Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I know this is an on going dilemma , but I thought I'd seek out the infamous Bell Curve. Please be patient with my insanity.

Thank you for putting this up and asking this question. I was pleasantly surprised to find how strongly I felt for '2'.

To quote Popeye "I yam what I yam"...so, a 1 I guess.

If you had asked me four years ago the answer would have been 10.

10.  It's a binary thing for me.  I fully accept it, and am doing everything in my power to fully transition, as part of being what I truly am.  Nonacceptance comes with a certain penalty clause, where I wrap myself in black depression and leave this life behind, a rather final sort of thing.


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Take that back... this is a 8.

Let's not bull ourselves either though. I can accept it, but if I had it the other way, I rather be cisgender woman. I don't care about "making myself to the person who I am", I gave up having children biologically, gave up at least 100-120k to look passable, gave up my family loving me unconditionally.

I accept it, but I accept it only because I have no choice

10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

I voted "1" even though I'm only 60% transmale.

I just means that I know 100% that I'm partially trans.

1

I see it as a magical metamorphosis.  The fact that I am actually doing this.  It's something that for most of my life I could never even conceive of.  I believe that at some point, somewhere along the line, I really did something right to deserve this happy karma.

Deny, Deny, Deny. Although I know it's true.

I was diagnosed as hypogonadic more than ten years ago, and have attended several local trans groups a few times.

I've had the name and phone number of a local trans-friendly counselor for nearly a decade, but I have never called. I've driven to her office a few time but never went in.

I know with certainty that if I went through that door, I would be declared transgender, recommended for HRT, and eventually probably have SRS.  So I don't go through that door and set off a chain of events.

I know a lot of you prayed to wake up a girl when you were young.  In my case it appears God was listening.  My testosterone is near zero and my estradiol is way above the male range.  Now at age 67, overweight at 250 lbs, SRS would not be an option.

Although I am mostly bald, my body is undeniable female looking.  I have a great set of boobs that are obscured by my 46" waist.  Here again is denial.  If I got down to 170 lbs my boobs and butt would remain and it would be impossible to hide my female characteristics.

 

Totally.

I have always known, always accepted who I was inside. I'm just happy I finally decided to show me outside. Hiding in the world is just a prescription for depression and that which follows.

Archlord, I can understand that sentiment. I'm over the "never will be" part. I'm just looking for peace now in my life.

I said 2.  I accept being trans because I yam what I yam.  I fought it for 60+ years and I'm done with fighting it.  I didn't say 1 because I still wish it weren't so.  Life would be so much easier being cis.

Quote from: archlord on December 22, 2016, 11:19:19 PM
10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

Yes this is how I feel about it as well, to always know that you will be labelled as trans no mater what is so disheartening. Glad some of you can see past that though, maby i can as well some day but for now 10 it is.

I don't really have a choice in the matter, therefore I accept it for what it is. 

Even if I had a choice, to just be a completely average guy who did not think of gender, I would rather be this way, it sucks, but it is who I am.. and tbh I'm not entirely bad person, I haven't wronged anyone as far as I know, I have a lot of empathy, I may be trans, but that is far from the worst thing out there.  I would rather be TG than a psychopath, or any other number of people who gain pleasure from hurting others.  When I go to sleep, I do so with a clear conscious, I like that - even though it often puts me at a disadvantage. 

The only thing I find a hard time accepting right now, is people in general, I don't hate them, but they scare the hell out of me.

An interesting question to post, one that I have been wrestling with for the past few months. While I fully believe that being cis, of either gender, would be far easier on both me and my partner, but......As it has been so eloquently stated, "I yam what I yam" ( thank you Popeye and Ms. Grace). In the past few months I have progressed from, "ok so I am trans" to "WOW, I just couldn't be happier". The magic of hrt has gifted me with mood swings that swing to both needles on the meter. Last year there were times that I am surprised that I survived. For now and from that perspective, Anne couldn't be happier and am really glad to be alive! - Anne

It is what it is, not accepting will not change anything except to give you a bad life.

another classic inverse bell curve by our little community :icon_bat: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance:

Quote from: archlord on December 22, 2016, 11:19:19 PM
10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

I feel your pain. I really do and it upsets me you will not be satisfied with what you have accomplished thus far. The results have been miraculous. Luckily you are on the young side and with the recent attempt to transplant a female uterus, you do seem to be on a path to success in the future. Be patient, it will happen and your female persona can be fulfilled. In the meantime concentrate on making the inside as beautiful as the outside as that is where the essence exists. All the rest is just scalpels a and sutures.

I don't mind being or accepting myself as Trans. It's the rest of the world that I'd wish would just be cool with it. If I woke up as cis-female tomorrow, that'd be great. But there is something special about being trans that I can't deny - in spite of all the awful crap I've endured.

If I'm honest with myself, I have to say that I don't particularly like the fact that I am a transsexual woman. I would much prefer being a regular ciswoman. I think if I were to be fine with being transsexual, the quality of my life would greatly improve but alas, it is what it is. I can't force myself to feel a certain way. I'm sure I came to internalize this feeling after seeing how others viewed transpeople when I was younger. :(

I really contemplated my reply for a while which is 1 yet it took me 50 plus years to come to terms with it. At 57 years old the realization came that without gender confirmation surgery I would be a very unhappy person if I didn't transition which would had if asked several years ago my response would had been on the opposite end of the scale.

I don't know , but I think if we all could just embrace being trans , eventually we would just be seen as any other woman by society. The trans thing will just turn into one of those words that people rarely use .

Well, I picked 4.  I am not too sure how much I accept me for me.  If I were really sure I would just go full time.  That is saying rather a lot as four years ago I didn't even know what transgender was let alone that I was.

Erin

I put a 3, for the most part I am fine with it but there's definitely ebbs and flows!  Lately, mostly flowing.
Paula

I am trans and I have transitioned.  Can't get any more accepting than that I guess.....

1. Fully accept it because I 100% didn't accept being born male.

Now if the question was how do you accept NOT being born a woman well that would be different

1 I am incredibly thankful for being trans.

I am very happy and thankful to be given the opportunity to be  on the front-line changing hearts and minds towards trans people across the world making it a safer place for trans people.

I love teaching others about trans people who ask helping them understand trans people these include: Police Officers, Doctors, Nurses, Hate group members, Christians and many others.

I have caused people to leave hate groups going from hating us to loving us.

I went changing hearts and minds while in Alabama US last getting 5 people to go from disliking trans people to loving us. I fear nothing if its my time I go out happy knowing I am doing the right thing knowing I am choosing the highest calling. You can kill me but you can not kill a idea the idea of love for all.

I am racking up a large count of people who I have helped change their view point on trans people from disliking us or very hateful to absolutely loving trans people who then go on to help fight for trans rights despite being cis.

I am so grateful to be given the opportunity to change the world for the better to make it a more loving place for the T community.

I am so looking forward to 2017 when I can move to the US where I can work very hard improving lives for trans people and improving the quality of life for the T community and create job opportunities for the T community and help bring down the struggle for the T community making the T community happier.

Yes, I accepted it the moment I figured it out.

There's nothing to be gained spiritually from hiding from the truth. Whether you tell other people and what they think is a different matter but my reasoning was always that if something is a problem, you work around it until it isn't anymore. That's how I dealt with anxiety, shyness, problems talking to people in the past and now this.

If there is some other way to deal with it by not accepting it, I doubt I'd be able to do it.

I'm not happy I had to deal with this burden, but there just seems no point pretending it's not there.

I've totally accepted being a transgender woman. I would hope so since I'm post-op.
What I'm working on now, is to stop wondering why.

Quote from: stephaniec on December 23, 2016, 04:29:42 PM
I don't know , but I think if we all could just embrace being trans , eventually we would just be seen as any other woman by society. The trans thing will just turn into one of those words that people rarely use .

People are still put in prison for it in other parts of the world. I don't think it will ever change until there is legit widely known proof that the brain is physically and neurologically different. And Christianity falls in favor. And there is medical procedures to chemically change the DNA, and the make the body identical to a woman... *and even then...*

Accept it... no. I've tried. For years I've tried. But the self I see behind my eyes, in my dreams, in every fibre of my being has a... realism I can never hope to attain in a way that would satisfy me. And I can't accept that. Within my soul I can't accept that. As much as I wish I could. It's one of my biggest failings, and a source of much anguish.

Deal with it... yes. Because I have to. Because life goes on. I wish I were a stronger person, to feel more at ease. But sadly I am not. All we can do is be as true to ourselves as we can be. Even when, at times, that doesn't feel like enough. Especially when it doesn't feel like enough.

Maybe one day I will reach a place where I can feel better about it, but in spite of everything, I am not there yet. I envy those who are.

Sephirah kinda echo'd my thoughts, I've acknowledged that I am transgender, that the only way I'll ever have a chance at any semblance of quality of life is to transition but I do not now or ever think I'll ever accept/like the fact that I'm trans. Lost out on a proper childhood, have a body/bones that are waaay large for a girl, forever have a empty hole inside of my stomach that in my lifetime will probably never be filled, have to undergo many extremely painful treatments to remove male traits that never should have been there in the first place, have to be the target of extreme hatred by many in the world and so much more all because of a birth defect that was completely out of my control. There really is only 3 choices I've ever had 1) Live as a "guy" which impossible because I've never been one and pretending to be one and hiding my true self is the ultimate form of torture and if I didn't start hormones when I did early this year I doubt I'd be here typing this as I couldn't take it anymore. 2) Suicide.... I've tried many times throughout my life but in all my thankfully unsuccessful attempts I've learned that the only thing I fear more then never getting accepted/being able to be me is dying and truly never getting a chance to be myself. I'd like to think theres some heaven or reincarnation or something where I'll get "rewarded" or something for everything I've been through but I just don't know and I just don't want to die never getting to be myself... even thinking about it makes my hard feel squeezed.... 3) Transition/what I'm doing now. Certainly far from perfect and many limitations but it's really the only option I have.

Of course the above only applies to myself as I know there are quite a few people here happy being trans and I'm very happy for you! Just for me though I don't think I'll ever be happy with my situation, a permanent asterisk reminding me that I'm always different, it's just unfair and nothing I can ever do to rewrite the past =/

Does anybody remember this one from the classic prayers greatest hits collection?

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Quote from: Jane Emily on December 25, 2016, 11:47:23 AM
Does anybody remember this one from the classic prayers greatest hits collection?

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

That's almost it.

QuoteI find within myself the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Each of us holds the key within ourselves.  When the time is right, we will unlock our inner serenity, courage, and wisdom.

In that sense, I fully accept being transgender. 


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That's nice. I like it.

I fully accept that I am the 3rd gender. I'm proud to be that. So 1.

Quote from: Sephirah on December 25, 2016, 01:09:05 AM
Accept it... no. I've tried. For years I've tried. But the self I see behind my eyes, in my dreams, in every fibre of my being has a... realism I can never hope to attain in a way that would satisfy me. And I can't accept that. Within my soul I can't accept that. As much as I wish I could. It's one of my biggest failings, and a source of much anguish.

Deal with it... yes. Because I have to. Because life goes on. I wish I were a stronger person, to feel more at ease. But sadly I am not. All we can do is be as true to ourselves as we can be. Even when, at times, that doesn't feel like enough. Especially when it doesn't feel like enough.

Maybe one day I will reach a place where I can feel better about it, but in spite of everything, I am not there yet. I envy those who are.

+ 1. Exactly, all that! Couldn't have said it better.

¡¡¡ UNO !!! One! Not a second of hesitation.

I know that there are tremendous benefits to us individually, and to society in general for us being the way we are and doing the things we do. I don't know what all those benefits are. Yet. But I am wildly eager to learn more as this story of human evolution unfolds around us and within us.

Love, Miharu

I feel I'm about a 5. I say 5 because I've come to terms with being trans, but obviously if I could have been born cis, naturally I'd take that over having to go through a transition. And 5 also because I'm stealth but I know that I'm not 100% stealth because I told some ex boyfriends and old friends. So at any possibility, I know that me being "stealth" could be ripped away from me at any moment and I'm fine with that.  I recently had srs and I'm the happiest I've even been in my life and I cherish life now more than ever

10

I am almost a 1, but still trying to figure it out.  I always felt female but never knew why well recently found out; after 25 doctors, several surgeries they reluctantly told me I have a form of moasic Kleinfelters syndrome with partial androgen sensativity from prenatal exposure to DES. I developed severe osteoporosis and only hope to slow it was estrogen.  Fast forward three years the osteoporosis has been reversed but not the damage it did and yes I got the dreaded side effects lol. I love the new me but sadly I'm still under the radar for sake of family, business and especially health insurance but maybe 2017 will see changes since my doctors have said I will need to stay on estrogen for life. PLEASE any girls born between 1940-1972 please get a bone density test especially if not on HRT because second puberty is tough without going thru it disabled. hope everyone has a HAPPY 2017, thank you all.

I chose 3. Whilst I do accept that I'm trans, I see it as a burden, and have a hard time fully embracing it due to fear and feelings of shame that I just can't seem to shake. That said, I had been fighting the trans feelings for the best part of 50 years until I got to the point where I just couldn't fight them any more, hence why I'm heading in the direction of transition.

I had no choice in the matter. I was born this way. The alternative as I see it, was and is unthinkable. I am post-op and I am happy. The only thing I regret is not transitioning sooner, like 50 years ago!

I wish I could say YES - ABSOLUTELY

About as much as I wish I could say NFW... I wish I wasn't. But truth be Told, I am

Absolutely, I can and DO accept it. Practically, in the world I move in... they can't really. I barely do as a matter of survival.

Quote from: Sephirah on December 25, 2016, 01:09:05 AM
Accept it... no. I've tried. For years I've tried. But the self I see behind my eyes, in my dreams, in every fibre of my being has a... realism I can never hope to attain in a way that would satisfy me. And I can't accept that. Within my soul I can't accept that. As much as I wish I could. It's one of my biggest failings, and a source of much anguish.

Deal with it... yes. Because I have to. Because life goes on. I wish I were a stronger person, to feel more at ease. But sadly I am not. All we can do is be as true to ourselves as we can be. Even when, at times, that doesn't feel like enough. Especially when it doesn't feel like enough.

Maybe one day I will reach a place where I can feel better about it, but in spite of everything, I am not there yet. I envy those who are.

Quote from: archlord on December 22, 2016, 11:19:19 PM10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

"Cis" and "trans" are narrative constructs.  They're just stories.  Stories can be rewritten.  Just takes a different perspective.

You're a woman now.  You can let go of the old story.  However, my dear Ripley, it might feel like it takes the effort of kicking the Alien out of the airlock.

Quote from: Sephirah on December 25, 2016, 01:09:05 AMMaybe one day I will reach a place where I can feel better about it, but in spite of everything, I am not there yet. I envy those who are.

Irene: I don't even know who you are.

Vincent: I'm the same person I was yesterday.

Irene: I can't hear any more of your lies Jerome...

Vincent: My name is Vincent, all right? Vincent Anton Freeman, and I'm a "faith birth" or a "de-gene-erate", whatever you want to call it; but I am NOT a murderer!

Irene: You're a "God-child"?

Vincent: [takes Irene's hand and places over his heart] But we do have one thing in common, only I don't have twenty or thirty years left in mine. Mine is already ten thousand beats overdue.

Irene: It's not possible.

Vincent: You are the authority on what is not possible, aren't you Irene? They've got you looking for any flaw, that after a while that's all you see. For what it's worth, I'm here to tell you that it is possible. It is possible.

--Gattaca (1997)