I'm having a battle with myself over my hair. For many years, I've kept it buzzed down, shorter and shorter all the time. Nearly a month ago, I cut it to it's normal quarter inch, then immediately decided I wanted to grow it out.
I want real feminine hair. Not a wig. The problem is, I picture myself with dark hair as in my youth and my hair is almost completely white. I know that it's going to go through a very long period of looking really awful. When I get to the length I want, it's going to look terrible in guy mode. I'll have the old hippy pony tail. I'll go through all that to get something that isn't what I imagined, has to go around a face that's just south of homely, and will only be used maybe 25% of the time. Right now it's just fuzzy and gross :(. Rationally, I think growing it out is a terrible idea.
To make matters worse, my fiancee is NOT into it. She likes the short hair and agrees that long white hair will be a disaster. She wants to get me a wig. I just don't think that is going to make me feel better.
I'm usually not a risk taker. I prefer the rational course, but when it comes to girl mode, I've been a little irrational at times. Please tell me there's something I can do about the "fuzzy look" to buy me some more time to make this decision. It's really hard to look in the mirror right now and say "I'm doing the right thing".
On the plus side, since I started taking care of my hair, it's never been softer.
Possibly a hair compromise. There are many medium length hair cuts that can be styled for either gender. You need to start at Hairfinder (http://www.hairfinder.com/) and see what you can come up with. I decided I am tired of the perm and have switched to a bowl cut. While I will always wear it as a female, it could be worn in male mode as well.
Quote from: Kat-lady on December 22, 2016, 11:38:04 PM
To make matters worse, my fiancee is NOT into it. She likes the short hair and agrees that long white hair will be a disaster. She wants to get me a wig. I just don't think that is going to make me feel better.
I don't have anything to offer on the 'fuzzy look', as that's what is under my wigs. Mostly skin, but a band of 1/4" hair around the edges...
While the long white hair might be a disaster, there is a solution for this used by the vast majority of women out there. It's called 'hair dye'. Seriously. Look around. Women in their 50s, 60s and later do not naturally have black, auburn, red, or blonde hair devoid of any trace of gray or white. Heck, my 25 year old daughter had plenty of gray. HAD. Hair dye fixed that right up.
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I've already picked out the hair style I'd like to have. It came from a young youtuber under the name of Seadresa. They are gender fluid and present sometimes as male and sometimes as female. I kind of have a crush on this persons female side. ::) The cut is relatively short, but super cute. Though it is more of a young persons cut.
The problem with hair dye is it so rarely looks natural. It's common among women, having an unnatural hair color is practically the norm. An unnatural looking dye job in guy mode will not be as acceptable. I have considered it. If it looked too bad, I could get rid of it with a quick return to my quarter inch buzz cut. I'm just afraid being so close and having to give it up might break my heart.
Wigs can be a drag, but good ones (usually fitted and styled, but also more expensive) can make a significant difference. You just need to look after it is all.
Yes. Hair style is the most critical in presenting as a woman.
Women's hair should be tidy. It is beyond men typically imagine. Women invest a lot in their hair. Here hair dressers in any hair salon recommend some hair styles for me. Even I can choose my own style. Then they make my hair look very tidy. As I have had some grey hairs since my teens, I sometimes dye my hair. It can damage my hair, but perming my hair makes the grey hairs less noticeable.
You may visit any hair salon to consult about your desirable hair style.
barbie~~
My wife didn't like my longer hair at first either, particularly since she has always been my barber. So, I just told her I wasn't going to cut it anymore! She didn't get angry about it but at first she would still say something about every two weeks. That gradually tapered off and now that it's below my shoulders she never mentions it at all other than to say once in a while that she wants me to dye it darker.
So, maybe you just need to stand your ground and she will get used to it.
And use the hair dye; use it about every eight weeks. You can be any color you want.
Guy mode does become problematic as it gets long. The benefit is that nobody will say Sir anymore. LOL. The key is to not worry about it. If you act comfortable with yourself and are nice to people they almost always respond in kind.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves
I started growing mine out in 2011, and it's been getting steadily greyer over the years. My hairline has continued to recede, so I figured wigs were going to be my future. We tried a few on last weekend, and fell in love with some of the lovely greys. We bought one at the store and ordered a few more. My wife took a few photos of me in a grey wig and my new glasses and forwarded it around to a bunch of her friends. The response was just overwhelming. I am totally sold on grey.
Erin
Yeah, I was buzz cut too. I've been steadily growing out. I had to put up with comments from people. Nothing to bad though. I have noticeable grey, but mostly still color. I found that once it was long enough I colored it and it made me feel wonderful and shut down the comments. My cis girlfriends all say it is now getting more feminine. It is almost long enough to get to the beauty shop for trim and advice. It has been TOTALLY worth it though. I really like what I see in the mirror now. I know, for me, seeing the mussed up hair in the mirror and painted toenails starts my day off right and reminds me who I am becoming. I have found growing my own hair out has been very empowering.
Keep at it! All hair goes through an awkward stage when it grows out. I'd recommend getting some clip-in extensions in the awkward stage. As for the "fuzziness", try straightening it with a good ceramic straightener and using a dime sized amount of smoother (I like the Chi stuff) to smooth it. Dyeing it darker will thicken the hair shaft, as well.
I'm going to be 60 this year. A good bit of my hair has turned white. I'm not sure how much, because I've been dying it for years! I let the front grow out white and then I dyed it purple. Lol.
So there's no reason to have white hair if you don't want it. My hair gets frizzy, but it's always been that way. I don't care. I'm happy I still have hair!
I haven't cut it in about 2 years now. (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170410/3a00cb42f9cebc8a79a752f5c55abbf2.jpg)
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