I'm finding that I may be one of the lucky few for whom realizing they are trans is very positive and liberating.
I guess I have never had a truly personal traumatic experience related to the issue, just the miasma of an anti-trans society and having to live a lie for so long.
I have fears still, like how HRT will affect my outlook, or how my wife will handle my change, but over all I feel a horrible weight has been lifted and I'm happy.
I think it may be attributable to my 'farm-girl / tomboy' outlook, or even my sense of practicality.
It hurts to hear so many of my sisters in pain, and I wish there were more I could do to help.
I would love to hear more stories about the happy moments people have experienced in the process of becoming themselves; not just for me, but so the people who are having a truly hard time can find some hope that things will get better.
I'll share one of my recent events as an example.
I have not come out to my wife, and I want to take it slow, so a couple of weeks ago I asked her to watch a movie with me. I put on 'Boy Meets Girl' (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3007302/ available on Netflix). I did this to judge her reaction, and because I love the movie. She was silent for most of the beginning, but part way through she commented 'Oh no, she's going to get beat up isn't she?' (in reference to Ms. Hendley's character Ricky) I thought 'yay!, she used the word she!'. The real positive thing came at the end of the movie, when Ricky is in the water and comes out; my wife griped my shoulder for a second and as the scene progressed she started to cry a bit (so did I). And finally at the end credits, she asked me "Where do you find these tear-jerkers?" Much the reaction I had been hoping for. :)
I would love to hear more from others about their own moments of positivity.
I came out to who I would consider my best friend a month or so ago. We were in the car and we were talking about how my girlfriend and I were having troubles (I had told her and the reaction was less than stellar). He asked, "Well, what's the problem? I thought you guys were doing alright." I told him, "Well, because I'm trans" He looked at me for a minute and just said, "What's that like?" I explained the best I could, using the analogy, "Assume your right handed, and some invisible force makes you only use your left hand for your entire life. You get good at it, but it still feels wrong. Then one day you say enough and just start using your right hand." (Paraphrasing from something I saw on here a while ago, sorry but I can't remember where) His response was, "Huh...so what do you think about this new deck idea? (Magic: the Gathering is our life) This just showed me that he just saw it as another facet of my being. Nothing to get worked up by one way or another. I'm not exalted nor am I disregarded for it. I am simply his friend and he respects me enough to accept whatever I need to do. This is the reaction I wanted. His girlfriend had almost the same reaction but more like, "Yay."
I felt ecstatic when I realized I am partially transmale.
It explained so many things, and I could then drop the idea that I was a "failure" at being a woman.
I really WASN'T one, in a way. Also, once I allowed my male side to manifest and gave him a name, acknowledged him, I felt such relief it was wonderful.
Panic attacks, anger, etc. vanished, or were greatly eased.
I realized that much of my unexplained resentment, sadness, and anger could be explained by my male side feeling invisible, ignored, misgendered, and disrespected.
Coming out to my wife, when she said, "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."
And a couple of weeks ago, we were in a restaurant, with me dressed as Kathy, and the waitress called us "ladies".