This is for the older transitioners or even the younger ones like myself that stuffed their feelings in the closet for so long it was all about repression. Did this new voice happen to anyone else. This talking in your head as a female. Suppose you are reading another post on here, or asking yourself in your own head a question like ''Are these 10 dollar socks worth buying'' and you are using your inside/non verbal voice. Did it switch to female all of a sudden? I ask because for so long I felt this depressive male talk before, now I am actually getting this female vibe when I talk within myself. I must say, I love it. Whenever the ''male'' voice pops in i feel gross and re-center to the new voice. When the female voice comes and i can feel it as my own I love it so much better, and it actually feel far more natural even as I just got this inner voice more recently. Hope this made sense , but does this happen to you?
Hugs-Ashley!
Totally know what you mean yes. Most of the time my inner voice is that of a woman, but it is also just my voice not that different than it always was. (i continue to work on my actual voice).
The other thing is that when i am first person in my dreams i have increasingly been more feminine. That is a form of voice too.
I don't hear like you would a regular voice mine are more past memories of people who said things that haunt me at certain times. Those tend to be my inner voices.
My "inner voice" isn't vocal enough to identify as male or female.
But what I have noticed is that Kathy is a lot bolder than my old male self was. The more I get used to being Kathy, the more I find myself in "damn the torpedoes" mode. It's quite an amazing change to see from this close.
My inner voice in my head has tended to gravitate towards how my physical voice sounds. So, since I've been trying with voice, I have a fairly androgynous voice right now (going into voice therapy in the near future for this), and so that's what I hear in my head.
Im really sorry to hear that Demon Raven :(, hope that gets better for ya <3
As for the other two, yes i am super happy that i am not alone. I had the female voice before but up until recently i was super doubtful after it came. Now and days I am allowing it to happen. I honeslty love this. I love the fact i can talk to myself as female. My dreams however i seem to be rather genderless still. I am not really male in my dreams, but rarley ever am i female in dreams either. Im kinda nothing i guess
And to your point Kathy, i feel the same. On Tuesday night for example i went window shopping at Ardenes (one of like 5 clothing stores in Pembroke Ontario) with a girly friend. We were looking at cute tops and mini dresses. It was awesome, plus the picking up other small things in talks that validated my own femininity like when she said '' Next pay check you and I are so getting lunch and going to shop for all sorts of clothing and such'', something like that around those lines. It just made me feel included as belonging on the pink team and makes me happy :)
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 14, 2017, 05:10:30 PM
This is for the older transitioners or even the younger ones like myself that stuffed their feelings in the closet for so long it was all about repression. Did this new voice happen to anyone else. This talking in your head as a female. Suppose you are reading another post on here, or asking yourself in your own head a question like ''Are these 10 dollar socks worth buying'' and you are using your inside/non verbal voice. Did it switch to female all of a sudden? I ask because for so long I felt this depressive male talk before, now I am actually getting this female vibe when I talk within myself. I must say, I love it. Whenever the ''male'' voice pops in i feel gross and re-center to the new voice. When the female voice comes and i can feel it as my own I love it so much better, and it actually feel far more natural even as I just got this inner voice more recently. Hope this made sense , but does this happen to you?
Hugs-Ashley!
Good for you. I'm a little jealous. This is actually something that I am trying to achieve. I have a theory that if I can transform my inner dialog to a more female sounding voice then my voice therapy will be greatly enhanced. Still working on it.
Quote from: Jane Emily on April 14, 2017, 06:13:33 PM
Good for you. I'm a little jealous. This is actually something that I am trying to achieve. I have a theory that if I can transform my inner dialog to a more female sounding voice then my voice therapy will be greatly enhanced. Still working on it.
I too am a little jealous. But there are times. I'm just thankful that the "you should be a woman" voice is 100% no doubt about it GONE!
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I cannot say my "Inner Voice" is female. It is simply "Me".
I spent nearly 50 years living up to other's expectations or what I believed their expectations were based on what they saw (covering eyes). I repressed who I really was to fit that image for others.
Perhaps the "inner voice" is the engineer/realist in me. I tried God knows how many different ways to FIGHT the GD, only to eventually (re 50 plus years above) realize I needed to face it head on.
I am still learning who/what "I" am
I feel like a bish now. I am sorry for anyone on this thread if this comes across triggering. That was not my intention by any means. For what its worth my talking voice isnt that great either. If i push it hard I still barley pass as female and still to me if bothers me. I got lots of repairs of my own to do to it. My main thing was your own voice inside your noodle that you talk with. Such as asking yourself to yourself what colour paint you would like on you walls while at RONA or the Home Depot. I have noticed my inner voice has been more feminine which helps atleast a little. But my outter, needs some repairs too.
Again sorry if this comes across as triggering at all. That was not my intent
For me, no real difference. It's been the same docile voice since my earliest (trans) memories (4 years old). Never "heard" a clearly male voice, nor an overwhelmingly female one. It has always been the same sweet, sensitive and compassionate voice, generally soothing, sometimes a little harsh. She didn't know she'd be called Sarah, but she has always been Sarah. The difference is that she feels liberated, now. And much happier.
Hugs, Sarah
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Hi Ashley,
First, I like your new avatar picture. It's about time you showed yourself girl.
Second, Inner voice? I frequently have squirrels running around and chittering at me but no, no inner voices.
Hugs
Jeanette
Quote from: JeanetteLW on April 14, 2017, 08:44:12 PM
Hi Ashley,
First, I like your new avatar picture. It's about time you showed yourself girl.
Second, Inner voice? I frequently have squirrels running around and chittering at me but no, no inner voices.
Hugs
Jeanette
First, Thank you ^.^
Seconds, Maybe I am just cray-cray and talk more to myself that i probably should :o ;D :angel:
I've always had a female inner voice. It's funny that it never made me think that I may be trans* I just always felt like I think like a woman..."I guess there's not much of a difference." As an adult, though, I realize how much I'm not like a man, especially that inner voice.
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Never paid it much attention, but I'd say it responds to my headspace at the time, which doesn't always match current presentation, but it's a good indicator. So if I'm sitting at home trying different hair styles in my new bra and most feminine shirt, it's usually female, just got out of work in my boring male clothes, then it's usually male, but certain thoughts are against the grain for one or the other so the proper one will say it, I wouldn't describe it as fluid though, the male thoughts are sort of obligated, and happen only because of years of conditioning. The female thoughts are spontaneous, and wouldn't have been allowed past the pre-internal voice stage of thinking before.
It's honestly embarrassing how much I freeze up if forced to be all male, close to nothing comes naturally in that state for me. I'd be rid of it tomorrow if I could realistically.
Side note, your new pic is cute @Ashley
Quote from: Daniellekai on April 14, 2017, 11:50:25 PM
Never paid it much attention, but I'd say it responds to my headspace at the time, which doesn't always match current presentation, but it's a good indicator. So if I'm sitting at home trying different hair styles in my new bra and most feminine shirt, it's usually female, just got out of work in my boring male clothes, then it's usually male, but certain thoughts are against the grain for one or the other so the proper one will say it, I wouldn't describe it as fluid though, the male thoughts are sort of obligated, and happen only because of years of conditioning. The female thoughts are spontaneous, and wouldn't have been allowed past the pre-internal voice stage of thinking before.
It's honestly embarrassing how much I freeze up if forced to be all male, close to nothing comes naturally in that state for me. I'd be rid of it tomorrow if I could realistically.
Side note, your new pic is cute @Ashley
Thank you ^.^
I get that feeling of shedding the years of male conditioning. The new more natural female inner voice, doing more feminine stuff and just feeling whole with the femaleness. This will sounds cliche but I wish I had always had this throughout my life without question. It feels so nice, yet kinda odd to shed over 20 years of maleness. But then again, we have ladies here who have had to shed 50 or 60 years of maleness. Its remakrable that they can seeing as i think 2 decades of maleness has at times made me feel like damaged goods, yet there they are hauling away and blossoming into amazing women :)
It's weird because my internal voice has always been higher than my actual voice. When I was REALLY transphobic, I wouldn't even read a book because I was afraid it would confirm something I already knew but rejected. My internal voice has always been that of a woman, I just don't think about it too often. Occasionally my voice seems like maybe the relative pitch of my speaking voice, but not often.
Nice profile picture, girl! :)
Once I made him sit down and shut up, I could hear my own voice over the din of his.
My inner voice is the same only what it says has changed"what does she look like in that and nice shoes, hair ,clothes"
Must say it is nice knowing other do have this :)! It also feels good I havent have a dysphoria attack in some time :D!!
P.S thanks to a lot of you for the compliments on my new profile pic, means alot <3
Ashley,
Love your picture too. Very cute!
The inner voice thing is something you hear well enough to know what gender it is? I can't imagine that. Of course that comes from a person who dreams in black and white too. I think I only have one voice. It is a very different person doing the talking from say two years ago, pre-transition. My voice was calm for a while after transitioning. Now it won't shut up with thoughts of one surgery that did not go well and trying to get to another surgery. Maybe this is what Jeanette means by squirrels. Right now I just wish my voice would shut up and give me some peace, let me sleep. I don't think it likely though.
Moni
I never thought about that. I never really did have a girly inner voice, it was more like should I get this, or should I get that? hmm don't really like the colour... I'll shop around for more ideas kinda thing. Actually my inner voice before and now just makes me more girly.. If that makes sence
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