Hello everyone! I've recently decided to open my strange feelings to my parents and have since been looking up to figure out what I sexually identify as. I will describe how I feel the best way I can and I hope you guys can help me out :).
-When I was little, I've always found myself with girls and often did roleplays, dressups, etc with girls of the same age group for fun.
-I often privately dress as a girl as I lack the self confidence to publicly do so.
-Most of the times I'm dreaming or fantasizing myself I portray as female.
-I am attracted to men, and only attracted to women a little bit.
-I privately act more feminine and try to sound more feminine.
-I am uncomfortable with my body and wish to have more female characteristics like gender reassignment surgery.
-I play video games and in all of them I choose a female character.
-I wish the name I was given was more feminine.
Would I be transgender? Thanks anyone who helps me out! :)
That's a question no one can answer but you, but you're on the right track towards figuring yourself out, whatever that might mean. The best thing I can recommend is to thoroughly explore yourself. Do some research about transgender topics and see what your do and don't relate to, start talking to a therapist who specializes with gender dysphoria and identity issues, explore your feminine side in ways you feel comfortable (and don't) such as clothing, makeup, mannerisms, etc. One thing that really helped me answer the "am I trans?" Question for myself was reframing the questions. When I stopped asking if I was transgender and started asking the question in terms of whether I was cis-gender, the answer suddenly became far more answerable, and it was simple. No, I'm not. I never was. I've been trans all my life and I'll be trans until the day I die.
Ask yourself, would a cisgender person want GRS? Why?
Answer's no, no reason. And if you're not cis, you're trans.
If you're asking the question, generally speaking the answer is yes. The more pertinent question is what do you want to do about it?
I recommend not giving the question much weight, just the fact that you're asking it. If you're asking, you're not comfortable in you current gender role. The most likely reason is that it does not match your identity. But the only thing that matters is doing what you want to do, and not letting yourself suffer. You know you better than anyone.
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Thank you for your answers everyone! Personally I consider myself a MTF but I thought it was a good idea to ask more knowledgeable people. My intention is to be MTF but I am simply not a self spoken person.
Quote from: Daniellekai on May 09, 2017, 02:19:11 PM
If you're asking the question, generally speaking the answer is yes. The more pertinent question is what do you want to do about it?
I agree with this statement.
CIS people rarely (never) think about their gender. That one question, put to my wife, sealed the deal for me. She thought I was crazy when I told her it was at the point of I thought of nothing else. It took five decades to get there but it was inevitable.
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Quote from: ImaDomoSaur on May 09, 2017, 01:28:00 PM
Would I be transgender? Thanks anyone who helps me out! :)
my only recommendation is that you be
very sure before you make large steps. not to scare you off but it is a hard life :P
Thank you again for your replies! I've only been open to my mother about this and while she says she will support me no matter what I am, she believes that I am going through a phase and that I am not really serious about being Trans. I personally disagree and am going to a specialist as well, but I'd like to hear some of your thoughts about this.
Quote from: ImaDomoSaur on May 10, 2017, 01:01:48 PM
Thank you again for your replies! I've only been open to my mother about this and while she says she will support me no matter what I am, she believes that I am going through a phase and that I am not really serious about being Trans. I personally disagree and am going to a specialist as well, but I'd like to hear some of your thoughts about this.
I don't think there is such thing as a "phase". There might be times when the thoughts aren't as loud and you might feel more at peace and OK with who you are, but they always come back with a bang. From what I've seen other people describe and in my own experience, it doesn't ever go away so calling it a phase is simply not true. What you really need to find out is where do you fall in the trans spectrum and what do you want to do with that.
If I were going through a phase, then that phase has lasted for more than fifty years.
Quote from: ImaDomoSaur on May 09, 2017, 03:09:02 PMThank you for your answers everyone! Personally I consider myself a MTF but I thought it was a good idea to ask more knowledgeable people. My intention is to be MTF but I am simply not a self spoken person.
Intending to be MTF is one thing. Intending to simply be female is another.
You definately fit into the trans spectrum. To find what you really are I would suggest asking your mom to let you go to a therapist who has transgender experience. While people do not have to follow the WPATH standards of care, many doctors do. A doctor may require a letter from a therapist before starting any HRT if that's what you feel you need.
A good therapist is there to help you work through your feelings. They will not judge you but may ask you questions to direct you to think about yourself inside. If your end goal is HRT then the therapists only job aside from helping you, is to determine if your feelings have been persistent. In other words have these feelings always been present though out your life. At my age many of us have repressed and forgotten many of these feelings until we start to explore our own memories. At your age everything is still fresh and sounds like you have not put too much away. Honestly, from your description of growing up I'd say your feelings have always been present. That is what separates it from a phase.
Hi ImaDomoSaur
I'm Laurie, mtf. I would like to welcome you to Susan's place. ((Hug)) Welcome, welcome come right in and feel at home here. Susan's Place is a good place to come when looking for help and information, Just ask your questions as you did or browse the links provided above.
Are you trans? Like many have told you, that is a question you will need to answer yourself. If you do not know then some research into the subject may help. Again as others have said, speaking to a gender therapist may also be of help. It is highly recommended because they can help you with not only figuring out your feelings and actions with respect to gender but can help you come to terms with the issues that arise from it.
I am a trans-woman but did not realize it for over 60 years. I thought I was just a crossdresser and that it was all I needed. But I discovered I was wrong after finding information on gender dysphoria. I am not on HRT and getting gender therapy myself.
I hope you find your own answers. We are glad you are help. This is a safe place for folks like us.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: ImaDomoSaur on May 09, 2017, 01:28:00 PM
Hello everyone! I've recently decided to open my strange feelings to my parents and have since been looking up to figure out what I sexually identify as. I will describe how I feel the best way I can and I hope you guys can help me out :).
-When I was little, I've always found myself with girls and often did roleplays, dressups, etc with girls of the same age group for fun.
-I often privately dress as a girl as I lack the self confidence to publicly do so.
-Most of the times I'm dreaming or fantasizing myself I portray as female.
-I am attracted to men, and only attracted to women a little bit.
-I privately act more feminine and try to sound more feminine.
-I am uncomfortable with my body and wish to have more female characteristics like gender reassignment surgery.
-I play video games and in all of them I choose a female character.
-I wish the name I was given was more feminine.
Would I be transgender? Thanks anyone who helps me out! :)
Hi ImaDomoSaur,
Welcome to the site. So sorry I am so late getting this to you. I was busy at my other job.
Looks like you have had some good info. Hope it helps. Please feel free to keep asking questions as you need to.
I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.
With warmth,
Joanna
Its not an easy question. You have to figure out by yourself what suits you, what works for you and whatnot.
Therapy is a nice first step to start sorting out things. Also real life experience may come in handy. You don't need to take huge steps, a lot can be done before going for medical and surgical treatments.
The key here is to be true to yourself and to be honest about what you want, what you expect (and pondering if your spectations are realistic) and what is more comfortable to you.
Hello, friend!
These questions are not things that non-trans peeps usually ask themselves. Every trans person has questioned at some point.
Here's a question: what do you want the answer to your question to be? For me, I looked online for validation to my questioning, because I wanted to be confident that the answer to "am I trans?" was 100% yes.
Unfortunately there are no 100% yes's in this world, especially when it comes to gender. However, for the purposes that I believe you're here for, I will give you a big yes.
Please take care of yourself and know that there's lots of support for you here.
:) - Sunny