Well the big day has arrived. Leaving for Philly in just a few minutes.
Pre-op appt w/ Dr. Rumer tomorrow and surgery is Wednesday morning.
So much going on right now. Relief, anxiety, joy, happiness, elation, some fear but not much (just of the post-surgery pain).
Breast augmentation AND gender reassignment surgery. I'm gonna be a sore little cookie for a bit, but I've got this.
Been waiting most of my life for this. [emoji5]
OMG THAT IS AWESOME <3
Great you are at this point in your life, good luck, and keep us updated on how you are doing. You have wanted this for so long.
That's terrific! I'm very happy for you, Audrey. Please keep us posted. I have a consultation with Rumer coming up in April, and I want details of your experience, girl!
With kindness,
Terri
congratulations and good luck.
The wait is finally over, i'm so happy for you :)
Congratulations. I hope it all goes well for you and wishing you a speedy recovery.
Hooray for you! I'm very happy to hear it. Hugs
thank you everyone.
Quote from: Maybebaby56 on February 20, 2017, 05:59:46 PM
That's terrific! I'm very happy for you, Audrey. Please keep us posted. I have a consultation with Rumer coming up in April, and I want details of your experience, girl!
With kindness,
Terri
you got it girl! [emoji3]
I had my consultation in Dec of 2015. She's been wonderful to work with so far and her staff has been as well.
Congratulations and the best of luck.
hospital just called. Gotta be there at 6 am.
My therapist called a little while ago. We had a good discussion, then one of my very good friends for over 20 years called and wished me luck.
Been a good day. These bowel prep meds suck and are making me nauseous and not feel good though.
Today's the day! :o
I definitely can't tell you how you're going to feel afterwards but omg that's so exciting! It must be like waking up from a dream. Tell us how it goes!
thank you Audrey94!
Like Phil Collins sang...I've been waiting for moment, nearly all of my life...oh yeah!
So happy for you, hope everything goes well ❤
out of surgery since noon, but now fully coherent since about 8 pm. I have a solid dull constant ache for my pain downstairs, very uncomfortable but otherwise I am ok and in good spirits. upstairs pain hurts less than the downstairs.
Woke up and looked down and saw my boobs and I was overjoyed. [emoji16]
My mental and emotional health are very good. I didnt wake up and think, oh hell what did I just do. Instead it was the opposite. It was like thank goodness. Some of the joy is dampened by the physical pain but it will get better.
I feel so many years of anger, hurt and confusion fading away and that makes me happy.
I am so happy for you. I'm glad the surgery went well. I wish you a speedy recovery so that you can start enjoying your new life.
Jessie
Rough first night last night.
The pain meds aren't really taking the edge off my pain, but I can sleep. It's not a sharp, piercing pain, but it is a dull constant pain...like sitting on a pointy rock.
I feel a sense of peace descending upon me like I have never felt before. I am finally me, the girl I was supposed to be all along in life.
I know there's things I can never change (DNA, chromosomes, genetics, my height, my feet and hand size, my broad shoulders...but its not about that. It never was.) It's about matching my body to my mind
Back to last night, my nurse was the single worst nurse I have ever had in my life. Inconsiderate, bringing me things I didnt ask for and did not need, very inattentive and didnt listen at all. On top of all that she made a major sanitation and sterility violation. She used her bare hands to empty my drains down in my pubic area, that drain the excess blood from the vaginal canal. Didn't wear gloves and she just laughed when I brought it to her attention. That <person> will NOT be back tonight, I've made that absolutely clear and am waiting to speak with her supervisor now.
She claims she washed her hands but I didnt see her do that or hear any running water. All it takes is touching those drains for germs and contamination to spread into the nozzle and get in my bloodstream and I could get sick really bad and die. [emoji35]
I hope today is better and tonight too because it's been a little rough to say the least. Despite this, I'm still in good spirits and being positive.
Moderation edit: Language
Audrey, I'm excited for you. I'm always worried for everyone before surgeries.
Please stand your ground on that nurse. My guess is she's got some phobias. She's in the wrong job.
Keep us updated.
- Denise
Waiting on the nurse supervisor. I'm royally pissed that any nurse could or would be so reckless.
good thing is, she is not back tonight. thankfully. I spoke with the supervisor and she was not happy at all. this nurse has 40 years of experience and should know better.
Finally found out why the pains meds werent taking the edge off, Dr. Rumer has me on morphine which doesnt work on me at all. ugh.
I was able to get one dosage of dilaudid and that helped tremendously.
Later today, I get moved to Dr. Rumer's recovery facility.
I'll be off morphine and onto percoset. Drains, packing and catheter will all come out next Wednesday. I am looking forward to that.
Then if everything looks good, I get to go home next Friday.
I've seen my lower results and it looks fantastic. cant wait for bruising and swelling to go down and color to return to normal.
things are looking up.
:icon_eek: Ineffective pain meds? Gosh that sounds painful! I hope the percocet works well! Glad you got the nurse switched and the results you wanted!
It is good of you to continue to update us. (I must confess that when I don't feel well, writing is about the last I want to do.) Hopefully you will soon turn the corner on the pain path, and you begin to feel and be the new you. All the best, Audrey.
Audrey, congratulations on completing your surgery! That's a huge step and I'm glad you got onto pain meds that are helping :-)
On sterile technique, hand washing is appropriate prep for managing surgical drains microbes do not travel along clean plastic surfaces or dry surfaces of any kind --from a nursing education and procedure site:
QuoteApply non-sterile gloves and face shield according to agency policy.
{Rationale/explanation}
Personal protective equipment reduces the potential for accidental exposure to blood or body fluids.
Note: gloves if used wouldn't be sterile and would only be used to protect the nurse from blood borne pathogens.
I'm not saying this to in any way chastise your take, rather i don't think it's advisable to setup wrong expectations for others reading this thread.
I can fully sympathize with difficult experience of post surgical night nursing staff, my own experiences have been that the graveyard shift staff have been a good bit less easy to deal with than day/evening staff but then my sample size isn't large and I'm hoping for my own GCS (2 months away!!) to validate the null hypothesis.
So happy for you!
May you heal swiftly!
Quote from: Audrey94 on February 24, 2017, 02:22:49 AM
:icon_eek: Ineffective pain meds? Gosh that sounds painful! I hope the percocet works well! Glad you got the nurse switched and the results you wanted!
It wasnt unmanageable, just uncomfortable. Pain was dull, constant ache at about a 5.5 to 6 level. Wasnt piercing or sharp and I wasnt in agony.
She should have me on dilaudid instead of morphine. either way, I'm off the iv pain meds and on percoset now. I've been well tended to and very well cared for.
Top notch care, waited on hand and foot and received only the best (w/ exception to the morphine). Really my only complaint so I think I'm doing pretty good here. [emoji16]
Quote from: SadieBlake on February 24, 2017, 09:53:18 AM
Audrey, congratulations on completing your surgery! That's a huge step and I'm glad you got onto pain meds that are helping :-)
i dont need your patronization. What she did was unsanitary and violated sterility guidelines at the hospital and her supervisor even told me so. so please save me your medical lectures as I dont need them.
Quote from: georgie on February 24, 2017, 11:26:56 AM
So happy for you!
May you heal swiftly!
thank you
Quote from: Katy on February 24, 2017, 03:02:40 AM
It is good of you to continue to update us. (I must confess that when I don't feel well, writing is about the last I want to do.) Hopefully you will soon turn the corner on the pain path, and you begin to feel and be the new you. All the best, Audrey.
thanks. It's been a long journey, but I'm very happy right now. The hard part is the recovery time, and then I am on with life. [emoji3]
Quote from: audreytn on February 24, 2017, 01:03:21 AM
good thing is, she is not back tonight. thankfully. I spoke with the supervisor and she was not happy at all. this nurse has 40 years of experience and should know better.
Finally found out why the pains meds werent taking the edge off, Dr. Rumer has me on morphine which doesnt work on me at all. ugh.
I was able to get one dosage of dilaudid and that helped tremendously.
Later today, I get moved to Dr. Rumer's recovery facility.
I'll be off morphine and onto percoset. Drains, packing and catheter will all come out next Wednesday. I am looking forward to that.
Then if everything looks good, I get to go home next Friday.
I've seen my lower results and it looks fantastic. cant wait for bruising and swelling to go down and color to return to normal.
things are looking up.
Audrey,
Thanks so much for taking the time to post this information. I really wanted to know what the post-operative care was like. I suffered tremendously after FFS, and I am determined not to let that happen again.
Blessings to you for a speedy recovery!
Terri
Congratulations :)
I am very interested in knowing the pain of the BA verses the pain of the GCS. I had GCS and will be having a BA this summer.
Quote from: Rachel Lynn on February 25, 2017, 05:03:17 PM
Congratulations :)
I am very interested in knowing the pain of the BA verses the pain of the GCS. I had GCS and will be having a BA this summer.
thank you.
so far everything I have been told was that the BA would hurt worse than the GRS.
That hasnt been the case in my situation.
But the upper is a somewhat stingy, sharp pain around the incision areas mainly, I dont really have pain anywhere else. That may be different from others experiences.
Quote from: Maybebaby56 on February 25, 2017, 03:10:09 PM
Audrey,
Thanks so much for taking the time to post this information. I really wanted to know what the post-operative care was like. I suffered tremendously after FFS, and I am determined not to let that happen again.
Blessings to you for a speedy recovery!
Terri
I've been pretty much on my own with exception to my friend/caretaker who came with me to help out.
The nurses and surgeon wanted me to get comfortable with emptying my drains and catheter.
they do all the removing and replacing of packings every couple days.
they dont want me up too much, but I started with two walks friday just in my room and saturday around the room and to the kitchen and back.
Sleeping flat on your back is horrible after GRS. there's no other position to get comfy in. You just lay there till you pass out from exhaustion. This bed hurts my back, not much I can do for it.
The worst part is the cavity where the packings are...it feels like its coming apart when i try to get up or sit down. I cant wait till that pain subsides. wooooooeee, talk about rough! It's right there between your front pubic area and your tailbone. that pain there dictates when and how much you walk. I still get light-headed every time I get up.. cheap high though. <giggles>
You wont shower for 7 days, but they gave me a medical scrub and my helper rubbed down my legs, tummy, arm pits and arms, hands and feet so I didnt stink like a rotting fish in the sun.
Whatever you do, tell your surgeon BEFORE hand you NEED dilaudid instead of morphine. Morphine took none of the edge off for me. Dilaudid which I did get twice and it helped tremendously.
Quote from: audreytn on February 25, 2017, 07:53:38 PM
Sleeping flat on your back is horrible after GRS. there's no other position to get comfy in. You just lay there till you pass out from exhaustion. This bed hurts my back, not much I can do for it.
You might be able to lay on your side with a pillow between your legs. As you had a BA, you may need to put a pillow behind your back and lean into it.
Quote from: Dena on February 25, 2017, 08:26:21 PM
You might be able to lay on your side with a pillow between your legs. As you had a BA, you may need to put a pillow behind your back and lean into it.
not enough pillows in here
Request some. Normally hotels have some extra. If you are in a recovery center, they will have extras. Often there is somebody you could give a few dollars and they will buy some.
Quote from: Dena on February 25, 2017, 08:55:53 PM
Request some. Normally hotels have some extra. If you are in a recovery center, they will have extras. Often there is somebody you could give a few dollars and they will buy some.
no one here until Monday. all the others are locked in storage cabinets.
I dont ever remember feeling so loved. On Thursday the day after my surgery, I had friends calling, friends texting, friends sending me emails, and I had a visitor, another guy from work sent me flowers, people fb msging me and DMing me on twitter. I had another visitor on Saturday that is a friend.
My family has had nothing to do with me. Parents wont answer or return emails. [emoji20]
My Uncle is talking with me and is supportive and kind. He's pretty much the only one in the family who communicates with me.
But despite the family not speaking with me, I have a family of friends back home and I love them all. They are an amazing supoort system. So thankful and grateful to have them in my life.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170227/17cc749e4ef390ea4fdc458c4ae83057.jpg)
After a good weekend, Monday was pretty tough.
I had my first bowel movement since surgery and it didnt go well at all.
I felt it coming on and was highly motivated to get up and get to the toilet, but once got in the bathroom, i couldnt get my depends off and my muscles contracted from trying to hold it and all I can say is it was so painful and I dirtied the diaper.
The pain was so bad I cried. Finally got the stupid diaper off and sat on the toilet for 15 minutes till I was clear. The pain subsided and my helper had to clean me up. It wasnt pretty, but this is part of why you take someone with you.
With the catheters and drains and packing in, its difficult to see down there and if you had a breast augmentation too...well forget about reaching down there.
In the end we got through it, but rough day. The nurses came up to check on me and ensure I didnt tear anything, which thankfully I didnt but I was so scared that I did.
Bring hemmorhoid cream (relieves an irritated outer anus and baby powder or look for something called Anti-Lady Monkey Butt...it prevents rashes and irritation down there (do NOT get it on your surgical areas though).
Today was much better. Had two bowel movements and made the toilet both times. I'll be getting my cather, drains and packing out Wednesday morning at 10:30.
There is 5' worth of packing jammed up inside me and when you sit down, it feels like you're sitting on a baseball sized plastic spinning top with the pointed side up and its all jammed up inside you. I'll be so glad to get all that out of me.
Afterwards I can shower finally! Woot!
Thursday is the last night we will spend here. Leaving Dr. Rumers about 3:30 am for the airport on Friday morning. Our flight heads back to Denver at 6 am.
This girl is ready to be home in her own bed.
So far nurses have checked on me once a day every day and inspected my surgery area, except for Sat and Sun and the office is closed those days.
A very good, positive experience here and very positive, quiet and uplifting atmosphere.
So far have had no issues worth mentioning with Dr. Rumer, her staff or the facilities. I have received excellent care and I feel as though I was taken care of wonderfully.
It sounds like you are making good recovery progress. I'm sure when it is over you will look back on your experience and say it was all well worth it. Congratulations.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Today has been a whirlwind. Mainly not dependent on my pain meds anymore. Havent really taken anything today except my anti-biotics. Not really in much pain. Just soreness and stiffness.
I got my drains, cathether, stitches and packings out.
Then I was shown how to do my dilations. Afterwards, I was blessedly allowed a nice hot shower to let the water and soap just run down my body but not to scrub or wash any of my surgical areas.
I've done two dilations today. One more coming up at 5 pm. Not painful, but more uncomfortable.
these are my dilators. They help keep things from caving in on top of themselves.
There are skin grafts on the inside that makeup the inside of my vagina and so its living tissue that tries to heal itself from the inside out. So thats why we dilate.
I'm using the blue for 10 minutes then the green for 10 minutes, 4 times a day and going till the 3rd dot disappears. This is what they directed me do
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170301/2f806e160bd8cc64924db58258816882.jpg)
I'll receive instructions about my breast implants tomorrow and the rest of the maintenance/healing process.
Just about 36 hours till I am headed home and I'm looking forward to that.
Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 01, 2017, 12:40:28 PM
It sounds like you are making good recovery progress. I'm sure when it is over you will look back on your experience and say it was all well worth it. Congratulations.
Hugs,
Jeanette
so far so good!
I made it home this morning. I've been resting and dilating, and making sure to eat good food and stay hydrated.
I got the all clear to go home yesterday and the final instructions for my breast implants.
What a whirlwind that it's been. The first 7 days flew by so fast, and then the last 5 days seemed to drag on and on.
My helper and I are both glad to be home though. We were terribly homesick.
I've received so much love and support from my family of super awesome friends.
Nothing from my family, but I cant make them. They have to want to that for themselves. I hope in time they will come around.
But I am so grateful for those I do have in my life. They are super amazing people and I feel so loved right now. [emoji7]❤️
The past 12 days have been very challenging for me. Lots of soreness.
Dilation is my life right now, 4 times a day, every 4 hours. Seems like that's all I do, lol.
But worse for me is my internal hemmorhoids flared up due to dehydration, lack of activity, and the pain meds when I need them. This week has been the hardest. I'm scheduled to go have a rubber band ligation on Tuesday to take care of them. Sat on the toilet and cried for 30 minutes after having a bowel movement monday night. Have never felt so much searing pain in one instant that lasted for so long like that.
Went to the ER and they couldnt do a single thing for me.
Psychologically this and the soreness has beaten me down a bit. I've been a bit emotional and got a little down the past few days.
I was able to get out Monday morning before all this happened and update my gender marker with the SSA and get my new birth certificate with the female gender. But driving my car was brutal because my bottom is sore from surgery AND hemmorhoids.
Did get to go see my therapist on Tuesday which that helped.
Doctors placed me on a soft/liquid diet and I can have a bowel movement without being in brutal level 9.5/10 pain, so thats a relief.
jello, chx noodle soup, rainbow sherbert, peas, applesauce, scrambled eggs, oatmeal and pear cupsare about all I'm eating right now. It sucks. I want real food and I cant have it till next week.
I'm definitely over the recovery aspect of this surgery. I'm ready to get back to normal day to day life.
Yesterday was a bit better, I got out and went for a walk with my friend who has been coming by in the afternoons.
Today is so so, I'm alone. My friend is sick and my other friend has to pick his daughter up after work and so he cant come over, so I'm trying to make it through. Going to go for another walk here in a bit.
This is by far the most difficult thing I've endured during my entire transition/surgery process and I am looking forward to better days and hopefully sooner rather than later.
Things seem to be healing nicely and as they should.
Remarkable turn around between last Monday/Tuesday and this past Saturday.
Didnt walk Thursday or Friday as planned, I was just really tired. So I watched tv and movies all day.
Got out and walked Saturday afternoon and went several blocks with no soreness or pain or fatigue.
Sunday morning I walked almost a mile and a half round trip and I felt great!
I've been taking dolculax and docusate since last Tuesday. It keeps my bowel movements soft. I got real hungry for real food Sunday afternoon so I decided to try some chinese. Combination fried rice. It worked thankfully.
Monday I did another walk for a mile roundtrip with my friend. We went and got a frosty from Wendys.
Tuesday morning I got into to see the surgeon, he took a look inside and said while I have hemmorhoids, they're too irritated for rubber band ligation right now and that I really dont need to be opened up to remove these because he said I'd hurt like hell afterwards. Said all I really needed was diet modification (add in fiber, drink more water, and if needed, throw in some metamucil) and to not strain/push while having a bowel movement. So I took his advice and went to the store, bought more dulcolax, some groceries and went home.
He said I could eat real food again, just add more fiber. So my friend and I went out to dinner and I had real food and it was good. had one beer with dinner too, but several glasses of water to offset and stay hydrated.
Wednesday I relaxed. I've been really frustrated with not being able to sit down and pee right and I emailed Dr. Rumers nurse. She had had me standing up in the shower to pee since I got home and thats what I've been doing. But today she said I need to start making the attempt to sit down and pee. Dilated and then around 5:20 I went for a long walk. I did 20 blocks in 43 minutes.
I let my bladder get as full as I could stand and then finally, I knew I had to go try and sit down and pee. So I went and sat on the toilet a little while ago and peed for the very first time since before surgery without making a huuuuuge mess! [emoji3]
There was some spraying on the back of my right thigh but it was all contained to staying inside the bowl.
Need some refinement and practice, but I think I can do this!
Now granted it took me about 5-7 minutes to empty my bladder, but I did it.
Notes: Something is restricted when I sit. I did a lot of starting and stopping. Didnt strain hard though to restart. I'd pee for a few seconds and then it would just taper off.
Just had to concentrate when it stopped to get going again naturally. Dont have as much of this problem as when I stand in the shower to pee. So it seems like it is somewhat mechanical in nature (if that makes any sense).
But these are huge turning points in my recovery and so close together! Gosh this makes me feel so much better mentally and psychologically.
Gonna have to take sterile gloves and wet wipes with me for a while till I get things down, but there is hope! I dont have to take a damn shower just to pee anymore.
So many doors back into my daily normal routine just opened up.
Better days ahead! Future is looking bright and that makes me feel good.
I've got the sitting to pee thing down perfect. Passing bowel movements is no longer painful.
I am able to drive my car and sit in the seat without pain.
I can walk without pain or soreness.
Dilating is now down to 3x per day, much to my relief. 4 times a day was exhausting and time consuming. Didnt have much time to do things in between sessions. Now that I'm at 3x per day, I dilate at 9 am, 3 pm and 9 pm. Very easy and I can get out and do errands and go for a walk and whatever else I need to do.
I am now also out of my diapers. I can wear panties with a long, thin maxipad and not leak through, so thats a big relief! No more chafing in the area between my legs and pelvis, no more sores from the diaper rubbing on my leg. It's nice to wear panties again!!!!
My mental state is great. My attitude is very positive and I'm staying busy.
I'm very excited about my results, and I accidentally bumped my clit while applying some lube to my vagina the other day and I about shot up in the air 3' while laying on my back, lol. Also almost had a vaginal orgasm from the dilator. Things were a bit tight with the big one and so I had to push it in and pull it out a couple times and I darn near came...all I can say is wow. holy cow this thing is gonna be a lot of fun when its all healed and settled. [emoji15]
My big issue right now is I get tired so easily. I dont have all of my strength back yet. I want to do so much more and I know I just cant yet. This is the part that frustrates me the most. So I continue to take it easy and do what I can while following all my restrictions (no lifting more than 5 lbs and no strenuous activities).
But at least I can start taking some road trips now.
I am glad you are doing well and feeling better.
You showed #1,2 and 3 dilator in your pic form Soul Source. Soul Source sells a #4 dilator, it is orange. If you want a larger dilator. it is 1.5 inches diameter.
Quote from: Rachel Lynn on April 02, 2017, 12:22:28 PM
I am glad you are doing well and feeling better.
You showed #1,2 and 3 dilator in your pic form Soul Source. Soul Source sells a #4 dilator, it is orange. If you want a larger dilator. it is 1.5 inches diameter.
thank you. I can barely get the green one in as it is. that orange one would rip me right open.
I had my 6 week follow up Monday. Sent pics over via email, and we did a skype appt.
I was feeling really good and smiling happy. She said everything looked normal and was healing nicely. I am now off lifting and activity restrictions. I can return to all normal activities at my discretion. Work if I choose, but I'm not quite ready for that and still have almost 2 months till I have to be back at work. But I can go back earlier if I feel like it.
Rest of the week was good, except for one thing. I've been hoping to avoid it, but apparently I couldnt. I've had tightness getting my big green dilator in along with mild burning, so it appears I have granulations deep inside the vagina. sigh. [emoji19]
So I dont feel very good right now, they have me dilating with the blue one for 25 minutes, I cant even get the green in.
Trying to get in to see the gynecologist on Monday or Tuesday to get silver nitrate applied to them. [emoji20]
Gonna be a long weekend. Not super bad, pain level 2-3 and burning sensation. [emoji53]
audreytn, if you think you have granulation spot you need to see a GYN and get them taken care of, any GYN can do the treatment.
So the past weekend and this week have presented new challenges and setbacks.
I went out to support group meeting Saturday. Before I left everything was normal. was gone 4 hours, group meeting and then dinner, came home and got ready to dilate and my right labia was swollen up to three times its normal size.
I immediately called Dr. Rumers office and got the after hours switchboard. She relayed the message and 5 minutes later I had a call. The nurse asked me to email pics which I did. One of my sutures was inflammed and possibly infected. I think I may have irritated it by crossing my legs while at group and didnt realize it could affect my surgery area like that.
Was advised to take 800 mg ibuprofen 3x daily, and apply triple anti-biotic ointment.
Was also placed back on full restrictions and no lifting till Friday afternoon. ugh. (can go to the doc, grocery store and thats it, nowhere else) and put on mandatory bed rest. No walking for exercise, no getting out and about.
The swelling has gone down about halfway. Had an appt with the gynecologist but no granulations were found. Lower right side in the vagina is noticeably irritated but nothing else, everything looks to be healing fine. Dilating with the green continues to cause minor pain and burning on the lower right side. But I am getting 3 dots of depth on both dilators. Was usually at 2.5 for blue and lucky to get 2 on the green.
Went home after grabbing some necessities from the grocery store and have been in bed ever since, except to use bathroom, shower and make food.
I am extremely bored. I cant even sit at my computer. They want NO pressure at all on my surgery area, not even sitting on a cushion in a chair and my laptop has gone kaput.
Hoping to get off restrictions and bed rest Friday before I go crazy.
On the bright side I was released to "self-explore" when I had my 6 week follow-up, so I engaged lightly on my clitoral area on Sunday and almost had an orgasm...was so close...but no cigar.
I tried again today and I did it!! I had my first female orgasm. Rocked my socks off!!!! Woooooooooooow! [emoji15] So amazing and felt better than anything I ever did in my male configuration. MUCH better! [emoji12]
Soooooo powerful, yet smooth and the build up was incredible and it lasted such a long time. It was so amazing, so gratifying, so fullfilling...it actually meant something for once. It felt like I found something that had been missing for such a long, long time.
I dont mean to seem crass when I say this, but to me that validated everything I have been through. Some people will disagree and say even if you can't orgasm you're still validated as a woman and I agree they are still validated, but thats not what I mean...my point is its nice to know I got my cake and I got to eat it too, thats all.
Even if I couldnt orgasm, I'd still be happy about my surgery and being a woman regardless. But this does definitely a mental edge off of worry about if I can or not, because now I know I can orgasm.
I am looking forward to so many more of those with a partner later down the road. Especially someone going down on me. That's gonna be special.
Setbacks and silver linings in the clouds all at once. What an odd week.
That is indeed a silver lining to enforced bed rest and not at all crass. For my part I'd not be proceeding to GCS if I didn't want that for my sexuality, my emotional needs are being pretty well met by estrogen therapy, it seems unlikely I'll ever pass but I'll be content to have a passing vagina and to be orgasmic seems not too much to ask :-). As Audrey said, that's just me and the way I want to be.
Quote from: audreytn on April 12, 2017, 08:18:54 PM
So the past weekend and this week have presented new challenges and setbacks.
I went out to support group meeting Saturday. Before I left everything was normal. was gone 4 hours, group meeting and then dinner, came home and got ready to dilate and my right labia was swollen up to three times its normal size.
I immediately called Dr. Rumers office and got the after hours switchboard. She relayed the message and 5 minutes later I had a call. The nurse asked me to email pics which I did. One of my sutures was inflammed and possibly infected. I think I may have irritated it by crossing my legs while at group and didnt realize it could affect my surgery area like that.
Was advised to take 800 mg ibuprofen 3x daily, and apply triple anti-biotic ointment.
Was also placed back on full restrictions and no lifting till Friday afternoon. ugh. (can go to the doc, grocery store and thats it, nowhere else) and put on mandatory bed rest. No walking for exercise, no getting out and about.
The swelling has gone down about halfway. Had an appt with the gynecologist but no granulations were found. Lower right side in the vagina is noticeably irritated but nothing else, everything looks to be healing fine. Dilating with the green continues to cause minor pain and burning on the lower right side. But I am getting 3 dots of depth on both dilators. Was usually at 2.5 for blue and lucky to get 2 on the green.
Went home after grabbing some necessities from the grocery store and have been in bed ever since, except to use bathroom, shower and make food.
I am extremely bored. I cant even sit at my computer. They want NO pressure at all on my surgery area, not even sitting on a cushion in a chair and my laptop has gone kaput.
Hoping to get off restrictions and bed rest Friday before I go crazy.
On the bright side I was released to "self-explore" when I had my 6 week follow-up, so I engaged lightly on my clitoral area on Sunday and almost had an orgasm...was so close...but no cigar.
I tried again today and I did it!! I had my first female orgasm. Rocked my socks off!!!! Woooooooooooow! [emoji15] So amazing and felt better than anything I ever did in my male configuration. MUCH better! [emoji12]
Soooooo powerful, yet smooth and the build up was incredible and it lasted such a long time. It was so amazing, so gratifying, so fullfilling...it actually meant something for once. It felt like I found something that had been missing for such a long, long time.
I dont mean to seem crass when I say this, but to me that validated everything I have been through. Some people will disagree and say even if you can't orgasm you're still validated as a woman and I agree they are still validated, but thats not what I mean...my point is its nice to know I got my cake and I got to eat it too, thats all.
Even if I couldnt orgasm, I'd still be happy about my surgery and being a woman regardless. But this does definitely a mental edge off of worry about if I can or not, because now I know I can orgasm.
I am looking forward to so many more of those with a partner later down the road. Especially someone going down on me. That's gonna be special.
Setbacks and silver linings in the clouds all at once. What an odd week.
Wow... lucky your orgasm was that intense... mine was an orgasm for sure but it wasn't intense... it pretty much feels the same as when I was pre op but not as strong... but I'm happy :)
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Well I am 8 weeks post-op. the infection has passed, swelling is gone and irritation has ceased. I am off bed rest and back up and bouncing around. Just remembering not to cross those legs so I can avoid further irritation.
Probably headed back to work soon. I've gotten all I needed to do, done and I have most of my energy back. About 85% right now. minor soreness and tightness but nothing ibuprofen wont resolve. Its up to me if I go back early. Kinda enjoying the time off but the money train is starting to run empty. Not due back till May 30th at the latest.
Orgasm #2 was achieved last night and a whole lot of self-lubricating as well followed by squirting.
Things are looking up. I am also hitting 4 dots of depth with the green dilator and 4.25 with the blue. very very pleased with this.
Quote from: audreytn on April 12, 2017, 08:18:54 PM
So the past weekend and this week have presented new challenges and setbacks.
I went out to support group meeting Saturday. Before I left everything was normal. was gone 4 hours, group meeting and then dinner, came home and got ready to dilate and my right labia was swollen up to three times its normal size.
I immediately called Dr. Rumers office and got the after hours switchboard. She relayed the message and 5 minutes later I had a call. The nurse asked me to email pics which I did. One of my sutures was inflammed and possibly infected. I think I may have irritated it by crossing my legs while at group and didnt realize it could affect my surgery area like that.
Was advised to take 800 mg ibuprofen 3x daily, and apply triple anti-biotic ointment.
Was also placed back on full restrictions and no lifting till Friday afternoon. ugh. (can go to the doc, grocery store and thats it, nowhere else) and put on mandatory bed rest. No walking for exercise, no getting out and about.
The swelling has gone down about halfway. Had an appt with the gynecologist but no granulations were found. Lower right side in the vagina is noticeably irritated but nothing else, everything looks to be healing fine. Dilating with the green continues to cause minor pain and burning on the lower right side. But I am getting 3 dots of depth on both dilators. Was usually at 2.5 for blue and lucky to get 2 on the green.
Went home after grabbing some necessities from the grocery store and have been in bed ever since, except to use bathroom, shower and make food.
I am extremely bored. I cant even sit at my computer. They want NO pressure at all on my surgery area, not even sitting on a cushion in a chair and my laptop has gone kaput.
Hoping to get off restrictions and bed rest Friday before I go crazy.
On the bright side I was released to "self-explore" when I had my 6 week follow-up, so I engaged lightly on my clitoral area on Sunday and almost had an orgasm...was so close...but no cigar.
I tried again today and I did it!! I had my first female orgasm. Rocked my socks off!!!! Woooooooooooow! [emoji15] So amazing and felt better than anything I ever did in my male configuration. MUCH better! [emoji12]
Soooooo powerful, yet smooth and the build up was incredible and it lasted such a long time. It was so amazing, so gratifying, so fullfilling...it actually meant something for once. It felt like I found something that had been missing for such a long, long time.
I dont mean to seem crass when I say this, but to me that validated everything I have been through. Some people will disagree and say even if you can't orgasm you're still validated as a woman and I agree they are still validated, but thats not what I mean...my point is its nice to know I got my cake and I got to eat it too, thats all.
Even if I couldnt orgasm, I'd still be happy about my surgery and being a woman regardless. But this does definitely a mental edge off of worry about if I can or not, because now I know I can orgasm.
I am looking forward to so many more of those with a partner later down the road. Especially someone going down on me. That's gonna be special.
Setbacks and silver linings in the clouds all at once. What an odd week.
I read that bit about the orgasm and i got all excited for you. Lol. I'm laying here at 4 weeks feeling much of what you've already described in your posts.
Too funny, I feel like a giddy schoolgirl.
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been some ups and downs. I am now back at work. I lost my position but I had a crappy boss anyhow. The place I work has plenty of contractors and another offered me $70K a year to work for him, so I came out ahead on the deal. Same position but with a new boss and he is awesome. I also have an earlier start time which is nice, and my work equipment is so much nicer and taken care of than the other guy.
I developed granulations, had silver nitrate applied. It didnt even hurt at all. My vagina has been very tight though. Lots of burning and painful getting the green one in. Still sore and swollen. Taking ibuprofen for pain. Scars on the left side are starting to heal and fade nicely, but the right side is taking its sweet time. Still getting between 4-5 dots, but I have to work for it. I go to 2 dilations a day on May 29th. That will last for 3 months.
Not much else to report. Everything else is going according to plan.
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ooooooh I almost forgot, after filing a civil rights discrimination complaint w/ DORA and CO Div. of Ins. Cigna has agreed to reinburse me for my breast augmentation surgery, so I will be getting a check for the $5200 I paid out of pocket.
Thanks for paving the way for others . . . :)
so I got the check and paid the $5200 immediately to the finance company. still have $600 in interest to pay off but whatever.
the past 2 months has been rather unpleasant. Lots of soreness, granulations, irritated red tissue. Sometimes while sitting at work I just go completely numb in the afternoons. Dilating was downright brutal. I didnt even want to touch my vagina with a finger it was so tender and sore. [emoji22][emoji20]
I had more silver nitrate done and it didnt feel too good.
Dilations were hitting 4.5 and 4 dots respectively before all that started but now back to 4 dots and 3 dots.
Mentally am not in a good place right now. The soreness and trouble dilating is frustrating and its wearing on me.
Aesthetically, I'm making progress but I thought I'd be healed by now and things would look right and they dont. Dr. Rumer looked at pics and said everything is healing find and the progress is good, but I cant help but have my doubts.
I have a skype with facial team in the morning, but I think it will ve a few years before another procedure. This one has mentally taken a lot more out of me off the back end of the recovery. I need to give my body time to recuperate before I go doing anything else.
Quote from: audreytn on March 01, 2017, 03:27:03 PM
Today has been a whirlwind. Mainly not dependent on my pain meds anymore. Havent really taken anything today except my anti-biotics. Not really in much pain. Just soreness and stiffness.
I got my drains, cathether, stitches and packings out.
Then I was shown how to do my dilations. Afterwards, I was blessedly allowed a nice hot shower to let the water and soap just run down my body but not to scrub or wash any of my surgical areas.
I've done two dilations today. One more coming up at 5 pm. Not painful, but more uncomfortable.
these are my dilators. They help keep things from caving in on top of themselves.
There are skin grafts on the inside that makeup the inside of my vagina and so its living tissue that tries to heal itself from the inside out. So thats why we dilate.
I'm using the blue for 10 minutes then the green for 10 minutes, 4 times a day and going till the 3rd dot disappears. This is what they directed me do
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170301/2f806e160bd8cc64924db58258816882.jpg)
I'll receive instructions about my breast implants tomorrow and the rest of the maintenance/healing process.
Just about 36 hours till I am headed home and I'm looking forward to that.
so far so good!
Where is the orange one the biggest one
Quote from: jujubes1986 on November 10, 2017, 11:46:49 PM
Where is the orange one the biggest one
I was never given that one. The green one is big enough for me! About splits me in half every time I dilate. [emoji15]
You can order the orange one from Soul Source. Make sure you get the curved one for MTF. Cis gender dilators are straight.
Dilating is tough but it gets better in time. When my scar tissue contracted it was very painful to dilate. You can ask for prescription strength hydroquarterzone cream and if that does not stretch out the scar tissue then ask for a estrogen cream prescription. I wish I thought about using a little numbing cream that I used for electrolysis on the dilator next to the larger one I was using. Then the larger dilator would not have hurt as much.