I hate gender dysphoria! The only thing that seems to help are amphetamines that my psychiatrist prescribed.
Who agrees that gender dysphoria sucks and wished it would go away?
I think dysphoria is a two edged sword. Without it we wouldn't be compelled to do something about it, but living with it is horrible.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Amphetamines??? For gender dysphoria???
Hi Karenk!
Dysphoria sucks by definition. If it didn't suck, it wouldn't be dysphoria. Not sure how amphetamines could help, unless the base problem is something else... They may cause some euphoria, but it's more a way of numbing the dysphoria and certainly not its solution. My dysphoria began going away the day a took my foot out of the break of shame and started being who I feel I've always been - a woman. The experience of others may be (and certainly is) different, but in more than 40 years of attempts to find a simpler solution, I came to one conclusion: I'm done feeling dysphoric and I'm transitioning. Never been so good from my dysphoria... Caffeine and theine are the only stimulants I take, with parcimony. Girl's dope does the rest... 😉
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I agree. I would never ever EVER, even on my worst and most evil day wish this on my worst enemy. Even if I had one.
Its bad enough that some of us have to wrestle with this. And many of us only come up with alcohol and drug abuse as well as suicide for an answer.
For some of us, not understanding what's going on with us, the discovery that there is actually a name such as "gender dysphoria syndrome" comes as a shock at first, and then sometimes relief at the knowing that we 'aren't really alone'.
But we are.
Family and friends fall away because they don't understand, and what's worse; they don't want to.
We're evil, we're weird, we're sick, we're twisted, we're sex fiends. Nothing that we can do will change such mindless hatred.
And what's the worst for me, is the dis-acceptance and talk behind my back by three of my four adult children.
I've been forbidden to see two grandchildren who live across the country from me. Their father moved there and made it clear that he wanted no contact with me. "The father I knew is dead".
The other two disapprove of my choice to proceed with my decision to undergo surgery.
Hell, they had enough trouble with my diagnosis!!
But the worst thing of all for me is the knowledge that despite my best efforts to knit together a semblance of family while my children were growing up, despite my best efforts at fighting for my right to see and visit with my children (long before my dysphoria was even known of), and despite my best efforts at being close to my children, those 'bonds', that 'weave', 'knit', call it what you will... It was broken so easily.
Only my relationship with my daughter remains true. I do talk to my oldest son two or three times a year, and one son will talk to me and tells me that he is reconciled to my right to go ahead with my life. But that second son has spoken rudely and vilely about my choices, even speaking that way to one of my daughter's children, my middle grandson.
I have been accepted by my three grandchildren by my daughter. They even call me 'grandma! My daughter has honored me for years as both mother and father because I "was always there". Through everything, I did make it my 'reason for being' to 'be there's for all of my children.
But sadly, it's sometimes... oftentimes just not enough. And for me, nothing could ever hurt worse.
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Quote from: CharleeGrrl on May 27, 2017, 12:22:46 PM
I agree. I would never ever EVER, even on my worst and most evil day wish this on my worst enemy. Even if I had one.
I don't know about that, you actually might be on to something :). If I could give all those bigot trolls just a glimpse, I think they might understand that this does actually exist and it's not a choice that can just be turned off.
Totally agree with you it sucks
Quote from: staciM on May 27, 2017, 12:32:39 PM
I don't know about that, you actually might be on to something :). If I could give all those bigot trolls just a glimpse, I think they might understand that this does actually exist and it's not a choice that can just be turned off.
Agreed!
Quote from: karenk1959 on May 27, 2017, 11:27:12 AM
I hate gender dysphoria! The only thing that seems to help are amphetamines that my psychiatrist prescribed.
Are there other issues that are treated with amphetamines? Long term use of amphetamines can CAUSE more problems.
Quote from: AnneK on May 27, 2017, 11:54:42 AM
Amphetamines??? For gender dysphoria???
If this is your only issue that you discussed with your psychiatrist, then you really need to get a second opinion.
Gender dysphoria does indeed suck [emoji854]
It was one of the reasons while I dropped out of college....
Then again I doubt I would know I was trans without it tbh
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Quote from: staciM on May 27, 2017, 12:32:39 PM
I don't know about that, you actually might be on to something :). If I could give all those bigot trolls just a glimpse, I think they might understand that this does actually exist and it's not a choice that can just be turned off.
Too true. Because it's not measureable, it cannot exist. And we, the afflicted are therefore mentally ill.
Trolls? I don't know that I'd be so rude to trolls so as to call these bigoted misogynistic ->-bleeped-<-s 'trolls'. We need another word to describe these unwashed and self righteous morons.
You have anything?
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I don't think you will get any argument about dysphoria sucking! It does. That's why it's called dysphoria.
I don't know about the speed, though. The only thing that helps dysphoria is making progress (even a little bit) towards becoming yourself.
For all of you that seem to question the use of amphetamines, do any of you have a cup of coffee in the morning? Caffeine is a stimulant and amphetamines are stimulants. In low doses they lift one's mood not unlike a cup of coffee, which is a good thing when your mood is in a hole from dysphoria. Any of you on anti-depressants? Oh, they're good for mood disorders. Are people on anti-depressants not addressing their real issue? In other words, you don't like to be judged by anyone for whatever you think is good for you, so don't judge me. Otherwise, you are hypocritical. I see a university-based published, psychiatrist whom is helping me deal with my dysphoria. Since it absolutely sucks on so many levels, that is a good thing!
Holy cats, does it ever! Just a an hour ago i looked at myself in the mirror & started crying. I'm still just starting my transition & will likely have to appear male in public for the next 6-8 months :-\. I've got a plan & timetable, but evey day now feels like a week! Hoping to start HRT within the next couple months. I can't decide whether the dysphoria better or worse since i finally decided to do something about it. At least my depression has been somewhat replaced by anticipation.
I made a decision and dealt with it .... the bad thing was it took 55 years to act on the solution :) :) ...... doesnt suck any more
when it gets me these days it gets me bad....took me awhile last time....yeah Dysphoria sucks
Disphoria is like your own private nightmare.
I wish for everyone who agrees that dysphoria sucks that they find resolution and peace! I don't think transitioning will do it for me. I already know by communicating with my wife that my marriage would be over. I doubt I would be at peace after losing my soulmate and the love of my life. Just as I am wired as a woman in a man's body, she is wired not to be attracted to a trans woman and I don't blame her or judge her for that. And please don't tell me that I will never be happy unless I transition. I have a choice as to the life I wish to lead as we all do.
Quote from: karenk1959 on May 30, 2017, 08:44:02 AM
I don't think transitioning will do it for me. I already know by communicating with my wife that my marriage would be over. I doubt I would be at peace after losing my soulmate and the love of my life. Just as I am wired as a woman in a man's body, she is wired not to be attracted to a trans woman and I don't blame her or judge her for that.
Karen,
I think I can relate to where you're coming from. I'm guessing from your user name that you're about three years younger than me. I don't plan to transition for the same reason you said. I can't bear to think about losing my wife. I believe there are steps those of us who don't transition can take to ease the dysphoria. Just doing "girl things" helps me a bit (shaving my arms and legs, working on developing a feminine voice I can use from time-to-time, getting a manicure). None of these scream out "female" to those that know me but they help me cope with the dysphoria.
Even (or especially) being treated as a woman on this site is reaffirming.
I hope you can find some similar things that work for you.
Becky
Quote from: brie33 on May 29, 2017, 11:20:22 PM"I made a decision and dealt with it ....
the bad thing was it took ... years to act on the solution :) :) ......
doesnt suck any more"
Quote from: karenk1959 on May 27, 2017, 11:27:12 AM
I hate gender dysphoria! The only thing that seems to help are amphetamines that my psychiatrist prescribed.
Who agrees that gender dysphoria sucks and wished it would go away?
I agree that it sucks. I hate having to make "changes" in my life just to fit who I am inside. However, if my parents had been honest with themselves and with me (in the early 60's.. as IF!) when I first was discovered dressing at age 5, I could have grown up female instead of as a 'boy', and I'd find being female now to be as natural to me as breathing air.
I don't find any gender role truly easy, but I 'carry myself like a woman', and always have. I had to seriously suppress that for years, but now that that genie's out of the bottle...!
Using amphetamines "just to get through the day" is a cheat, and potentially very harmful. I don't know how you feel, but getting out there and going to local groups would be one way of getting more comfortable with yourself, and being more comfortable with yourself is the most important thing to be learned. And you cannot do that by taking drugs.
Take it from me; 25 years in AA and NA has taught me that taking drugs, even those prescribed by a licensed medical doctor ONLY TEACHES ONE TO BE DEPENDENT ON THOSE DRUGS.
Read the AA Big Book or the NA Book. It will open your eyes, just as it has for anyone I know who actually has read either.
One more thing; you CAN DO THIS!
Just try. Start with your hair; get it 'son's every month. Find a hairstylist who is willing to work with you and get it washed and styled.
Then move to a little makeup. Most Avon and Mary Kay dealers will happily help you in finding the right products and colors. That's their bread and butter! A good customer is worth it all to any one of them. Just be open and honest.
Then, wardrobe. There are lots of companies out there and on the web that can help, not to mention any one of your sisters right here.
Last, lose the fear of going out dressed and made up. Pierce those ears! Get a tattoo! Do whatever it takes, but don't be afraid! "Fear is the mind-killer". (Dune; Paul Atreides). Don't let your fears control you. Our fears are all of our own making. That is why they are "our fears".
With All My Love To You,
Charlee
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Yes, it does. Even now after 9 months of hormones and passing as much as a cid gender woman does I'm still pre <not allowed> op. I'm still laying out plans to have the SRS, which sadly here in Brazil is a lot more restricted to access than in America and Europe. I'm thinking about health insurance because in August I'm gonna have my name and legal gender changed so I guess I have real chances of getting them to pay. But while I have a plan, waiting just sucks. I can't even begin to describe how much I hate this rotten, stupid, useless and ridiculous piece of meat that has caused me nothing but havoc and trouble. I have tried to mutilate myself more than once already. I just don't get it, everything else in my body is just perfect, my face, my arms, my voice..the only thing that's wrong is the damn <not allowed>. Why was it born there? Why? It has served me no good. It made me feel confused, sad and suicidal. Why is it there? I'm telling you, if there is a god, he is one big son of a bitch for making this useless <not allowed> grow in me. I want a penis in me not on me.
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