So my daughter and her dads are coming up for Mother's Day next Sunday.
(We, meaning myself and siblings, have decided that even though I do not identify as a woman this does not take away from me being the person who birthed our child and can be celebrated at the same time as others who did so. This might change but for now I am celebrating Mother's Day. )
I am going this week to talk to her dads about what is going on so that nothing can get slipped or surprised on them. I am not full-time using male pronouns or my chosen name, we are taking this social transition slowly since I can't get my anxiety out of my doubts.
My concerns are that they will want us to talk to our daughter before Mother's Day as well and I am not sure how to tell her. She is 7 in June.
I know it's like everything else, simple statements and don't give answers that weren't obvious to the questions asked.
I was wondering if anyone else has talked to young children and how they brought it up/explained it.
Thanks to the family holiday I have sped up my conversation timeline with family members so it can't be awkward. It's been making for a stress filled week that I think will end with an email to my therapist.
I should probably add background that my daughter was placed for adoption with 2 men at birth. We have a very open adoption and I am fairly confident they will be accepting but that doesn't remove the anxiety and worry I have about talking to them.
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I really worry about telling my nephew who looks up to me as well, I wouldn't want him to copy it, I've thought maybe tell him the doctors made a mistake when I was born, or just not say anything unless he asks... You know, make it a non-issue basically... I'm in the camp that thinks this sort of decision should be made only when much older, and with full knowledge that they'd be permanently infertile due to not experiencing their gender's puberty... Way too early for him to question his gender, lol...
I don't think someone who hasn't been through puberty fully realizes what they'd be giving up with infertility... Then after they go through "the other" puberty they might really regret it, not having stored sperm/eggs I mean...
I spoke to my older daughter. She was 14 at the time. It did not go well. I did not go full time until she went to college at age 18.
Younger children are much more accepting and take their lead from other family members.