I just had a conversation with my wife, my best friend. She's been wondering for a while what been wrong. We don't fight but I've been being more distant for a while. I was and still am afraid, but I didn't want her to think the problem was her. I told her that I had feelings, I feel the need to wear women clothes. I told her everything. Well everything I know because I feel like there so much I still don't know. I want to be pretty, held, not the alpha. Years ago I got her to try some things with me in the bedroom. I saw right away that it made her uncomfortable. I loved it, it was a release all across the board I could even remember having tears of joy. She participated a few more times and then I had to stop, I could see the discomfort for her. I believe she hoped the feeling had gone away because I never bring it up anymore. I shared that I've been keeping it to myself but it had never stopped. I shared that I've been posting here and getting feed back. I told her that I have a call into a therapist and that I planned on trying to come out to the therapist.
She started crying, but not for the reason I thought. She said she's crying because I'm trying to deal with things myself. I want to believe that she's sincerer about being by my side, but I'm very scared it will be to much for her. ( I picked not the best way to talk to her, she's driving and out of town and I'm at home) felt like I couldn't wait anymore to talk to her and it seems like we always have people at our house. Yes I want her to be with me and for me to be able to be me, just feel like I'm asking a bit much.
Wow, so hard. Hope that the two of you can talk more and that it goes well. It is so hard to be alone in a marriage with these feelings and of course it creates a deep chasm between the two of you. Just a distinction: It is one thing to express your femininity, it is another how that impacts your sex life. Perhaps a gender therapist can help you sort that out. Maybe your wife needs to accept and gain comfort with Jasmine out of the bedroom?
For now, just take it slow and easy. Your wife has had something totally unexpected sprung on her it could take from a few weeks to a few months before she comes to a final decision on this. The good is that she hasn't rejected you so there still is hope. See your gender therapist and discuss this but most of all, don't attempt to rush a decision. You have had years to think about this and your wife only a few hours.