Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just curious whether you would live as your birth gender while on full dose HRT with no plans on changing how you dressed in public. I'm on my 4th year of HRT and I guess my appearance has changed a lot. I guess I look quite feminine , but sometimes I still go in male mode. I got a little pissed at the Pride Parade when a cop refered to me as male.

Are those your breast that big in your profile pic or stuffing ? But to answer that question probably not


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Absolutely No.

Quote from: TinaVane on June 29, 2017, 03:04:58 PM
Are those your breast that big in your profile pic or stuffing ? But to answer that question probably not


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that's me

Quote from: stephaniec on June 29, 2017, 03:13:17 PM
that's me

Well damn they are huge
Nice [emoji1360]


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Quote from: TinaVane on June 29, 2017, 03:14:50 PM
Well damn they are huge
Nice [emoji1360]


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my sisters are a lot bigger

I certainly wouldn't mind larger breasts.  I'm currently an A cup.

Quote from: stephaniec on June 29, 2017, 03:02:47 PM
Just curious whether you would live as your birth gender while on full dose HRT with no plans on changing how you dressed in public. I'm on my 4th year of HRT and I guess my appearance has changed a lot. I guess I look quite feminine , but sometimes I still go in male mode. I got a little pissed at the Pride Parade when a cop refered to me as male.

I'm about to start HRT and have no intention of going full time as a woman.  I identify as non-binary.  I want to have breasts and feminine curves to help me feel like a woman that I am often, but enjoy being a man (and husband) often also.  I'm 61 so I don't care if I'm sterile, my boobs can be hidden or "manboobs"!, and I like the thought of having womanly curves.  I'm bisexual to the extent that enjoy sex with my wife as a man, with a man I completely envision me a woman.  My wife has gone through menopause and doesn't want sex as often so I do end up having more time as a woman now with my "boyfriend" which my wife is okay with. 


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Quote from: stephaniec on June 29, 2017, 03:02:47 PM
Just curious whether you would live as your birth gender while on full dose HRT with no plans on changing how you dressed in public. I'm on my 4th year of HRT and I guess my appearance has changed a lot. I guess I look quite feminine , but sometimes I still go in male mode. I got a little pissed at the Pride Parade when a cop refered to me as male.

Sorry,  but that's like asking to get punches in the face.  No.

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Quote from: EmmaLoo on June 29, 2017, 04:10:05 PM
Sorry,  but that's like asking to get punches in the face.  No.

How so?  I said I'd like larger breasts.  Someone else mentioned they'd like more feminine curves?  What's wrong with that, even if we can't go all the way to full transition?

I've been on hrt nine years now and still present male, but I answered maybe because I'm not sure I can keep this up much longer.

Nope. I'm presenting male now but expect to make a full transition sans surgery in the near future. Near future at the moment is within 2 years dependent on how much change happens to me and whether I will be able to keep presenting male or be forced out.


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I usually appreciate your inquisitive ponderings, but... I don't get this... I don't get the question.

You're asking would you live your life as a dude but still take HRT???  If this is correct, what's the point?  I don't get it.

Quote from: AnonyMs on June 29, 2017, 04:41:52 PM
I've been on hrt nine years now and still present male, but I answered maybe because I'm not sure I can keep this up much longer.

Wat

Maybe I'm just not with something but I can't wrap my head around being on HRT and living as a man... that just seems so... I dunno, incredibly foreign to me.  It's like taking sleeping pills then going to Disney World rofl... it makes no sense.  Someone help me understand this?

P.S.  A lot of us simply cannot pass as men anymore anyway... no makeup, ball cap, jeans & t-shirt: Good afternoon ma'am.

Nope, no way, not a chance, uh-uh.  I'm full-time female and I'm staying this way.  Best thing I ever did.

Quote from: Ⓥ on June 29, 2017, 06:40:34 PM
I usually appreciate your inquisitive ponderings, but... I don't get this... I don't get the question.

You're asking would you live your life as a dude but still take HRT???  If this is correct, what's the point?  I don't get it.

Wat

Maybe I'm just not with something but I can't wrap my head around being on HRT and living as a man... that just seems so... I dunno, incredibly foreign to me.  It's like taking sleeping pills then going to Disney World rofl... it makes no sense.  Someone help me understand this?

P.S.  A lot of us simply cannot pass as men anymore anyway... no makeup, ball cap, jeans & t-shirt: Good afternoon ma'am.

some people feel this way

No,

I am attempting to do sort of the opposite though. That is live as much as a woman as I can without HRT. I may very well do HRT eventually, but living my life as me is much more important that whatever physical changes HRT might do to feminize my body.

I can see why someone with real bad physical dysphoria might do it though. Mine is mostly social, so doing this would not really help things.

I'm considering in doing this, but only until (a.) get all the surgeries done to pass, especially the voice, or (b.) just for any reason. The only reason is because I do not want to look in-between, but rather androgynous or whatever gender looks like me more so. Androgynous, not gender-queer. Two different standards. It would never be a lifetime decision though.


I do not honestly care what society thinks of me anymore. Call me by any name, my sense of self-worth doesn't rely on someone's' else perception of me. No emotions play in that. Call me ugly, fat, useless, stupid, some slur word... and I don't care. Words of another are meaningless.

Even with my own family, I do not think I am caring about what they say about myself. Why should I?

Quote from: Ⓥ on June 29, 2017, 06:40:34 PM
I usually appreciate your inquisitive ponderings, but... I don't get this... I don't get the question.

You're asking would you live your life as a dude but still take HRT???  If this is correct, what's the point?  I don't get it.

Wat

Maybe I'm just not with something but I can't wrap my head around being on HRT and living as a man... that just seems so... I dunno, incredibly foreign to me.  It's like taking sleeping pills then going to Disney World rofl... it makes no sense.  Someone help me understand this?

P.S.  A lot of us simply cannot pass as men anymore anyway... no makeup, ball cap, jeans & t-shirt: Good afternoon ma'am.

I don't think it's like sleeping pills then going to Disney World (that would be like getting vocal surgery and regretting it).... it's like drinking 4 cups of liquor (metaphor for hormones), and then going to work as a coping mechanism (like being an exotic dancer). It's not the norm, but if your job is a demanding job social job, and cons and pros are thought out, you rather be a little drunk so you can deal with the customers and everything (which is a metaphor for life).

It's like you don't want to commit suicide, but you don't want to be "transgender" either. It's like just taking the edge off.

I think that's at least one reason someone might do this.

Quote from: Ⓥ on June 29, 2017, 06:40:34 PM
P.S.  A lot of us simply cannot pass as men anymore anyway... no makeup, ball cap, jeans & t-shirt: Good afternoon ma'am.

You're not trying hard enough. Grow a beard, cut your hair short, wear baggy clothes that hide your body. No one will even begin to suspect. Try not to get too depressed doing that of course.

Quote from: Ⓥ on June 29, 2017, 06:40:34 PM
Wat

Maybe I'm just not with something but I can't wrap my head around being on HRT and living as a man... that just seems so... I dunno, incredibly foreign to me.  It's like taking sleeping pills then going to Disney World rofl... it makes no sense.  Someone help me understand this?

Its hardly ideal, but its a choice between bad and worse. I have family obligations that I take very seriously.

I don't know how I manage to do this when so many others can't. I'm either very stubborn (which I am), or perhaps somewhat non-binary?

Most certainly not.

QuoteHow so?  I said I'd like larger breasts.  Someone else mentioned they'd like more feminine curves?  What's wrong with that, even if we can't go all the way to full transition?

There's nothing wrong with any of it other than making your life a whole lot more difficult. I'm sure you don't live on a magic island where the current political and religious dynamics of the world aren't lapping at your doorstep. Of course, this is a much different scenario at 23 than it is at 63. If you're looking at retirement and you don't have to worry about the ramifications of interacting with people for an income or worry about your safety you can afford to throw caution to the wind anyway you please.

Wow  Emma. To be so concise and correct.

I have seen it in the only trans people that I have reached out to locally, they have nothing to lose. I feel nothing in common with them.

I lost everything, friends and family, everything but 3 people. When a retired person tells me...

No, let me make this more precise.

When someone who tells me how I should be, anyone who doesn't have a clue and is risking nothing, I almost hate them for a second. If you don't care about passing or live in an area where it doesn't matter. If you are a virgin who has no Idea what two people can do together. If you are older and have nothing to lose. If you are younger and some things come so easily. You know don't you? So please comments relevant to what you know.

Once again let's go back to a individual basis.

No I personally could not. It's not a dress code, sexual need or whim that I need to explore, it's who I am.

Eight years on the life saving elixirs of HRT and living the male life. The good days vastly outnumber the bad. I am mostly able to manage the GD without putting at risk all the other aspects of what makes me, Me.

Maybe the rest.

One day at a time. I never expected to more along the transition road today then during my two utter failed experiments of my youth

I'm force to live this reality
I hate it and I just want to live fully as a woman
Im on the hrt since 2008 (I was still in the school back then )
And now many years later I cannot live as woman and I'm force to live as guy ( which I hate it and it's very obvious that I'm not a guy so it's cause a lot of problem )

My only hope to live as my true self as woman is to be in place where trans people are not criminalized

So to answer your Q no if I had the choice and safety I would live as girl since day one

Rose I am sorry to hear you live in a place where visibly transitioning isn't safe.  I wish I could do more than say societies change over time, although society doesn't always change fast enough or the direction we want. 

I believe the goal is finding what will unlock and sustain each person living as their true selves.  If an individual can be happy living in their birth gender with or without HRT, I think that's awesome.   If that person's permanent destination is nonbinary that's also cool, and correlates to creativity and true independence.

I can't do that - I am the opposite, and tried heading into MTF without hormones.  As I am about to start HRT I am seriously considering going full time the day I start HRT. 

after 4 years of HRT and dressing  according to gender I'm just getting to use to it

For me social dysphoria is worse than physical dysphoria.

Also, I lived in the closet as a gay male for the first 36 years of my life and I gave up on the closet then and for good come what may.

Closeted here and on hrt for 2.75 years.  It's totally doable. I reckon I can keep this up for maybe another year before boymode is no longer sustainable.

Quote from: rose on July 01, 2017, 11:38:09 AM
My only hope to live as my true self as woman is to be in place where trans people are not criminalized

My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to feel trapped in your own society, and your body. I wish all countries had protecting laws for trans people and you had not to face these extreme difficulties. Compared to what you report, my concerns feel like nothing. I really do hope you are able to find peace and happiness.

To answer the topic, it's a Big Fat No. I wouldn't. Only if I really had no choice, like some people here don't, unfortunately. What would be the whole point? Being trapped forever and having to hide your body from other? Not being able to form intimate relationships? No, thanks. I have had enough of that for 18 years. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

No.  I'm very binary female.  I'd rather not do HRT and transition socially than do HRT and not transition.  If I HAD to be a guy in life, I'd rather not have boobs and less strength.

Yes
If there was an estrogen pill or shot or patch, that only produced mental changes, but zero physical changes I would be on it right now. I love being male physically.

I chose no.......Not simply for the fact that I don't think the HRT would fully fix my dysphoria, (I've always wanted a penis), but because of the following reasons:

1) Even though testosterone will shrink breast tissue, and chest exercise will help to decrease further, you'll always have a little...Binding is a pain, and honestly even with a good binder it could probably cause back, lung, or rib problems later down the road.....
Plus you'd never get to go shirtless, swimming or otherwise. You can't exercise or swim in binders. (Well...you're not supposed to at least), and if you got into a committed relationship with a Cis-genders, heterosexual female, even if you were honest with her about being an FTM, what little breast you have would probably be a turn off and could hinder your relationship physically and sexually.

2) Even through the growing of facial hair, excess body hair, deepening of voice and etc occurs, and that may be enough for some people, I don't like the idea personally of only doing things half-way....I'm committed, although it will take some time. I fully indent to have a top surgery and either a metodioplasty or phalloplasty.

3) Although it is not scientifically PROVEN, it is believed that introducing testosterone into the female body can cause cancer of the cervix, and it is recommended that after a specific amount of time on HRT for FTM's a full hysterectomy is done to prevent this from happening. While I know that internal organs probably do not count compared to the sex organs, I do considering this kind of surgery to be a part of transitioning.

This is just my personal view...I don't speak for all FTM's, of course.

I'm not really sure this would be possible for most FTMs, would it? After only a little over a year and a half on T, if I put on a dress, I'd look like a bulky *** man in a dress.

And no, definitely not, even if it were possible for me personally. Anyone that can do so deserves a serious hat tip, though. The mere thought of someone referring to me as 'ma'am' ever again blinds me with rage.

Quote from: Stone Magnum on July 03, 2017, 01:37:50 AM
The mere thought of someone referring to me as 'ma'am' ever again blinds me with rage.

That's pretty strong. Perhaps you should register with your state's DoR.

All the best,
--AshleyP

I thought long and hard about this when I first got low dose HRT. I almost felt I could just keep living the same life because it would be easier for everyone around me and that the low dose HRT made me feel better mentally. BUT I know I would never find happiness in myself living like that. The low dose took away a lot of the noise level anxiety but it gave me a small glimpse of what mental happiness might feel like. For me to feel happy in my own being meant I needed to be free, no longer under the constraints of a male character played for the convienence of others. I would need to be true to my inner being to find it. Low dose just gave me the insight to find what was definitely right for me.

Living as my true female self is my only choice.

Quote from: AshleyP on July 03, 2017, 02:15:05 AM
Perhaps you should register with your state's DoR.

Department of Revenue?

I absolutely wouldn't! I lived half/half for a year and a half, then finally came out at work last November. Since then, I've only ever presented/dressed as my female self. I only started HRT in April. So, since I wanted to and had to live as only myself even before HRT, there's even less than 0% of a chance now that I'm feeling and looking a little different a couple months into hormones.

Quote from: Erika_Courtney on July 02, 2017, 11:47:51 PM
Yes
If there was an estrogen pill or shot or patch, that only produced mental changes, but zero physical changes I would be on it right now. I love being male physically.

Wow I never heard that from a transgender woman.

I voted for no but there is a chance that I'll have to do this for a while. After some time on HRT it will be simply impossible for me to not be myself. Even now, before HRT and at the end of hair removal I push the boundaries of my male presentation towards the feminine range to feel a little better and I experience a lot of male fails and people questioning my gender almost every day. It would tear me apart from the inside to continue pretending to be a man while even my body is starting to match how I feel.

Quote from: Wild Flower on July 03, 2017, 12:06:09 PM
Wow I never heard that from a transgender woman.

Thank you, you made my week.

Hi I am Erika, the only thing I know for sure is that I am not a cis male. I am probably somewhere around non binary and transgender woman. I always felt like a girl in my head, maybe if I was mentally female I would feel different. I don't mind some female body characteristics, but I know I would miss my male body. I am also exploring myself through therapy, who knows what I have just repressed over the years.

Quote from: Wild Flower on July 03, 2017, 12:06:09 PM
Wow I never heard that from a transgender woman.

I've heard this from several folks in my transgender social support group.  They find that just the opportunity to express their feminine aspects of an evening every week or two at one of our social events is enough to ease their discomfort, and let them continue in the male role much of the time.

My own experience was rather different, as was that for others in the group. This has convinced me that gender dysphoria is something else that is on a continuum, similar to identity and orientation.   That's a fancy way of saying that some people are more bothered than others by a mismatch between their assigned gender and gender identity.  I don't have enough information to characterize the nature of that mismatch.

I can appreciate Erika's comment that she knows she is not cis male. When I was young, I knew I wasn't a boy but I wouldn't say I knew I was a girl. I knew that I wasn't a boy strongly enough to get in the girls line repeatedly until negative social responses were such that I went to the boys line.

I agreed with Josie for the most part. I am currently on a low dose and so far it has ended the bulk of my body dysphoria and I feel happy for the first sustained period since I was 10 years old. When I can borderline pass then I would go full time, but I can appreciate that for some there may be other things that may stop that. Family, jobs, anxiety... but I don't want to live as a mismatch to where I am aiming long term.

If I had to.  I started out thinking I could do just that but after starting hrt I'm thinking maybe I need to go the entire route.  I'm at an age (61) that it has no effect on my income, I have a great loving relationship with my wife.  I think we raised our boys open minded and our friends are too.  So maybe I need to go the full route to surgery.

Quote from: Dankster on July 02, 2017, 01:14:27 PM
Closeted here and on hrt for 2.75 years.  It's totally doable. I reckon I can keep this up for maybe another year before boymode is no longer sustainable.

I am also closeted and always will be. Have no choice. Just too many barriers to "going all the way." But I have been on HRT for 15 months now and have had changes that are much more than I imagined when I started. So I don't know now if I should quit for a while and see if these breasts slow their growth a little. If I grow another half-cup size I can't hide anything. I really can't hide now, and I am so restricted in what I can wear. I am so slim (well, skinny) these boobies are always "out there." Another year and we'll see where I am...

For those who ask who would do that. Come live my life in my body. For some it's not a choice. Everybody is different. No way in hell could I put off the hormones any longer. But I am in a situation where I can not just start living as a woman. Let me tell you it is hard. I see the oh woe is me post that everybody is prejudice. Or my family disowned me. And I don't get treated how I think I should because I am trans. Oh waaa. How would you like to be treated that way from the so called regular society and also get treated like that from the so called accepting LGBT society as well. To many hypocrites!!! Way to many. If you don't transition 100% into the so called correct gender there is something wrong??? Everybody is out for themselves. And if your not. Prove it. Words mean nothing. It's just like any other group. If your not like the majority you get kicked to the side.


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I can tell you that my GD is lessons to a great extent on HRT.  For that reason alone, I think maybe is the answer.  I think after I've been on a year or more I could give a better answer.  The mental changes are profound and needed.  The physical changes aren't unwelcome though.  I think this journey even thou you can be social is so personal, it can be a lonely one.

I simply do not define myself by my clothing choices.


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I'm recently going through a faze of wearing just jeans and a t shirt with my boobs. sticking out