when you start feeling masculine what activities or clothing or anything that remids you that your a woman. at my job i have to wear ugly gender nutral scrubs and stuggle to maintain my feminity in my head. what heps you when it feels like to much
I wear eyeliner and mascara every day and thongs under my scrubs too and women socks
My little (very sensitive after 6 mo of low-dose medication) nipples keep me going with smile whenever I cannot do or wear anything feminine
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on June 20, 2017, 09:48:12 PM
I wear eyeliner and mascara every day and thongs under my scrubs too and women socks
+1 on the makeup. My scrubs may be charcoal grey ( :P), but my eyelids are champagne pink and light brown.
You could always give your opinion about something to a guy. It should only take a couple of minutes for him to start mansplaining and talking down to you to remind you you are just a female.
Julia
being girly... makes me feel feminine... the whole, dress, makeup, heels, doing my hair thing.. I am very girly girl..
thinking about something that really stands out for me, that makes me feel extra feminine, two things..
1. wearing black pantyhose on freshly shaven legs
2. Wearing sexy lacy lingerie, especially a lacy g-string.
I wear bra, pantyhose & nail polish every day.
When I feel ugly or masculine, Make up helps alot, wear nice clothes too :')
But yea make up really helps, the act of putting it on is almost therapeutic
Seems to be a lot of things missing in the discussion of femininity here. What about...
...getting paid less for the same work?
...being interrupted and corrected by a guy who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about?
...waking up an hour earlier and going to be an hour later?
If it's just about silky clothes, you don't need to change your gender for that. Just go to the store.
Quote from: rmaddy on June 21, 2017, 02:04:54 PM
Seems to be a lot of things missing in the discussion of femininity here. What about...
...getting paid less for the same work?
...being interrupted and corrected by a guy who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about?
...waking up an hour earlier and going to be an hour later?
If it's just about silky clothes, you don't need to change your gender for that. Just go to the store.
Well the op was more asking about stuff that made you feel feminine, weither in times of need (because you're down on yourself) or just in general.
What you mentioned isn't really things that make you feel feminine, these things are more just things that remind us of the sexism in the world.
The clothing and makeup rituals help, of course, but there can be reminders buried in there that break from femme back to dysphoria. That seems to happen less often over time, fortunately. Once I'm all together I'm fine.
I feel the most feminine when I'm with other women, chatting, dining, or even simply sitting in an audience together (as at "The Vagina Monologues" ;) ). The social aspects very much reinforce the medical stuff and gender presentation. What would we call this? Gender acceptance?
Being out in public and seen as a woman has a similar effect, particularly when I trigger affirmative responses, the checkout and smile from another woman, or the male chivalry responses (opening or holding a door, offering a seat on transit...).
As Alice1234 notes, being in androgynous wear like scrubs does nothing for us. I agree that underdressing can help, and whatever we can get away with in presentation, groomed nails, mascara and other eye goodies, can all help a little bit.
One thing that's nice is being complemented on my nails, as just happened about an hour ago at a customer. I've had several compliments from women, since I started wearing nail polish.
Quote from: rmaddy on June 21, 2017, 02:04:54 PM
If it's just about silky clothes, you don't need to change your gender for that. Just go to the store.
Try wearing a pink silk blouse as a male.
Women are written off for a lot of reasons and expressing femininity is in fact one of them.
For a couple of decades now, never once passing, when I have felt low or stressed , the lingerie drawer or makeup kit has been exactly my goto.
Yes anyone can go for a femme affect, and that affect can see a trans woman discounted by her cis gender sisters every bit as much as either a cis or trans woman may be written off by males.
Learning that expressing femininity is the way I express power was an important step in my transition and not a lesson that was easily won.
Quote from: Julia1996 on June 21, 2017, 06:45:27 AM
You could always give your opinion about something to a guy. It should only take a couple of minutes for him to start mansplaining and talking down to you to remind you you are just a female.
Julia
LOL...Now that's funny, Julia!........................................ and true
*agree with @rachel_christina
Thanks for X'plaining it, though, @rmaddy! ;)
--
"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? :D"
I'm not angry any more. I love doing make up and I hate to act my age. I finally have an opportunity to support others on the treadmill I was on for 64 years.
I feel feminine when wearing a bikini (in private). Also, I feel feminine when guys who knew me before in 'him' mode, treat me differently now.
Monica
I do enjoy the makeup, lingerie and fun clothes. But I agree with Michelle, interacting with other women makes me feel whole and complete quicker than anything else, especially if it includes heart and life stuff that seems to primarily live in women's lives.
Yes Michelle, a good point I never thought of, since I have been living as a girl full time now (except for work) :@, my cousins here have really been great and I feel totally normal. I'm treated the same as them, as an other woman :3
I having real trouble relating to how Western TG seem to refect their constant fear of not passing not feeling feminine enough. Our biggest change is our mind, how we percieve the world, and our empathy emerging from its dark dungeons. Feeling female, male or whatever is simply being yourself. We are the 3rd gender we will at times feel male thats ok. I guess its hard for me to understand what mental stress my western sisters face in passing, discrimination, feeling male at times. Its natural here in Bangkok no one cares and in the end you dont care either.
Perhaps we Western TGs have to put up with a lot of nonsense from some people. The message threads here often reveal problems caused by others and, with the Trump administration, things appear to be getting worse in the U.S. Even without that, when I was a kid, being TG, gay, etc., was considered a mental illness for which you might be forced into treatment. Back then, I was terrified someone would find out what I wanted. I wish this part of the world was like Thailand in this respect.
Besides the girly things like clothes, makeup and nails for me it is mostly about acceptance into the female world. And I am really lucky here. A lot of women have totally opened up. From period problems to the beauty secrets not even their husbands / partners know. Being filled in on the latest beauty trends, discussions about shoes and regularly getting notified which department store has a sale going on.
I also noticed women I don't know interact differently now, I feel the secret bond of women and it feels I am part of it.
And all of this without having a chance to pass. I have mostly given up that hope. SO something has changed which makes me more feminine.
Warlockmaker raises a good point. Much of what many of us feel related to passing and femininity is linked to the strong gender binary embedded in the "western" culture. We've soaked for a long time in a culture where femininity is conflated with standards of beauty that are almost unattainable, for the purpose of selling us magical potions to make us beautiful and unlock our femininity.
I know this and am fully aware that it is nothing more than product marketing, yet I have been steeping in this so long that I find it difficult to shake.
The message that we aren't truly feminine unless we look, move, even smell "just so" according to the whims of the season and Marketing is pervasive and toxic.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm military so while at work and in uniform, I underdress (mainly panties and socks, stockings or pantyhose). when not at work sometimes al I need is a touch of perfume to make me feel better.
I just like to go for a walk through my local town. It's people that make me feel feminine as I navigate my day.
I also find comfort in holding my shoulder bag strap as I amble along:)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Michelle_P on June 22, 2017, 12:00:03 PM
Warlockmaker raises a good point. Much of what many of us feel related to passing and femininity is linked to the strong gender binary embedded in the "western" culture. We've soaked for a long time in a culture where femininity is conflated with standards of beauty that are almost unattainable, for the purpose of selling us magical potions to make us beautiful and unlock our femininity.
I know this and am fully aware that it is nothing more than product marketing, yet I have been steeping in this so long that I find it difficult to shake.
The message that we aren't truly feminine unless we look, move, even smell "just so" according to the whims of the season and Marketing is pervasive and toxic.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
True enough.....and it's totally wrong. But it doesn't change that it "is". Added to that fact is the point you made that your Id is steeped in the stuff so even though you rationalize one thing, you feel another. It's all so mind numbing....down the rabbit hole we go.
I agree wholeheartedly that Western Society has simmered us in an unrealistic idea of what a woman should be and how she looks. Like the most of us though i have been in it to long. the things that make me feel Feminine are skirts,and heels, getting my hair done. i should include makeup into my routine but i wake up at 5 am anyway so its hard to do in the morning. i wish that i did not have a need to feel feminine at all times i guess i just want that moment i only get on occasion. that feeling that i am a beautiful woman astheticaly and i feel validation from those feelings. i have been full time coming up on 10 years and i remember my first bra that made me feel amazing so much so that i skipped living part time and went full time immediately. i also know women can work on cars and wear masculine clothing but i feel like cis people feel confident doing those things because they were always cis and dont have the experience we share. we waited to be our own woman we grew into our inner princess later in life. so maybe for me i some times feel embarrassed or ashamed when im not feeling 100 percent feminine more so when im trying to use my girl voice even though its devloped i cant get the nerve to use it all the time.even my voice is an idea of what society thinks i should sound like. i know no one is 100 percent of anything, but its just scrubs are sooo ugly lol. i appreciate all your replys
Thank you
Alice
The scrubs that they sell at www.jaanuu.com are very pretty and fitted, with feminine cuts. Could those be an option for you?
unfortunately those wont work but are super cute thank you they will work for my spouse. but mine are sage and embossed with the company logo:(
I have not transitioned at all but I have a few "sneaky" ways to feel feminine. I have a pair or running tights I wear.....even when maybe it isn't THAT cold out, for example.
I am a member of a baseball message board that I post on in my female persona.
It is the simple pleasures.
When I start to feel masculine (usually when my uterus reminds me it doesn't exist), I put on some Bob Villa
This Old House (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-Up2E6gfDo)
...then toss on a baseball cap backwards, crack open a Busch, stick my hand in a comfy Al Bundy style setting (let's say), light up a cigar, and challenge my cat to an arm-wrestling match.
The trick here is to get even MORE masculine, so anything even remotely feminine like shopping online at dresslily.com, [Like]ing people's baby pictures on Facebook, changing the glade refill, making a crêpe with blueberries, wiping front to back, etc etc, will feel like snowboarding naked down a rainbow made of pony whiskers whilst hearing heaven's harps glissando delicately in your ears.
Try it. I guarantee it works, as does post-op Orville Redenbacher:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmgiVwgCMAAwyvB.jpg)
QuoteTry it. I guarantee it works, as does post-op Orville Redenbacher:
For those who don't know, the "Orville" on the right is Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne.
She's the first openly gay Ontario Premier. It was her government that brought in the changes that opened up the process for transgenders and also is creating a new TG surgery site in Toronto.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathleen_Wynne
Quote from: AnneK on June 23, 2017, 10:52:40 AM
For those who don't know, the "Orville" on the right is Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne.
She's the first openly gay Ontario Premier. It was her government that brought in the changes that opened up the process for transgenders and also is creating a new TG surgery site in Toronto.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathleen_Wynne
YEAH THAT'S WHAT CANADA WANTS YOU TO BELIEVEThose in the know, know that it's Ms. Redenbacher, who faked their own death in order to transition, and is still popping up fresh and delicious popcorn for your taste enjoyment.
That woman does look like him. Lol. is orville redenbacher like someone famous or something?
Quote from: Julia1996 on June 23, 2017, 11:07:10 AM
That woman does look like him. Lol. is orville redenbacher like someone famous or something?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orville_Redenbacher (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orville_Redenbacher)
http://www.orville.com/ (http://www.orville.com/)
Being able to paint my toes after having foot fungus. Half cup vinegar, 2 tablspoons Bicarb and a couple cups of warm water to soak them in. Gets rid of dead skin too. It will rub right off. I saw results after the first time and each subsequent soak clears them up more and more.
My hair! Playing with it, brushing it, getting it colored or styled, even just getting my bangs trimmed. I love my hair!
When hubby gives me flowers and takes me out to dinner and proud to have me as his wife, makes me feel feminine and fully validated as a woman.
Quote from: pretty pauline on June 24, 2017, 08:38:04 AM
When hubby gives me flowers and takes me out to dinner and proud to have me as his wife, makes me feel feminine and fully validated as a woman.
Awww. That's a very sweet answer. Good for you! Jealous!