He said if a guy goes out with/ sleeps with a transgender they are either gay,bi,or experimenting. I couldn't say anything because he would have beat me up if I would tell him off, buy it seriously hurt my feelings because he has been saying for years that he was supportive and today showed he wasn't, my dad even agreed with him when he said that.
sorry about that but you look female and to me if a guy sees a female than it is not gay or bi or experimenting. to me it would be straight as man and woman. BTW you look great sorry had to say it.
Hi Angelique,
I have to agree with you, What he said was hurtful and mean and by no means truthful. What he said is his own opinion and/or was said to be hurtful in my opinion.
Sorry you had to be treated like that by family.
Hugs,
Laurie
As far as ik the guys I've been with were straight, I'm sure some were bi and I just didn't know because I never asked, but there are a lot who ik 100% were straight and it's so hurtful that they would act like that their opinion means something because it doesn't because they don't know all the guys I've dated and they don't know how they think so they can't make that assumption.
They also said "it dosnt matter how female you look that if you have a swinging ****, who ever sleeps with you or dated you is gay, bi, or experimenting."
I agree with everyone else in that they were trying to be hurtful. Your brother said something that he knew was a sensitive subject for you and your dad joined in when he sensed you were vulnerable. I'm sorry as I can imagine how hurtful that would feel.
I think that any guy who would be interested in you notices your feminine features first. The rest depends on how confident and secure that guy is with his own masculinity.
Im sorry that happened. I had someone say that to me once and it is hurtful. But it isn't true at all. My ex was CIS. He was not gay or bi sexual. My current boyfriend is FtM. He isn't gay either. I have had gay male friends and they wouldn't ever have been interested in me sexually. No gay guy wants someone who looks, acts and feels female. As for experimenting, I was with my ex for 2 years and I have been with Lucas since 2013. That is some long experimenting in both cases.
No offense but your brother sounds like a jackass.
Hugs.
As others said, your dad and brother are just wrong.
But they don't just understand, or maybe they are just insecure.
Have met plenty of straight guys that at some time said those things and then they slept with transgirls. I no longer care for what people say in some respects, not worth caring.
Quote from: Wednesday on May 26, 2017, 08:11:36 PM
As others said, your dad and brother are just wrong.
But they don't just understand, or maybe they are just insecure.
Have met plenty of straight guys that at some time said those things and then they slept with transgirls. I no longer care for what people say in some respects, not worth caring.
ive been rejected by many straight guys who hit on me at bars after I told them I was trans, like one of y'all said, it just depends on how comfortable they are with their masculinity, some guys just can never go there because they can't look past the penis part, people need to realize that some straight guys try to be open minded about it and give us a chance.
Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 26, 2017, 08:15:47 PM
ive been rejected by many straight guys who hit on me at bars after I told them I was trans, like one of y'all said, it just depends on how comfortable they are with their masculinity, some guys just can never go there because they can't look past the penis part, people need to realize that some straight guys try to be open minded about it and give us a chance.
Yep, there are plenty that reject you in no time when you tell whether you're post-op or pre-op. Also I think it just has to do with their security on self masculinity.
So he can sit there with his small uneducated mind and you aren't able to repsond bcz he may get violent? Of course we know he is wrong like it's 2017 and ppl are still refusing to educate themselves. Did you get up and leave the room or area when they made these comments? By them saying that a man who dates trans women is gay bi or experimenting falsly assumes that trans women are men. Hateful rhetoric used to make you feel invalid. Im sorry you had to go through this but you will have to say something sooner or later because while ever they know they can get away with it they will continue with the bs or maybe your mum could say something i dunno. Why was this convo happening?
Quote from: bubbles21 on May 26, 2017, 08:32:07 PM
So he can sit there with his small uneducated mind and you aren't able to repsond bcz he may get violent? Of course we know he is wrong like it's 2017 and ppl are still refusing to educate themselves. Did you get up and leave the room or area when they made these comments? By them saying that a man who dates trans women is gay bi or experimenting falsly assumes that trans women are men. Hateful rhetoric used to make you feel invalid. Im sorry you had to go through this but you will have to say something sooner or later because while ever they know they can get away with it they will continue with the bs or maybe your mum could say something i dunno. Why was this convo happening?
my dad randomly brought it up to my brother and told him that I'm wanting a guy to take care of me and it just escalated from there.
It sounds like your brother has expressed that he wants to be supportive, but he totally failed tonight. Maybe you can talk to him about how he failed to support you at a later time, perhaps on the phone when it can't turn physical? I'm so sorry that you had to deal with those comments. Big hugs!
Wow that's messed up. It also isn't true. My gf is MtF like you but I'm not gay. What your bro said is stupid. Sure some dudes would reject a transgirl but there are plenty who wouldn't. A couple months ago my friends were talking about dating a transgirl. It got started cause a transgirl had started working at Starbucks and they were talking about her. So one dude asked everyone if they would go out with a transgirl. Two said no way. One said he would if she had had the surgery. One guy said he would date a transgirl even if she hadn't had surgery. He said if she was really pretty and feminine he could get past the guy parts as long as she would be cool with him never touching or playing with them. That dude was as far from being gay as you can get. Some guys act like a douche towards transwomen but there are also guys out there who can get past it. You say your bro is supportive but that was a mean ass thing to say. Might wanna try doing without his "support".
Lucas
Quote from: Transdude on May 27, 2017, 08:09:43 AM
Wow that's messed up. It also isn't true. My gf is MtF like you but I'm not gay. What your bro said is stupid. Sure some dudes would reject a transgirl but there are plenty who wouldn't. A couple months ago my friends were talking about dating a transgirl. It got started cause a transgirl had started working at Starbucks and they were talking about her. So one dude asked everyone if they would go out with a transgirl. Two said no way. One said he would if she had had the surgery. One guy said he would date a transgirl even if she hadn't had surgery. He said if she was really pretty and feminine he could get past the guy parts as long as she would be cool with him never touching or playing with them. That dude was as far from being gay as you can get. Some guys act like a douche towards transwomen but there are also guys out there who can get past it. You say your bro is supportive but that was a mean ass thing to say. Might wanna try doing without his "support".
Lucas
I've had guys who met me at bars or work ask me out (granted they didn't know I was trans until after talking and texting on the phone for a few days) and after a few dates they told me that they asked their friends if they would date a trans girls and each one of them said no that it doesn't matter if she had the surgery that it's gay, I guess where you live does matter. One guy I did meet in person turned out his friend was my friend on Facebook and his friend showed him my picture asking him if he would date me even though I'm trans and he said yea, ironically we ended up meeting at work a year later and after our first date was when he told me that story, lol.
I also think a lot of guys have misconceptions about transwomen. A lot of dudes who say dating a transgirl is gay haven't ever met one in person. That they knew was trans anyway. Most of the transwomen people have seen in movies or TV have been played by guys in drag. They look like what they are. Dudes in women's clothes. And you have some transgirls who talk and act like gay men. YouTube is full of those. So guys get really confused about the whole thing. I didn't really understand mtfs that well myself until I started dating one. Im not saying you should deceive anyone but you might let a guy get to know you a little before you tell him you're trans. Let him get to know you as a person and a woman a little bit.
Lucas
Quote from: Transdude on May 27, 2017, 09:17:05 AM
I also think a lot of guys have misconceptions about transwomen. A lot of dudes who say dating a transgirl is gay haven't ever met one in person. That they knew was trans anyway. Most of the transwomen people have seen in movies or TV have been played by guys in drag. They look like what they are. Dudes in women's clothes. And you have some transgirls who talk and act like gay men. YouTube is full of those. So guys get really confused about the whole thing. I didn't really understand mtfs that well myself until I started dating one. Im not saying you should deceive anyone but you might let a guy get to know you a little before you tell him you're trans. Let him get to know you as a person and a woman a little bit.
Lucas
wouldnt that work against me though? I mean I've met guys who tried to stay open minded and told me if I hadn't told them they wouldn't have been interested, I've also met guys who said they would rather me not have told them, but those guys usually just want head or sex, the ones who said they were glad I told them from the get go were all guys who wanted to date me and actually did.
If telling them up front has worked for you then go with it. I thought guys were rejecting you when you told them.
Quote from: Transdude on May 27, 2017, 09:42:20 AM
If telling them up front has worked for you then go with it. I thought guys were rejecting you when you told them.
only some, but they told me they wouldn't have been interested even if I hadn't told them for awhile, they did tell me that if I hadn't told them they would have gotten even more pissed about it. I waited to tell one guy who Tried to get my number for 3 months, but every time he came to Home Depot he missed me by so many mins so he ended up just giving his card to the head cashier to give to me and when the head cashier gave it to me, me and the guy talked for 5 days 2 hours each phone call and then the day we was supposed to go out I told him and he said that was a first and that he was ok with it, but then stood me up and I never heard from him since.
It was very wrong of them to hurt you like that. However they were right in some ways. Its extremely rare for guys that are actually totally straight to be with pre-op tgirls. Some exceptions apply if the tgirl is extremely passable where no one would ever know, is hyperfeminine and if the guy falls for her without knowing and later finds out but too late since he is already emotionally involved.
The only time I see totally straight guys with tgirls is when she is postop and either he is open minded from the get go or she first makes him fall for her and then later reveals.
Quote from: Riya88 on May 27, 2017, 01:28:37 PM
It was very wrong of them to hurt you like that. However they were right in some ways. Its extremely rare for guys that are actually totally straight to be with pre-op tgirls. Some exceptions apply if the tgirl is extremely passable where no one would ever know, is hyperfeminine and if the guy falls for her without knowing and later finds out but too late since he is already emotionally involved.
The only time I see totally straight guys with tgirls is when she is postop and either he is open minded from the get go or she first makes him fall for her and then later reveals.
so then the guys who ive dated are straight since they never knew when they asked me out.
Edit: I just asked my most recent ex and he told me that if I didn't look female and wasn't pretty he wouldn't have took me out after I told him and I asked him why and he said because he's not gay. Granted I told him 4 hours after he asked for my number.
Sorry he said that. Utterly stupid thing to say and shows his own insecurity and if you truly have to worry about violence from him, then i would distance myself from him as much as possible. Finally, the obsession with labeling people according to their sexual preference is also stupid, inaccurate, outdated and also another sign of someone's insecurity.
Oh and i dispute the idea that "straight" guys do not go with pre-op women as the poster above ascertained. Evidence from others and personal experience would say otherwise.
sorry you have to deal with that
God, how many times have I had to listen to this ->-bleeped-<- from my own family. As far as I know, we are all "just ->-bleeped-<-s that don't want to admit it". People refuse to accept that not everything determines whether you're straight or gay. There "is no bi. It's one way or the other." I would say if it comes to this situation again, keep a baseball bat handy, in case your brother gets handy. You should never have to bite your tongue due to your brothers intolerance. If he goes on the attack, crack him a good one and ask if he thinks coming at you was a wise decision. I'm not saying go nuts and put him in the hospital. You'll go to jail for that one. But nail him just enough to show him that you're not going to hide your thoughts just to make him comfortable, and that if he tries anything again, you will defend yourself by whatever means are necessary. I ended up temporarily putting my brother in a wheel chair when he attacked me. he hasn't even looked at me cross eyed since. And he's 13 years older than me. But then out of the 3 of us I'm also the biggest. And the meanest.
I don't think these labels matter at all...Judging by your pic, you look 100% female so these guys are interested in women. Most importantly they're interested in YOU, nothing else should matter, the way they identify shouldn't matter. Why focus on that? If your dad and brother believe they're bi, gay or whatever then ask them "so what? who cares?" I think this process allows us to understand that just like gender isn't black or white, sexual orientation isn't either and that's it. You can't expect cis straight men (the most basic species in the entire universe) to understand that, but what you can definitely do is not let them get to you.
Quote from: Jennifer RachaelAnn on May 28, 2017, 07:48:53 PM
God, how many times have I had to listen to this ->-bleeped-<- from my own family. As far as I know, we are all "just ->-bleeped-<-s that don't want to admit it". People refuse to accept that not everything determines whether you're straight or gay. There "is no bi. It's one way or the other." I would say if it comes to this situation again, keep a baseball bat handy, in case your brother gets handy. You should never have to bite your tongue due to your brothers intolerance. If he goes on the attack, crack him a good one and ask if he thinks coming at you was a wise decision. I'm not saying go nuts and put him in the hospital. You'll go to jail for that one. But nail him just enough to show him that you're not going to hide your thoughts just to make him comfortable, and that if he tries anything again, you will defend yourself by whatever means are necessary. I ended up temporarily putting my brother in a wheel chair when he attacked me. he hasn't even looked at me cross eyed since. And he's 13 years older than me. But then out of the 3 of us I'm also the biggest. And the meanest.
I really don't think getting physical over some petty comment is the best advice. You can't really fight ignorance, is best to ignore it and move on, it's not worth it.
Yea, like others have said if a guy fell in love with you or was very attracted to you as a woman, and before he ever new you are trans, then they are straight most definitely.
If he accepts it afterwards and still decides to go out with you that does not make him gay either, he obviously sees you as a woman.
This is why I hate ->-bleeped-<-s, they are by the very object they are chasing gay, and 99% of the time see us as no more than sexual objects. A good percentage of those would not even be interested in a trans woman if she is post op.
You bro is definitely wrong in his assumption.
I'm sure there are guys that may also fall in love with a cis girl, and just because they go out with a woman or trans woman does not make them any less bi either.
Quote from: Rachel_Christina on May 30, 2017, 12:13:38 PM
Yea, like others have said if a guy fell in love with you or was very attracted to you as a woman, and before he ever new you are trans, then they are straight most definitely.
If he accepts it afterwards and still decides to go out with you that does not make him gay either, he obviously sees you as a woman.
This is why I hate ->-bleeped-<-s, they are by the very object they are chasing gay, and 99% of the time see us as no more than sexual objects. A good percentage of those would not even be interested in a trans woman if she is post op.
You bro is definitely wrong in his assumption.
I'm sure there are guys that may also fall in love with a cis girl, and just because they go out with a woman or trans woman does not make them any less bi either.
Be careful with that, hate will eat you alive. Dehumanizing a person with a pejorative label is pretty much what all of us here would like to see disappear from the earth. It's disappointing to see people here doing it themselves. :(
Hugs, Devlyn
Hey Devlyn, I know what you mean.
I don't literally mean hate, it's just a word used lightly, I'm not one to study my posts to make sure I havent offended anyone, I never go out to do that, I'm just super lax when I type and don't care to much, also I'm pretty crud when it comes to things like righting anyway.
But I just think people seeking out trans people specifically kind of shows they don't see us as normal women.
I mean I am sure there or some that maybe finds our story's and or maybe our courage attractive.
But in general it's only one thing they are after
I have seen the term "->-bleeped-<-" before. What does that mean?
Basically means they are bisexual because the only reason they would go out with a transgender is the tits and penis part, they couldn't care less if you look manly, If you have tits or wear a bra and a penis they will go out/hookup with you. Those types of call themselves straight, but are usually the ones that would hook up with a feminine gay boy.
Oh ok. Ewww!
It's also a term that people sometimes use to project their own self loathing onto someone that they deem flawed enough to love them.
hed beat you up if you disagreed??? >:( wow....sorry but that's not a supportive brother....honestly gay bi and straight are just human made labels they aren't real hard scientific things despite what some may say... your brother doesn't know what hes talking about....almost no gay males actually are into trans women and almost all who are are just into cis and trans women...just ignore him :-\
also to those who "HATE" "->-bleeped-<-s" you must hate yourself than too cause the fact that someone likes ALL of you shouldn't be a reason to hate someone....your hating on a sexual preference which is no different than hating on gays, bi's etc...
You are really missing the boat their Roseanna.
If someone falls in love with a woman, and turns out she is trans but he is able to put that aside and love her anyway, that is beautiful. And fair play to him to put his heart before the views of others.
But a ->-bleeped-<- is literally, after the fact your trans, not the fact your a woman.
I don't 'hate' them but I really don't like what they are at. I get there messages on Instagram all the time, and it ain't nice or because they love all of me lol
Younger people are usually experimenting with their sexuality, but as they get older, say 40's and 50's, guys usually settle into what they want to do. Older people who say hurtful things, are usually uneducated on things tg, and even when they are, can be ignorant.
Yar. If your brother says that and you cant correct him without fear of violence he isnt supportive at all.
Quote from: Rachel_Christina on May 30, 2017, 11:57:14 PM
You are really missing the boat their Roseanna.
If someone falls in love with a woman, and turns out she is trans but he is able to put that aside and love her anyway, that is beautiful. And fair play to him to put his heart before the views of others.
But a ->-bleeped-<- is literally, after the fact your trans, not the fact your a woman.
I don't 'hate' them but I really don't like what they are at. I get there messages on Instagram all the time, and it ain't nice or because they love all of me lol
YES! to that
It's upsetting that your brother isn't accepting. I'm sure it would be nice to have a sibling that accepted you :) I'm only child sooo I can't really relate, but hopefully your brother comes around soon.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and he prefers trans women. He knew I was trans before we dated. I would have to agree with Roseana that if someone loves all of you, you shouldn't hate them. My bf doesn't solely go for trans girls, but heavily prefers them. Like if I had an exact twin, he'd go for the trans version :) I don't think he is a ->-bleeped-<- anymore than I am a cis-women ->-bleeped-<- because I prefer a vagina on a woman. Just preference :) Then I think there is the alternative that, like Angelique said, doesn't care if your extremely masculine looking and identify as a trans-women and they pursue rather aggressively with a fixation on the genitals.
Quote from: Rachel_Christina on May 30, 2017, 11:57:14 PM
But a ->-bleeped-<- is literally, after the fact your trans, not the fact your a woman.
It's no different than a guy who likes Asian or Latin women and looks only for those types because that's what they like. I understand where you're coming from but I really don't think all "->-bleeped-<-s" are bad. The way I see it, they like trans women for the thing that the women usually hate about themselves (the fact that they're trans) which is what makes the trans girls reject these men. But I'm sure there's men out there who are attracted to trans women and can be respectful and take them seriously, not as sex objects.
I, for one, couldn't care less if a guy is interested in me for being trans, if he's a ->-bleeped-<-, or bi or whatever he wants to label himself as. As long as he's respectful and likes me for me, and doesn't see me like some sort of toy to experiment with, I'm fine.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on May 31, 2017, 09:54:12 AM
As long as he's respectful and likes me for me, and doesn't see me like some sort of toy to experiment with, I'm fine.
That would be a fine situation. I can maybe get the idea that some like the idea of the struggle we maybe been through, see us as strong women or something for being able to deal with it, but other than that I can't see why anyone would deliberately seek out a trans woman. Other than the usual reason they do.
I mean in the end of the day we want to be seen as women, for me I could not deal with the fact that someone seaked me out for this reason.
If they seaked a woman, and found me, then realised I was trans but didn't care because they really liked me that is totally different. That is a nice situation. And fair play to any man who does do that for one of us.
That's just my view, I do not hate ->-bleeped-<- again, I would just not be interested in someone who came after me just because of that fact.
Anyway a better question is what do y'all think the ->-bleeped-<- is chasing anyway, generally seaking?
As for myself if I knew a guy had a keen interest in my boy parts then that would be a turn off. But that is just me. Its one thing if a guy can get past the fact you have it. But to know he was specifically seeking it would bother me. As for a guy playing with my boy parts, with the boyfriends I have had that was never high on their agenda. That usually came later after we had been together for a bit. And it was more about them wanting to get me off as well than it was about them having a huge desire to mess with boy parts. After I told a guy I was trans there were 3 questions that always put me off of them if they asked.
1. How big is your dick?
2. Are you functional?
3. Do you top?
Also if they referred to it as dick or cock that put me off.
This is just me and my feelings about this topic. I am not saying what anyone else does or likes is wrong.
Quote from: Cimara on May 31, 2017, 11:41:50 AM
As for myself if I knew a guy had a keen interest in my boy parts then that would be a turn off. But that is just me. Its one thing if a guy can get past the fact you have it. But to know he was specifically seeking it would bother me. As for a guy playing with my boy parts, with the boyfriends I have had that was never high on their agenda. That usually came later after we had been together for a bit. And it was more about them wanting to get me off as well than it was about them having a huge desire to mess with boy parts. After I told a guy I was trans there were 3 questions that always put me off of them if they asked.
1. How big is your dick?
2. Are you functional?
3. Do you top?
Also if they referred to it as dick or cock that put me off.
This is just me and my feelings about this topic. I am not saying what anyone else does or likes is wrong.
i agree. Also if they ask for proof, that's just to get a pic of your dick for their own pleasure.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 30, 2017, 05:06:21 PM
It's also a term that people sometimes use to project their own self loathing onto someone that they deem flawed enough to love them.
Unbelievable.
Girls,
There is nothing good about ->-bleeped-<-s. Cant believe there are people here who support them here.
Couldn't agree anymore with Rachel_Christina
I support all people. There's no room for hate in this world.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 31, 2017, 03:46:59 PM
I support all people. There's no room for hate in this world.
Hugs, Devlyn
You are missing the point. No one is hating them, but one also needs to be cautious of things that are not good for them. That's not hating, that's looking out for our own self.
The point that's missing here I think is simple. What really differentiates a trans woman from just any woman? I mean, people talked about distinct preferences: Asian, Black, etc. Sure, it's one thing to prefer or be attracted to certain kinds of people but that doesn't mean you'll seek them out specifically.
Just because I am trans doesn't mean I see myself differently from any other woman, except for reproductive ability and a medical past. When a man says he prefers a trans woman to another woman, he's telling in your face that he sees you differently from other women. That can be flattering to some, but doesn't mean it has to be the same way to everyone.
Also, it's one thing for a person to have fetish for you vs. being attached to you, loving you. The first is fine if you are just looking for little flings, but it can get old fast. But the guys we are talking about are often disrespectful and only want you in the dark. We are not talking about guys who fall in love with a woman who happens to be trans. We talking about guys who take advantage of a medical condition and the neediness many ts girls and women feel. That's not flattering at all.
Quote from: Aurorasky on May 31, 2017, 04:23:20 PM
The point that's missing here I think is simple. What really differentiates a trans woman from just any woman? I mean, people talked about distinct preferences: Asian, Black, etc. Sure, it's one thing to prefer or be attracted to certain kinds of people but that doesn't mean you'll seek them out specifically.
Just because I am trans doesn't mean I see myself differently from any other woman, except for reproductive ability and a medical past. When a man says he prefers a trans woman to another woman, he's telling in your face that he sees you differently from other women. That can be flattering to some, but doesn't mean it has to be the same way to everyone.
Also, it's one thing for a person to have fetish for you vs. being attached to you, loving you. The first is fine if you are just looking for little flings, but it can get old fast. But the guys we are talking about are often disrespectful and only want you in the dark. We are not talking about guys who fall in loe with a woman who happens to be trans. We talking about guys who take advantage of a medical condition and the neediness many ts girls and women feel. That's not flattering at all.
Very well explained. Totally agree with you.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on May 30, 2017, 10:20:55 AM
I really don't think getting physical over some petty comment is the best advice. You can't really fight ignorance, is best to ignore it and move on, it's not worth it.
True, but when it comes to self preservation, sometimes you have to do things you don't like. It's about self defense, not aggression. As Angelique said, he would have attacked her if she said anything. Is she supposed to just lay back and let him do what he wanted, or was she to defend herself? If she doesn't have the physical strength to overpower her brother, then what's left? And what's better? Being able to walk away from the situation afterward or a trip to the ER?
Quote from: Jennifer RachaelAnn on May 31, 2017, 07:50:03 PM
True, but when it comes to self preservation, sometimes you have to do things you don't like. It's about self defense, not aggression. As Angelique said, he would have attacked her if she said anything. Is she supposed to just lay back and let him do what he wanted, or was she to defend herself? If she doesn't have the physical strength to overpower her brother, then what's left? And what's better? Being able to walk away from the situation afterward or a trip to the ER?
I believe what she was condoning was not saying anything that would result in a physical confrontation in the first place. If Angelique believed that saying something would cause her brother to react, then not saying anything and being passive is the best course of action to avoid an altercation. Self defense is completely different. Unfortunately in this case, she felt that verbally sticking up for herself would be "instigating". The safest approach is to bite your tongue and walk away....which I agree with as I'm also not looking to be forced into physically defending myself if it can be avoided...no matter how hard it hurts my feelings. If the other party makes it physical and it can't be avoided....then defending yourself is the last and only remaining option.
Quote from: Aurorasky on May 31, 2017, 04:23:20 PM
Just because I am trans doesn't mean I see myself differently from any other woman, except for reproductive ability and a medical past. When a man says he prefers a trans woman to another woman, he's telling in your face that he sees you differently from other women.
But we ARE different than cis women. The day we learn to not only accept it but actually embrace it we'll be happier and stop worrying about all these labels.
I just feel like it's better to focus on finding someone who can respect us regardless if they like pre-op or post-op. I have a hard time comprehending the concept of "I want someone to love me for me except these guys who look for someone exactly like me. No, I want a guy who is looking for something else but sees past it and accepts me".
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Quote from: Charlie Nicki on May 31, 2017, 09:05:19 PM
But we ARE different than cis women. The day we learn to not only accept it but actually embrace it we'll be happier and stop worrying about all these labels.
I just feel like it's better to focus on finding someone who can respect us regardless if they like pre-op or post-op. I have a hard time comprehending the concept of "I want someone to love me for me except these guys who look for someone exactly like me. No, I want a guy who is looking for something else but sees past it and accepts me".
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we might be different, but I wouldn't want a guy to treat me any different than he would treat a Cis female. I wouldn't want a guy who is attracted to me as a transgender. I dated a guy who was that way and all he did was compare me to his ex transgenders (who were legit porn stars) telling me I needed to get all the plastic surgery they got, such as breasts,hips,and thigh implants. Yea no thanks, I'm not going to date a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s because they won't see me as just a woman and a lot of them have sick expectations on what a transgender should look like and what we should do in bed. He actually wanted me to screw him in the butt and got mad when I said no.
I agree with Angelique men who expect us to get all of these surgical procedures aren't interested in us they want a pornstar lookalike to fulfil their fetish. Dating someone like this is only going to lead to them constantly criticizing you and wanting you to change and get more surgery. Eventually it will break you down and have you feeling worthless. hips and thigh implants? i know they do that in mexico but didn't think it was that poopular hey. I know girls go and get silicone and that is in my opinion a huge no no and only temporary until it turns rock hard and then you want to get it removed. The audacity of some men...
Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 31, 2017, 09:21:45 PM
we might be different, but I wouldn't want a guy to treat me any different than he would treat a Cis female. I wouldn't want a guy who is attracted to me as a transgender. I dated a guy who was that way and all he did was compare me to his ex transgenders (who were legit porn stars) telling me I needed to get all the plastic surgery they got, such as breasts,hips,and thigh implants. Yea no thanks, I'm not going to date a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s because they won't see me as just a woman and a lot of them have sick expectations on what a transgender should look like and what we should do in bed. He actually wanted me to screw him in the butt and got mad when I said no.
That guy sounds like a piece of trash, good riddance. But I have to point out that there are guys in relationships with cisgender girls who also expect them to change their looks and even personality to appeal their fantasies, so this is not a trait of "->-bleeped-<-s" is a trait of (insert expletive word).
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I used to know a guy that was so domineering he eventually ended up getting run out of town. Literally. He would hook up with a woman, and right away he would make demands about her appearance. If she was brunette or redhead, he would try to force her to dye her hair blonde or wear a wig. If she was small chested, he would try to force her to get a boob job, and even afterward wear only pushup bras. He would try to control her makeup. She would get her makeup done and if he didn't approve, he would make her return to the bathroom, clean every tiny scrap of makeup off and start over. He gained a reputation for being above and beyond abusive in many different ways around town and eventually no girl/woman whatever would even give him the time of day. He was the sickest man I can think of that I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. I heard in a roundabout way, that he got so (I don't know what word. Sick, depressed, angry, whatever) that he ended up killing himself. He even left demands on his own funeral. A bastard to the end. Good riddance. The world has more than enough ->-bleeped-<-s, we don't need his tyranny.
But I would be willing to bet that the citizens of Hell like him fairly well.
You are so pretty!
It is extremely hard for a guy to acknoledge that a guy who have a relationship or just sex with a transgerder doesn't have to be gay.
It has nothing to do with a homerotic experience. It's way different.
Maybe he will broaden his perspective. I hope.