Most of my life I've felt like I was in the wrong body. That I should have male parts. And I never understood how or why I just knew I wasn't a girl and that I felt I was tricking people to an extent not intentionally I felt I had no choice because I do have a female body nothing about my physical appearance is very masculine. Plus the things that are overlooked because I'm small. Like I read with Swyer's syndrome they are taller sometimes with bigger hands feet and broader with narrower hips etc.... I have most of that. My feet are proportionally big for my body I have narrow hips and broader shoulders but I'm usually around 100 lbs and 5 foot 1.5 which is actually taller for my family I'm closer to my grandpa's height than my mom's who is below 5 feet and so was her grandma and great grandma and so forth. Outside of that I look generally feminine and due to my small size very feminine. So I always felt I had no choice. But its like recently I found out I'm most likely genetically male. I only have my karyotype which is xxy and genes related to Swyer syndrome that feminize genetic male genitalia inner and outer. As I got older I felt more trapped and uncomfortable being a woman. But I tried to ignore all of this. I want to wait until and if I'm diagnosed because I'm still struggling to find a doctor for the geneticist side of it. But if I do I'm not sure what I want to do. If I want to transition. In part I think the damage is done. I'm too small to be a guy. And I don't know how to explain my situation to anyone I know. My family will think I'm gay but I call them all sorts of names I'm not concerned about it. But I just am not sure if there is any treatment to reverse the sex reversal I have already had basically. I don't want to be a joke. I feel like I'm too small and 23 so there's no chance of growing. And I'm also not sold on SRS. That's a big thing for me. Plus I'm a tad scared I'll go bald too because my mom's brother was bald at 19 and her dad has been almost all of his life. And I have a large chest so my body will never look normal I just don't want to end up feeling like I did worst than letting things be. Advice?
Each of your points of concern addressed:
- I'm not as short as you, but I have met guys as short as you who have no trouble being seen as guys. With height, it is more of a confidence thing. Will some people think it's weird that you're so short? Sure. Will it ultimately matter? No. Just own your shortness. Make a joke out of it and laugh it off.
- You are probably genetically predisposed to balding. You could ask your doctor for Finasteride to try to offset the T, but I'm not an expert on it so it may or may not be effective in your case. But a lot of men in general experience male pattern baldness. So balding is a fairly "male" experience that you could have in that sense.
- Bottom surgery is pretty good these days. The only time I ever hear negative opinions expressed is from guys who haven't had it. Do more research on it before you come to any conclusions about it. There is a stupid amount of misinformation out there from people who frankly have no business speaking on it.
- Most guys end up having top surgery, so not sure why a large chest would be an issue to transitioning. I had a large chest before I transitioned too, now I'm flat.
Now. I'm not intersex that I know of, and I have no inclination to find out if I am. But if you feel uncomfortable with your body to the point that you are considering transitioning, do you necessarily need to speak to a geneticist to confirm your intersex status? Hormone levels drive HRT dosage, so not really likely that your genes will matter for that. I also don't think I've ever read that intersex people can't have any kind of surgery, so top surgery and SRS wouldn't be ruled out for you on that basis.
Aside from potentially being intersex, it sounds like you're doing the same kinds of questioning that everyone does before they decide whether or not to transition. I can't tell you whether or not transition is right for you. I also won't tell you to give HRT a shot if you're not 100% sure about it, because T is the stronger hormone and has many irreversible changes. I will say that almost everyone is unsure at the stage you're at, so you're not alone in that regard.
I would spend some time doing more research. Perhaps also talking to a therapist about your concerns. And then weigh the pros and cons. If you're uncomfortable now and don't care about alienating your family, you don't have too much to lose by giving it a shot, but there may be other circumstances in your life that you need to account for before you make a decision.
You might be able to get a growth spurt with T.
My own cis brothers grew 3-5 inches after college.
Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 05:26:06 PM
Each of your points of concern addressed:
- I'm not as short as you, but I have met guys as short as you who have no trouble being seen as guys. With height, it is more of a confidence thing. Will some people think it's weird that you're so short? Sure. Will it ultimately matter? No. Just own your shortness. Make a joke out of it and laugh it off.
- You are probably genetically predisposed to balding. You could ask your doctor for Finasteride to try to offset the T, but I'm not an expert on it so it may or may not be effective in your case. But a lot of men in general experience male pattern baldness. So balding is a fairly "male" experience that you could have in that sense.
- Bottom surgery is pretty good these days. The only time I ever hear negative opinions expressed is from guys who haven't had it. Do more research on it before you come to any conclusions about it. There is a stupid amount of misinformation out there from people who frankly have no business speaking on it.
- Most guys end up having top surgery, so not sure why a large chest would be an issue to transitioning. I had a large chest before I transitioned too, now I'm flat.
Now. I'm not intersex that I know of, and I have no inclination to find out if I am. But if you feel uncomfortable with your body to the point that you are considering transitioning, do you necessarily need to speak to a geneticist to confirm your intersex status? Hormone levels drive HRT dosage, so not really likely that your genes will matter for that. I also don't think I've ever read that intersex people can't have any kind of surgery, so top surgery and SRS wouldn't be ruled out for you on that basis.
Aside from potentially being intersex, it sounds like you're doing the same kinds of questioning that everyone does before they decide whether or not to transition. I can't tell you whether or not transition is right for you. I also won't tell you to give HRT a shot if you're not 100% sure about it, because T is the stronger hormone and has many irreversible changes. I will say that almost everyone is unsure at the stage you're at, so you're not alone in that regard.
I would spend some time doing more research. Perhaps also talking to a therapist about your concerns. And then weigh the pros and cons. If you're uncomfortable now and don't care about alienating your family, you don't have too much to lose by giving it a shot, but there may be other circumstances in your life that you need to account for before you make a decision.
My mom's dad is 5'3" but I hardly hear about cismen that are 5'2" I saw one Asian guy I think may have been an adult possibly a young man around 18-21 who was that height but I've never seen a black guy or mixed guy my height.
My father had all his hair at 26 and I don't know what his dad's hair did I believe he's bald now though. Not sure how the whole thing is carried. I am very vain I guess like I like my hair short normally but I like it to have some type of style and stuff going bald kind of gets rid of that.
I thought there was like a 50% failure rate my issue is I don't want to end up transitioning and having to have my penis removed I think at that point I would be very likely to be suicidal. No I just remember reading with top surgery there's a lot of scarring so everyone know I had the surgery unless I wore like make up but even then if I went swimming shirtless it would still wash off.
Well I need to know for a lot of reasons this is included but not the only reason I need to know because of healthy reasons mental reasons and gender identity reasons. Health reasons because Swyer syndrome can cause tumors in the ovaries or gonads. Mental reasons because I have had a lot of issues that have to do with Klinefelter syndrome. I have add dyslexia low energy language problems and poor motor skills high anxiety and low confidence etc.... I think my brain was effected more by Klinefelter syndrome. Most people with ks identify as male like I do so I think that's why I identify as male. If it is true. I had a DNA test that showed a karyotype of xxy with sry genes on the y that were the same seen in people with Swyer's syndrome. So for those reason I need to know. Plus for me I had physical issues like precocious puberty and uneven cycles I've had ultrasounds that showed I had a small uterus and the latter is in common with Swyer's syndrome. And added to the fact that I've felt like I was a man stuck in a woman's body. To find out that it may be true on a physical level that I am a man stuck in a woman's body motivates me to actually do something about it. I don't really understand the concept of gender. I never have had any desire to cross dress or to wear feminine clothing I have an for what styles fit my form but this is why I've kind of doubted my feelings because I never have wanted to take up any gender roles and honestly you know my perception of other genders I've always felt I was gay if I had sex with anyone as in I felt like both men and women were on some level or another the same sex. So my perception in many ways is unisex or intersex which is what I am. The one thing I always felt was that I was more like a man and somehow supposed to be a man mostly but had a little girl's body. I never understand how PR why I felt this way and ignored it because I'm not atypical transgender person to validate my feelings in that sense. I never rejected being called female pronouns as a child or female clothing. But I did still associated more with boys than I did girls and my mannerism and instincts have always been different than a girl's.
I think you may be over analyzing this and you should look at it from another point of view. Lets say you knew that the transition wasn't going to come off perfectly. Could you remain comfortable as you currently are? In my case, I knew it wasn't possible for me to remain in the male role and be comfortable with myself so I couldn't be any worst off if I transitioned. If you can be comfortable as you are, perhaps the transition isn't a good idea. There isn't any guarantee that the transition will give you the perfect body so assume the worst and decide which way you would be more comfortable.
My other issue is work and I don't really want to come put to others. I tried in the past to come out as transgender the problem was always my sexuality doesn't match as in it's not socially acceptable for the chance its socially acceptable to be trans its unbelievable to a lot of people to be transgender and to not like women and be attracted to men basically only. I don't want to go through that again socially I kind of kept all that to myself. And if I were to wear it on my sleeve I don't know if I'm ready for that. It would be nice if I could just start life over as a boy with Klinefelter syndrome I could be basically completely myself of course some different because I don't believe in gender riles bhtthose would be personal decision
Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 05:26:06 PM
Each of your points of concern addressed:
- I'm not as short as you, but I have met guys as short as you who have no trouble being seen as guys. With height, it is more of a confidence thing. Will some people think it's weird that you're so short? Sure. Will it ultimately matter? No. Just own your shortness. Make a joke out of it and laugh it off.
- You are probably genetically predisposed to balding. You could ask your doctor for Finasteride to try to offset the T, but I'm not an expert on it so it may or may not be effective in your case. But a lot of men in general experience male pattern baldness. So balding is a fairly "male" experience that you could have in that sense.
- Bottom surgery is pretty good these days. The only time I ever hear negative opinions expressed is from guys who haven't had it. Do more research on it before you come to any conclusions about it. There is a stupid amount of misinformation out there from people who frankly have no business speaking on it.
- Most guys end up having top surgery, so not sure why a large chest would be an issue to transitioning. I had a large chest before I transitioned too, now I'm flat.
Now. I'm not intersex that I know of, and I have no inclination to find out if I am. But if you feel uncomfortable with your body to the point that you are considering transitioning, do you necessarily need to speak to a geneticist to confirm your intersex status? Hormone levels drive HRT dosage, so not really likely that your genes will matter for that. I also don't think I've ever read that intersex people can't have any kind of surgery, so top surgery and SRS wouldn't be ruled out for you on that basis.
Aside from potentially being intersex, it sounds like you're doing the same kinds of questioning that everyone does before they decide whether or not to transition. I can't tell you whether or not transition is right for you. I also won't tell you to give HRT a shot if you're not 100% sure about it, because T is the stronger hormone and has many irreversible changes. I will say that almost everyone is unsure at the stage you're at, so you're not alone in that regard.
I would spend some time doing more research. Perhaps also talking to a therapist about your concerns. And then weigh the pros and cons. If you're uncomfortable now and don't care about alienating your family, you don't have too much to lose by giving it a shot, but there may be other circumstances in your life that you need to account for before you make a decision.
If I could grow an inch or 2 I'd feel like becoming a man would be more realistic.
Quote from: Raell on December 15, 2016, 07:40:27 PM
You might be able to get a growth spurt with T.
My own cis brothers grew 3-5 inches after college.
Quote from: dmj23 on December 15, 2016, 08:31:20 PM
My other issue is work and I don't really want to come put to others. I tried in the past to come out as transgender the problem was always my sexuality doesn't match as in it's not socially acceptable for the chance its socially acceptable to be trans its unbelievable to a lot of people to be transgender and to not like women and be attracted to men basically only.
Sexuality and gender identity don't have to match. They have nothing to do with each other. I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.
But if you don't want to come out ever, then don't transition. Simple as that. It's not really something you can hide unless you go somewhere no one knows you, only see doctors and surgeons in order to medically transition while you're there, and then move somewhere else where no one knows you once it's all over.
Being a woman is a beautiful thing but its not quite for me. I don't want t to be anything but a woman I just think being a man would suit me better than being a woman. And I have always felt like this was a defect and uncomfortable in my current body but I'm fully aware there is way worst I have a nice body and I'm a pretty woman there is far worst that could happen like me getting caught in between and not being what I appear to be now and not become want I feel I was set to be without the condition if I were to fall short I'd feel like its a lose lose situation. I don't see being not female as being a man. I see that as not being a man end of story. I don't feel like anything better than being a woman. Being a woman is beautiful I just never felt a connection though to being a woma n I've always felt fake and like I was being a woman on a technicality which rings to actually be true for me. I don't want to be stuck in a woman's body but like you said I don't want to fail and feel suicidal when all I had to do is let things be.
Quote from: Dena on December 15, 2016, 07:58:47 PM
I think you may be over analyzing this and you should look at it from another point of view. Lets say you knew that the transition wasn't going to come off perfectly. Could you remain comfortable as you currently are? In my case, I knew it wasn't possible for me to remain in the male role and be comfortable with myself so I couldn't be any worst off if I transitioned. If you can be comfortable as you are, perhaps the transition isn't a good idea. There isn't any guarantee that the transition will give you the perfect body so assume the worst and decide which way you would be more comfortable.
Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 09:01:31 PM
Sexuality and gender identity don't have to match. They have nothing to do with each other. I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.
But if you don't want to come out ever, then don't transition. Simple as that. It's not really something you can hide unless you go somewhere no one knows you, only see doctors and surgeons in order to medically transition while you're there, and then move somewhere else where no one knows you once it's all over.
That's actually what I've been considering. I have no friends. I'm a loner and I have no family. Its just through the middle period how some people would react as acquaintances semi friends at work and stuff. And how to keep my job and also I do research and I can be trans at research they tried to say I couldn't do research with even my condition but management realized it had nothing to do with it. But yeah like u lay for highly expensive stuff like treatment through research idk how to hide it there.
Also I know sexuality can be mismatched I experience it myself I'm attracted to men but I identify as male and all that but most people I've met expect if you're a transman to like women when I came out as trans when I was 18 and 19 I felt like I was very awkward because I didn't like women. And only liked men.
Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 09:01:31 PM
Sexuality and gender identity don't have to match. They have nothing to do with each other. I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.
But if you don't want to come out ever, then don't transition. Simple as that. It's not really something you can hide unless you go somewhere no one knows you, only see doctors and surgeons in order to medically transition while you're there, and then move somewhere else where no one knows you once it's all over.
An FTM can transition completely but it takes time, money, and patience and you'll have to be on T for the rest of your life. But there are many options out there, you can take T temporarily or not at all, choose to have surgery or not. Basically do what you need to do for your dysphoria and your identity. There are a lot of videos of people's successful transitions online. You might want to check them out and see if that's something you're drawn to. Just remember, all those T mediated changes take time, more time if your T levels start out low.
Quote from: dmj23 on December 15, 2016, 09:15:26 PM
That's actually what I've been considering. I have no friends. I'm a loner and I have no family. Its just through the middle period how some people would react as acquaintances semi friends at work and stuff. And how to keep my job and also I do research and I can be trans at research they tried to say I couldn't do research with even my condition but management realized it had nothing to do with it. But yeah like u lay for highly expensive stuff like treatment through research idk how to hide it there.
Are you in the US or Canada or another country?
Quote from: dmj23 on December 15, 2016, 09:34:02 PM
Also I know sexuality can be mismatched I experience it myself I'm attracted to men but I identify as male and all that but most people I've met expect if you're a transman to like women when I came out as trans when I was 18 and 19 I felt like I was very awkward because I didn't like women. And only liked men.
Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 09:01:31 PM
Sexuality and gender identity don't have to match. They have nothing to do with each other. I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.
But if you don't want to come out ever, then don't transition. Simple as that. It's not really something you can hide unless you go somewhere no one knows you, only see doctors and surgeons in order to medically transition while you're there, and then move somewhere else where no one knows you once it's all over.
That just means you're a gay man. There's no mismatch to it. Call it what it is.