I dont meant forever but sometimes I go several hours without even thinking about gender and then suddenly BANG, dysphoria back.
Those quiet periods are so strange and I question if I really AM trans.
I most certianly have. Ususrally when i doubted myself and then covinced myself i was cis-male... only to lose my mind within an hour... it got worse over the years. See my dysphoira wouldnt really ''disappear'' my denial would just shoot sky high and then bam...But yes, it had happened
Dysphoria will come and go. It's perfectly normal. Sometimes during periods of high activity or dealing with things that require concentration such as being busy at work or distracted by something will take your mind off it but that doesn't mean it's gone. Sometimes it's gone for a week or more and then it comes back.
As far as questioning yourself goes, if you question your gender identity, most likely you are transgender. Persons that are not transgender, never question their gender nor constantly think about it.
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For me dysphoria disappears when I'm focused on a task. Or sometimes at work. Until someone says she to me. Then dysphoria hits hard. I hate my chest. I am embarassed over it. I have G-cup. Hard to hide without a jacket and now it is summer.
But in moments when I forget my body and just being myself...that is a great feeling.
I avoid mirrors. Atleast whole body mirrors. Mirrors makes dysphoria twice as hard. Because I see how other people see me.
Quote from: MissKairi on June 27, 2017, 07:05:22 PM
I dont meant forever but sometimes I go several hours without even thinking about gender and then suddenly BANG, dysphoria back.
Those quiet periods are so strange and I question if I really AM trans.
Yes, I have had it more or less disappear for days. It also makes me question if I am trans. I agree with what others have said though. When I am busy at work it is more common. When I have time to think dysphoria tends to return.
This is one of the biggest hurdles in my brain as to whether I am trans. You hit it on the head.
I describe it as the background noise that's always there. Sometimes i can tune it out when i get busy. Other times it's deafening. Today was pretty rough. I sometimes wonder why it was pretty much at bay for 20 years- just occasional transitory thoughts. But 16 months ago, BAM! It's been nonstop since. sigh.
Quote from: Another Nikki on June 27, 2017, 11:23:40 PM
I describe it as the background noise that's always there. Sometimes i can tune it out when i get busy. Other times it's deafening. Today was pretty rough. I sometimes wonder why it was pretty much at bay for 20 years- just occasional transitory thoughts. But 16 months ago, BAM! It's been nonstop since. sigh.
likewise, okay for ages and then suddenly "I want to be a woman" weird but okay. I think when I am busy too it goes away or angry (which happens all the time with the pricks I am currently working with) it gets paused
Quote from: MissKairi on June 27, 2017, 07:05:22 PM
I dont meant forever but sometimes I go several hours without even thinking about gender and then suddenly BANG, dysphoria back.
Those quiet periods are so strange and I question if I really AM trans.
It is pretty normal to get focused on something that makes the dysphoria recede into the background for a while. A few hours, maybe even a few days. But it always comes back. That is a sign that you are trans.
I found that going full-time cured my social and gender-expression dysphoria. I still have a little bit of body dysphoria, but it is low level and stays in the background most of the time.
I never felt like it truly went away... I could make myself so busy or focus so hard that I could hold it at bay. If I binge watched movies with headphones on I could escape for a time as well. Even when there was a rare day that it wasn't strongly present I would say it was lurking and biding its time. My first feelings of peace began about 2.5-3 days on low dose hrt. I honestly could not and cannot believe the difference. I don't have the same thoughts or feelings at all so far, but it is very early days for me. YMMV I imagine and I wonder how many miles of peace I will get on this tank of fuel.
Mine disappears from time to time, though I don't think there's anything random about it.
I seem to think about gender all the time except when I'm thinking about something else. If I get engrossed in thought because of work, or some other thing I have to take care of, or occasionally something I enjoy, it will completely go away, but when I'm finished thinking about that it will come back.
Mine ebbs and flows like the tide in intensity, but there is always a constant low level gnawing resonance that never goes away. Hopefully HRT will help stabilise it when I eventually get to see a gender therapist.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I've gone through this a lot since I was 17.
When I was 17 was my first bout with gender dysphoria and then it ebbed....Then it came back, lasted longer, ebbed.....That has continued up to this point, but because it has continued so long I am tired of ignoring it and I'm actually doing something about it. :laugh:
Mine goes in ebbs and flows from the only thing I can think about while awake, to invading my dreams...to other when I wonderr if I've been deluding myself.