Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Hormone replacement therapy => Topic started by: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 05:14:25 AM

Title: 5 days left :(
Post by: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 05:14:25 AM
10 pills remaining. 5 days left until they run out  :(
I could take less to make them last longer, but I hear that has the opposite effect over this short time span and my mental stability would drop sooner.

I started with one box for three months. And then, the second box lasted a mere 1.5 months, but actually started having an effect. I don't know if the first box was defective or more pills is more magical, but that seems to be a thing o.o

I was kind of burning that stupid thing which never stops annoying me for a few months, but lost the desire to do so and am a lot more mentally stable. Fun. Watch as I come here in a week or two screaming and howling like a lunatic, I mean it could happen o.o

Why am I making so many posts? I'm urmm.. panicking. I just can't shut-up when I'm this nervous. I'm grasping at straws. And my psychologist's ignoring me now, bleh. Not that she has ever helped. My pills are running out... running out... running out...

If I burn that thing, then maybe it'll delay the estrogen leaving the system, mm.
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: StillAnonymous on February 17, 2017, 07:49:27 AM
Why aren't you getting a refill?
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 09:07:35 AM
I went behind her back to get these pills, I can't get more that easily.
It's hard to read psychologists, but I don't think she believes I have this condition.
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: LizK on February 17, 2017, 03:42:46 PM
Quote from: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 09:07:35 AM
I went behind her back to get these pills, I can't get more that easily.
It's hard to read psychologists, but I don't think she believes I have this condition.

Not really for her to decide...you know if you are trans...why would she think you are not Trans?
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 07:28:35 PM
If she doesn't decide, then I won't be getting any-more pills.
Who knows, maybe she expects me to wear a dress in public, although the number of times I've left this building in the past couple of months can be counted on one hand.

Or maybe, she's going through a big checklist.
Who knows what she's thinking, psychologists like playing their little mind games.

It's hard enough reading someone who knows everything about the human mind in person, let alone from a distance. And to be honest, I think she actually looks down on the therapists who agree with everything you say as incompetent.
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Janes Groove on February 17, 2017, 11:13:21 PM
is a licensed medical professional monitoring your HRT regime?
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Xirafel on February 18, 2017, 12:24:06 AM
Quote from: Jane Emily on February 17, 2017, 11:13:21 PM
is a licensed medical professional monitoring your HRT regime?
My psychologist won't let me do that. I had to do lots of research to hopefully reduce the chances of me collapsing and dying one day. But, the results are worth it o.o
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Xirafel on February 18, 2017, 05:39:51 AM
There was one teeny thing I remember, but I doubt it's anything important.
One time when I talked to the psychologist, she threw a giant list of books at me and told me to read them. Presumably, they prove her right or something.

They had various titles along the lines of brain-sex and FTM.
Unfortunately, I'm not made of money, so I can't do that. Psychologists have all the money in the world to buy this stuff.
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Dena on February 18, 2017, 10:24:42 AM
Public libraries often have those books and if they don't, ask at the desk. It's possible the book is somewhere in the system at another library and you can request it.
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Xirafel on February 18, 2017, 07:19:33 PM
I was about to have a heart attack. Okay, calm down, Alyss.

I don't have a library subscription and that would be super suspicious o.o
Hungry again, these pills always make me hungry, I think the food's going to the breasts.
Title: Re: 5 days left :(
Post by: Dena on February 18, 2017, 07:28:52 PM
I am not sure how it works where you are but in the United States, public libraries don't charge you unless you don't return a book or the book is damaged. They tend to operate off tax dollars and donations with the idea that learning should be available to everybody. If you are uncomfortable checking the book out, you can either read it in the library or say you are a medical student (which wouldn't be far from the truth).