I am interested to know how folk feel about this question and would be really interested to hear any response from both mtf and ftm-I am interested to know how folk feel that their treatment has changed their behaviour in anyway?
I haven't noticed any difference that can't be attributed to simply being more comfortable with myself. I am slightly more assertive now, but I'm also more self-confident because people are now interacting with the real me.
Dennis
Quote from: suregirl on November 26, 2007, 11:09:17 AM
I am interested to know how folk feel about this question and would be really interested to hear any response from both mtf and ftm-I am interested to know how folk feel that their treatment has changed their behaviour in anyway?
La Dame Estrogen has changed my life in profound ways. I believe that many of those changes are due to estrogen re-routing many neural pathways in my physical brain.
It has changed the way I view my life. I am happy with myself.
I can see the differences between me as I am now and as I was just five years ago and I love the changes.
There are obvious physical changes and benefits. I appear a whole lot more feminine than I did in 2002.
I am more patient, a better listener, somehow I am more caring of others, extremely protective of my soulmate and lifepartner, and loving life. My depression is not as severe but I still have panic and anxiety attacks. Seems that they come in clusters.
I hope that this helps.
Wing Walker
Enjoying the Flight
Is it true that you will have headaches and will be full of regret because you are "defying nature" and that "it wont be natural"? Actually this question goes more specifically for having surgery..I know you'll have pain after the surgery but it doesnt last forever does it?...and these thoughts arent coming from me, its just that this is all I have heard from everyone so far(who obviously doesnt understand me)
Quote from: OtokoSuki on November 27, 2007, 06:58:48 AM
Is it true that you will have headaches and will be full of regret because you are "defying nature" and that "it wont be natural"? Actually this question goes more specifically for having surgery..I know you'll have pain after the surgery but it doesnt last forever does it?...and these thoughts arent coming from me, its just that this is all I have heard from everyone so far(who obviously doesnt understand me)
I don't know where the headaches part in your post came from but I have no regret. "It" feels natural to me. What wasn't natural was my penis. Surgery feels like you jumped off the roof of a two story house and landed on a picket fence post. Then they left the post in for a couple of days. But its a "good" pain. Like the pain a mother has after having a baby. No, it doesn't last forever.
Its been a long time since I started hormones. After I started them I remember feeling better about myself and my depression lifted a little.
sounds like the bull my parents came out with....
'hrt gave you that cold!' <-- yeah.... sure
'hrt is making you mentally ill and want to be a woman' <-- um yeah...
'its wrong and unnatural and will make you sick' <-- lol
tbh i dont know if it changed me, or i just became more comfortable in myself to behave like me...
R :police:
Quote from: suregirl on November 26, 2007, 11:09:17 AM
I am interested to know how folk feel about this question and would be really interested to hear any response from both mtf and ftm-I am interested to know how folk feel that their treatment has changed their behaviour in anyway?
I'm very different than I was before all this, BUT... I started changing *before* HRT, when I "broke" as I put it, and LET allllllll the games and mind tricks I'd invented to try and deal with this come crashing down.
In fact, even at 15 months HRT now and being fulltime for well over half a year, I just realized and mentioned to my wife,
"I have absolutely NO idea who I am now."Ironic, isn't? We transition to be "ourselves," and yet I don't even recognize myself anymore. Everything is new and ripe for exploration. FINALLY, Kate gets to grow up ;)
Now, how much of that was from HRT, and how much from re-socialization, coming out, etc.... I don't know.
~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on November 27, 2007, 11:12:46 AM
In fact, even at 15 months HRT now and being fulltime for well over half a year, I just realized and mentioned to my wife, "I have absolutely NO idea who I am now."
That started for me the moment I admitted to myself "who I've been" has never really been me. I don't know if that will feel any stronger after I start HRT, but it's hard to imagine feeling any more out of sync with myself. Up until I am able to begin HRT, I will just work on breaking down who I was so that who I am can replace it... For me, it's exciting and completely terrifying at the same time
i dunno, ive always known who i was... mainly that i didnt look like me :(
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on November 27, 2007, 09:29:13 AM
sounds like the bull my parents came out with....
'hrt is making you mentally ill and want to be a woman' <-- um yeah...
'its wrong and unnatural and will make you sick' <-- lol
tbh i dont know if it changed me, or i just became more comfortable in myself to behave like me...
R :police:
Yeah...thats exactly what I mean. They simply cannot accept it...
When I started estradiol alone summer '06 I noticed a change in the following weeks with adding stability of mood and a relief of feeling like I was not completely off track with the rest of the world. When the Doctor added the spiro, I didn't notice as much of a well being of self improvement or behavior change as much as other differences. Like hair line as well as realizing I was not drinking enough water. My case that coffee is water based didn't fair so well with my Doctor. ;)
I do feel however that you will become in touch & more emotional about some things,(usually in a good way) which our behavior follows our emotions.
Alexis
well for me,the changes were dramatic.Before i start hormones,i was a sex maniac (10-20 different lovers every weekend when i was dressed in drug). i was masturbating 5-8 times a day,i was arrogant,gayish,funny,sociable but something was really wrong.At the age of 18-19 i started estrogen (very small dose).Depression came along.At first not too noticable.I started not liking sex and my desire for true love and deep emotions knocked on my door.I was not ready.I started thinging suicide.But when i started passing,looking like a cute girl,i saw a sunshine in my life.Boys were falling in love.Of course i could never have sex with them anymore because i liked the respect part(so revieling my secret was not an option).However,that made me even more depressed.To sum up.
Pre Hormones______ great sex.good social life.the comedian (clawn ) among friends and classmates.arrogant,powerful,empty
After Hormones_________ emotional,sad,feminine looking(100% pass),sensitive.snob,mysterious,loveable.
A COMPLETE DIFFERENT PERSON.
am i happy now???NO.But i gave myself a chance to persuit hapinness.Why??Because i feel the new me is the real me.
PS:)I quit sex.
:police:
Well for me it started 7 years ago when I started hormones. It was before I started the hormones when I came out full time, yuck, I didn't pass to well back then and like I said earlier today I still aint no beauty queen. But I had run out of rope and I could only pick one direction to go in. I wasn't, nor was I ever even desired sex from neither a man or a woman. Although I did have had my time at admiring both sex. Sometimes jealous of the girls because of how they looked as well as having fantasies of being embraced by the hunks.
Shortly after starting the hormones was when I had a vision. I was standing in some type of ground fog, you know, like what you would see in spooky movies. I could hear a whimpering and I walked in the direction of the whimpering. I then looked down at a child, around 7 or 8 years old. She wore a blue satin dress with the white frilly hem and sleeves. Her head was leaning forward covering her face with her hands and intermitently she would wipe the tears with the back of her hands. She had beautiful dark brown ringleted hair. I knelt down in front of her then she looked at me with those dark brown eyes, and the tear stained cheeks that just tugged at my heart. I leaned forward so desiring to embrace her, but then it was like being hit by a burst of glowing energy with sparks flying hither and tither. Every inch of my body tingled, every hair on my body were standing up straight after which I believe I experienced every possible emotions on the human scale.
Well when I came back to I was still sitting in the same spot were I had been sitting before the experience. I believe that that night I had truly met the inner child *in person*. The emotions, I love them and wouldn't give them up for all the money in the world, even the negative ones. It has made me a much more appreciative, humble, caring and loving person.
I must admit that from reading a lot of the many posts in this group it truly has humbled me and I Great Spirit, my maker, which ever, for having guided me and protected me so that I have been spared some of the many problems and fears that many here that appear to be undergoing a difficult, troubling and fear filled time in their their transitioning. Whats there to be afraid? Whats the worst that can happen? "Die." One thing I can guarantee and that is you won't be here to see what happened. So live and enjoy life like it were your last day here. I love Cindy, she is a cool person once you meet her. One of you already has. :D
As for SRS yes it is painful and very uncomfortable and inconvenient for doing much more then lying down a lot. I love being who I am and still do not care for having sex with either man or woman although I have a fully functional clit. Wing Walker and I both feel the same way, intimacy fulfills our needs. But I would be a liar if I said I didn't ask myself the question you have all asked. Is this unnatural? Am I doing something against nature? I really don't think we are going against nature but more it is like correcting an error that nature "Boo, bood" on to begin with. Just enjoy life and the best way you can. My way of doing that is working with other people, which at the present time is volunteering for our Vancouver Renaissance Festival. Maybe get into a little acting, "hee, hee, hee" Love all you guys but I believe I should jump in the sack and sleep for a while.
I have never felt greater in my life as I did in the past 7 years.
So now this little 7 year old girl needs to go to bed.
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on December 11, 2007, 06:46:54 AM
Well for me it started 7 years ago when I started hormones. It was before I started the hormones when I came out full time, yuck, I didn't pass to well back then and like I said earlier today I still aint no beauty queen. But I had run out of rope and I could only pick one direction to go in. I wasn't, nor was I ever even desired sex from neither a man or a woman. Although I did have had my time at admiring both sex. Sometimes jealous of the girls because of how they looked as well as having fantasies of being embraced by the hunks.
Shortly after starting the hormones was when I had a vision. I was standing in some type of ground fog, you know, like what you would see in spooky movies. I could hear a whimpering and I walked in the direction of the whimpering. I then looked down at a child, around 7 or 8 years old. She wore a blue satin dress with the white frilly hem and sleeves. Her head was leaning forward covering her face with her hands and intermitently she would wipe the tears with the back of her hands. She had beautiful dark brown ringleted hair. I knelt down in front of her then she looked at me with those dark brown eyes, and the tear stained cheeks that just tugged at my heart. I leaned forward so desiring to embrace her, but then it was like being hit by a burst of glowing energy with sparks flying hither and tither. Every inch of my body tingled, every hair on my body were standing up straight after which I believe I experienced every possible emotions on the human scale.
Well when I came back to I was still sitting in the same spot were I had been sitting before the experience. I believe that that night I had truly met the inner child *in person*. The emotions, I love them and wouldn't give them up for all the money in the world, even the negative ones. It has made me a much more appreciative, humble, caring and loving person.
I must admit that from reading a lot of the many posts in this group it truly has humbled me and I Great Spirit, my maker, which ever, for having guided me and protected me so that I have been spared some of the many problems and fears that many here that appear to be undergoing a difficult, troubling and fear filled time in their their transitioning. Whats there to be afraid? Whats the worst that can happen? "Die." One thing I can guarantee and that is you won't be here to see what happened. So live and enjoy life like it were your last day here. I love Cindy, she is a cool person once you meet her. One of you already has. :D
As for SRS yes it is painful and very uncomfortable and inconvenient for doing much more then lying down a lot. I love being who I am and still do not care for having sex with either man or woman although I have a fully functional clit. Wing Walker and I both feel the same way, intimacy fulfills our needs. But I would be a liar if I said I didn't ask myself the question you have all asked. Is this unnatural? Am I doing something against nature? I really don't think we are going against nature but more it is like correcting an error that nature "Boo, bood" on to begin with. Just enjoy life and the best way you can. My way of doing that is working with other people, which at the present time is volunteering for our Vancouver Renaissance Festival. Maybe get into a little acting, "hee, hee, hee" Love all you guys but I believe I should jump in the sack and sleep for a while.
I have never felt greater in my life as I did in the past 7 years.
So now this little 7 year old girl needs to go to bed.
Cindy
Good night Cindy.Wonderful vision.take care
I think they do a bit but it depends on the individual. I didn't notice much difference apart from my taste in food changed......
ill agree :P my tastes expanded, food, music, and other areas... it was weird. but cool :D
R :police:
Hi Rachael, You bet weird is cool. Heck I would feel lost now if I were suddenly to have my weirdness removed, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak" "who stole my weird blanket?" My weirdness, my music, my imaginary friends, and the hormones will be the last thing they will be prying from my dead clod fingers after I buy the farm, like Wing Walker would say "hee, hee, hee."
I can like and tolerate a pretty good variety of music and especially something a little more lively then most folks my age like.
Cindy
.......... and my driving has got worse! ::)
There's no scientic data to prove this, but by personal experience, I could swear that it does!
tink :icon_chick:
I have changed a lot too I still am me...but at the same time I am a completely different person. Pre HRT I liked to work on Mechanical things like vintage cars and Mopeds. I was into drugs, blowing things up shooting things with air guns etc. After HRT I still like vintage Mopeds and wont sell the 3 I have for the world but I hate fixing them. I don't like to work on mechanical things, don't like to do drugs and don't have destructive habits like making bombs etc. I smile and laugh over nothing where as before I never smiled. I can't explain it other than I feel like the way I proses things and think and act on them are different. And the interesting thing is things are still changing on a mental level, they have been changing since I accepted that I was Trans. I wonder where the road is taking me sometimes, but I love the changes and am happier than ever.
To be honest, id say hrt doesnt change things specifically... what does change, is how we feel... we are more comfortable in ourselves with the right hormones flowing through us... when your more comfortable. you relax, and are more yourself... so i figure we have those things already in us... we just act like ourselves finally... tbh, with me, ive totally lost my tollerance for violence, and things... im happyer, im giggly, im generally quite cautious now. One counter girly thing, is that i LOVE airsoft, its my passion... and there are plenty of girls that play... its just a rather masculine sport. I played it before i transitioned, but started after i knew i was a girl... fully knowing it was something that was ME... tbh, folk forget im trans in the sport now, im just that chick with guns :P im more free in my self expression... i can go from gun toting deamoness, to pink girly girl in a flash :) The two arnt mutually exlusive imo. But the ability to be comfortable with both, i think is down to my being more comfortable in my body... thats what hrt does... its a awesome cushion :D (with fur on :D)
R :police:
Me like awesome, cushion with fur on top. I have stuffies and other furry things around here, like a petting zoo. Always had some type of stuffy or another around I have always been partial to furry stuff and hairy stuff and all for as long as I can remember. I remember also when I was little and my mom and dad had company I would sneak into there bedroom where they put every ones coats and I would drift off to sleep on someones fur coat.
Cindy
Quote from: Rachael on December 13, 2007, 04:48:10 AM
im more free in my self expression... i can go from gun toting deamoness, to pink girly girl in a flash :) The two arnt mutually exlusive imo.
That's cool, and brings up a good point in my opinion. You do not HAVE to be some frilly girly girl 24/7 or at all actually. All that you need to do is be yourself. I just thought that I would throw that out there. :)
I find it takes some of the "edge" off my sexual drive, and that my moods tend to be a bit more moderate.
Very pleasant.
-Sarah
It released the real me that was imprisoned in a shell that wasn't me and had to act the outside him., a really wonderful loving caring person who has retained only one feature of the other persona, a comedian.
Cindy
I'm not sure if they actually change the way that I think, but have definetely helped me to be comfortable in my own skin. Which I think is a pretty big first step in improving ones outlook on life. How can you be happy and love others when you can't love yourself (Lame but true). I'm pretty happy with who I am after a year of hormones and electrolysis; and I don't feel that I have to alter my behaviour and thinking to be male anymore. If anything I would have to say that NOT taking hormones led to more behaviour/thoughts that weren't truly mine.
I tell you one thing.... sex ROCKS now... it takes longer for me to reach climax, and oh BOY is it making its presence felt thesedays? (*embaraced cough*moaner *embaraced cough*) plus its ENTIRELY different... its like, always been good, but its now all over, from my toes to my head... its like doing acid then going on a rollercoaster...
R :police:
Hi Rachael
I'm not much of a sex person, never have been but of late I have had the odd orgasm, and yep, they are as you describe. I do better as a girl I guess the I did as my other persona.
Cindy
i swear its chemical...
R :police: