Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: ds1987 on May 05, 2017, 11:36:47 AM

Title: Waiting for a click
Post by: ds1987 on May 05, 2017, 11:36:47 AM
Hiya! So I only started taking hormones about three weeks ago, but I wanted to ask at what point any questions or feelings of uncertainty faded out.  I'm on a somewhat lower dosage to start, and I've been starting to think a little differently.  The last part I can't describe, as it's subtle. 

The uncertainty I feel could be anxiety about everything in the future now that I've started this process.  Does (did) anyone experience moments of questioning whether you should transition having already started hormones?
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: Laurie on May 05, 2017, 11:47:08 AM
 Hi ds1987,

  Most people report a feeling of relief from dysphoria withing the first couple weeks, some even in days. It's nice feeling better about yourself isn't it?

   I left out the second part response. Sorry.  Of course I have had doubts, as Danielle said if someone doesn't  have doubts over this momentous choice I would be surprised. I'm at 5 months with noticeable boobs growing on my chest and I still have occasional thoughts about it cross my mind. I don't think they are really doubts  about  doing the right thing for myself as I have felt it was right for me with the first pill.  It's more of whether I am doing the right thing when it comes to my daughter and grand kids. That part of coming out didn't go so well and it saddens me.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: Daniellekai on May 05, 2017, 12:18:15 PM
Quote from: Laurie on May 05, 2017, 11:47:08 AM
Hi ds1987,

  Most people report a feeling of relief from dysphoria withing the first couple weeks, some even in days. It's nice feeling better about yourself isn't it?

Hugs,
   Laurie

In the same breath there are posts from people years into their transition questioning if they've done the right thing, most come to a conclusion sooner or later that yes, they have. It isn't a magic pill that'll erase your doubts and fears, I'd say give it some time, the big permanent effects don't really kick in until the third to sixth month, or so I'm told... Anyone not questioning their sanity when making such a huge life choice is probably the crazy one.
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: Charlie Nicki on May 05, 2017, 01:49:13 PM
Quote from: Daniellekai on May 05, 2017, 12:18:15 PM
In the same breath there are posts from people years into their transition questioning if they've done the right thing, most come to a conclusion sooner or later that yes, they have. It isn't a magic pill that'll erase your doubts and fears, I'd say give it some time, the big permanent effects don't really kick in until the third to sixth month, or so I'm told... Anyone not questioning their sanity when making such a huge life choice is probably the crazy one.

This is something my therapist has told me as well. Doubting is part of the process. A healthy part. It's hard to see it that way but the important thing is not to let doubts be bigger than your desire to find your true self.
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: SailorMars1994 on May 05, 2017, 01:56:39 PM
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on May 05, 2017, 01:49:13 PM
This is something my therapist has told me as well. Doubting is part of the process. A healthy part. It's hard to see it that way but the important thing is not to let doubts be bigger than your desire to find your true self.

Indeed, that was my biggest pitfall not too long ago. Glad to say that is gradually goign away :D
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: AlyssaJ on May 06, 2017, 10:08:23 AM
I'm 5 weeks into HRT and I still have those moments.  For me, they're usually connected with emotions about something else.  For instance, when I've had some of the most painful days/nights dealing with the changes in my marriage, I've encountered doubts.  What I learned is that if I consider my transition in a vacuum, taking out all those other factors, the doubts go away.  So my doubts really are just about the "collateral damage" of transition and not whether or not I actually need to transition.
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: HappyMoni on May 06, 2017, 11:48:16 AM
   I kind of like to ask myself this question. Is the feeling just about uncertainty or is it about wanting to turn back to something about your male life (or female life for trans men) that you really want. I had a very bad time at one point, put on guy clothes (to work on the car), and thought, "I could go back, turn from transition if I wanted. Is there anything drawing me back to the male life?" For me, the answer was no. It helped me find clarity.
   At certain points being on HRT brings on a lot of emotions. There can be a period of adjustment getting used to that. It settles down after a while.
Moni
Title: Re: Waiting for a click
Post by: JoanneB on May 06, 2017, 01:42:10 PM
Quote from: ds1987 on May 05, 2017, 11:36:47 AM
Hiya! So I only started taking hormones about three weeks ago, but I wanted to ask at what point any questions or feelings of uncertainty faded out.  I'm on a somewhat lower dosage to start, and I've been starting to think a little differently.  The last part I can't describe, as it's subtle. 

The uncertainty I feel could be anxiety about everything in the future now that I've started this process.  Does (did) anyone experience moments of questioning whether you should transition having already started hormones?
Eight years and counting  :(  As the old sage said "Life gets in the way of living"