Hello,
I haven't posted on here for quite a while now and I just felt like I wanted to do a little update.
Currently I'm on a year abroad in Germany, living with a nice family who are really cool and would be accepting (I haven't told them about being Hannah). Despite this, it has been a nearly a whole year since I last dressed up as a woman and it's slowly giving me the hump.
I've not brought any female clothes or accessories to Germany with me and I've slowly grown to regret that. While it's true that I don't have a lot of time and freedom to do so anyway I wish I still could be myself for a little bit. I've bought a few pieces of makeup since I've been here but I'm sadly not often able to try it on.
I just wanted to give a little update - I'm still here, I still want to be a woman and (surprise, surprise) I'm still in the closet!! :P x
Hey girl! May i be so bold to inquire...
Why not just come out to them? after all they be accepting yes :)? I am so sorry it has been nearly a year since you last got to be your authenctic self. But being in Germany, what i hear is one of the top 5 progressive countires regarding LGBT (riviled only by Denmark, Netherlands ,Canada and Ireland) it should not only be a safe space (by and large with perhaprs a few exceptions ) but a super awesome place to enjoy all the non-trans related venues as a transperson :)
^^ That's the place she lives, and what if they reject her... I wouldn't burn bridges until I am done with "whatever" her purpose being there is, assuming student abroad.
There's a little phrase that goes with, "Don't poop where you eat". Urban dictionary defines it as, "This expression refers to doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you."
Unless she knows she will get accepted 100% by all/most of them, then I wouldn't dare do it.
About 65% to 70% of the population are followers of the Christian religion in Germany.
Just because you're a cat doesn't mean you can't raise hedgehogs as your own. Stereotypes could be dangerous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mb7i9QN9LY
And an elephant can be best friends with a dog... who was later killed by coyotes, but the elephant held a vigil over the dog when she passed away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlajUJ1ygdI
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 04, 2017, 09:41:52 AM
Hey girl! May i be so bold to inquire...
Why not just come out to them? after all they be accepting yes :)? I am so sorry it has been nearly a year since you last got to be your authenctic self. But being in Germany, what i hear is one of the top 5 progressive countires regarding LGBT (riviled only by Denmark, Netherlands ,Canada and Ireland) it should not only be a safe space (by and large with perhaprs a few exceptions ) but a super awesome place to enjoy all the non-trans related venues as a transperson :)
Well one of the problems is I have a network of friends in the city and nearby. Plus my best friend is also doing a year abroad with me in the same city and I know she will likely not be instantly accepting so going out wouldn't be feasible. Then there is the logistical problem of luggage and taking things back to England - I already might have to leave a few things so I don't want to waste more money!!
Quote from: Wild Flower on April 04, 2017, 12:08:53 PM
^^ That's the place she lives, and what if they reject her... I wouldn't burn bridges until I am done with "whatever" her purpose being there is, assuming student abroad.
There's a little phrase that goes with, "Don't poop where you eat". Urban dictionary defines it as, "This expression refers to doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you."
Unless she knows she will get accepted 100% by all/most of them, then I wouldn't dare do it.
About 65% to 70% of the population are followers of the Christian religion in Germany.
Just because you're a cat doesn't mean you can't raise hedgehogs as your own. Stereotypes could be dangerous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mb7i9QN9LY
I agree with everything you said up until the hedgehogs and the elephants and now I'm confused ;) Although I know the family will be accepting there is still too much of a risk :/
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 04, 2017, 09:41:52 AM
But being in Germany, what i hear is one of the top 5 progressive countires regarding LGBT (riviled only by Denmark, Netherlands ,Canada and Ireland)
Actually, Germany fares only slightly better than Hungary, and even worse than Greece!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pinknews.co.uk%2Fimages%2F2016%2F05%2FILGA3.jpg&hash=9134285f5376bf2a3ae8a29a7ef749227f673d76)
(sorry apparently I can't make it larger than 400px wide)
Think I am wearing orthepedic shoes as I stand corrected! I saw some poll a while ago saying that Germanys people were among the most accepting.. And I heard Greece is a tough place for LGBT
Hannah Samira,
That was the most political correct way of me saying 'don't judge a book by it's steriotype' (without bringing race, religion, controversial topics), like Germany was stereotype as if all the people are accepting of LGBT. In a similar way, you assume cats wouldn't raise hedgehogs normally, or dogs best friend could never be an elephant. It's the individual not the stereotype that matters.
If you saw these men.... 2 of them are teachers/professors, 2 of them are regular models , and 1 was a male adult actor....
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscontent.cdninstagram.com%2Ft51.2885-15%2Fs480x480%2Fe35%2F13320038_181472265587856_329901859_n.jpg%3Fig_cache_key%3DMTI2NDIyODc4OTE2ODI4MzUyMA%253D%253D.2&hash=89813d16cb7e080cd14537e7eed938b8793012c8)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feelguide.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F03%2FPetro3.jpg&hash=cae6c21529340b7d5a1b6e56490c5b3355568c9a)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tutorii.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F01%2FCollege-Professor.jpg&hash=7cc10d108e031d9f49ee94eed6e93438b769a0ba)
*** 1st/2nds are teachers (the second is a college professor), 2nd/3rd are models *3rd is only a model*, and the 1st was a adult actor who turned teacher****
Quote from: Wild Flower on April 04, 2017, 06:57:54 PM
Hannah Samira,
That was the most political correct way of me saying 'don't judge a book by it's steriotype' (without bringing race, religion, controversial topics), like Germany was stereotype as if all the people are accepting of LGBT. In a similar way, you assume cats wouldn't raise hedgehogs normally, or dogs best friend could never be an elephant. It's the individual not the stereotype that matters.
Oh Wild Flower you are still going on about this eh? One just because Chritians make up about 65% of the country doesnt make them bigoted. In fact that is a huge sterotype of your own.. something you accuse me of doing, 2nd even tho this is about homosexuality it shows Germany has the 2nd highest of support http://www.newser.com/story/169136/the-most-gay-friendly-country-in-the-world-is.html.... So it isnt a stretch to through in being trans friendly too... So before you hammer me for ''sterotyping'' maybe you shouldnt do it either with Christians.. Case in point, Quebec a province in Canada is like 75% Christian/Catholic.. and more then that same % support lgbt rights by far.
The OP also said that the family taking her in would be accepting, but other cercimatances are not as open for her. And to Hannah all I say is take it at your own pace <3, you got this girl!!
-Ashley
Quote from: Wild Flower on April 04, 2017, 12:08:53 PM
^^ That's the place she lives, and what if they reject her... I wouldn't burn bridges until I am done with "whatever" her purpose being there is, assuming student abroad.
There's a little phrase that goes with, "Don't poop where you eat". Urban dictionary defines it as, "This expression refers to doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you."
Unless she knows she will get accepted 100% by all/most of them, then I wouldn't dare do it.
About 65% to 70% of the population are followers of the Christian religion in Germany.
Just because you're a cat doesn't mean you can't raise hedgehogs as your own. Stereotypes could be dangerous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mb7i9QN9LY
Again, i use this as my point. You say I shouldnt use sterotypes but here you are making one about Germanys relgion population. As if to say because there are so many Chirstians it isnt that safe.. This is were my last post was talking about!
You're right.
I'm a Christian-Wiccan-Occultist anyways (I go by spiritualist because I borrow a little bit from many religions; and agnostic all the same). It's a philosophy for me.
Quote from: Wild Flower on April 04, 2017, 07:23:46 PM
You're right.
I'm a Christian-Wiccan-Occultist anyways (I go by spiritualist because I borrow a little bit from many religions; and agnostic all the same). It's a philosophy for me.
Cool ^.^, I was born Catholic but became an agnostic but I have been looking towards some North American Native beleifs (I am Native Canadian fwiw!) and find it intresting!! Speaking of which I got a meditation and drum class tomorrow :D!!!
Sounds fascinating. I dabble in meditation but never was able to get into it (although I am kind of an expert at Sleep Paralysis and Sleep Hallucinations without meaning too; it's getting progressively stronger the past few years). I also dabble into astral projection, but little success. As far as occult, I dabble with pendulums (when things bump at the night or for further reassurance, Ouija boards, and candle magick (candle magick is for my personal "motivator"). I guess candle magick is where I get my wiccan'ism, and I prefer to do things with a moon, and nature. Wiccan is more an ambiance feeling for me. I also dabble with scrying, but that's complicated... and I feel a low success rate with that. That's when you use black mirrors 'Mirror mirror on the wall', and dark waters as a way to communicate to the other side.
I'm still agnostic about all this... so it's more of a 'hobby' for me, I haven't touch Ouija in over 4 months now. I get my most success rate when I use lesser magick *I'm not going to explain that here on this forum lol!*, and pendulums.
Christianity comes into play as well when I am feeling like I'm dealing with something dark/evil. But, I feel like I have more of a connection with magick and Christianity combine.
I should look into Voodoo, but never got around to it.
Not to de-rail.. sorry
But, do you beleive in re-carnation or spirits trying to connect or talk to you? Because there is this girl who died in the 1980s who pops into my dreams ...
I lived in Switzerland for a couple of years, and I have to say that Europe is a gender questioning persons dream. You can be presenting male while wearing skin tight jeans and carrying a purse. If your host family asks just say that you're curious about these sorts of things as they aren't socially acceptable where you're from.
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 04, 2017, 09:50:00 PM
Not to de-rail.. sorry
But, do you beleive in re-carnation or spirits trying to connect or talk to you? Because there is this girl who died in the 1980s who pops into my dreams ...
No. I kind of don't believe in re-incarnation (at least the theory that we will come back on planet Earth in the small micro-moment of time of human intellect; maybe.... re-incarnation in different realms/dimensions; I could see that), although I did think about it a lot. If there was such a thing as reincarnation (I don't believe in the concept of good and evil; (one's man evil is another man's holy), then we're all doomed forever to an endless loop of a non-ending reality. There's not enough proof, there's six billion people out there, if reincarnation was a legit thing then we would have at least 1 billion people claiming it, at least I would think.... a very-small minority group that claims it is not enough proof for me to believe. The human brain starts and ends at life and death, there's no way it can remember something prior to that. A computer only knows what's program at its birth, if it's not program then it was later install into it.
That aside, I do believe in spirit/ghosts, since that's not a small minority, almost all religions and all cultures have a theory of spirits since the beginning of homo sapiens. There is a reason why elephants buried their dead, they must believe they are going to another dimension.
I feel like I contacted a few ghosts in my life. But I feel like we're on different radio frequencies and I'm just getting the "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" when I interact with them. So I don't have proof of that either. But why are they here?
Maybe they aren't even ghosts....
It could be the M-Theory, and they are on another dimension and we believe they are ghosts. It's like telling Ms. Pac-Man that the world is 3D, and she will never believe because all she sees is 2D. And we're in the 3D dimension, and we can't perceive 4D without being in the 4D dimension.
------------------
And this could be all gibberish, and we're all doomed to die and cease to exist.
I was looking up ghost stories right now, but she's an actress from Golden Girls, and I doubt she would lie about this story...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xquMji1fGFU
-------
OMG. I just remember my own ghost story. Pretty much an older teacher I knew from high school visit me in my dream, and like 3-4 days later I found out he passed from a heart attack I believe. He told me I was beautiful (or something like that), and trust me things like that don't happened. There was no reason for him to be in my dream because I didn't really gave him much thought after high school. It was no coincidence, and he was passing me by like he was walking to another destination.
I think he was thinking about me from the other side. That's why I kind of believe in ghosts. *That's the only ghost situation I truly had in my life thus far*.
But until it happens to you, always will be a skeptic.
Welcome back Girl, ah your in Germany now?
I'm in Switzerland.
Your originally from England yea?
Have you much longer in Germany??
Acceptance may vary by area in Germany. Berlin being most likely the most tolerant city. Some village in Bavaria? Not so much.
While it is true that technically a lot of Germans still belong to a church, they are much more open minded that most churches in the US. Also one topic is that your "membership fees" to a church are automatically deducted from your pay check like a tax. It is even called Kirchensteuer which translates to "Church Tax". I payed it for years and pretty much have not set foot in a church since I moved out of my parents. Luckily that resolved itself after moving away from Germany.
In the end Hannah will have to trust her instincts if she can come out or not. Everyone's circumstances vary.
Viel Spaß noch in Deutschland!
Hugs
Quote from: Fresas con Nata on April 04, 2017, 04:22:32 PM
Actually, Germany fares only slightly better than Hungary, and even worse than Greece!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pinknews.co.uk%2Fimages%2F2016%2F05%2FILGA3.jpg&hash=9134285f5376bf2a3ae8a29a7ef749227f673d76)
(sorry apparently I can't make it larger than 400px wide)
Wow!! That's surprised me a lot!! I think the area of Germany I am in is very liberal but I haven't seen much in the form of LGBT groups.
Quote from: Wild Flower on April 04, 2017, 06:57:54 PM
Hannah Samira,
That was the most political correct way of me saying 'don't judge a book by it's steriotype'
Ahh got it ;)
Quote from: ChristineRachel on April 05, 2017, 01:08:31 AM
Welcome back Girl, ah your in Germany now?
I'm in Switzerland.
Your originally from England yea?
Have you much longer in Germany??
Hey! Yes I'm in Germany right now and I am originally from England. Ohh how come you're in Switzerland? I have just about 4 or 5 months left here so not too long, Uni has just started again as well so that might make the time go faster!! ;)
You're the only one who knows your host family, before you could just talk about the topic with them in general, not telling first your feelings and seeing their reaction to this. Then, depending on their response, tell them or not.
I can say that in the main cities in Europe there's usually no problem with this (although in Spain we have these marvelous people from HazteOir, this sort of organizations use to be a minority). I feel kind of identified with you, next year I'm moving next year to the US and I'll have to build again a safe space .-.
Quote from: theqnoumenon on April 05, 2017, 11:44:12 AM
You're the only one who knows your host family, before you could just talk about the topic with them in general, not telling first your feelings and seeing their reaction to this. Then, depending on their response, tell them or not.
I can say that in the main cities in Europe there's usually no problem with this (although in Spain we have these marvelous people from HazteOir, this sort of organizations use to be a minority). I feel kind of identified with you, next year I'm moving next year to the US and I'll have to build again a safe space .-.
How have you managed to go to the US for a year? I been wanting to spend a year in like Arizona
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 05, 2017, 11:57:35 AM
How have you managed to go to the US for a year? I been wanting to spend a year in like Arizona
Well, it's for studying in California for an academic course. I'm doing now all the paperwork, but feel free to contact if you want to know about applications or something ~
With regards to the ILGA image I posted, it should be noted that the metrics they used to colour the countries are based exclusively on laws and regulations. Malta (88%) jumped to the top on 2016 because of some new laws that were enacted during 2015. So, while Germany may be apparently doing bad at only 55%, the actual acceptance of average people on the street may be different.
It's also no secret that there are regional and local variations. Where I live in Spain (70%), for instance, people are pretty conservative and they will yell at two women walking the street hand in hand. Or, while Eastern Europe is a hard place to be a LGBT, wikitravel (http://wikitravel.org/en/Bucuresti) gives a good reference for Bucharest:
QuoteBucharest is home to the leading gay community in Romania, the city being a lot more lenient towards LGBT couples than any other Romanian places. Romania is just starting to get accustomed to LGBT individuals
In any case, our immediate environment is among the most important factors that dictate how much we can be ourselves. If I lived with my parents in Malta and they didn't accept me, I wouldn't be able to express myself, while if I lived with a friend of mine in Chișinău, Moldova (14%), life wouldn't be awful because she is pretty accepting.
You could check www.gendertreff.de which is a German resource site, maybe it helps finding a local LGBT group in case you are interested...
Hugs Sarah
Quote from: Hannah Samira on April 05, 2017, 08:22:55 AM
Hey! Yes I'm in Germany right now and I am originally from England. Ohh how come you're in Switzerland? I have just about 4 or 5 months left here so not too long, Uni has just started again as well so that might make the time go faster!! ;)
Yea I thought you wher, I am Irish/Swiss.
And I work here on a winery,
Pitty I could have took a drive over, could a been cool lol
Hello Samira
Where in Germany are you located?
I have also recently arrived in Germany (from South Africa) and I now stay in Heilbronn, near Stuttgart. I did manage to bring lingerie with me so while I haven't dressed completely for a while I do 'under-dress' daily.
Life here is probably a bit easier for me because I'm fluent in German, I live on my own, and do my own laundry.
Tschüss
Talita
Nothing is black and white. Germans like bureaucracy , it is a stereotype but has some truth to it. It takes a long time to change the laws in a country like Germany which also has a very strong tradition of federalism.
Christianity its true but the followers in general are not too strict about it.
Not everyone is liberal (the exact definitionnis another question) in cities like Berlin but it is very segregated Sometimes people are very tolerant to the extreme but have very outdated views on these issues if they do not affect themselves that much. The small towns might have very liberal people in them.
Transylvania supports transgender people I heard.
Quote from: Fresas con Nata on April 04, 2017, 04:22:32 PM
Actually, Germany fares only slightly better than Hungary, and even worse than Greece!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pinknews.co.uk%2Fimages%2F2016%2F05%2FILGA3.jpg&hash=9134285f5376bf2a3ae8a29a7ef749227f673d76)
(sorry apparently I can't make it larger than 400px wide)
Im german and maybe you have to seperate this from how LGBT is accepted by the people. The legal cituation of this group is in some ways even more restricted than in the US (same sex marriages for example). Still I would say in everyday life germans are much more accepting then americans.
Hi Hannah!
I am also from the UK and been debating being open during a research project I am doing in a different city during the summer break (just going into fourth year undergrad), but opted not to as I hope to do my PhD there and I don't want to 'burn bridges' as it were.
I also just posted a thread (linked below) about my own frustrations at not being able to present as a woman, so I understand those feelings.
I'd be very interested to hear how you feel about the environment here in the UK, and also within university. I know its a separate subject, so feel free to PM me if you are interesting in discussing that :)
Kay
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,222672.msg1971353.html#new
My whole expectation process was turned on its ear. The people I expected most to support me, were either dubious of hostile to my transition. The people I secretly suspected of being reactionary and ignorant, not only came to my aid, but they have educated themselves and now advocate the process for those that seek it. The world doesn't do what you want and it will surprise the crap out of you.
Hannah, I just got your message but I can't reply yet because I'm new! I won't forget though haha I would give you my email (I have one just for Kaylin) but I can't actually get it to you privately :P
Kaylin
Quote from: Hannah Samira on April 04, 2017, 07:54:13 AM
Hello,
I haven't posted on here for quite a while now and I just felt like I wanted to do a little update.
Currently I'm on a year abroad in Germany, living with a nice family who are really cool and would be accepting (I haven't told them about being Hannah). Despite this, it has been a nearly a whole year since I last dressed up as a woman and it's slowly giving me the hump.
I've not brought any female clothes or accessories to Germany with me and I've slowly grown to regret that. While it's true that I don't have a lot of time and freedom to do so anyway I wish I still could be myself for a little bit. I've bought a few pieces of makeup since I've been here but I'm sadly not often able to try it on.
I just wanted to give a little update - I'm still here, I still want to be a woman and (surprise, surprise) I'm still in the closet!! :P x
This reminds me of a situation that a close friend of mine had to endure before she came back to America... Basically, she had left for China, for a study abroad program whenever she was a senior in university, and she only intended to stay for a matter of months, obviously, since she was on the verge of graduating.
Somehow, she ended up staying in China for an extra 2.5 years, which wasn't her intent at all, and it was exacerbated solely because she had gender dysphoria that was only getting more severe by the day. She lived with receptive people and whatnot, but it probably wasn't the most comfortable or ideal of places to transition, especially as someone from abroad.
Ultimately, she wound up traveling to a different far-East country, and stumbled upon estrogen, legally, there somehow---and she left some of it in my kitchen cabinet, now that I think about it... lol. I've had her over a few times...
Anyway, my point is that she's now a successful, fully transitioned trans woman, and she's just now approaching age 29. The poor girl suffered through gender dysphoria---in China---for over two years, and didn't get to cross-dress, etc. But, she made it somehow, and is super-outgoing and pretty. It definitely encouraged me whenever I conceved how difficult it was for me to have sustained GD in a foreign land. Hope it somewhat speaks to you as well.
Good luck,
K.C.