Hello everyone. First I need to apologize because I didn't see the introduction category so I posted what is sort of an introduction in the transgendered category. So here's my real introduction:
My name is Emma. I'm 30 years old. I am transgendered, I don't identify as transsexual or cross dresser, I prefer the word sissy because it's very feminine and tells you I am not a genetic female.
I remember very well the first day I learned about gender when I was little. Me and my family were sitting in a green late 70's/early 80's van. We were putting on our seatbelts, me and my younger sister, who was just a baby, were sitting in the back, and my parents said something along the lines of "[Emma] is a he, [little sister] is a she". I didn't know what a he or she was but I immediately said "no, I am a she". And I started to argue over several days and weeks with my family about it as they countered with things like "no you are a he, you have a penis", to which I replied by tucking my penis under my scrotum and stretching it flat to make it look like there was nothing there, and then saying "no I am a she, i don't have a penis anymore", to which they could only respond with "that is gross, Emma".
The next incidence of gender confusion: My sisters (I had three) were all playing dress up and were spinning in their dresses. It looked so fun that I wanted to spin around in a dress too. So my sisters let me put on a dress and I spun and giggled like a girl. My mom saw this and freaked out and told my sisters to get the dress off me. I didnt understand why I was being singled out to not wear a dress and I asked my mom about it. She tried to explain how society expects men and women to dress differently. I was still to young to really talk or understand adult speech (it was only the first or second time I had ever heard the word "woman"), so i misconstrued what she was saying and thought that a woman was a monster that would come and terrorize you if you were a boy wearing a dress.
The third incidence: I was spending the weekend with my dad. I had some female cousins on my dads side putting on lipstick. I had seen women putting on lipstick before but this was my chance to indulge in that same fun that my cousins looked like they were having. So I asked them if they could put some on me and they happily did. They giggled and showed my dad. I was so happy but my dad freaked out and was like "oh my god, what are you doing, that is for girls!" So I had to take off the lipstick. He tried to make me feel better by giving me chapstick. "here, this is lipstick for boys". Needless to say, the "boy lipstick" was not as fun to put on. Unfortunately, my lips are chapped right now so i'm going to have to go get some boy lipstick later today.
By the time I was in school, I was over these gender confusions, though not everybody else thought so. Other kids told me I was a sissy and a ->-bleeped-<-ot. Everyone thought I was gay. I don't know why. Kids I didn't know would come up to me and sincerely ask "are you gay? well somebody told me you were". These were all different schools where the kids didn't know each other and they had the same conclusions about me. by the time I was 12 or 13, one of my sisters guy friends was like "you are too feminine in everything you do". he was right, i sat like a girl and i posed like a girl and I had to train myself to come across as more masculine. but of course, that was the time i hit puberty and i was already having sexual fantasies about being a girl. during the summer I was 13, me and a friend were going through his sisters room and I wanted to put on her clothes so bad, to wear her panties and bras and dresses and wanted to be swept off my feet like that by a dominant lover. But I wouldn't actually take the action of cross dressing until I was between 18 and 20, when i started wearing my younger sister's outfits.
I lost my virginity to my friends mom when I was 19. Me and her started having sex on a regular basis and she became the first person whom I told that I wanted to be a girl. From that time on, I knew my future could only be positive and happy if I got involved in some sort of place where it would be accepted that I am truly a girl; the gay community. But I had no connection to it, I had no gay or lesbian friends. When I was 27 I dated a lesbian who i came out too. she took me out shopping for my first girl clothes and Emma became real and Emma turned on my lesbian ex to no end.
Now I am seeing a therapist who specializes in transgendered issues. I am happy but I am in a relationship where "Emma" is a problem for my current girlfriend. She accepts her but knows it will be a problem later. she wants to get married and have kids but I want to go off and be Emma permanently.
Hello Emmalene and welcome to Susan's!
Thank you for your introduction. Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki (http://susans.org/wiki/Main_Page), chat (https://www.susans.org/chat/index.html), and the links listed at the main page. (https://www.susans.org/index.html) We look forward to your future posts and participation. Enjoy your stay :)
tink :icon_chick:
Unusual choice of term, nice touch.
Hope you get the knotty issue of your girlfriend sorted, and I hope you find people in this electronic world here who accept and enjoy Emma.
Hi Emma,
Welcome, btw love your name, it is one of my favourites!
buttercup :)