Just starting my transition as of yesterday, and nowhere near being "public" yet. In all the research online I've been doing online for years before finally taking this plunge, this forum would always come up. Not sure yet how often I'll post here, but since I don't really have any IRL friends in the trans community right now, I thought it'd be good to make an account and say hi!
So, for a bit of background on me and what's lead me to this point, being trans is something I think I've known since very early on, before I even realized it was a thing. As a kid, I hated having short hair and being forced to get it cut, hated not being able to dress how I felt, and then watching my body change during puberty brought its own host of horrors. I spent countless nights spent praying that if there is a god and he really is looking out for me, that he'd zap me and I'd wake up the next morning a girl, and that kind of thing...Of course, I was raised very religious where this kind of thing was frowned upon to say the least, so I never got much opportunity to explore this side of myself. Growing up, I would always identify more with the female heroes in fiction than the male ones and never really understood why. This was especially true in video gaming; I was infamous among friends for always choosing a female character when available. When questioned on it, I'd always give the standard boy answers; the girls are sexier, I just like the way they look, and so on...of course, I couldn't tell them that this was my way of escapism and exploring feelings that weren't socially acceptable for me to do so in real life, and that I wished like hell I actually looked like that.
I lived well into after college like this; any time I'd ever come close to even entertaining transitioning as an option, I'd find an excuse talk myself out of it: I'm too manly-looking and sounding and could never do that; I'm just not trying hard enough to be a man; no one would accept me; it's just some phase I'll grow out of; not now but maybe after I get settled into a career or some sort, and so on. Even kinda went into "hyper-masculinity mode" for a couple years in a last ditch effort to push those feelings away (it didn't work). Finally around this time last year, I had a bit of an epiphany: I'm well past the point of being a dumb kid, and this if this really is just some weird phase then I would have grown out of it a long time ago, so what the hell do I need to do about it? So I got into crossdressing at first, thinking maybe just dressing up at home would be enough to scratch that itch, but it ended up just barely scratching the surface of what I truly wanted out of life. Finally I made it my new years' resolution that I'd stop making excuses, and that I wouldn't pass into my 28th year on this rock still a man...and well, here I am on day 2 of HRT, very excited to be starting this new chapter in my life!
Thank you for reading, I'm proud to join this wonderful community!
So happy for you that you are starting your journey towards becoming the true you! A lot of your experiences growing up mirror mine very closely, such as the horror you felt with bodily changes in puberty, always choosing the female game characters, the desperate pleas that god -any god!- would please just do SOMETHING to fix what was wrong with you.. Awesome that you have taken matters into your own hands and are doing it for yourself! Despite living full time 2 years by now I only got to start HRT 3 months ago, but I think you are going to love the experience. I have never felt so happy and so well adjusted, and I feel a thirst for life that I truly never knew possible! All the best on your journey hun <3 ..
..and welcome to susans!
Welcome! Where abouts in TX? I'm in DFW.
Hi Samantha! It's great that you've started HRT! Haha I'd love to be at that point right now. It's great that you've finally decided to cut the excuses out too! I can't say much for myself having come out to myself so recently. Retreating into masculinity is scary. :(
Anyways, welcome to the community!
Hi JetstreamSamantha :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
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