I am not sure where to start, first
My real name is not Michelle, < I do love this name > I am 35 and married with two kids, I am CD x-trans < my transaction had no success >, second
I live in a country where they banned anyone who want to express his transation either by transaction or crossdressing and they see them as they would disgrace the community, no education or so ever, they are still conventional either m or f, third
My story began when I was 6 or 7 I felt like a girl and does not belong to male gender, I was crossdressing in bath where no one could knew or I would be punished until my dad catch me nude and was experiencing anal penetration then I had got marks of this belt all over my arms and back, I then stopped and been so careful not to be exposed next time, until we traveled to another country and their I express my CD more, but again this country also does not allow such those behaviors, a financial crises forced us back to origin country, I was keeping things inside me and those driven me to be depressed, I had tried to cure my otherside expressions by some dep pills, it work for sometime but come on this thing is build on me I can get it out of my body, it is inside me, I then got loved with a woman when I thought marrying her would keep in the side of the river where I stand on I was wrong, I realize that I should do what I suppose to do at the beginning of the time, my wife loved me but when I tried to express to her that I like to CD she refused and hated the way I did < but I never told her about my truth > I then realize that I have no option except transition, of corse my country forbidden males who want to trans to be what they wanted to be, so no medical care support, so I went to look for alternative, I started taking birth control pills witch are available and will work on me, I had them for sometime until my erraction and libido came to zero, my wife wondered if I was on some medications which I then denied, I wouldn't preferred to hide or lie on her but I did that because I would loose her this time, then she asked me to see a doctor for my condition to see what going with my mojo prowess, I then decided to stop those pills and go back to my shell,
I am sorry for my long story, but I was hopping to share my story for the first time with you, thank you for reading, I hope you have the best for your life.
Hello, Michelle.
Welcome. I was saddened to read your story, as growing up in such an environment is very damaging for many transgender folks, and makes their search for a way to find help and their true selves very difficult. I know that we have had a few other posters from parts of the world that were similarly restrictive. Perhaps they might have some good advice for you.
I hope you feel welcome here.
I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to take a look, please take a moment to go through them.
Things that you should read
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.
Hi Michelle :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Thanks all for reading my story :icon_cry: I am so glad that there are some good humans who care about us, we are part of this world lived before and will live after the others, I hope in some day we would be recognized widely, I will be posting soon other topics and share others opinions I am so glad to be with you, love you all <3