I hate to do this, but I'm just feeling really stuck and can't seem to find much support.
I'm 24, MtF, pre-everything. I have severe depression, some anxiety, and dysphoria out the wazoo. I was on anti-depressants for a while but had a severe relapse about a year ago. I'm a two-time college drop out, am not employed, and I'm living with my parents. I've come out to just about everyone I know because hiding it was eating me up inside. My parents have not kicked me out, but they have definitively said that they will not support me in my transition. My siblings avoid me at all costs. And, to just put a cherry on top of everything, I'm also experiencing hair loss which is devastating.
I have a strong network of support from friends, but there's not much they can do to help. I have yet to find a good therapist. I've been riding this depression spiral pretty hardcore for months on end and I just can't seem to find a way out of it. I am under constant stress from my various psychoses and my family and I feel like any step I make will add just enough stress that I will completely break down. I know that I have to do something but I can't figure out what the first step should be or if I can even do it.
So, is there hope for me?
(Thank you for putting up with my sob story :angel:)
Not a sob story. You just need love, compassion, help nd guidence :)! I am very sorry you are having to deal with all this. Doesnt sound fun at all :/. If it helps i have gone trough some similar stuff and feel free to private message me!. I think in addition to finding a good gender therapist you should also seek out another therapists for your other stuff. Coming out as a woman, as yourself, will be very great and fulfilling. However, if you wana make your gender journey even better and easier, for your own peace of mind you must also seek help with those things in conjunction with you gender stuff. I speak from some kindof experience!
As for your family i am not sure what to say. I havent been disowned by anyone (that i am aware of) but i have had some people trying to ''take me under their wing''. By that i mean try to fill your head full of doubt and convince you that you are unworthy of transition all with the fake ''love'' and arm chair style wana be therapist approach. I would say if your family is being petty as such avoid them, but ya cant at the moment due to no job. As said good counselling would fix that! depending where ya live you can even get FREE counceling :)! You in Canada by chance?
-Ashley
One of the best things I have discovered is that my city, Seattle, has the Ingersoll Gender Center. We meet weekly, significant others are welcome. We discuss many issues germane to being transgender. It is a great way to network. I am still new at it myself, but enjoy the company of people just like me. It beats being the socially inept introvert I was before.
Jeanette,
Your concerns are mountainous. You must not try to navigate through this on your own. Most communities have in place a network of social services that may provide some assistance to you or are able to direct you to individuals or organizations that exist to help individuals such as yourself. Do some research. Find out what help is available to you. Use the resources that are available. All the best to you. Be strong. Be safe.
If your parents can't be talked into supporting you, my suggestion would be find a job, connect with a therapist and start on HRT. Suppressing your testosterone levels combined with therapy will allow you to get your life in order enough that you can move on to the the next step what ever it is. Depression is difficult to deal with and unfortunately normal medications may not work very well with the type of depression you are dealing with.
Once the depression is reduced, you will have to put all your effort into your transition. If it means finishing school first, do it. If it means becoming independent of your family, do it. You will have many problems to overcome and you will just need to deal with them one at a time.
Hey <3
Don't feel bad for getting this off your chest, you've come to the right place if what you need is to vent and seek advice from some amazing and very wise people. My first 'box to check' is always a therapist with experience dealing with transgender issues, just because of how much it helped me. I think Dena and the others gave you some great advice, I suggest you seriously consider what they have said. Take things one step of the time, but this is going to require you to be strong and do quite a bit of work for yourself.
Google is your friend! Use it to search for therapists and support groups in your area. I'm also glad to hear your friends have your back, just having them around for socializing and support during your journey is going to be a great help. So sorry about your family situation, I can and will never understand how a parent can push their child away like that..
From a fellow two-time college dropout who managed to find a job and support her transition, best of luck to you! There are surprisingly many good people out there who will offer you great support if you find them and ask for it, I wish you all the best on your beginning journey. Do not be afraid to come here at any time for advice and support, and do not hesitate to ask if there is something you think this Norwegian lady can do for you.
<3