I just recently turned 18 and I've informed my friend about my desire to transition at 15. She's never seemed to take it seriously and she's the only person who knows about it besides an old school counsellor.
She sometimes makes sneaky remarks about it to my sister (who doesn't know yet and I wouldn't like her to know until I am ready.) and on one occasion jokingly called me "he" before giving me this feigned look of "oops."
When I first told her she shrugged it off and said "you're going to be disappointed when you find out that having a d**k won't solve all of your issues." and while we were watching TV (Family Guy, the episode where Quagmire's dad transitions.) she mentioned that she found that "disgusting."
More recently she proposed the idea of going bra shopping with me as I apparently "need" more. I declined, even the mere thought of it making me feel dysphoric but she said "you're a woman, you should start acting like one." and I can't even describe how much that hurt me. I don't think she'll really take me seriously and I'm not so sure who else to reach out to at the moment. :(
Yes, your "friend" doesn't get it. You need to have a serious talk with her about how hurtful this is and if she doesn't change her ways, you should see less of her. It's one thing if a person doesn't know but when they know and they go out of their way to hurt you, they are not a friend.
Quote from: Manatee on December 23, 2016, 01:40:09 PM
I just recently turned 18 and I've informed my friend about my desire to transition at 15. She's never seemed to take it seriously and she's the only person who knows about it besides an old school counsellor.
She sometimes makes sneaky remarks about it to my sister (who doesn't know yet and I wouldn't like her to know until I am ready.) and on one occasion jokingly called me "he" before giving me this feigned look of "oops."
When I first told her she shrugged it off and said "you're going to be disappointed when you find out that having a d**k won't solve all of your issues." and while we were watching TV (Family Guy, the episode where Quagmire's dad transitions.) she mentioned that she found that "disgusting."
More recently she proposed the idea of going bra shopping with me as I apparently "need" more. I declined, even the mere thought of it making me feel dysphoric but she said "you're a woman, you should start acting like one." and I can't even describe how much that hurt me. I don't think she'll really take me seriously and I'm not so sure who else to reach out to at the moment. :(
Ouch! [emoji34]
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Quote from: Manatee on December 23, 2016, 01:40:09 PM
I just recently turned 18 and I've informed my friend about my desire to transition at 15. She's never seemed to take it seriously and she's the only person who knows about it besides an old school counsellor.
She sometimes makes sneaky remarks about it to my sister (who doesn't know yet and I wouldn't like her to know until I am ready.) and on one occasion jokingly called me "he" before giving me this feigned look of "oops."
When I first told her she shrugged it off and said "you're going to be disappointed when you find out that having a d**k won't solve all of your issues." and while we were watching TV (Family Guy, the episode where Quagmire's dad transitions.) she mentioned that she found that "disgusting."
More recently she proposed the idea of going bra shopping with me as I apparently "need" more. I declined, even the mere thought of it making me feel dysphoric but she said "you're a woman, you should start acting like one." and I can't even describe how much that hurt me. I don't think she'll really take me seriously and I'm not so sure who else to reach out to at the moment. :(
For CIS people sometimes being trans can be very hard to grasp explaining it may even take a large amount of time and effort for it to even come close to clicking or starting to make sense for them. Although it's possible they'll eventually understand but if they are religious or their family is religious it may be impossible or even more of a struggle and sometimes they just don't agree and the best thing we can do for ourselves is walk away from them.
I'd say sit down and have a long talk about how it hurts you but the way this seems to be going i don't like the sound of i won't lie give it a shot but if it doesn't change sticking around will hurt you more then it will hurt them. You can always speak to people on this site if you want feel free to pm and speak to me about it i'm willing to listen.
And if you want support outside in the world i'd ask can you drive? Or get a taxie? because finding a transgender support group could also be very helpful and that way you can feel comfortable and safe normally if you tell people who are also trans you're not out yet they'll respect that. You know, i had a friend once he was a great guy it seemed but when it came to acceptance his true side came out as much as a tried to get him to understand he couldn't grasp it and eventually we just stopped talking. People will always believe what they want and some will change but whatever happens i wish you luck. My grandmother and that guy did the same thing to me though "Lets go bra shopping!" i was like "NOPE!" may not be the best option but if they continue even after you've nicely explained you should say "Let's go shopping for boxers!"
^_^l sometimes that makes um mad though so be careful, but sometimes its sorta funny to watch them get a taste of their own medicine. Although you don't want to get them upset so that they out you so i wouldn't do the above. Although when the time comes and that happens again there is something you can use!
That doesn't sound the like the right person to confide in further.
You'd be better off keeping things to yourself than allowing someone to basically screw with you and threaten to drop the topic in front of people you don't want told.
My advice is to tread lightly and remain on her good side. From your mention that she already let your preferred pronoun slip, I'd be worried that if you made her upset she would "out" you just to be mean. On a side note, coming out breaks down those fears as you take away that person's control over you.
I'd echo that this does not sound like a person you need in your life any longer. As sad as it is, friendships do come and go. We all change as we get older and often times we grow apart from those people who we were closest to and shared everything with. I think the advice about not doing anything drastic is pretty good. If it were me, I'd just slowly start distancing myself from her. Let it go from there.