Susan's Place Transgender Resources

One of the biggest problems that I have with my gender dysphoria is that it's all body related.  I'm unhappy with my body – the way it looks, the way it functions, as well as all the expectations and assumptions from others that come with it.  I don't really care about the clothes, the makeup, many of the mannerisms, or anything of that stuff.
But, that's ok, right?  Both boys and girls should be able to like whatever they want.  Boys can play with Barbies and girls can play sports, so if I'm not too interested in most "feminine" things, like make-up, does that really make me any less of a trans woman?  I don't think so, but I'm hoping to hear other people's thoughts because it's frustrating the hell out of me right now.  Thanks.

And since I wanted honest feedback I created this poll as a way to quantify it.

Brandi! <3

I totally agree, just being fem doesn't restrict the interest of all genre of walks of life, just what you identify as should only dictate this. We need to petition the guidelines of these rules.

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I don't think it's got much to do with a person's interests, but everything to do with the body and how that body is perceived.

I'm very fem and like clothes and makeup but that's just me. I totally don't think there's like any certain way a transperson should act. Trans people are different just like cis people. Some cis women aren't into makeup and really girly stuff. My mom isn't at all. And some guys like stuff a lot of people consider feminine. Don't even bother trying to be what society tells you you "should"  be. I had one friend who knew I was trans tell me that most of the trans girls she had seen online were tall and had long legs and that it was like really a shame I was so small. I totally stopped looking at magazines with models in them. They are tall, long legged, beautiful and with perfect bodies. I won't ever be any of that so I stopped looking at them and obsessing over stuff I can't change.
Julia

Gender identity, body image, and personal interests are three very separate concepts. Also, lets not forget that the term transgender applies to a wider spectrum that just male and female.  Agender, gender fluid, and other non-binary gender identities fit here too.   

I have cis female friends who love sports and arent at all girly. what you like doesnt make you who you are

Thank you all for responding!
I'm glad to see I'm not alone in my line of thinking.  The big reason why it came up is because these are the types of questions I get from my medical providers.  I was a little embarrassed to say "No" to so many questions, like "Did you want to wear girl clothes as a kid" and many others.  I'm not against wearing women's clothes, I just don't care very much about the clothes that I wear, lol.  I'd like to wear make-up, but I can't keep my eyes open when I apply cosmetics to that area, and so I don't have a huge interest there either. I love the color pink, but I don't think that means I'm a woman since men are allowed to like whatever colors they want, and so I've narrowed it down to the fact that I am unhappy in my body.
So I hope the military medical team that are supposed to review my data won't dismiss my case saying that I'm not feminine enough to be transgender or something.
Brandi <3

I feel like you do.  My dysphoria is physical and now that the physical is being addressed I don't much care about the other stuff.  I'd still rather be running or working out in the gym rather than dressing up.  The difference is that now I do squats to build a bigger butt, along with stronger legs, and skip all the upper body stuff.


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

I am the opposite: body dysphoria was the weakest manifestation for me.  Mine was all about social interaction and gender expression.  I felt odd answering questions like "Do you hate your penis?" with "No, not particularly."  Which is not to say that I have no body dysphoria, just that is is less in comparison.  I still intend to have bottom surgery.

A good therapist will not hold specific answers against you.  They should know that dysphoria manifests differently in different people.  Hopefully your team will know their stuff.