I dont know where to begin. I am upset today and could use some reasoning. Not sympathy but some good sound words.
The thing is i dont know what the heck I am to do with life these days. Looking back I never realized how hard being trans is. I realized that my status, once fully out has gotten me canned from 2 jobs (both in 2015). I have noticed that yes, even in 2017 people out there dont respect us for who we are. To many, i am just a gay male going too far it seems. There is hardly any respect for my femininity as a female from many people out there. Even when I do get a job, sometimes some employeers I find treat me differently (which is why i left another job a few days ago). There was one job i almost had that i had to declie that seemed like it may have been a good fit, but now i will never no. I mean like what the hell? I live as a woman and respect myself for the first time ever really but get viewed and in some ways in a passive agressive point get treated and feel like a lesser. I mean, when i lived as the ''perfect definition of a man'' I got some (little) respect from people in my adult years, but had aboslutley no respect or love for myself. I mean how it looks i will be working minimum wage jobs forever as the bigger leauges seem to want little to do with me. And I get good references and comments from my work mates so my job proformence isnt the issue. I could live as a guy and possibley sucseed in the career and respect from others game of life but really why? i would feel dead and I know thats not what my life should be like. Last time I gave re-living as a male again thought the only thing that brought me a good feeling was knowing that I would probably be dead at/by 33. Thats no way to live, and i dont want that
But like somethings got to give, i work so hard on everything. I genuinly want to do more. Not just for myself but others. I want to work at an animal shelter, volunteer for the elderly and such. Genunily want that. But it seems that people look at me as a joke more then a serious woman. That hurts.
For me it meant multiple surgeries to get to the point I was seen as the woman I am by both the outside and inside. I still get stared at, people always comment on my height whenever I'm out... I think humans in general are a rude and obnoxious race. Maybe its just our society.. maybe its the dog-eat-dog world we live in too.
I went out in a cute red dress that showed off my figure, I think my face is cute, but I still get people commenting behind my back about my height.
In the end, I think just be yourself as best as you can be. Develop a thick skin and walk with confidence on the outside, but take time to cry when needed if you need to. Life can be cruel, but to me it is still worth living. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it from others or professionals either. Don't bottle it all up inside. Just my 2 cents worth, for what its worth. It doesn't always work for me, but it usually does.
Just remember that this is probably your only life that you're going to get.
I would be the person who you really are and the person who you want to be. I know a way to solve these problems. You can move to a fully Democratic state like California, Oregon, Washington, New York, New Jersey. They already have state laws that are protecting LGTB rights (and has some rights that other states don't have) and even if the government trys to take away these rights, there will be a bunch of government workers that will stand up and fight back.
I do know that this isn't ideal. But in the long run, at least if you try to do everything that you can to get jobs and other must-have things to live a ideal life, This is the last resort if anything doesn't work out. I know that if you move to a fully Democratic state, you will lose touch with your friends and family, you will only be able to meet your friends face-to-face every once in a while, you will have to find people that you like to be friends with, you have to move to a different house, and there's many other things that you will have to encounter with.
I would put on a more thicker skin, and I would not let this bring down my mood easily. I know that this is hard to go through but Their's many other options that you have if anything doesn't work out the way you wanted it to do.
Remember, be the person who you really are and want to be, everybody on Earth is unique is their own ways.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Aww hon, first I'm sorry to hear about your rough patch here. You say you want to do more, well I say you're doing more than enough. You need to focus on you first. You said yourself that continuing to live as male would mean you were dead inside, so obviously that's not an option. Yes being trans is hard and we are probably the single most marginalized "minority group" you can define. Things are improving but it's a long slow process to change the culture of entire societies.
So while i know this is easier said than done, you have to focus on your contentment with yourself and let that guide the joy in your life. Yes, employment is going to always be tough, but you have to just keep battling. Something will come along. You've had the strength to make it this far which already means you're stronger than you ever believed you could be. So don't lose faith in yourself. You can and will overcome.
I don't know what you prefer to do for a living, but here are lists of transgender-inclusive companies:
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-most-transgender-inclusive-companies-2015-7
Plus Death already compiled a list:
Trans-friendly Jobs and Careers?
« on: December 16, 2009, 08:58:58 am »
Usually, when I think of a trans-friendly job, I imagine jobs which a) have a low barrier to entry, b) have a decent wage (at least $50K/yr), and c) composed of people who are broadly supportive of the GBLT community.
So far, I have this short list:
Programmer: programming has all three qualities:
a) lots of people are able to get their first programming job right out of high school, and its also wholly possible to have a long-term without ever having a degree.
b) pay is decent. With one or two years of experience, $60K/yr is very realistic.
c) programmers in general are very laid back, tend to lean toward the socially liberal side of things.
There are actually quite a few of us TG programmers in the IT communtiy.
Software Tester:
a) if you can use a mouse, use MS Excel, and have good writing skills, you will impress 95% of QA managers.
b) The low-end, median, and high-end wages are $15/hr, $25/hr, and $33/hr respectively.
c) like programmers, they tend to be very open and rarely judgmental -- at least in my own experience.
Brick-layer:
a) I don't know what skills or training you need to lay bricks, but a buddy of mine got his start taking a 3-day course.
b) For a blue-collar job, the pay is pretty awesome. With a year or more of experience, $20-30/hr is pretty typical. Aforementioned buddy earns $50K/yr laying bricks and performing restoration/renovation projects for the city.
c) Construction workers are generally of the "to each his own" type.
Human Guinea Pig:
a) I'll admit, this one is sorta tongue-in-cheek, but let's run with it anyway. As long as you're still alive, can endure headaches, don't mind being stuck with needles all the time, and can accept the risk of a drug turning your bright orange, you can volunteer your body to test clinical drugs.
b) Supplemental income depends on the risks and longevity of the tests. Frequently, you get $50-200 for participating in a study, but its not uncommon or unheard of for people to be compensated $3000, $5000, or $8000.
c) Doctors in general are very supportive of the trans community.
Software Demo-Giver-Person
a) Microsoft calls them Tech Evangelists, but they are basically peoiple who make a decent living giving software demos for a living. It does not require technical skills, so much as presentation and speaking skills.
b) Microsoft is probably an extraordinary example, but it pays its Evangelists $97-150K/yr.
c) Ditto everything already mentioned about IT community.
Recruiter / Headhunter
a) Your job is the find other people's job. Usually, you don't need a degree do be a headhunter.
b) Pay varies from place to place. Here in the midwest, its around $50K/yr base wage, probably a little more with commission.
c) If I can generalize my experience as a programmer who deals exclusively with IT recruiters, I'd say that most recruiters don't care one way or the other whether you're GBLT.
Those are just a few jobs I can think of offhand which have that good combination low barrier-to-entry, reasonable wage, and TG-friendly environment. Usually, when I meet young TGs who are struggling to finance their transition because they stock shelves / wait tables / deliver pizzas / cashier for a living, I recommend any of the above careers as an alternative.
We are becoming more and more accepted. youre still young, give it time for the world to learn
Ashley,
I would suggest to you that this time in your life with the move and so many things changing is going to test your emotions for a while. You need to know that it will take a while to shake out. Don't get caught up in doubting yourself, your feminine identity. Be strong with who you are. Be aware that circumstances are gonna tempt you to doubt yourself. Take it a day at a time and by all means don't get in the mentality of, "I'm never gonna be able to..." You have such a great work ethic. Learn, perform in your job like you always do, make yourself valuable to your employer and be open to possibilities as they show up in your life. Nobody can keep you down but you Girl.
Much Love Sweetie,
Moni
Thank you all so much. I kinda forgot i made this thread to a degree until i opened it up again when i logged in today. Yestarday was just a boo-boo kitty day. I thought long and hard about everything and the same conclussions came up. I am happier being myself, yes I would love to have a career by my 24th birthday but things take time. The funny thing is i was actually planning to apply at a Coca-Cola plant as I heard they are stellar about trans people and virtually always been an open minded company :)
Thank you for the swift kick in the pants and not beating around the bush, its just again I am kinda scared about everything. A good chapter can be opened, but this can be so much at times. All I know is i am going in the right direction, I feel safe and for the most part happy virtually everyday these past few months with obvious excpetions here and there. Today, i went to do some shopping at wal mart with mom and sister and had a blast and was back to my normal self
Thanks for all your concerns and comments
Love-Ashey