The date didn't really go well for me. The guy was nice, but my anxiety flared up and I ruined it for myself, I passed a mirror and looked in it and all I saw was a boy, my face hasn't looked this harsh since before hormones and idk why it's looking that way now. I honestly don't know what to think. While looking in the mirror it made me question why guys ever hit on me and not know I'm trans and it made me wonder why My ex ever told me I was beautiful because I didn't see anything beautiful in that reflection. I'm not looking for compliments. I just wanted to vent it out.
Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 19, 2017, 10:27:17 PM
The date didn't really go well for me. The guy was nice, but my anxiety flared up and I ruined it for myself, I passed a mirror and looked in it and all I saw was a boy, my face hasn't looked this harsh since before hormones and idk why it's looking that way now. I honestly don't know what to think. While looking in the mirror it made me question why guys ever hit on me and not know I'm trans and it made me wonder why My ex ever told me I was beautiful because I didn't see anything beautiful in that reflection. I'm not looking for compliments. I just wanted to vent it out.
Hi Angélique,
Unless the pictures you've posted have been seriously photoshopped I can't see how anyone would mistake you for a guy. It's hard to judge from just photos, but honestly I don't have any idea what you're talking about. I'm quite sure many would love to have your looks. Maybe it's the photos, do you have any that make you look male?
Paige :)
No I don't. Hormones made my face look too skinny and I hate it. They havnt been photoshopped though.
I'm starting to feel like my hormones stopped working tbh because I was passing as female before hormones I've never felt this way about my face.
I personally find its just better to go full disclosure with anyone I intend to get involved with romantically before anything even happens. Like I've been on hormones for 7 years and pass fine for the vast majority of the time but still i'd never enter into a relationship with anyone without first disclosing my trans status. and most guys are fine with it in my experience.
But as others have said you look great hun. I wouldn't worry :)
He knew I was trans. I told him after he asked me out.
Most likely what is making your face look thin is the fact that you are losing weight. If you are still losing weigh, bring it up with your doctor because weight loss can occur for medical reasons. Some conditions are easily treated and other can be serious so don't wait till your next appointment.
Quote from: Dena on May 19, 2017, 11:18:04 PM
Most likely what is making your face look thin is the fact that you are losing weight. If you are still losing weigh, bring it up with your doctor because weight loss can occur for medical reasons. Some conditions are easily treated and other can be serious so don't wait till your next appointment.
I 2nd this. I knew a girl who had been transitioning for years and she was feeling similar so when she went to the Dr. they gave her a tablet that slowed down her metabolism and helped her to retain weight.
Quote from: bubbles21 on May 19, 2017, 11:41:38 PM
I 2nd this. I knew a girl who had been transitioning for years and she was feeling similar so when she went to the Dr. they gave her a tablet that slowed down her metabolism and helped her to retain weight.
i didn't realize they had that type of tablet. Is it just one tablet or do I have to take it like everyday?
Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 19, 2017, 11:47:31 PM
i didn't realize they had that type of tablet. Is it just one tablet or do I have to take it like everyday?
Yeah i remember she mentioned beta blockers or something like that. She took a course of them so just with food. I'm not sure if she kept taking them but she did put on weight. Best to jusy mention it to your doctor.
Quote from: bubbles21 on May 20, 2017, 12:18:03 AM
Yeah i remember she mentioned beta blockers or something like that. She took a course of them so just with food. I'm not sure if she kept taking them but she did put on weight. Best to jusy mention it to your doctor.
i would just take them until I got to my desired weight which is 140lbs. I was close to that until November 2016, since then my weight has been dropping. I'll def mention that to her.
Not to diagnosis your problem but there are other conditions like diabetes that can also cause weight loss so it's best to tell your doctor your aren't trying to lose weight but you are. One of the questions I was always asked by the doctor is any unexplained weight gain or loss. A yes to that question would have resulted in additional testing to determine the cause.
It's not hormones making your face thin. Most of your posts express an anxiety about food that borders on an obsession, and in one you mention eating less than 1000 calories a day at times AND being active for 8 hours. If you are rapidly losing weight you are either not eating enough (which would be my guess based upon your own comments) or you have a medical problem that has nothing to do with hormones. Instead of fixating on peanut butter and such, I strongly advise you to take the advice multiple people have given you about seeing a doctor regarding your food intake and weight. That kind of disordered eating can have serious long term consequences, and if the problem is a medical one then whatever the underlying cause is needs to be treated. Are you seeing a therapist for your gender issues? If so I would also suggest bringing up your fears and anxieties around food and weight with them. Please do not delay in getting this issue looked at.
Quote from: AutumnLeaves on May 20, 2017, 09:44:29 AM
It's not hormones making your face thin. Most of your posts express an anxiety about food that borders on an obsession, and in one you mention eating less than 1000 calories a day at times AND being active for 8 hours. If you are rapidly losing weight you are either not eating enough (which would be my guess based upon your own comments) or you have a medical problem that has nothing to do with hormones. Instead of fixating on peanut butter and such, I strongly advise you to take the advice multiple people have given you about seeing a doctor regarding your food intake and weight. That kind of disordered eating can have serious long term consequences, and if the problem is a medical one then whatever the underlying cause is needs to be treated. Are you seeing a therapist for your gender issues? If so I would also suggest bringing up your fears and anxieties around food and weight with them. Please do not delay in getting this issue looked at.
if it is how much I'm eating then I can't help it because some days I can't afford to feed myself enough food to get more than 1,000 calories.
You gotta vent, I get it. Hugs and hope you feel better. I can't even imagine how it feels to be so objectively passable and yet feel you're not cutting it. I can join the others in saying you're strikingly pretty and know that probably doesn't help. Wish I'd been able to make it down to socal while I was I SF recovering but I was definitely too fatigued for extra travel.
Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 20, 2017, 09:57:38 AM
if it is how much I'm eating then I can't help it because some days I can't afford to feed myself enough food to get more than 1,000 calories.
If you are having problems affording food, then lets have a discussion about that. When I transitioned, I was burning through money as fast as I could make it and I had a well paying job. My solution was one night a week I could have fast food but the remainder of the week, everything came out of my kitchen. Mostly I used ground beef as that was really cheap but I also used eggs for protein. Lunch was sandwiches which I packed for work and nothing was purchased from vending machines. Even now, I may cook up a brisket, chill, beans or pea soup then freeze it so I don't eat out when I don't feel like cooking. A crock pot is a great investment because for around $30 you can load it up in the morning and have dinner ready and waiting when you get home. If you have questions or need recipes, let us know.
Angelique, I'm not going to try to diagnose or fix any of the potential health issues you have. I'm just going to say, that I'm really concerned about you. I've been following your posts for months on this board and what I've noticed is you really struggle with low self-esteem to the point that (as someone else mentioned) it's almost an obsessive behavior for you.
Yet every picture I've ever seen you post, you look absolutely gorgeous. You are a beautiful young woman and you should be proud of your transition thus far. I understand right now you're having some issues with weight loss and it sounds like maybe finances as well. That can be difficult and should be your focus right now. I really feel that you are far too critical of yourself and this thread illustrates that once again. We are all our own worst critics. We have unlimited time to look in the mirror and study every feature of ourselves and pick out every little thing we consider a flaw that most people would never notice or care about. I feel like that's what you're doing but maybe to a much less healthy level than most.
As I said, I'm not trying to put you down or criticize you, so I hope you don't take it that way. I am truly worried about you and concerned for your health. I wish there was something more I could do to help but at this point all I can do is stress how beautiful you are, remind you that you've come a long way and been very successful in your transition, and ask you to stay strong and focus on taking care of yourself instead of focusing on critiquing your physical appearance. Good luck to you hun, I hope you find a way to solve the weight issues and get to a more peaceful place.
That guy asked me out on a second date a few mins ago so I guess I didn't look as bad as I thought.
I am glad there will be a second date.
Where I go to group they have a food bank. People can go there twice a month and fill a bag with food. There are other food banks as well. Also, there are churches that have food on different days of the week.