I'm new here at the forums so i thought i should introduce myself. So I just started HRT recently. Current age is 22 years old.
I'm extremely dysphoric about myself and due to some social and family situation I kept it inside me for a long time. My thought was I was strong, but I became more and more depressed. Soon I was thinking of committing suicide. I would often picture killing myself in creative ways... :P
So one day I my depression paradise exploded and I went into the kitchen, grabbed the Kitchen knife. My family were not around that time. I was thinking how I could save everyone the pain and just ending it.
Let me tell you, the survival instinct encoded in you is rather strong. I stared into the mirror for 5 mins then I said, "<not permitted> it". I've decided I would transition then. For me I don't have any other choice, it's either live or die.
Seeing that I didn't want any trouble during the start, I kept this from my family. So I started seeing a psychiatrist. He referred me to the Endo after seeing how serious I'm about this. After a couple of weeks I was put on some androgen blockers for a month. By the next month I was given estrogen.
I don't know how to say this, for the first time in my life I felt like myself. The first effect of Estrogen was the crying. I would wake up at 2 AM in the morning and cries for couple of hours. But after each crying section I felt that much better.
Now I know that for 1000% sure this is what I want... Well the biggest problem that lies before me is telling my family about this. I'm scared that if they reject this, I wouldn't able to stop me this time.
Well that's my current situation..
Welcome to Susan's Place. That's pretty much my story except it was what do I have to lose. If it doesn't work I can always finish the job. I think when it comes time to explain it to the family, you will have to tell them that there are no other options for you. You unable to fight it any longer and the only other options is a casket. If there is anything we can help you with, just let us know.
Hi Helios :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
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