I woke up this morning, Christmas morning, tree still not decorated, presents not wrapped, my kids at their mother's, and it felt like just another day.
I've also finished the bulk of my name and gender change work, and I no longer have to answer to <deadname>. And this, too, feels like just another day. I'm the same person, I have the same life, just the name has changed (and how I dress for work.) After nine months of Sturm und Drang, the literal and figurative dirty dishes are there just like always.
Oh, well, time for Allison to wash the dishes, finish the tree, wrap the presents, and start making Christmas dinner for when the ex and the kids come over. Just like <deadname> did a year ago.
Nothing exciting, just living.
But I'm not complaining; it could be a whole lot worse (and for a lot of people, it is.)
And at least I don't have to pretend to be a guy any more.
Happy Holidays, Asche!
Randi's Jewish but likes Christmas trees so we have one and for the first time in years I actually enjoyed decorating it. No presents. Even though it's also Hanukkah we don't do that. I gave her a little something for her birthday two weeks ago, but mine has been unmarked for the last two years. No one else to give gifts to. Right now I'm doing laundry. This afternoon we'll see a movie then come home and make a nice roast and latkes for the second night. We're coming back to some kind of normalcy and that's the best present.
It never seems like just another day to me even when it's bad. Somehow the day manages to magnify whatever I'm feeling, good or bad.
It is just another day, but I like the fact I can spend it however I want. You couldn't do that as a kid, really... even if it seemed like the best day ever then.
Quote from: Asche on December 25, 2016, 06:54:37 AM
Nothing exciting, just living.
Now that I have entered into my own transition in earnest, I feel like this is really the ultimate goal, to finish my transition and continue my evolution as a person, just living.
I was once excited about Christmas as a celebration, but had begun to anticipate Halloween every year much more, anxious for the opportunity to show my true self by dressing as someone else. But since I've now passed that part of my life, I can let Halloween go by as just another day. Maybe you'll find that joy in Christmas again some day. Stranger things have happened. ;)
Erin