It seems to me that more times than not, when someone posts, including myself, that they have decided not to transition, typically most people respond very positively and wish that person well or state that they are happy that the person found some peace, but they usually follow it up with the big "but". I find that many who have transitioned imply that even though one has decided not to transition, that gender dysphoria will win out in the end and that contentment will only come from transitioning. It is only my own observation. I am beginning to think, however, that this forum and website attracts many more TG that have decided to transition and that there is a bias towards that way of thinking and the inevitability of their fate. The non-transitioning forum, in fact, attracts a lot less comments. I sincerely wish everyone well and honor their chosen path to contentment and peace. I enjoy this forum because it helps me to understand my choices in the context of others' life stories. But please don't presume that everyone who feels that they are woman in man's bodies will ultimately suffer from dysphoria if they chose to remain in those bodies. Namaste
The people who are actively transistioning probably have more to take about, so therefore they post more.
Example I cycle from guy to girl mode. When I am in guy mode, I don't post much. When I flip back to girl mode, I am more active in posting.
I think it's that many of us started with the same attitude you have. I only intended to take enough estrogen to ease the mental issues testosterone was causing me. Eventually I revised my plan.
I can't honestly say what proportion of us stick with what you're planning. I assume that people who do don't stick around long. There aren't many of you here for whatever reason but you must feel a little overwhelmed. Transitioning is a monumental task and most topics I see here relate to it.
Might I suggest you start topics of interest to you in the non-transitioning area, be up front that "you'll never make it" is not an answer you care to hear and see what comes of it. Just be aware that it may start off slowly. If we're somehow chasing off your peers it may take time to build up a viable population. If you have trouble coming up with topics that may be part of it, too. Once you've said "I'm transgender but never transitioning" I honestly don't see what there is to discuss, but I'm aware that that could be due to my own blinders.
Quote from: karenk1959 on June 27, 2017, 12:42:56 PM
I am beginning to think, however, that this forum and website attracts many more TG that have decided to transition and that there is a bias towards that way of thinking and the inevitability of their fate.
There is some truth to this. The motivation for many who seek out this site is to Do Something for their condition, and that something is more often than not an action moving towards transition.
I suspect that non-transitioning folks have different drives and pressures, feelings that do not drive them into communities like this. It's interesting, because in the outside world, I know far more non-transitioning (and non-binary!) folks than I run across here. Many are content to occasionally escape into the roles that match their gender identity, while presenting and living primarily as their assigned gender identity. Much of the 'cross-dressing' community I am most familiar with, my social support group, live like this, content with a night out every few weeks and otherwise living as their assigned gender.
Quote from: karenk1959 on June 27, 2017, 12:42:56 PM
The non-transitioning forum, in fact, attracts a lot less comments. I sincerely wish everyone well and honor their chosen path to contentment and peace. I enjoy this forum because it helps me to understand my choices in the context of others' life stories. But please don't presume that everyone who feels that they are woman in man's bodies will ultimately suffer from dysphoria if they chose to remain in those bodies. Namaste
Absolutely. I have to confess some envy for my non-transitioning friends, as they seem to be living right and full lives, without having burned all the bridges I have burned. I just have to follow my path in life, just as they have followed theirs, and found peace and joy without transition.
The 'big but' ( ;) ) comes from the experiences of a person driven to transition. They may not understand the range of experiences that others bring to the transgender universe. I had intense dysphoria. Others, folks who were not transitioning, had little to no dysphoria that I could find in conversations with them, and could 'scratch that itch' they felt with occasional gender presentation changes and little else. A few did eventually move to transition after a very long time, as their dysphoria worsened. Others I know have been non-transitioning and happy for 50 years!
We each have different backgrounds and motivations. We each have different paths in life we take.
No doubt about it, there is a bias for transition here. It is a bias of desperation. If I had not found understanding and support for my fears and hopes I doubt I would have survived. Survival goes to outreach and that is reflected in these posts. But I for one, am glad that you are here. It brings a refreshing, and optimistic voice to a space often dominated by loneliness and fear. Those of you who have found a non transition, non binary, proud and queer solution are the bravest of the brave. Thank you!
Outside of this forum and with friends who know me well, I lead a life that is not much different for a cisgender, slightly over the hill, a bit eccentric, woman. It is not stealth, it is living life on life's terms and as authentically as I can.
I tip my hat to you and do hope that you feel welcome and that your contributions are honored.
Peace,
JB
I'm glad you are here too and i hope there is more interaction in that forum. The bias of course is real because it is just a numbers thing. Non-transitioning is just as valid as the path of the rest of us.
I do think that there are a fair amount of people here that started and stopped transition for many different reasons and then wished they'd stayed the course earlier in life and that drives some of the responses and advice.
Quote from: Michelle_P on June 27, 2017, 01:09:18 PM
There is some truth to this. The motivation for many who seek out this site is to Do Something for their condition, and that something is more often than not an action moving towards transition.
I agree with this. I'd say people who stumble on this forum and stay active in it, are the ones who want to do something about their gender identity. It's very likely that the ones who can live with their dysphoria or don't have much at all, won't be as active. But everyone is welcome and we try to be supportive of everyone's decisions; I think when people say "hey you can do this for a while but there's a chance it might get worse" they're talking from personal experience and only trying to make you see both sides of the coin.
Karen I think your observations are spot on and I think the reason is that this site, in addition to having a majority of people who identify as transexual (which alone explains the lower activity in the non/de-transitioning area), is also predominantly older which also means a lot of late-onset trans women. That in turn to me also means people who have lived more years and probably in fact experienced the relentlessness of mismatched identity and body (for all I know you may also be late onset).
Now I literally cannot imagine having my female brain and not eventually coming to the decision I did, this is after 16 years of trying to identify as non-binary. And so yes, it's my belief that if you have a biologically female brain then some degree of medical transition is going to be required. Whether that can be satisfied by HRT alone or within the constraints of presenting non-passing (my case) is another story.
Speaking just for myself, yes when women come here and say they're trans and not non-binary then I'm inclined to advise a decision not to transition may not "stick". If I've experienced that and most of the women I've known have walked similar paths then it seems to be a credible view.
And I say this as someone who had a pretty ok life, relationships and workable sexuality, letting go of a life that had worked, albeit by choosing to play roles I wasn't comfortable in was an incredibly hard decision.
Lastly, most of the women who come here and say they're trans but not transitioning are doing so saying that the reason is a spouse or family that's not accepting of their identity. In that circumstance I will always be dubious of the outcome. Giving up on such a key element of self in service to another is something I think should never be asked or agreed to.
I have no idea whether this is you Karen, just reflecting on the circumstances I've seen.
You're absolutely right, I've noticed the same thing. However, I think a lot of that "bias" or that big "but" comes from the overall experiences we've witnessed. There are a lot of stories on Susans and other places of people who entertained the idea of transition or even started transitioning, then backed off, but then had the anxiety, depression, etc. come back on them ten times worse later and they tried again. Hell I know of at least one woman on this board who has been on and off HRT four times.
So I don't think it's that we're assuming the same will happen to those people but we are I believe responding with caution because we know it could. And I think for a lot of us, at least for me, I want to make sure that a person who has decided not to transition isn't going to feel even more guilty or shame if they decide later that they do need to transition. I want them to still seek help and support and know that they're not the first who that has happened to. I think that's why you see so many post reactions like you mention.
I'd be interested in what coping methods you are using and how successful they are over time. I can imagine science would be interested in it too, but as it's so difficult to study long term, so it's the people here that are being gender pioneers that will come up with solutions. There are alternate means of gender expression beyond transitioning. There's writing, the arts, gaming, roleplay, internet persona, fashion, make up and so on. These things in combination could take the edge off the worst of the dysphoria. Transitioning is extremely hard in this society, so it isn't for everybody. Indeed the "but" you mentioned isn't useful because alot of this will come down to self belief. If you believe you can beat GD without transition than you stand a much better chance compared to if you have doubt.
Quote from: AlyssaJ on June 27, 2017, 04:15:44 PM
There are a lot of stories on Susans and other places of people who entertained the idea of transition or even started transitioning, then backed off, but then had the anxiety, depression, etc. come back on them ten times worse later and they tried again.
Lol, remember our talks back from Janurary eh my dear ;)??
Yes they do and i am glad. Without the knowledge I have gained here, I may never know peace in my life. I would not know DES maybe/probably is the reason. I would not have been able to explain to my wife of 35 years nor my grown kids. After the white paper I read yesterday, I am more relieved than ever. http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm If I knew then what I know now, and the services were readily available, I probably would have transitioned almost 40 years ago. Without the advise given to me by Dena, I probably would have given up because I just have so many heart problems. The irony is the same disease that would keep me from transitioning is the same disease caused by my gender issues. When I first posted here everything I wrote was a poor me screed and then I found hope. Now, all I want to do is give back. Yeah I do still use too many I's. But it's reducing in number 10 1/2 months in and I feel better than I have in decades.
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on June 27, 2017, 05:15:21 PM
Lol, remember our talks back from Janurary eh my dear ;)??
I can neither confirm nor deny that you were one of the women I was thinking of when I posted that ;)
<3
Self selection bias is a strong and real thing - this forum among many is a testament to that fact.
As a non-transitioner, personally, I find it difficult to be able to demonstrate support for those for whom transition is not an option, driven from within to completely be themselves, I can only ask questions, hold a hand, or give a hug or two as a listening ear. I do my best, and hopefully my responses are seen as the attempts to supportive that they are intended to be.
For me, this creates friction with my feelings of validity - the age old 'you're not...' and 'are you enough..'.
A different time and/or place, and I know my story would be very different, and I know that it could change at any time - that's why I'm still here.
[feeling like exhibit A]
Rowan
(Fixed the autocorrect!)
Quote from: karenk1959 on June 27, 2017, 12:42:56 PM
... typically most people respond very positively and wish that person well or state that they are happy that the person found some peace, but they usually follow it up with the big "but".
We try to be positive in all our comments, BUT sometimes we just like to talk! 8)
There's heaps of biases on this site, mostly unintentional. I look at quite a number of other sites as well and find the differences quite interesting.
The way the forum software works creates a big one, the level of moderation and terms of service another. I think both of those result in the older demographic here, and heavily influence a lot of discussion.
Personally I probably post here more when I need a bit of an outlet. If/when I'm ever done transitioning I suspect my posts will probably tail off.
There's plenty of other biases as well. Its mainly English language and western culture for example.
It's not really a question of is the forum biased, because it is, but what are the biases and do they matter to you.
Just a quick, YES it's very biased. And in more ways than you mentioned. Let's just say if you are not planning or wanting to go all the way and full speed, a LOT of people here think less of you. The may not say it to your face but the amount of responses, the length and quality are totally different.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I think all forums are bias. I was on a trans site before and it was 90% crossdressers who constantly posted knickers photos
Personally I've never felt this forum as being bias, but then again i'm bias. Without Susan's I'd be lost for sure.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Personally this forum, combined with my therapist sessions, helped me greatly in my transition, with information on so many different issues that others have experieced. Help for those who are uncertain about who they are, their mental bliss and torments, plus so much more ....makeuo, clothes, electrolysis etc.
As for bias, I like many others can feel, at times differece in points of view, can be easily be intrepreted as bias. We are already highly sensitive because of our dysphoria. I know this Forum tries to avoid comments that hurt others and at time that can easily be intrepreted as bias by sone. But can you image the hurtful free for all that could easily happen.
For me I stay on to give back to our community with positive comments. I owe so much to the help this forum has provided. I know how difficult it is to prevent damaging emotional comments. I know the untiring work that so many give to run this site. I applaud them and thank them.
I know so many that have transition then stopped. Many for reasons of fear, love, health. I see that support also. All I ever suggest is that on your deathbed you can say I lived a fufilled life being who I am. Be that transitioning or not.
Quote from: karenk1959 on June 27, 2017, 12:42:56 PM
It seems to me that more times than not, when someone posts, including myself, that they have decided not to transition, typically most people respond very positively and wish that person well or state that they are happy that the person found some peace, but they usually follow it up with the big "but". I find that many who have transitioned imply that even though one has decided not to transition, that gender dysphoria will win out in the end and that contentment will only come from transitioning. It is only my own observation. I am beginning to think, however, that this forum and website attracts many more TG that have decided to transition and that there is a bias towards that way of thinking and the inevitability of their fate. The non-transitioning forum, in fact, attracts a lot less comments. I sincerely wish everyone well and honor their chosen path to contentment and peace. I enjoy this forum because it helps me to understand my choices in the context of others' life stories. But please don't presume that everyone who feels that they are woman in man's bodies will ultimately suffer from dysphoria if they chose to remain in those bodies. Namaste
There is no bias period!
The forum has no policy for or against transition, or those who choose a different path. We leave it to each to decide their own route.
The only restrictions here is you cannot make medical diagnosis, by telling someone else you are or are not this or that. You also cannot tell someone transition didn't work for me so don't make the same mistake I did, as each person's situation is different. Otherwise, you are always free to talk about your situation and story.
I do personally have one major trigger and that is people who over and over again make posts whining about their situation over and over again; and never take any positive steps to improve it, or discuss how they cope with the specifics of their situation to help others. Eventually I will get tired of them seeing it, and tell them it's time to talk about other things.
Actually now that I have been thinking about it, I have two, I am a big believer in personal responsibility. We make the decisions we did, we said this is what we want, and so we bear a measure of responsibility for those decisions.
As for those who commented about the level of moderation on this site, or the terms of service, you must remember while this site has plenty of social aspects, the primary purpose is to provide support. It is ran with that in mind. We are likely a different type of site than you are used to. We must be doing something right as we are the world's largest transgender site, and are heading up on a quarter century of providing service to our community.
QuoteSusan's Place aims to serve multiple needs of a diverse transgender community, health care providers, and the public. We provide timely and accurate information and educational resources while offering support and companionship to our transgender members, Significant Others, Friends, Families, Allies, and respectful visitors in a safe environment. At times, we are called upon to avert potentially tragic situations.
- Providing Information and Education - The primary location for educational resources is our public transgender wiki. Both the wiki and our extensive set of links provide access to information of interest to those learning about transgender, intersex, androgyny, and related subjects. This includes links to medical and other support services outside of Susan's Place that have been reviewed and added by staff. Visitors to Chat are often questioning or newly transitioning or have friends or family members who are transitioning. They have a thirst for knowledge that our staff can provide or direct them to via our links and wiki.
- Providing Support. - Support comes in many forms, most visibly in Forums and in Chat. Responses to Forum posts can provide supporting information or a supportive word. In Chat, response to worries, concerns, and "I need help' queries can be handled real time.
- Preventing Tragedy - Our Forums and Chat venues give us and others the opportunity to see life-changing, life-threatening situations develop. Calm, reasoned response and provision of timely information (e.g., suicide hotline links) can mean the difference between life and death for a member or visitor. Awesome responsibility, indeed. We have all been depressed. Many of us have been suicidal. We cheer up those who are down about their lives and try to redirect those thoughts before they can turn to depression or, worse, suicide. We help buoy each other and thus keep our heads above water and our minds in the fragile condition known as sanity.
- Providing Companionship - We are a community, and we form bonds with our fellow travelers. Through Forums and Chat we, as staff and as transgender travelers, share in the hopes, fears, successes and hardships of our fellow travelers. With the added maturity recognized by your staff status, you can act to ensure that all respectful visitors and members find wholesome companionship among the membership.
After many years of inner feelings that I could not understand, l only looked at and posted on Cross Dresser Forum for almost 20 years, before realizing more than two years ago that I am transgender and could no longer switch back and forth. Just passed two years of living full time as my true self. Within first year had Facial Feminization surgery, trachea shave, and Gender Confirmation surgery.
My wife and I have been married for over 50 years and have never been more happy.
So, I can relate to one who may think transitioning is not necessary as I did until that day when I realized that in order to complete my life and deal with the inevitable medical issues, I would be able to cope much better as myself, shed the stress that I was enduring. At age 77, the positive change has been beyond describing.
Bottom line: am guessing that there is some bias in this section of Susan's. But that may reflect a lifetime of evolution and progression through various phases.
The site and policies are set up to be unbiased. The members, not so much. Fully transitioning women are applauded for living an authentic life. On the other hand, saying you're non-binary draws replies like "whatever floats your boat" and "if that's what makes you happy" instead.
Hugs, Devlyn
Is there bias against the non binary? It could appear that way. The non binary aren't active posters and as the result they are under represented on the site. I do my best to assist the non binary when I discover one but much of what I do on the site is to act as an interface between brand new members and people who are living the life. The non binary need to establish self support much like the transitioning members have. This isn't going to be easy as there are only a few transitioned members who are long past surgery and have remained here to support others. There are even fewer non binary who have completed their self discovery and are helping others.
A secondary issue is the medical community lacks a real understanding of the non binary and as the result, I have few resources that I can distribute to the non binary. Most of what I know about it has been learned over the last two years on this site. I am willing to learn more but it's a slow process as I have to wait for threads discussing what I need to learn.
If there is a bias, it is of your own making. This is a self support site and only by supporting others, will you remove the appearance of being an unbalanced site. Susan has provided a safe place for the non binary to exist and I will act against anybody who attacks the non binary as I would act if a transitioning member were attacked. My goal on the site is to help everybody find the life where they are comfortable. It doesn't matter to me if they are binary or non binary as long as they are happy.
The content of the support is more important than the volume of it. I feel that the bias shows in the half hearted nature of the replies. They can be quite dismissive at times, too. Perhaps it's unintentional bias due to lack of understanding.
I didn't know what non-binary meant the first time I read it. But I didn't think "pffffft, what a bunch of hooey", I thought "Yays! Big hug for being yourself!" I don't need to understand people to support them. I only have to understand support to do that. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Dev, Dena, I have to think you're conflating non-binary with non transitioning.
For example, I consider myself to be binary and female. I don't pass so many people would conclude I may be non-binary, but that's not me. And non-binary people do transition also.
Nothing the OP has said suggests to me that she's non-binary, but whether or no, how I read it what she's asking about is transition, not identity.
Quote from: karenk1959 on June 27, 2017, 12:42:56 PM
...I am beginning to think, however, that this forum and website attracts many more TG that have decided to transition and that there is a bias towards that way of thinking and the inevitability of their fate.
Naturally. Before I decided to transition, I felt I could manage my dysphoria, and I did do so for over 40 years. It never went away. It was always there, but I managed it by dressing like the gender I identified with. Mostly I felt fine. Very uncomfortable about my boobs and shark week, but I managed it in the hope of adapting to my body. I felt no need to transition and no need to look for support in online communities such as this one.
To transition is not an inevitability for everyone. Dysphoria, to a greater or lesser degree, is however permanent and this is what is supported by the scientific literature. I agree with that literature after living with dysphoria for this long. I thought it would go away over time, but it didn't. That is why I've decided to transition, that is why I've joined this forum.
Quote from: karenk1959 on June 27, 2017, 12:42:56 PM...But please don't presume that everyone who feels that they are woman in man's bodies will ultimately suffer from dysphoria if they chose to remain in those bodies.
I've not yet read any authoritative literature that supports your presumption. It is also not entirely correct to say " ... .will ultimately suffer from dysphoria". Based on personal experience and on my reading of the literature, the disconnect between the body one is born with and the lack of identification with that body is the root source of dysphoria ( the degree of dysphoria varies, but it is always there).
So far the literature has recognized that dysphoria is lessened and often eliminated when full transition has been achieved.
It is possible to delay transition for a long time, but for many it will be an inevitable destination.
Quote from: SadieBlake on July 01, 2017, 06:24:33 PM
Dev, Dena, I have to think you're conflating non-binary with non transitioning.
For example, I consider myself to be binary and female. I don't pass so many people would conclude I may be non-binary, but that's not me. And non-binary people do transition also.
Nothing the OP has said suggests to me that she's non-binary, but whether or no, how I read it what she's asking about is transition, not identity.
I was just replying to "Is this forum biased?" by pointing out what I perceive as a bias on the site, among the people, not the policies.
Hugs, Devlyn
And I agree, members have experiences that inform their views and our share of uninformed biases also. Imx the latter is pretty low here.
This was an interesting question. Whether 'biased' is the right word or not is open to debate but I do sense a subliminal leaning.
Whilst there is a common denominator in almost all of us - gender dysphoria - it has many different manifestations. For me, for example, not a day goes by when I do not feel discomfort with my gender but this tends to be a feeling of having been cheated rather than an all out desire to transition. I have a 'male' role in society (whatever that really means) and the personal consequences of relinquishing that role many times outweigh the benefits I may feel as a result of transitioning.
That said, I am in total awe of others who post on this site who have taken the brave step and have blossomed as a result.
However, I do see the other side of the coin too. There are many in this community whose dysphoria has been so bad that, for them, transition is the only viable option. They have transitioned and are seeing first hand, the benefits to their wellbeing that this has brought. In many cases, of course, there has been an impact on their family life, career, etc. but their strength of character has helped them to concentrate on the positives. Inevitably, therefore, they are going to take the view 'come on in, the water's fine' or 'I tried what you're trying but it didn't help'.
So when we're faced with 'not for me but I respect your decision' v 'come on in'/'I tried', we're bound to sense a skewing of the debate. As other respondents have suggested, this probably points to unintentional bias rather than a deliberate attempt to take one side or another. That said, as the page banner proudly proclaims 'Transgender Resources', I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a bit of flag waving for the transition cause!
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 01, 2017, 11:51:41 AM
The site and policies are set up to be unbiased. The members, not so much. Fully transitioning women are applauded for living an authentic life. On the other hand, saying you're non-binary draws replies like "whatever floats your boat" and "if that's what makes you happy" instead.
Hugs, Devlyn
I tend to agree. If I post in any other section than transgender or transsexual MTF I get no replies. Transsexual MTF is for the ones who plan for bottom surgery as well as all the other surgeries correct? But don't the ones who plan to never have bottom surgery have most of the same problems? But if you post over there you get NO SUPPORT. And don't say you do. And even if you got any support it is not the same amount. That's for sure. She to say there is no bias you are lying to yourself There is bias everywhere. And to say it just disappears on this site is foolish. It's the same in support groups. And you can feel it. So if you think there is no bias here. I have a bridge I want to sell you. Also when someone post in the transgender and MTF areas and those posts are moved you are actually condemning those post to the NO support land. Where the bias never go. Think I'm wrong. See how many replies they get.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 01, 2017, 11:51:41 AM
The site and policies are set up to be unbiased. The members, not so much. Fully transitioning women are applauded for living an authentic life. On the other hand, saying you're non-binary draws replies like "whatever floats your boat" and "if that's what makes you happy" instead.
Pretty much.
Part of this is that trying novel approaches to deal with dysphoria (i.e. the steps of transition) feels more exciting than our more established coping mechanisms. As a consequence, transitioners tend to get a bit euphoric about what they are experiencing, which is fine, and start telling everyone else that they need to do it, which is not. I have taken issue with people who enter threads from new questioners with a barrage of suggestions of things for them to do--"Why don't you wear panties to work tomorrow?" or "Try painting your nails" instead of telling them to seek out a counselor.
On the other hand, I think it is quite true that many of us transitioning have honestly believed and stated that we were not planning to transition. I certainly did. It didn't work out for me. Or, more accurately, transition became, through a variety of lift experiences, a more attractive option for me than it used to be.
This in no way means that this will happen to you or that I should superimpose my reality on yours. I offer it only by way of explanation as to why non-transitioners occasionally encounter skepticism.
Quote from: Norma Lynne on August 31, 2017, 01:20:55 PM
So if you think there is no bias here. I have a bridge I want to sell you. Also when someone post in the transgender and MTF areas and those posts are moved you are actually condemning those post to the NO support land. Where the bias never go. Think I'm wrong. See how many replies they get.
Without invalidating your experience at all, I would encourage you not to measure support by the number of replies you get, but rather by what you are able to draw from the responses you do receive and is useful to you in your life. Perhaps you already do this, but we are living in an era where there is a tendency to value oneself in proportion to online attention. It's a pretty slippery slope, IMO.
I am not socially transitioning, just privately. I am on HRT not because I fully want to be a woman (although that would be super nice), but for my private life that simply requires as much time as possible living the way I was meant to from birth. I should have been born fully female, but since I was not so blessed, I am simply doing what I can. I simply cannot (nor will I ever) be able to afford FFS or other things. I can afford HRT, but that's it and I accept my lot in life. I know this is not the "majority vote" here and I am fine with that. I just know I will get better affirmation for my life situation here than elsewhere. Not total acceptance since I am not public...again, I accept that's how it is for me. I don't think this forum is biased against people like me, it's just that I am in a minority of sorts. That's okay....
When I talk about bias in this post I mean between the members. I don't know about the forum itself.
There's bias toward those who are transitioning over using other coping methods. Maybe because of relatability.
Within the group of transitioners there a bias toward those who are transitioning quickly. Probably because updates are more frequent. There's a bias toward those on HRT over those who aren't. Possibly because the effects are more staggering and it's more aspirational to many.
Like most forums, there's bias toward long time members and frequent posters. But that's to be expected.
Quote from: rmaddy on August 31, 2017, 02:14:11 PM
Without invalidating your experience at all, I would encourage you not to measure support by the number of replies you get, but rather by what you are able to draw from the responses you do receive and is useful to you in your life. Perhaps you already do this, but we are living in an era where there is a tendency to value oneself in proportion to online attention. It's a pretty slippery slope, IMO.
I value myself just fine. I know who and what I am.
Believe me I take great things from the good responses I receive. The support here has been invaluable. My life would definitely suck if not for this site. But when I get the same thing over and over for about 60% of my posts I tend to quit holding my tongue to the BS. . (See a therapist) (go to a support group) and etc.... Nobody checks to see how long I've been a member before they tell me all the stuff you tell a newbie. And I and sure you did not read a single one of my posts. How long you been on this site? Ive been here longer than most who post regularly. If I have a super personal problem and I need a real response I usually PM somebody with the experience I need. Usually I am venting when I am posting in the forum. Or I am sharing something cool that happened. The people here are biased. If your not in the main click. You don't get the same support. I've been here long enough to see newbie post the same thing as someone who's been here while and never post again because they were ignored.
Thank god I have 2 of the best gender therapist in California I can call if things get super bad and my endo is probably one of the best if not the best in socal.
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Lol
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