Hello all,
I am 50 y.o AMAB (born male or assigned-male-at-birth) and I have been gay and bottom my whole life but there one thing that I am becoming aware in the last (at least) 15 years or more that I would feel comfortable having vagina instead of my male parts but I still want to be a masculine man as I am now. I don't feel the need to transition into a woman at all. I just feel that sexually I am the female counterpart of another masculine man as me. This is so deep in me and so serious, so please, avoid judgments and stupid comments, nobody needs it.
I need to know if there are others guys out there with same feelings...
Thanks!
It makes sense. There are a ton of ways to experience dysphoria. It can be physical, psychological, social, or any combination!
My feelings are a bit similar. I want to be treated as a female, but wish to keep a handful of male features, genitals included. It's just a matter of doing what will make you happy, so having so clear an idea of what you want puts you a step ahead of a lot of us! [emoji4]
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Welcome aboard the Place. I have been queer all my life and felt myself to be girly and female even as I presented male and had boyfriends. Back in the 80s I saw a therapist who suggested I was simply a gay, bottom male in denial and dismissed my feelings of not being a man at all. He was also a gay man and back then transgender was not up on many radars. I would rather have a vagina too but wishes won't flip that switch without a lot more work and I am not yet there.
I consider you the best judge of who you are and what you need. Masculine traits or behaviors are not exclusive to men while feminine traits and behaviors are not exclusively female either. Non binary or Enby (a term I saw recently) acknowledges the vast spectrum of gender identities in real life. What does masculine mean to you? How do you express that feeling while keeping your clothes on?
I urge you to not let those two labels box you in. There are transgender men with vaginas and transgender women with a penis but anatomy is still not destiny. Transition can be social, medical, surgical, limited and rather private too as some people will never come out. You owe no one an explanation as you explore what works for you. Have fun.
I believe I'm binary, but I've spent a lot of time thinking about doing exactly the same thing. I'm trying to avoid transitioning, but its a real struggle and I've thought having SRS might help.
In my opinion do whatever you want, life's too short for regrets.
It can be tricky to arrange, but its definitely possible. I've come across a number of people who've done it.
Here's a couple of links that you might find interesting.
Orchiectomy or Vaginoplasty for non-transitioning people
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,214355.msg1906385.html#msg1906385
Should someone be allowed SRS who is not planning to present as a female?
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,173875.0.html
I'm the same way in reverse. I am non-binary afab and I want to have a penis, but I don't want to transition to male as my primary way of living. I started the talk with my therapist today, but it will probably be the primary topic of my next session in two weeks.
Hi! I know exactly how you feel, and it's totally a thing - you're not the only one!
I'm a non-binary person presenting male but feeling strongly I should have a vagina instead. I've gone through a lot of soul-searching to get here, and I'm now quite comfortable where I am. And the good news is that if it's something you really want to achieve, and are willing to go through the motions, it's possible to do! I'm booked for SRS at the end of the year, and I'm excited as heck!
One thing I have found is that estrogen really helped me in unexpected ways. I started out just wanting the bottom surgery, but on progynova and spiractin I found my mental state was really improved. It's worth trying, at least, just to see if it helps you. You may find (like I did) that the current runs deeper than expected. I'm now at least tickling the idea of a more involved transition, even though I'm still happy presenting (and often feeling) male. It's a complicated beast.
I'd love to talk to you about it more and share notes! :)
Welcome to Susan's Place maschilepassivo. I am approaching 2 years on the site and in that time I have encountered around half a dozen people who expressed the desire that you have. Yes it is possible but it's a bit difficult. You will need to follow the same procedure that we do and have therapist sign off on the procedure and your choice of surgeons may be very limited. Unfortunately it's not likely you will be able to talk with others like yourself here as after the initial inquiry they tend not to stay around very long.
Should somebody treat you improperly on this site, hit the report to moderator button on the right of the post. That will start a report and a moderator will look into it and take any action that is required. As it appears you haven't received the greeting links yet, I am providing a copy. The TOS applies to all site members so you are entitled to the same protection as any of the other members.
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Its pretty rad masschilepassivo,
Glad you have found the piece of you that could change. I think thats pretty stellar and definitly not unheard of. would you still use he him pronouns? the beauty of the NB catchall is it makes space for anything. So welcome to the NB fold sounds like you already are one of the crew
I think you pretty much just described me and it's so reassuring to realise, as Kellb says, that it's a thing.
I found that low dose estrogen and progesterone helped me as well and welcome sharing notes with anyone who can help me understand how this is supposed to pan out! :)
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