Well this was about as low-stress as possible, as I was expecting. And amusing in a good way.
I joined this software company in 1991 (hint: I work at headquarters in Redmond, Washington). The company has some of the best possible transgender policies in place, including a specific protection for "gender expression." In other words I don't even really need to come out, I can mix or match any reasonable expression of gender identity.
I popped into my manager's office - hey gotta minute? I casually asked him - hey, have you ever worked with a transgender person here? He thought it over, and said no. And then I said "you're wrong!" with a big smile. Took a couple seconds and then the look on his face was priceless. We have a nice quick talk. I told him I started estradiol four days ago, I contacted one person in HR this week and told them I think this will all be super easy at work and the HR person agreed. I told my manager I'll let him know before I switch gender for clothing etc. at the office. Manager said sure, either way is fine, no big deal. And he thought the way I brought it all up was great - "yeah you got me with that one."
;)
Love that! Quick and to the point plus you did it in waaaaay under twenty five words. Good on ya.
Hugs, Devlyn
Glad that went well. Faster than how I did it.
Despite problems at work, my boss has never been one of them. She even gave me some nail polish.
I actually feel really bad in leaving, but the residents won't understand.
Almost all of the staff has been supportive, I've been invited out with the girls a few times. Haven't had a day where we were all off at the same time to go yet though.
What, you didn't tell him with a limerick? Congrats Hon!
Moni
And they're off! Starting HRT on Tuesday and coming out to the world by Friday!
(and they said I was doing things quickly)
Very good Kendra. I guess you will be passing me up and leaving me in your dust soon. Remember it's not a race but a marathon journey of discovery and joy. Congratulations young lady.
Hugs,
Laurie
No limerick, jingle or Haiku. I like my boss too much to inflict that on him.
If someone hates their boss it could go like this:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Learn HR policy
Or I'll have to sue
or a Haiku version:
great big subpoena
hear it crash land on your desk
see you in courtroom
Quote from: Kendra on July 29, 2017, 01:44:29 AM
No limerick, jingle or Haiku. I like my boss too much to inflict that on him.
If someone hates their boss it could go like this:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Learn HR policy
Or I'll have to sue
or,
great big subpoena
hear it crash land on your desk
see you in courtroom
These are not really up to your standards Kendra
tsk tsk
Laurie
LOL... hey girl it's midnight in your time zone. Get some sleep!
Quote from: Kendra on July 29, 2017, 02:02:52 AM
LOL... hey girl it's midnight in your time zone. Get some sleep!
Are you not in it also?
Oh. Um, yeah you're right!
Wow Kendra! That went beautifully! I'm very happy for you and also feel very encouraged! I'm having that talk with my boss next Wednesday and I can't help but be worried. In fact, I'm almost sure that I'm worrying too much about it...
I live in a very open and tolerant country (Belgium), with solid structures in place to protect gender diversity. On the other hand, I obviously work in a much smaller company than you and am not (yet) aware of internal policies concerning transgenders or of any transitions having happened there so far, so I feel I'm walking on uncharted territory (hoping that it's not thin ice!)
Anyways, next Wednesday at 10:00 you can bet I will have a thought about you... just for a courage boost! [emoji4]
Hugs, Sarah
Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
Just caught up with this, what a great outcome...How could they be anything but supportive with a smile like yours. Sounds like a bit of a pleasant "non-event" and the way it should be ;)
Thank you all, other than Laurie. ;)
Sarah, all the best wishes for next Wednesday! In a smaller company I imagine things might be less predictable but it helps that you live in a great country. I was going to set my calendar but that's 1:00am here. I am sure I will wake up to great news.
Now that's about as smooth as it gets. Congrats!
Quote from: Kendra on July 29, 2017, 09:28:44 AM
Thank you all, other than Laurie. ;)
I saw that and I know where you live.....
Quote from: Kendra on July 29, 2017, 09:28:44 AM
Thank you all, other than Laurie. ;)
Awe Kendra, you do get it. :)
Good luck Sarah.
Quote from: HappyMoni on July 29, 2017, 11:56:48 AM
Awe Kendra, you do get it. :)
I saw that, Mainie and I have your address too...
Laurie
Momentarily back on track for this thread... last night my boss sent an email to me which contained pure support, encouragement and appreciation. I only wish everyone was so fortunate with this sort of thing, but by sharing I am hoping more can realize what is possible in this world.
Sincerely treating transgender individuals the correct way isn't just a company or a manger hoping to avoid problems. It is smart business. People compete for jobs but companies also compete for people. If your business is intellectual property with relatively few physical assets, casting a wider net for employees is smart. If a competitor mishandles this topic, the progressive company wins.
Awesome outcome, Kendra!
I'm still avoiding thinking of how to come out at work. I'm going on a few weeks leave next week so I can think about it then. I just hope my voice won't have reached baritone levels by the time I talk to HR ;D
Quote from: Kendra on July 29, 2017, 01:44:29 AM
No limerick, jingle or Haiku. I like my boss too much to inflict that on him.
If someone hates their boss it could go like this:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Learn HR policy
Or I'll have to sue
or a Haiku version:
great big subpoena
hear it crash land on your desk
see you in courtroom
Oh my!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D
So happy for you Kendra! Nothing more encouraging than a happy coming out! Hope all your coworkers are equally accepting than mine...
Congratulations, Kendra! Very slick approach to coming out to your boss. Hee-hee!
Good luck on Wednesday, Sarah!
What a way to tell your boss! You must have a lot of confidence, best of luck!
Thank you!
I definitely did not have confidence when I came out to my parents two weeks ago - the thoughts leading up to that conversation woke me up at night several times. So I just faked confidence best I could.
You go girl! I'm happy to hear that someone else had a pleasant experience with coming out at work. Sometimes I feel guilty telling people that I have a lot of support with my superiors, especially since I'm in the military, but seeing that you had a good experience is very encouraging, and I hope that others can draw some encouragement from that.
~Ashley
I have heard the expression: if a customer has a good experience they tell someone. If a customer has a bad experience they tell ten people. As a "customer" of an employer, I want to encourage and reinforce good stuff when it happens.
I sent a short and very positive email to my manager's manager and the Corporate Vice President. In the message I highlighted several ways my manager handled this perfectly. I thanked them for understanding and supporting this fact: people do their best work when we are appreciated for who we are.
I hope more companies can get a clue.
I'm so glad your employer was supportive. (OK, knowing them I'd be shocked if they weren't!)
My last employer was pretty amazing in their support as well. Two co-workers that I knew of transitioned during my last couple of years there, and both HR and their work teams were incredibly supportive. I didn't transition there, but Deb's work transition definitely got me to thinking that something I had dreamed of long ago might actually be possible.
Quote from: Kendra on July 28, 2017, 08:46:24 PM
hey, have you ever worked with a transgender person here? He thought it over, and said no. And then I said "you're wrong" with a big smile.
Kenundrum,
I just discovered this thread through your link. What an awesome way to break the news! Applause applause!
I found out recently that not only is my boss ok with my transition, but one of my employees actually came out to me at almost the same time.
Did I mention that I'm self-employed?
Stephanie [emoji12]
Quote from: Steph2.0 on August 26, 2017, 02:11:58 PM
I found out recently that not only is my boss ok with my transition, but one of my employees actually came out to me at almost the same time.
Did I mention that I'm self-employed?
Stephanie [emoji12]
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
::) ::) ::) :( ::) ::) ::)
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Took me a second. That's not a first.
Quote from: Laurie on August 26, 2017, 02:17:54 PM
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
::) ::) ::) >> :( << ::) ::) ::)
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Hey, who let
him in here?
And sorry, Kendra, I'm not very original. You heard that here first.
Steph (We now return you to your original thread)
Congratulations Kendra. You're really on a roll this week!
Employers are really quite good about this. Watch out for churches, PTA groups and family though. They'll get you every time, IME.
Quote from: Kendra on July 28, 2017, 08:46:24 PM
I popped into my manager's office - hey gotta minute? I casually asked him - hey, have you ever worked with a transgender person here? He thought it over, and said no. And then I said "you're wrong" with a big smile. Took a couple seconds and then the look on his face was priceless..... And he thought the way I brought it all up was great - "yeah you got me with that one."
;)
That is just beautiful! Like, day-making beautiful ;D
Congrats on it being so easy and great! :D I work from home so I don't think I'll have too many problems when I do this. The place I work for treats it's employees like family (seriously concerned about how you're doing, how your health is, they don't hear from you for a little bit they get concerned - not about work, but about you as a person) so I hope they accept me when I tell them.
That's a great way of doing, no big old mess, just short and sweet.
This is how I would have done if I wasn't tossed for being trans ha