Hello, I an 18 year old student, I am in a dilema, Recently I started wondering if I might be transgender, the reason why is because I started recalling my outh where I would sometimes use female pronouns and want to wear female costumes etc. I was born male with parents born in the 60's so they were quick to oppress anything that wasn't boyish, when I went through puberty I started having feelings for girls, except, I would always imagine myself having lesbian sex with girls I was into, I'm very confused and scared, I would have no problem if I were just gay, but if I'm trans I don't know how I could get that out of me :(, I've been very scared for the past few days since I've been raised in a masculine environment so if I turn out to be a gay woman I wouldn't know what to do, please if ou can, help me figure things out.
Welcome to Susan's Place. Being transgender means that you are uncomfortable with your birth gender. Sexual preference as with somebody not transgender could be heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual or asexual. Gender identity and sexual preference are independent of each other.
You may not know the answers now, but we are here to help you find them. Many of us transitioned and are happy as the result. Others haven't transitioned but have found ways to be comfortable with themselves. To help you start looking for the answer, I am giving you two links. The first is our WIKI (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) where you will learn what transgender is. The second link is "the transition channel" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) where a gender therapist will help you explore your feelings. Feel free to ask questions in this thread and we will answer your questions.
We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Hi and welcome to the forum!!! I would advise you find a therapist in your area that specializes in gender issues... The WPATH website has providers listed by area... The therapist should be able to help you sort this stuff out....If you do end up on the other side of that with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria... Fear not!!!... It is not a death sentence!!! :) ... You are young and have a lifetime of amazing things before you no matter what is currently troubling you!!! All will be well :)
Onward we go!!!
Ashley :)
Hi HallsiKallsi
I'm Laurie and want to welcome you to Susan's Place. I may be a bit older than you but I can tell you I went through virtually the same kind of thing you are going through now. The only difference was we didn't have resources like the internet to help discover what was wrong with us. Like you we know from our parents and peers that what we were doing was "wrong" despite how right it felt. We were taught that we were sick. We were perverts. Boys just didn't do the things we were doing. So we hid it. We suppressed it. But no matter what we did we could not stop it. That is because it is a part of who we are.
These day we have resources to use to help us understand what it is we are doing and more importantly why. That was one thing we never could figure out. Why were did what we did and felt the way we felt. Now days we have people that can help us figure these things out and help us cope with them. I'm meeting with my therapist on a regular basis to help me with my gender issues at 64 years of age. I've been wrestling with my gender issue a really long time and now I am getting the help I need to figure them out.
As the others have said this would be a good place for you to start. If you are still in school perhaps you can talk with a counselor who can get you started in the right direction. I hope you do not have to spend years without answers the way a lot of us have.
Glad you found us and hope you keep coming back.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi
I know everyone is different
I was in the same age as you now when I first transition
I was 18
I also raised in VERY VERY masculine environment and very homophobic/transphobic too
The difference is by 18 I was 100% sure I'm trans girl and I need to transition
It's not easy I know that but you should see doctor about your case and see if you're trans or not
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Here are my thoughts of support and compassion to you. I know it is scary, but acknowledging your desires and emotions (instead of suppressing them in state of shame) is a very positive step in the right direction.
1) go and see a psychologist and discuss it with him/her. It doesn't mean that doctor would immediately prescribe you hormones and Direct towards transition. Probably quite opposite, a good one would strive to help your happiness without medical intervention.
2) try to find opportunities to cross dress and go out in public. I think it will help you to evaluate yourself, and give a glimpse as to what you could expect should you decide on a transition.
3) if you decide to have any steady partner, tell her about your transgenderness and don't settle with anyone who won't accept and embrace it fully. If you fail to do so, and decide to marry, there will be some resentment towards you for withholding such an important information.
Be strong, and enjoy all good sides of life in either gender.
Eli
It's a pretty silly thing to be scared of, if you get down to it. Don't be afraid of what you want/need, explore yourself, find out if it's you, and act.