I used to enjoy the odd masturbation session, you know, relieve tension, help sleep plus well obviously the feeling.
I'm at week 4 on just estriadol and simply put, I can't be bothered to.
I rarely thought of sex pre-E but when stimulated (via porn or a dirty message) I would crave orgasm.
I just watched some porn as I am stressed out and thought stress relief but firstly it won't come up amd secondly when it got half way there I decided to just go to bed instead.
Am I going to live the life of a nun?
Quote from: MissKairi on July 31, 2017, 01:43:54 AM
Am I going to live the life of a nun?
Only if you hear a calling and you find an accepting convent! :angel:
Seriously, for almost all mtf, sexual desire and function do diminish when starting Estrogens.
For me, this was no big loss because the dysphoria was over whelming my every conscious thought. Viewing soft porn does not hold any interest any more. If I want to look at a pair of boobs, I walk in front of a mirror. Sex is a fond memory that I wish could be somewhat different. When I was younger and did have sex, I would imagine being the female in act of copulation, being less driven and more accepting of the situation.
My experiences are not for everyone and the decision to transition is ultimately up to you.
If you wish to keep your male parts functional, may I suggest a more gender fluid path for your situation. Very few people have reported a desire to remain appearing female but still able to function as a male, but some people can do it.
I wanted to retain male function, but it has vamoosed. Could be age, could be the hormones, it doesn't matter. I did learn how to orgasm without an erection, but ejaculate volume is substantially reduced and doesn't launch anymore.
Nun? Not this girl! >:-)
Hugs, Devlyn
How about a more optimistic note, eh? I'm three years in and I did have a noticeable gap of "just couldn't be bothered. Over time your body adjusts and you can learn what works now and what doesn't. I think things were physically changing. "Closed for renovations!" I woke up and "took care of myself" four times last night and that was with sleeping in a tent. I don't think I get erect enough for penetration but I certainly enjoy what I do get but it requires different techniques. I have noticed that distractions can make the mood evaporate like mist at sunrise, just like any other woman.
:
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!
Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.
They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
Think outside the voice box!
I may be off base in some of my statements but understand the intent is meant well.
First, orgasm and ejaculation are two separate functions. Men see them as the same because they normally happen simultaneously. Once you can mentally separate them the whole world of enjoyment opens up to you.
Try to learn to disconnect from the thought that an erection is needed for enjoyment/pleasure. Personally if i get one I know I am working too fast.
For men, I need sex is written in huge letters on a billboard, for women it is written in a quiet novel on the night stand. My wife would say, get me started and then I will remember why I like this. I plan for orgasms every night just to keep things working ;) I don't always feel like it but after a bit of time just decompressing and putting on lotion full body etc and clearing my mind I remember that hey, a bit of wiggling in the sheets would be good. I used to frustrate me when I would go to bed raring to go and my wife needed to to relax and get ready/in the right mood. Now I totally understand. Kind of like sneaking up on sex rather than clubbing it and dragging it away.
Wipe you sex slate clean and relearn your body. It is rewiring itself with entirely new erogenous zones or areas that felt good before, now are amazing. Operating it with an outdated owners manual leads to frustration. Enjoy the process of discovery.
Part of my process was discovering female type orgasms before I acknowledged being trans. I would enjoy multiple O's then decide I needed a traditional male ejaculation because it does feel different. After awhile even the viagara wouldn't do anything and I decided I needed to make a choice and I went with female all the way. I stopped interacting with my penis in a traditional male way and haven't missed it a bit.
Because the glans becomes the clitoris in SRS I have begun occasional stimulating it as a clit and learning to have organs that way. It is a different feeling but still quite powerful and takes more practice than I imagined ;D
hey karri I think you're going to be fine I had a pretty strong sex drive prior to HRT like nearly every day and after a couple of months on HRT and through about 5 months maybe 6 I was just really uninterested and then with time my sex drive came back and couple of times a week. Now even still healing post-surgery it's not so strong as it had been but a lot more pleasurable.
hi
im on antiandrogen at thee moment as opposed to estrogen so the effect is the same and after a couple weeks the erections became rare yet a sex drive still was there, but as id been there before i knew i had to adopt a new way to look at sex. for me before this id had sex i a more female way so enjoying it was still the same. orgasm is harder but getting there is more fun(i hated male sex function as it could be over far too quick,with exitment but no cumming i can go for hours).im so glad that the male function of getting there has gone it makes me feel so much more female. ejaculation went to zero but the orgasms became exquisite,more intense and multiple,infact a near screaming experience,my last guy i had was shocked, i didnt know i was missing out on. u can keep male orgasm,they may be more in quantity but they are nothing to the feeling of a female one..it took time inbetween loosing the male function and learning a female way but it was worth it and for me the fact of having somewhat more close to a clitoris was satisfying,along with the shrinkage of both penis and testicles. i look on it as been more ready for the full transition. i never want n erection again i so want just a clit.
Just go with the flow wherever it takes you. You will lose the erection eventually but with retraining, sex can be even more enjoyable. Ever heard of tantra? It is more about enjoyment and closeness than about the act itself. Touching, caressing. enjoying the moment. I know it is against almost every concept known to man. With wham bam being goal. But you are not a man anymore. Your brain and body are flooded with female hormones and you start having the same kind of build up of desire that cis women have. What used to take 10 minutes now may take half an hour to reach orgasim. Yes you can orgasim without an erection. I know if you stimulate my nipples there is a connection that I never experienced before. The stimulation goes straight to the genitals and I get more and more aroused. No longer any erection but the climax is just as fulfilling if not more so, as women we can repeat. Now instead of stimulating the shaft you stimulate the head which is still very sensitive and why it is used to create a new female organ. Again you may experience things differently but i hope i have given enough information to explore for yourself.
http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/sexuality/tantric-sex-dictionary5.htm
Quote from: DawnOday on July 31, 2017, 02:41:30 PM
Just go with the flow wherever it takes you. You will lose the erection eventually but with retraining, sex can be even more enjoyable. Ever heard of tantra? It is more about enjoyment and closeness than about the act itself. Touching, caressing. enjoying the moment. I know it is against almost every concept known to man. With wham bam being goal. But you are not a man anymore. Your brain and body are flooded with female hormones and you start having the same kind of build up of desire that cis women have. What used to take 10 minutes now may take half an hour to reach orgasim. Yes you can orgasim without an erection. I know if you stimulate my nipples there is a connection that I never experienced before. The stimulation goes straight to the genitals and I get more and more aroused. No longer any erection but the climax is just as fulfilling if not more so, as women we can repeat. Now instead of stimulating the shaft you stimulate the head which is still very sensitive and why it is used to create a new female organ. Again you may experience things differently but i hope i have given enough information to explore for yourself.
http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/sexuality/tantric-sex-dictionary5.htm
Yikes! I've never been able to even touch the head. It's far far too sensitive.
Partly why I never enjoyed sex as a guy.
It can come back and it often does in a more female form. Which mean emotions activate desire maybe less so than in the past when desire was activated purely visually or through direct stimulation. My orgasms are better overall and do not require an erection etc, so i think it can morph into something far better.
I do require a far longer build up time though.
I'm far from an expert on sex-drive. Since my early 20's and the downhill slide of raging T I haven't had much of one. But generally never failed to rise to the occasion when called upon, or early on in a romance. (Full disclosure, last romance period was a few decades ago except for this one..... nevermind)
I started HRT with just E alone a few times, never an issue performance wise. Mix in a good dose of AA and DOA. I know all is not lost, I can still get aroused under the right circumstances. Just any sort of masturbation (typical male style) just doesn't work anymore. Actually winds up hurting like heck trying to force the situation.
I'm about week six and I'm in the same boat. It makes me happy and scared. Before, I felt my life was ruled by my sex drive, now it's barely there. I don't want it to go away completely, but not sure if it did, would that be worse than before. Right now it is a nice balance. I still do it the same way, but have introduced the nipples like others have mentioned. It's lovely. Yes it does take longer, but now not doing it six times a day!
I don't know if I'm just "lucky" but I have been on HRT for almost 3 months now and my sex drive hasn't diminished. While I don't get random erections any more I'm definitely ready to go when messing around with someone.
One big thing I had to learn was how to be more in tune with my body and tell when I am aroused in other ways rather than have my penis tell me which is what I was used to.
If I'm completely honest I'm probably more man-crazy then ever now on HRT. ;)
Everyone is different though! :)
Much love. <3
Just want to clarify :)
My sex drive was very low before hormones.
The new partner thing aside, I could masturbate once a week and be perfectly okay with that
Quote from: MissKairi on August 01, 2017, 12:55:19 AM
Just want to clarify :)
My sex drive was very low before hormones.
The new partner thing aside, I could masturbate once a week and be perfectly okay with that
I also had a low sex drive pre-transition due to naturally low testosterone so maybe that's why the changes aren't so noticeable.
I'm not on any hormones, but therapy and acceptance has seen a flood of what I can only describe as female sex drive.
Things I've never thought about...
It's hard because I'm married..but I am longing to be the sumissive partner