Though I have been waiting to have my surgery for nearly most of my 50 years of life, it's now less than 3 weeks away and I am starting to feel things for the first time.
For the last 3 weeks, I have been going crazy getting ready for my surgery with endless doctor's appointments, insurance requirements, planning after-care needs and the tons and tons of disability paperwork that I haven't been able to think of anything else.
This morning, after realizing that almost everything is done, I started feeling scared, excited, worried, unsure, happy and sad at the same time. It seems like I am near tears every time I think of my surgery. Is this normal?
Thank you
Katie
Quote from: katie Brennan on January 25, 2017, 08:37:14 AM
This morning, after realizing that almost everything is done, I started feeling scared, excited, worried, unsure, happy and sad at the same time. It seems like I am near tears every time I think of my surgery. Is this normal?
It's very normal, I had my surgery 30 years ago, I remember the experience like it was only yesterday, the lead up to the big day is the worse, as it got closer I got more anxious and nervous, I was full of anxiety, the day of my surgery I was given a sedative just to calm my nerves and relieve the tension, then it was done, finally.
I've never had any regrets, the relief just being complete, the next time I felt anxious and nervous was the lead up to my wedding day 6 years ago, pre wedding nerves, that's normal too, jitters lol, normal for most girls.
Have faith, friend! :icon_wave: My first surgery was FFS that included a brow lift and brow shave + nose job with deviated septum fix. I can tell you on the morning of the surgery, I felt absolutely nothing except the will to go through with it. No fear, no anxiety, almost chest beating bravado. I just wanted to blastoff like a rocket going to the moon. How many people do you know that have had their skull ground down? Well I have!
My second surgery for a trache shave, I was getting prepped near the OR with the IV in my arm thinking "Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?" I was contemplating how much $$$ I would loose if I hopped off the table and ran out. I thought of that procedure as a necessary evil more than anything. Of course I went through with it. I'll throw all the "pain is temporary pride is forever" cliches at that one, as my adam's apple that should never have been there in the first place is nothing but a memory.
Soon, I am scheduled to get a boob job. This time I go in with much excitement. It helps to have everything done by the same surgeon too, so I know I am in good hands (pun intended). Sure with any surgery, there are pains and side effects but generally the results are life changing for the better. Alas, this time go in knowing I may never shoot a 12 gauge shotgun again, when I've shot thousands of shells in my lfetime. :icon_tears: I have to be a lot more cautious of what I do from now on with implants.
Whatever procedure you're having, good luck! :icon_dance:
Well, I am inside my last two weeks before my GCS surgery. Yesterday would have my normal scheduled HRT injection day, but is on hold till after surgery. Tomorrow, I go for my last pre-surg. electroloysis appointment to check for any hair growth. I have my plan tickets and hotel reservation in place. Just a few more things to take care of. Then all I have to do it to wait.
Starting to feel it a little more now.
Great you have everything planned so well. Keep us updated on how everything goes for you.
It is very normal and I am feeling exactlt the same. I have my GRS booked for 24 Feb at SBAH in PTA SA.
Thank you all. Yesterday was my final pre-surgical electrolysis visit. Although I had a two-hour appointment, I only needed about an hour because there was almost no hairs left from 3 weeks ago.
Been looking at the calendar a lot lately, but no matter how many times I look, it doesn't seem to move any quicker.
Congratulations, last minute jitters are normal.
Hi Katie!
Congratulations on your upcoming surgery, hun!!!
Yeah, the jitters are normal, as is the calendar stalling a bit, but watch out, if you are like I was, you will get to about a week out, and time will suddenly speed up, and you will feel like you are being sucked into a whirlpool, and around and round you will go...
It is kinda nice, actually, ha ha!
Best of luck, girl!!
Missy
The final countdown gives me such a strange feeling that's hard to explain. It's kind of a blend of excitement like the final week before a long awaited 14 day Cruise, along with a kind of emotional numbness.
Not this coming Sunday but the next one, will be the day I get on the plane for Scottsdale AZ, so I have one more work-week left till my whole life changes. WOW!! What I thought! This part of the journey, going back to April of 2014 when I was first put on my insurance plans "Transgender tracking" list and started HRT has been such a very long adventure of many joys and disappointments, that it is so strange to believe that it's all coming to, "a new beginning."
Looking back at all the past struggles and obstacles I had to overcome, and remembering all the days I worried, frantically made calls, sent emails upon emails, and filled out what seemed like a billion forms to reach each level of this journey. It's been my whole life for 3 years, and I can't help but to feel a little sense of loss that it's coming to an end. Kind of the "What am I going to do now?" kind of feeling.
Quote from: katie Brennan on February 04, 2017, 08:09:57 AM
Looking back at all the past struggles and obstacles I had to overcome, and remembering all the days I worried, frantically made calls, sent emails upon emails, and filled out what seemed like a billion forms to reach each level of this journey. It's been my whole life for 3 years, and I can't help but to feel a little sense of loss that it's coming to an end. Kind of the "What am I going to do now?" kind of feeling.
Yeah, I remember that feeling, lol, but trust me, there will be PLENTY to do, ha! First comes recovery, which is a journey in itself. oh yes...
Then, mmm, then we take stock of our new optiions, and mhmm, a new,
newer life begins...the one we have truly been awaiting...
Enjoy every step along the way, you are on the most incredible human adventure, ever!
((HUGS))
Missy
Quote from: MissGendered on February 04, 2017, 08:16:46 AM
Yeah, I remember that feeling, lol, but trust me, there will e PLENTY to do, ha! First comes recovery, which is a journey in itself. oh yes...
Then, mmm, then we take stock of our new optiions, and mhmm, a new. newer life begins...the one we have truly been awaiting...
Enjoy every step along the way, you are on the most incredible human adventure, ever!
((HUGS))
Missy
Thank you so much Missy. I really can't wait for my next step towards the rest of my "new" life. :)
Katie
Just got email that my PCP finally ordered my "take home meds" that I will need following my surgery.
One more thing off the list. :)
You picked a good time to come. The weather forecast looks like we are entering early spring weather with highs in the 70 range. A few days after surgery you should be able to venture outside and enjoy it. It has been a mild winter and there hasn't been a frost. Just ask the nurses as you may need to sign out so they know where you are.
Quote from: Dena on February 04, 2017, 09:46:41 AM
You picked a good time to come. The weather forecast looks like we are entering early spring weather with highs in the 70 range. A few days after surgery you should be able to venture outside and enjoy it. It has been a mild winter and there hasn't been a frost. Just ask the nurses as you may need to sign out so they know where you are.
Thanks so much. :)
It's finally starting to hit me now. This morning, I was thinking, as I always have for the last month, about how many days I had left till my GCS on the 14th. Today is Sunday and tomorrow is Monday, which is the first day I can officially say that, "I'm having my surgery next week."
"OMG!!!" At that moment, a thousand butterfly's came rushing out of my belly and tears started forming in my eyes. I didn't end up having a full-out crying moment, but it was close.
I have five work days left and I hope I can concentrate enough to get through the week.
That reminds me. Last Thursday I was in my Electro Office. waiting room, and about 15 minutes before my appointment, I remembered that hadn't picked up any cash for my co-payment and parking. I was on the 3rd floor and the ATM was a block away. What's worse was that I had taken a sedative a half hour before, so to say that I was a little loopy would be an understatement. I got down to the lobby without any problem, however when I got to what I thought was an open glass doors leading outside....Whamo!! Face plant! right into a glass wall, just to the right of the doors. And yes there were people there to witness every moment.
Katie
This morning, I noticed the a few scabs from my last electrolysis treatment that had not yet healed and looked as if they may not be completely be healed by my surgery date next week.
I first thought, maybe I should not say anything to my doctor and hope they would be O.K. by my surg-consult. But then thought it would be better to know now, if my electrolysis injuries were significant enough to postpone my surgery, then it would be on the day before surgery.
So, while crying my eyes out I sent a email with pictures to my surgeon. I hope things turn out, but I am not confident.
Katie
I sent pictures to Dr. Ley, and it turns out it's not as serious as I thought and won't affect my surgery. :)
Everything is on track for my 02/14/17 GCS on Tuesday. :)
I had my surgery on 2/14/17 with Dr. Ley from Dr. Meltzer's office and she was wonderful. Originally I was concerned but everything went perfectly and was told by several of my doctors since I returned home that, she had done an amazing job, one of the best they had seen. I am still very sore, but very happy at the same time.
Katie
Hi Katie,
Congratulations on your new life (belatedly). I hope it is everything you dreamed it could be. Heal fast and enjoy.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 08, 2017, 10:39:57 AM
Hi Katie,
Congratulations on your new life (belatedly). I hope it is everything you dreamed it could be. Heal fast and enjoy.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Thank you so much. Though I am so happy to have finally done it after 50 years of waiting/longing, the full affect hasn't taken place yet. Mostly because all the issues and paperwork involved with maintaining my disability benefits and the 4 a day dilations. It almost seems that as soon as I am finished with one of them, the next one is just around the corner.
Right now I have moved to the 2nd of 4 sizes and will be going to the 3rd next week, I hope. It's a bit painful at first but just feels tight after a few minutes.
Can't wait till I only have to do 2 a day. :)
Katie