Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Support groups => Topic started by: bridgermtns on June 07, 2017, 04:08:01 PM

Title: Employment
Post by: bridgermtns on June 07, 2017, 04:08:01 PM
Hi, I am early in transition, will have 1 month on hrt on Friday!  I am afraid of coming out at work, though I'm sure I won't start showing physically for another month at least. I am just considering my options but realizing that there is no way around telling people I am trans.  Ugh... I know I shouldn't be ashamed but I don't like the idea of being rejected and judged.  Curious to know what others have experienced?  I could always quit this job and try and get another when I have legally changed my name and ID but then they (employers) are still going to ask why all my references know me as male. This stuff is hard!

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Title: Re: Employment
Post by: Dena on June 07, 2017, 05:09:48 PM
At the minimum, you have 4-6 months before you will start showing detectable signs and I was able to go over 2 years without anybody noticing. Use this extra time to discuss this with your therapist and consider transitioning on the job. Your presentation may have a few rough edges at first so it's better having a job than trying to find a job where you are clocked at every interview. Unfortunately I lost my job just before I was ready to go full time and it would have been easer to transition on the job than go to job interviews hoping to land a new job.
Title: Re: Employment
Post by: bridgermtns on June 07, 2017, 05:11:12 PM
Thanks Dena. Glad to know I have some time.

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Title: Re: Employment
Post by: sophie1904 on June 07, 2017, 06:15:05 PM
While I agree with Dena, HRT can have the annoying effect of ruining best laid plans - aiming for a slow transition? Don't be surprised if your breasts appear in 3 months ... want big breasts? Expect tiny. Want small, concealable breasts - welcome to your new D cups :)

Now, obviously I'm being a little facetious however I'm learning rapidly that this is a journey and best laid plans are just that and your body will not necessarily co-operate so prepare for it being required sooner rather than later :)
Title: Re: Employment
Post by: bridgermtns on June 08, 2017, 12:05:41 AM
Interesting... Thanks Sophie 1904

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Title: Re: Employment
Post by: RobynD on June 09, 2017, 12:21:34 PM
Quote from: sophie1904 on June 07, 2017, 06:15:05 PM
While I agree with Dena, HRT can have the annoying effect of ruining best laid plans - aiming for a slow transition? Don't be surprised if your breasts appear in 3 months ... want big breasts? Expect tiny. Want small, concealable breasts - welcome to your new D cups :)

Now, obviously I'm being a little facetious however I'm learning rapidly that this is a journey and best laid plans are just that and your body will not necessarily co-operate so prepare for it being required sooner rather than later :)

So agree. I thought i might have slow breast growth. Nope. Fast and a D cup, and still growing.
Title: Re: Employment
Post by: bridgermtns on June 10, 2017, 12:41:15 AM
I was thinking I could use ace bandage and/or a sports bra.. but that probably wouldn't work so well if they were bigger. I don't want to hide either though.

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Title: Re: Employment
Post by: Dayta on June 10, 2017, 01:02:11 AM
I just went through transition at work after about 9 months of HRT.  My breasts were not so obvious under my usual uniform of polo shirts/slacks, even without any attempted concealment.  I elected to go public more because I had already changed my identity documents and was just waiting to get into a situation requiring producing my documents, such as for company travel or such things. 

I work in a Fortune 500 company in California, so besides local and state legal protections I had the benefit of a supportive corporate structure.  But even given all of that, I have been pleasantly surprised at the smoothness and ease of the transition.  Everyone has been generally supportive, including leadership all the way up, and a few people, including my immediate boss, have been very actively using my correct pronouns in demonstrative fashions, and correcting the occasional misgendering that's going to happen. 

I don't know what your specific employment situation is, but I'm working with some of these folks for 10-20 years, and they're all taking it in stride.  I'm really glad I did it now, and will be able to cite working here under my legal name going forward.  Meanwhile, I'm enjoying every day, and even wore a dress and boots to work today, first time ever! 

Erin