Gradual acceptance by my wife has significantly helped my gender dysphoria, depression and shame. I have been out as a TG for almost a year. My brain tells me I am supposed to be a woman. I don't want to be that way, but I have no choice, I was born that way. My wife has realized the same. I have been taking baby steps in dealing with this. I have been wearing lace panties under my pants and shaving my body hair except my pubic hair around my genitals, which I told my wife about so not to hide any secrets. My wife told me she did not want any visuals as it is a turn-off and I have been keeping it to myself. However, yesterday I was changing in the closet and she wanted to know why I had the door closed. I told her that she didn't want visuals and I was changing into panties. She then went to my underwear drawer and at first jokingly put on my male underwear. She said it didn't fit well and then went on to put on a pair of my lace panties. After she took them off, I took a risk. I was tired of doing everything in secret and feeling ashamed. I pulled down my pants and said that this is how I look. I then stripped down to just my panties. I was wearing nude color and she asked me to put on a better color so that she could see them better. I put on a pair of baby blue panties. She asked me to model them and turn around. She then told me that it wasn't as bad as she anticipated. I am quite skinny without a middle age paunch which makes me look more feminine. I then wore them the rest of the day. In the afternoon, we ended up having sex. I never wanted to have sex dressed up, but I left my panties on. She liked my shaved body. She said she felt like she was with a teenager(we are 58 yrs old). She rubbed me with my panties on. She told me she knew I didn't want a penis, but that she liked it. I told her that it will always be there for her(I am terrified of any SRS). The point of this whole story is that she is gradually accepting all of this. I am no longer ashamed. In fact, I wore women's leggings to bed last night. If you are married to a TG, realize that crossdressing is part of it all and give your partner a chance. You will end up with a happier, more supportive spouse. We are best of friends-my wife tells me she has a new girlfriend to share things with, but still a boyfriend when she wants some intimacy with a male.
Sounds like you have the best of both worlds..congratulations!
Great to hear things are working out for you. Being patient certainly pays off in spades...
Liz
Glad to hear she is being more accepting little by little. I know that transitioning is a HUGE step for anyone who is trans and making that change to their life esp while married could be very challenging, but it is not only a change for you or anyone who identifies as transgender, it is a change for your spouse, and it can be quite scary. I would know because my wife is trans (MTF) and I felt like this esp when she first told me. I try to be as supporting as I can be, and while this journey you are one is about you, your wife is also very vulnerable, so she needs your support and reassurance as well.
That's from my perspective anyway. I hope that gives you some insight.
From what it seems she is talking baby steps...but at least you are both moving forward...and TOGETHER!!
Hugs xoxox