Hey guys. I have been wondering something latley, I have been passing far more it seems these days. The past two months I have been she'd and given all the right pronouns and such. I have noticed this is seaping even at work. I was in the bakery i think thursday night and this kid wanted one of the free cookies. Anyways i was in the middle of doing something and couldnt jump up at the very second and the mom was all like ''shes busy you gotta wait'' and ''use your manners to her'', something around those lines. But the thing was, i was wearing my gender nuetral work cloths and had my hair tucked above into my hair-net.Yet i am getting she'd a lot more now and that example was just one of many. I have also noticed that when i go into the two sit down restraunts in this town i am getting treated more like one of the ladies by my waitresses then i did before and when i get my hair and eye brows done I am also finding myself being included in the female conversations. Now outside of work I understand as I do look like the real me now, but inside of my jobs where I am looking more androgynous then anything else i am suprised that I am actually getting me Shes (yay) over hes ( :/ )
Long story short I am loving this!!!! Has anyone else had to present in a more in the middle way yet get gendered correctly?
I get "he" alot at work. Might be the uniform doing it.
Oh ok cool :). It just feels so nice to get gendered correctly!
I know. My heart makes a little jump of joy every time.
Most people go by the face. Less my how you dress.Estrogen softens your features. Also if you look just average rather than being dressed really well and wearing a lot of makeup people spend less time looking at you. One thing to remember is that the better you look, hair, makeup, etc, the more other women will scrutinize you. Its just female nature. When we see an attractive woman we automatically start looking for flaws. " she's really pretty....but wait, her nose is a little bit crooked. Mine looks better " we do it without really thinking about it. In any event I am glad you are being recognized as your true self.
Hugs.
Congrats, Ash! That's a very affirming feeling. Total malefail can't be far off.
I cant wait for 100% male fail... I can feel it being here soon!!
I love this new chapter of life. No more belly aching over doubts and not feeling connected to myself.. now, just gotta get the facial hair gone and turning the outty into an inny and i will be rocking :'D
Ah, those were the best of times. I remember the point in my transition where I no longer had to rely on any gimmicks, my wardrobe or anything else to pass. It seemed to happen almost overnight.
After my top surgery, 90% of my issues were solved. I still wasn't on T until a couple weeks after my surgery, so my voice and face were still a bit feminine. I was no longer getting female pronouns but people were instead opting to not gender me either way or occasionally using male pronouns. Then one day, two or so months into T, I went out and everyone sir'd me. It was surreal. All those years of anguish I spent doing everything possible to pass and, suddenly, a switch just flipped and it was done.
Like others have said, you'll be hitting total male fail soon.
This is good. Kids are the hardest ones to pass with.
That's a gold-plated gendering right there.
Keep it up Ashley. You have every right to enjoy this new chapter of feeling great with your life. It is so good to see you so happy.
Luvs ya,
Laurie
Thank you all <3, yes this new chapter is great!!
The thing is, i recall taking estrogen and being very very discouraged during the first few months of 2016 and last few months of 2015 (When i became E and before my mi-April meltdown that year) because I was on E, dressing as a woman and slowly starting to let my inner woman bloom and blossem yet I was being read as and gendered as a male. It was so discouraging, and was one of a few things that led to that meltdown. I can say no, that being gendered correctly with little effort does feel so good and i wish I could tell myself during those times it will get better. Its just so nice to be ma'am'd then bro'd
That sounds good Ashley on the right path at last, its very encouraging when you get remarks from the public like that.
I'm in a very similar situation. My feminine features are causing a lot of male fails, which can be sometimes funny, other times annoying but they are a great confirmation that even when I don't try to present as a girly girl, people still see me as I would like to be seen.
I had the "You cannot use your husband's credit card..." line thrown at me a lot of times in shops so I had to use cash or my other card. I have never tried to prove that I'm a man, even if legally I am at the moment. I just enjoyed that they were sure that I'm a woman.
Last month we were just getting ready to pay after our laser treatment and we told the beautician that we believe we have 20% discount. She looked a little puzzled and asked us the site's name where we found this discount. We told her that it was advertised on the local trans support site that all trans girls have 20% off the regular price. She was like "For both of you? Are you both...?"
At that moment I understood why she was surprised earlier when I asked about hair removal on my forearms.
Two weeks ago I was waiting for my food in KFC and the cashier asked her colleague to finish my order and the guy said "Ok, I'll bring the rest of the order for the lady...".
Sometimes people from other floors at work think I'm a girl and hold the doors for me.
At a previous workplace there were a few funny incidents in the restrooms when I was washing my hands, a guy opens the door, looks at me and says "Sorry, I thought this is the men's room" and leaves or checks the sign on the door again.
If only my voice would be a little better, I probably wouldn't hesitate on going full-time as I pass fine when I put effort in presenting as a female, only my voice fails after some time.
Thanks Coldheart <3
And yes Lynne those moments are awesome. Not too long ago i was in mens bathrooms and got the stares too... in womens places I get far fewer, even no stares... step in the right direction :D Thanks for the funny stories, good days call for good chuckles <3
I love the that feeling. I'm not out, all I have is long hair for a guy, but about once or twice a week I get ma'amed, it makes me so happy I bet I blush hard.
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My best passing story was at the jewller's. I had brought in a ring that I wanted made into a pendant. I brought it in in male mode, about a week before I went full-time, and picked it up a week after I went full-time. Picking it up, the lady at the counter said, "Oh, <deadname> will have to come in and sign for it himself." Once I explained that I was "him", she was very apologetic. I was like, "It's okay, hon, you just made my day!"
Enjoy every "pass" that you get. We work hard for them.