I used to be very good with helping CIS people understand transition you'd think after losing almost every one of those people i'd give up on CIS people but i didn't because some learned others didn't and iv'e helped a lot of them.
Although sense transitioning and old friends messing it up after saying they understand i'm not giving up on them but i don't feel like correcting or explaining anymore to those who it's been talked about with more then twice instead i just sit back and let it happen and i noticed i stopped responding or wanting to respond to them.
I just want my CIS friends back sometimes and a lot more then recently, and i'm sick of being not understood.
And i'm not the person to drop them but i'm getting to the point of "I'm not around" and it makes me sad because i know why, and i know how it happened. I'm missing that feeling of being with them but can't anymore it feels like.
I just want to be a guy how much is it to ask?
I'm not really in this situation so feel free to ignore me. But if I was I'm pretty sure even though I'd be upset it's better for my mental health in the long run to not keep in contact anymore. You can't say you didn't try. Same reason I don't talk to my dad or brother anymore. I know that I've met other cis people who understand a lot more than they do. And in the future it's likely I'll meet others who also do. Life's too short to waste it on fake people.
Quote from: Elis on January 17, 2017, 08:14:01 PM
I'm not really in this situation so feel free to ignore me. But if I was I'm pretty sure even though I'd be upset it's better for my mental health in the long run to not keep in contact anymore. You can't say you didn't try. Same reason I don't talk to my dad or brother anymore. I know that I've met other cis people who understand a lot more than they do. And in the future it's likely I'll meet others who also do. Life's too short to waste it on fake people.
100% this. As long as you've made an effort, you've done all you can. There's no point in continuing to subject yourself to mistreatment.
I'm also of the opinion that people don't have to understand in order to be supportive. If someone can't wrap their mind around me being trans but is overall positive about my life and my transition, I have no issues with that.
Quote from: FTMax on January 17, 2017, 08:16:35 PM
100% this. As long as you've made an effort, you've done all you can. There's no point in continuing to subject yourself to mistreatment.
I'm also of the opinion that people don't have to understand in order to be supportive. If someone can't wrap their mind around me being trans but is overall positive about my life and my transition, I have no issues with that.
\
Yea they are supportive and no matter what i won't leave people behind i'm not that kind of person
but i just don't have a want to try anymore with them.
Actually, "leaving them to it" and not explaining everything over and over worked out well in my favor. Many of them had questions when I came out, and explaining didn't help with understanding for all of them. What happened with those was they they said "I don't get it", but followed it up with well whatever, I respect you and do what you gotta do, I won't understand it so it's probably pointless to try kind-of-thing. The friendships/relationships actually got better in some cases, or stayed the same... which was the best outcome I could have asked for really. I don't enjoy telling people these things. Some of them obviously shoved their confusion aside or else went and looked up the definitions on their own. I rarely get asked about it anymore.
So maybe don't worry about people knowing everything about the process and the condition. What matters is that your friends remain your friends and don't see trans as being some sort of prefix for you or the only thing they can talk about with you. One of the things about life is that you'll never know if anyone truly understands you, nor will you truly understand anyone else and what's in their mind. And that's ok, so long as your interactions are pleasant.
Quote from: Kylo on January 17, 2017, 08:52:30 PM
Actually, "leaving them to it" and not explaining everything over and over worked out well in my favor. Many of them had questions when I came out, and explaining didn't help with understanding for all of them. What happened with those was they they said "I don't get it", but followed it up with well whatever, I respect you and do what you gotta do, I won't understand it so it's probably pointless to try kind-of-thing. The friendships/relationships actually got better in some cases, or stayed the same... which was the best outcome I could have asked for really. I don't enjoy telling people these things. Some of them obviously shoved their confusion aside or else went and looked up the definitions on their own. I rarely get asked about it anymore.
So maybe don't worry about people knowing everything about the process and the condition. What matters is that your friends remain your friends and don't see trans as being some sort of prefix for you or the only thing they can talk about with you. One of the things about life is that you'll never know if anyone truly understands you, nor will you truly understand anyone else and what's in their mind. And that's ok, so long as your interactions are pleasant.
You're correct and you've made a good end point there
i understood that but it clicked and that helped.
I mean because that's what this person did it's oh i understand looked into it a while ago then i transitioned they where okay with it but they still say she even with my voice being deeper. But you're right what matters is at least they've remained my friend.