Hi,
I'm new to this forum obviously, basically I plan to start transitioning next year when I'm 28 and I'm starting with FFS as I don't want to even attempt living as a female with my current facial appearance, no make up would help.
I plan to lose weight to get my old thin figure back which ironically would be countered by hormone treatment putting fat in place again.
Now my concern may sound a little petty or overused but I feel at 28 I've left it to late and the results of transitioning will be much different in reality to how I envision them, I'll be in my 30's at least by the time the whole procedure is done and I fear I won't be passable in which case I would've been better sticking with lesser of two evils and being miserable as a male but at least I fit in.
I really truly want pass off as female 100% but can't help but feel it just won't be possible masculine voice aside, I plan to see the doctor in London anyway and at least hear if he thinks making my face feminine is do-able but if he can't really give me a guarantee it's a deal breaker I can't live with as it's not exactly a cheap procedure and if it leaves me feeling unhappy with the end result I may as well have not got in debt.
I have photos but haven't a clue how to add them to this forum.
Welcome to Susan's Place. Passing 100% of the time is a pretty tall order because sometime CIS women are misgendered. There have been a few cases of them being kicked out of the women's restroom. The second issue is often we don't realize how well we do pass. It can take years to see ourselves as women when others are seeing us as a women long before that. Passing is much more than just a pretty face. Mannerism and knowledge can trip us up faster than appearance issues. Even the discomfort we feel in public at first is sufficient to cause us to be read. The more time you spend in public even if you are being read, the more comfortable you will be in public. We can help you with all this but don't put all your hopes on FFS surgery.
To display an image, place the image on a photo server like photobucket and capture the link. Use the following text to insert the image.
[img]http://url.jpeg[/img]
We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
- Many people transition at 28 and fit in just fine. I myself did and I'm 35 now.
- Pretty much NOBODY passes 100%. Maybe 99% or 95% or something but yeah.
Seems like you have a good plan. Go forth. Do the thing. If you're interested in my journey, my blog has it all (well the first few years anyway) : http://debramckenz.com .
[img[http://s349.photobucket.com/user/chriswright19901/media/20170427_001823_zpsjfwb6fmh.jpg.html]http://(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi349.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq390%2Fchriswright19901%2F20170427_001823_zpsjfwb6fmh.jpg&hash=7eecab367c34f1442388e47bb885a2d030585479)[/URL]][/img]
Sorry for potato quality picture, the rear camera is far better but harder to picture myself without seeing the screen.
Quote from: TranSketch on April 26, 2017, 06:27:51 PM
"...I plan to start transitioning next year when I'm 28 and I'm starting with FFS as I don't want to even attempt living as a female with my current facial appearance, no make up would help."
"Now my concern may sound a little petty or overused but I feel at 28 I've left it to late and the results of transitioning will be much different in reality to how I envision them, I'll be in my 30's at least by the time the whole procedure is done and I fear I won't be passable in which case I would've been better sticking with lesser of two evils and being miserable as a male but at least I fit in."
Hii there I can definitely relate to your concerns. I'm turning 27 this year myself an I feel like I'm getting to that point in my life an with myself where it's now or never. I haven't begun to tell my family I'm transgender--let alone transitioning.
We can all relate to your fears and concerns in one way or another. If there's one thing we all have in common it's that we no longer have the ability to continue living life this way. I know for certain that I fear I won't pass!! However if you combine hormone replacement therapy an feminization surgeries you'd be surprised. There are some of us who don't have the courage to even make the first step which is "coming out".
Transitioning isn't easy nor is it cheap. It takes a lot of courage, sacrifice, determination, support and in many cases money. Transitioning oftentimes comes with a hefty price tag, which is an issue in and of itself. In the end there are many obstacles we face an questions we ask ourselves. With the results varying from person to person. No concern is petty or overused. No one can make you feel differently an there is no one who can "guarantee" you will be passable.
Sorry for being all over the place. I'm still trying to figure out myself...=\
Good luck with your decision I truly hope you find happiness. ❤️️
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I have saw some amazing before and after pictures of M to F, so much so I'd think they were joking if they said they were once a guy but the thing I also noticed is they definitely were either in there teens or probably only had just turned 20 so I figure they escaped the worst of male development. With that said I appreciate your kind words of encouragement I just wish I had done this when I was "trap worthy" XD on a side note I havent told my family either. I've told my work place in advance and a girl whom I am to hopefully date and become closer with who thankfully is not bothered by wanting to transition, I also told a really close friend who was a drag performer in London who brought me out my shell in the first place so I owe him alot really, funny how it's usually family are told last and everyone else around you generally is.
Quote from: Dena on April 26, 2017, 07:06:21 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. Passing 100% of the time is a pretty tall order because sometime CIS women are misgendered. There have been a few cases of them being kicked out of the women's restroom. The second issue is often we don't realize how well we do pass. It can take years to see ourselves as women when others are seeing us as a women long before that. Passing is much more than just a pretty face. Mannerism and knowledge can trip us up faster than appearance issues. Even the discomfort we feel in public at first is sufficient to cause us to be read. The more time you spend in public even if you are being read, the more comfortable you will be in public. We can help you with all this but don't put all your hopes on FFS surgery.
Hii Dena you couldn't have said it any better!!! Exactly what I was trying to say lol
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am not an expert on FFS and makeup however you appear to have a good starting point. Proper makeup, Facial hair removal, a proper hair style and some time on HRT may make you fairly passable. For the most part I didn't start on HRT until I was 26 but it wasn't as effective as what's available today. My avatar picture was taken at about 34 years of age. Start with the low cost approach and save FFS for latter IF you need it.
Quote from: TranSketch on April 26, 2017, 08:38:05 PM
[img[http://s349.photobucket.com/user/chriswright19901/media/20170427_001823_zpsjfwb6fmh.jpg.html]http://(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi349.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq390%2Fchriswright19901%2F20170427_001823_zpsjfwb6fmh.jpg&hash=7eecab367c34f1442388e47bb885a2d030585479)[/URL]][/img]
Sorry for potato quality picture, the rear camera is far better but harder to picture myself without seeing the screen.
If high levels of passing is extremely important to you, then ffs would be required atleast for the face part. Good thing you are in London since Brian Mussgrove is one of the extremely rare ffs surgeons that provides Orthognathic surgery(the one highly popular in Korea) as part of ffs(which most ffs surgeons don't/can't) which would be highly beneficial in your case. However in a lot of cases, one can still spot a transwoman based on face alone despite having ffs, and a very few can truly achieve a cis female equivalent feminine face. So one should be willing to put in a lot of effort but still be very realistic/conservative in the result they can achieve.
You may want to join the Facebook ffs group. Couple of members there have gone to Dr Mussgrove for ffs which also included midface and jaw height shortening.
I have a end goal in mind, a vision ideally of where I want to be by the end of this journey, As it stands I need to drop from a 38" waist back to my original 32" which would improve how I feel about myself, I just hope for the SRS to match up with the body I want as I feel that things would go smoother if during the hormone treatment and living experience I mostly blend in.
I don't live in London but it's just a cheap coach ride away for me, that and my closest friend who has always been supportive of me lives down there so he'd be my support. It's because of my friend that I finally accepted that part of me as he was a former drag performer and could tell there was more to me than I let on, so in essence I owe him more than he'll ever realize.
After seeing some of the amazing before and after results of some T Girls I would never believe they were formerly male and that's what I'm hoping for, I want eventually live the life I've been denied Since I was born and secondly I'd love to attend conventions not cross playing but actually cosplaying the various females I like from games and anime, the ultimate cosplay test after all the hormone and surgeries is Widowmaker from Overwatch, the waist may be excessively thin to be realistic but I'd like to try as I find her a ppealling to try and mimic to the best of my ability at that time.
It'll be a challenge but I'd like to think I could do it as the end goal and feel I've made it, bonus points if guys actually like it XD
I had facial surgery as part of my transition in my early 30s -- and now, approaching 50, I live a woman's life. Facial surgery was profound -- it was the "real" sex-reassignment surgery in my experience.
Of course, there's more to passing than the shape of your face. Beard removal must be a priority -- I'd start immediately, as it usually takes a good couple years to finish. Likewise, HRT usually takes several years to manifest the changes we need for our bodies.
Even more important, though, is voice. It took me six months of practice and training to finally find my voice, and several months after that to strengthen the muscles necessary to permanently lock it in. It is voice, in my opinion, that makes or breaks long-term passing.
In the last two decades, I've been misgendered six times -- all in contexts where I was being seen for the first time, like at the grocery check-out, by people who weren't paying attention to me and only saw a tall person with a somewhat broad-shouldered aspect. In every one of these situations, all it took to reverse the misgendering was to speak -- "Could I get plastic bags, please?" -- and then I'd get apologies and expressions of chagrin, which kind of shows you what people really think about misgendering someone. A great voice can reverse a wrong initial impression.
It's even more crucial for long-term relationships (lovers, friends, colleagues) and all the conversations that will ensue. Which brings up my other point -- there's more to passing than just how you look. After all the body work is done, there's still socialization to pick up on, and that won't fully happen if you're "out" as trans. If passing is your concern, it's not a story to share with the world as you transition. It takes maintaining your narrative privacy -- which typically entails packing your bags and moving to someplace new to start your new life.
Do lose weight -- you'll get better surgical results if you're fit (say a BMI of 22 or so), there are social advantages to being more slender, and it's a lot easier to find clothes that look good, too.
Thanks for your input, I can always look into training my voice before my consultation as it won't be till some time next year, this I can do alongside losing weight as for beard/facial hair currently not in a financial position to do owt like that hence why I'm doing this all next year when some debts are cleared up freeing money I can call my own, regarding voice training do you have any free or cheap suggestions as if I can get some sort of voice ready before hormone treatment it'd be a great advantage?
It's possible to develop your voice without seeing a therapist. We have a section for this and we can give you feedback and assistance. I am more than willing to help members on the site with what I know so it just boils down to how you want to approach it.
If it saves money on whats already a costly procedure I'm game to try it, with luck I'll have a semi decent voice before my consultation.
Avoid Musgrove. His average results are poor. Once in a while he has a nice result, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Many of his patients look the same after surgery as before. He's also quite an unpleasant person and seems to have a 1970s attitude towards transwomen.
If you're in the UK, Facialteam is the place to go. [Filtered] The UK domestic surgeons are extremely weak.
If you must stay in the UK (and really, must you? You're not saving money, nor reducing the risk of complications), then Keith Altman is the person to go to. But even he's not world class. Good, but there's much better available a very short and cheap flight away.
Quote from: TranSketch on April 27, 2017, 04:23:53 PM
Thanks for your input, I can always look into training my voice before my consultation as it won't be till some time next year, this I can do alongside losing weight as for beard/facial hair currently not in a financial position to do owt like that hence why I'm doing this all next year when some debts are cleared up freeing money I can call my own, regarding voice training do you have any free or cheap suggestions as if I can get some sort of voice ready before hormone treatment it'd be a great advantage?
Hi Transketch,
Personally I would not skimp on voice training...doesn't matter how good you look if you open your mouth and you give yourself away...men and women not only have different pitch ranges but have different types of speech patterns. I would certainly spend the money on the best qualified person you can afford. They will not only guide you to obtaining an authentic voice but also suggest the tools you need and give real time feedback.
Have you thought about a therapist or some kind of professional help, which you may need in order to get HRT Prescribed. Not sure what you local requirements are for HRT.
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on April 30, 2017, 03:36:37 AM
Hi Transketch,
Personally I would not skimp on voice training...doesn't matter how good you look if you open your mouth and you give yourself away...men and women not only have different pitch ranges but have different types of speech patterns. I would certainly spend the money on the best qualified person you can afford. They will not only guide you to obtaining an authentic voice but also suggest the tools you need and give real time feedback.
Have you thought about a therapist or some kind of professional help, which you may need in order to get HRT Prescribed. Not sure what you local requirements are for HRT.
Liz
When I get my consultation next year I'll be asking the surgeon about sort of help they can recommend this includes who best to see psychiatrist wise to kick off the actual mental and hormone process of all this, in regards to voice for now I've got about a year to at least try and self train myself to speak more feminine alternately it may at least give me a foundation to work from, as it stands even with debts cleared up Next year money would be tight as I'm hardly in a good paying job so were I can try to save it inevitably I have to.
Don't worry dear I assume everyone has that fear, I know I do, I'm 29 almost 30 and I haven't even started yet but plan to in the next few years slowly..very scared that I've missed the mark. But I'm sure we will both be fine, ur pic looks like you could feminize it easier than you think!
Quote from: BrittanyRose on April 30, 2017, 07:49:29 AM
Don't worry dear I assume everyone has that fear, I know I do, I'm 29 almost 30 and I haven't even started yet but plan to in the next few years slowly..very scared that I've missed the mark. But I'm sure we will both be fine, ur pic looks like you could feminize it easier than you think!
Well here is one when I was in my teens.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi349.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq390%2Fchriswright19901%2Fpicture0019_zpsiwro8dsk.jpg&hash=ead05e18b11f9e4dc5ca20f807f5b632a7d7b7ab)
And this is the most recent one at twenty seven, as you'll see I've got a lot of effort and work to get from this to how I used to be
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi349.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq390%2Fchriswright19901%2F20170429_223121_zpsuwg9fkpf.jpg&hash=191a3d67f088cce152cdd42b052da868d46a07f8)
I'll be trying my hardest to naturally but even I can see based on the most recent picture I've let myself go and just given myself a hard long slog to fix it, hopefully the effort will reap rewards.
I think you have a great start and still are young and I love your hair in your current pic. Be lucky you have featured that are a great start. A lot of us don't!
Quote from: TranSketch on April 30, 2017, 07:47:44 AM
When I get my consultation next year I'll be asking the surgeon about sort of help they can recommend this includes who best to see psychiatrist wise to kick off the actual mental and hormone process of all this, in regards to voice for now I've got about a year to at least try and self train myself to speak more feminine alternately it may at least give me a foundation to work from, as it stands even with debts cleared up Next year money would be tight as I'm hardly in a good paying job so were I can try to save it inevitably I have to.
Dena has some great information on voice training and would certainly be able to help you with the self help stuff.
Quote from: Jujubee on April 30, 2017, 06:39:31 PM
I think you have a great start and still are young and I love your hair in your current pic. Be lucky you have featured that are a great start. A lot of us don't!
Thanks, but with the exception of long hair which generally anyone should generally have no issues growing out, I'm kind of oblivious to any other features really as naturally I only see a male who needs to lose a little weight XD on a side note some of the length is dead ends (I get lazy sometimes) so may not be as long when said dead ends trimmed out.