Well, last night marked a huge milestone. For the first time after almost 20 1/2 years of marriage, she met me for the first time last night for a short period of time. She has known about me since last summer but she helped me with makeup and asked me to put on my wig. When she saw "her" for the first time, she broke down and cried. We both did. She said, "I can see "her" now." She has never been able to picture me being anything but male as I have taken on the traditional role, coach, military, manly hobbies, etc. She said my whole demeanor changed completely to feminine. I am not sure how much I will be out with her, but the first step has been taken and regardless, that genie can not be put back in the bottle!
Oh, and she said I looked more like a Kate, not Paula. Paula was a name I took because I was told at a very young age that had I been assigned female at birth, my name would have been Paula. It may soon change to Kate...
Big step there! For what it's worth, the first person I came out to said "You don't look like a Tracey, it doesn't suit you." The next day she suggested that I use Devlyn. It's been my name ever since then, now it's my legal name.
Hugs, Devlyn
It's funny...my wife was texting with her sister telling her about last night (her sister is the only other person besides my therapist and wife who know). They were discussing names and she laughingly said, don't you love it how we are taking over your life...LOL. I thought it was cute!
Hi Paula er Kate aaaa Paula,
So glad you have taken this step. The tension was thick for both of you, but the cry probably helped break that. I have only transitioned in front of others, I have never experienced seeing someone else changing before my eyes. I only imagine it would get easier as time goes on.
Moni
Hey Kate or Paula,
Just wanted to say that I think it's great how your wife has come around to seeing Paula as you say.
I also say it is good that she and her sister are taking an active part now in helping you become who you need to be.
Why a name is chosen is ultimately that it means something to you even if it is just that you happen to like it. Having someone that means a lot to you suggest one is IMO one of the best ways to be named.
In my case Jeanette was a high school crush. She was cute and wore braces, not a beauty but I really liked her. I also like Diane but for now it's Jeanette. Tomorrow I may be someone else.
Anyway congrats to you and your wife. Another step taken on that road we trod to happy destiny.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Count your blessings and your lucky stars. Your wife is something special. Treat her well.
I very much like your post, thanks.
- Dee Dee
That is such a sweet story, definitely worth a happy tear or two. Your wife is an angel!
That is so wonderful! I am so happy for you. It's especially sweet that she helped you with the transformation. Keep working together, it will strengthen your relationship.
As to your name, I encourage you to go inside and ask your feminine self what her name is. We can try on names, but I have found through both personal experience (including naming characters in fiction) and in persona role-playing, that when we find the right name for the inner person -- it resonates... and suddenly we know it is the right one. I have had times where I had to "test-drive" one for quite some time before I realized it wasn't quite the right fit. But, when I then found the right one, I knew it. Go with what feels right to you.
Hugs,
Jackie