Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Denise on February 23, 2017, 07:31:39 AM

Title: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: Denise on February 23, 2017, 07:31:39 AM
Next Friday (March 3rd) I'll be going fulltime.  I work for a large (15,000 employee) company and everyone I'm my department will know by then. 

How do you handle the situation of just passing old acquaintances in the hallway or on the street when they say "hey (dead name)"?  In a meeting I would/will correct them, but what do you do with the 3 seconds you have while just passing by?
Title: Re: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: Jin on February 23, 2017, 09:42:12 AM
3 seconds? Just smile and say hello. No need to fret over names.
Title: Re: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: ainsley on February 23, 2017, 10:42:21 AM
Quote from: Jin on February 23, 2017, 09:42:12 AM
3 seconds? Just smile and say hello. No need to fret over names.

Agreed.  Choose your battles with your pronouns and deadnaming.  When it happened to me I just smiled, without really acknowledging whether that was correct or not, when I had brief encounters like that.
Title: Re: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: KarynMcD on February 23, 2017, 10:59:49 AM
In my experience, at the beginning they either leave off your name or they don't say anything.
Title: Re: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: Denise on February 23, 2017, 01:19:10 PM
Thank you all.
Title: Re: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: ainsley on February 23, 2017, 01:26:21 PM
I understand your trepidation for those situations, Denise.  I ran into our VP of IS in the hallway well after I came out and he was escorting a guy who was interviewing for a job.  I had previously worked with the guy several years ago at the University --in male mode.  He proceeded to misgender me  in our short polite encounter in front of the VP.  I said nothing, the VP said nothing, and we just went on our merry way.  It just was not worth saying anything about it at the moment.  It did bother the crap out of me, but it's just one of those things you can't really do anything about.  The VP has NEVER misgendered me nor deadnamed me (and he knew me before).  That speaks volumes. :)
Title: Re: Need suggestions on "passing people in the hallway"
Post by: HappyMoni on February 23, 2017, 06:34:42 PM
DeeDee,
   I think the name will be a lot easier than the pronouns. The name is never a problem for me. The pronouns seem to come in bunches. Nothing wrong for a long time then all of a sudden I get 4 "Yes Sirs" and a "He" in the span of three days. Ugh, that many made me wonder if I was doing something different. It went as quick as it came. Congrats to you Sweetie! So happy for you.
Moni