Sorry if this post becomes long winded. I am on a bit of high right now.
I just had a session with my therapist. She is an amazing person. The world is truly a much better place with her in it. It was a good session. We briefly talked about the makeover I had when I was in London a couple of weeks ago and we looked through the photos of me dressed up. She commented on which hairstyle she liked the best, which is also the same hairstyle I liked. Unfortunately my natural hair will never be able to be styled in such a way. My hair is still very short. I gave myself a buzz cut about 3 months ago (yes, that was a silly thing for me to do!). My hair actually gets out of control very quickly as it starts to grow. My therapist suggested I go talk to a hairdresser for some tips on how to go about growing it. It was actually a barber shop she told me about, to try and keep me kind of within my comfort zone. So I went to this barber shop, but I got the feeling they would just give me some kind of masculine cut.
I then got the courage to go into a proper hairdressing salon (something I have never done before) and I told them I was trans and wanted to grow my hair long and eventually have a feminine style to it. I also want to be able to keep it looking somewhat masculine initially as it is starting to grow out. I'm not out to anyone yet, other than my wife.
It felt very liberating to tell a complete stranger that I was trans and wanted some help with my hair. The hairdressers didn't care at all whether I was trans or not. They were only interested in giving me the best advice they could.
That was a long round about way of me trying to say that I think I just got a taste of what it is like to be the real me. I LIKE IT!! I want more of it........
Jayne
What a great day :)
(Hugs)
Rowan
Great experience, good on you Jayne, the most direct route is usually the best LOL
Quote from: Jayne01 on July 26, 2017, 12:17:30 AM
I then got the courage to go into a proper hairdressing salon (something I have never done before) and I told them I was trans and wanted to grow my hair long and eventually have a feminine style to it. I also want to be able to keep it looking somewhat masculine initially as it is starting to grow out. I'm not out to anyone yet, other than my wife.
It felt very liberating to tell a complete stranger that I was trans and wanted some help with my hair. The hairdressers didn't care at all whether I was trans or not. They were only interested in giving me the best advice they could.
That was a long round about way of me trying to say that I think I just got a taste of what it is like to be the real me. I LIKE IT!! I want more of it........
Jayne
1) Telling it to strangers is simple :) but congratulations to you (apparently you found your new hair stylist), and to the salon (they found a new loyal customer willing to pay extra for female cuts).
2) So? Are you going to share those tips with us, girl, or not?
Hey Jayne, really glad to read your post, it gives me confidence as well! As someone with a masculine appearance, I've wondered how I'd be able to go into a hairdresser's and get what I want, but it never occurred to me actually to tell them I'm trans. Sometimes the simple solution is the best.....
I love to read about people finding the courage to be themselves. Congratulations! Feels great, doesn't it? :)
Thanks everyone. It felt good to not have to pretend to be something else. Small disclaimer though. The area where these hairdressers are is probably the most diverse part of Sydney. Telling them I am trans is probably just part of their day to day business. It still felt good.
As far as any tips go elkie-t, I didn't really get anything special. They basically told me to let my hair keep growing until it drives me crazy then go and see them so they can start styling it. My hair is kind of a cross between a 1970's Motown Afro and Albert Einstein! That is the reason I have always kept it very short. Until it gets some length, it will be an unruly mess. Oh well, the things we must do for a hairstyle.
I don't know how things are in your area, but in Canada traditional barber shops are disappearing and places that do both men & women are now popular. The people who work in them serve both men & women.
Jayne, kudos.
The first person I told other than two closest friends was my hairdresser five minutes after I met her. That was a long five minutes, as I had built up the courage before choosing the salon but almost backed down sitting there - maybe next time? And then reminded myself to get this out before they start on my hair, because if it turns out they are the wrong hairdresser (if they respond the wrong way) I still have time to walk away and go find the right one. I had made up my mind beforehand - if they seemed too uncomfortable I would leave a decent tip as I declined and walked off, but if they were rude I'd just bail.
Turns out my hairdresser not only had no problem at all, we have become very good friends.
I know very little about hairdressing but my impression is it involves a mixture of knowledge. They need to understand products, and a surprising amount of science is involved - different hair types, growth patterns, lifestyle (do you swim), humidity. If they are good at it this involves art. With all that, a hair stylist can't aim for good results if you don't tell them what you want. If you are transitioning a little or a lot but haven't outwardly started that's perfectly fine - this might be a long term goal and your hair needs time to change.
My natural hair is curly and a total hassle at an in-between length - think Bozo the Clown. When I told my hair stylist that, she suggested several solutions as my goal was to grow it out - first tame it with a Brazilian Blowout. Later on I went for Japanese Hair Straightening (invented in a country with high humidity), but not too often as that uses some harsh chemicals.
Telling my hairdresser wasn't as critical as telling my doctor(s), but I timed the hair conversation early and glad I did.
I'm glad you told your stylist you are trans. It's something they need to know. There are differences between male and female cuts besides the obvious. How you cut the layers, how it's going to frame the face, etc. Tell your stylist up front you are trans and you want to start presenting as female. I can't imagine many stylists that would be bothered by the fact you are trans. If they do have a problem with it , like Kendra said, just leave. A transwomen should totally avoid barber shops. The couple I work for own both a salon and a barber shop. I work at both and the barber shop is like another world compared to the salon. A barber shop would not be trans friendly . In fact my boss told me it would be better if I not tell any of the guys that work in the barber shop I was trans when I first started working for him. Most of the guys who go to barber shops are older guys, military guys,cops and hyper masculine guys. None of which are usually real open minded. I base that on observations, I'm not stereo typing. In fact my dad was a marine and now he's a cop and he's totally accepting. But he seems to be the exception to the rule.
Your stylist was right. If you want to grow it out you just have to put up with it while it's in the in between stage. When it grows out enough to style make sure your stylist knows how to cut curly hair. It's not all the same. Cutting curly hair is different than cutting straight hair. Ask specifically if they have cut curly hair before. If you have curly hair you can straighten it or use a flat iron on it but both methods are very damaging if you do it too often. Good luck.
Julia
My daughter is my hairdresser, that's going to be awkward to get her to give me a ladies cut around the back( nothing to cut on top much) Its taken from Dec to now to grow 4ins from very short.
Ohh I know that feeling. It's just lovely when you come out to someone and they treat you like nothing happened, as if you just told them you were hungry or something, completely normal. That's probably the best reaction.
AnneK, it is pretty much the same here. Traditional barber shops still exist but seem to be becoming fewer. I have actually been cutting my own hair for the past 15 or so years. I would give myself a buzz cut with clippers. A No1 which I think is 1/8". And I would cut it approximately every 4-6 weeks. I haven't cut my hair now since April this year. It is the longest I have ever had it.
Thank you Kendra, I paced up and down the street a few times before I built up the courage to actually go in and talk to someone. Once I went in I told myself no backing out. I have lots to learn about hairstyling. What is a Brazilian Blowout? I know of a Brazilian! I'm almost afraid to ask what is involved with a blowout. I'm pretty sure you are talking about something different entirely! Lol
Julia, telling the stylist upfront is a good thing. It would help them better understand what I wanted. I think the barber shops in the area I was in would be trans friendly but they may not have the right skill set to achieve what I wanted. The first hairdresser I spoke to seemed very good and understood how my hair will likely curl as it continues growing. They gave me a good feeling. I will probably go back to them when the time is right.
Davina, it's nice that you know someone on the "inside". From wha I understand, it is more expensive for women to have their hair done than it is for men, even if they both have the same haircut. I used to think my hair grew very quickly but now that I want it to grow it all seems very slow.
Charlie Nicki, I totally agree with you. It is such a nice feeling to just be treated normal. You are exactly right, when I told them I was trans, I may as well have told them that the weather was nice outside. It was such a non event that it made me happy for the rest of the day. And I still feel good about it today.
Jayne