Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Passing => Topic started by: Brooke on April 21, 2017, 03:03:00 AM

Title: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Brooke on April 21, 2017, 03:03:00 AM
I'm noticing as of late that seeing my reflection, I still see my old self. If I take a selfie in that exact moment though.... WOW!, what a difference.

It's so weird that I can't see the feminization in a mirror, but give me a photo and it's clear as day.

I know it's a body image issue, but am wondering if anyone else dealt with this and how you came to see yourself as others do. I don't pass in my own mind very well, but to others I pass completely.

Is this just a matter of time, like a mental lag, or do I need to work on it. Hmm. I don't know.


~Brooke~
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: rikki88 on April 21, 2017, 08:01:48 AM
Quote from: Brooke on April 21, 2017, 03:03:00 AM
I'm noticing as of late that seeing my reflection, I still see my old self. If I take a selfie in that exact moment though.... WOW!, what a difference.

It's so weird that I can't see the feminization in a mirror, but give me a photo and it's clear as day.

I know it's a body image issue, but am wondering if anyone else dealt with this and how you came to see yourself as others do. I don't pass in my own mind very well, but to others I pass completely.

Is this just a matter of time, like a mental lag, or do I need to work on it. Hmm. I don't know.


~Brooke~


You are for sure lucky. I haven't had anything look different in my face region. My body oh yea! But my face remains very manly looking.
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: JeanetteLW on April 21, 2017, 10:01:49 AM
 Hi Brooke,

    I will go along with Rikki, it would be nice to see facial changes whether in the mirror or in a picture. Either place would be good to me.
   I am the opposite and I fear a victim of wishful thinking. I look in the mirror and think I see changes but when I check a picture from when I began this journey I can't see the change I thought I did. It's the same old guy standing there still.  However, when I dress and put on one of my wigs, maybe a touch of makeup, that old man gets banished. I see the woman I should be. Not necessarily the woman I would like to see, but a woman just the same.
  Just my 2 cents mind you... reflections on a reflection if you will.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

 
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Brooke on April 21, 2017, 12:50:18 PM
Thank you both!
I definitely realize I'm lucky. I do still think that there has to be some sort of mental lag at play.

The scenario reminds me a lot about weight-loss and the resulting mental image. I know when I have lost weight more than 10 or 15 pounds I have always been surprised that I can fit into clothes, or my go to clothing items are too big for me. The thing that for me a guarantee after losing weight is it's going to be my shadow that will always catch me offguard.

I think also in my case is shortly before starting hrt I hit my max weight I've ever had. In the months before and after beginning hrt I lost a little over 100 lbs. The weight loss would have been a huge change by itself, but throw in HRT and it's a whole different person.

I suppose I'll just have to wait and see.

I appreciate the feedback, thanks!


~Brooke~
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Colleen_definitely on April 21, 2017, 02:58:25 PM
I think there's something wrong with me (and seriously, what else is new?  ;D ) but I look better to myself in the mirror than a selfie. 
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Anne Blake on April 21, 2017, 05:54:56 PM
Hi Brooke,

I believe that I am in Colleen's camp. I do like the image of my face reflected in the mirror while most photos bother me. I put that to being overly critical of photos but seeing the happiness in my face looking back at me from the mirror gives me joy. The reflection is just of an old lady but it reflects more happiness than I ever saw in his face.

Anne
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Brooke on April 21, 2017, 05:57:31 PM
It's looking more and more like it's me who is the outlier here.

I appreciate all the feedback! Thanks!


~Brooke~
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Michelle_P on April 21, 2017, 06:23:49 PM
Brooke, you are not alone.

I've covered all the mirrors in my apartment where I could see myself without makeup and hair in place, except for a little place to use when shaving. (Yuck). I expect to stop shaving in a few weeks through the miracle of marathon electrolysis sessions.

Photos are more detached and abstract than a reflection, and it is easier for us to perceive and appreciate the contents in abstraction.

The mirror may map onto our internal self-image for many of us, and that lags behind our actual appearance by many months.

The good news is that our internal self-image does eventually change. I eagerly await that day.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The Mirror illusion
Post by: Brooke on April 21, 2017, 06:50:14 PM
Thank you Michellle! Very good points on the nature of photos vs reflection. I completely get the desire to cover them up.

Good luck with the electrolysis! I don't know if I could do more than a few hours (in different areas of course) at a time.

Though reaching near the end of my electrolysis journey, I can say that it is completely worth it.


~Brooke~