Henlo there. You can call me Las or Emma. I'm a 27 year young mtf in Colorado. Haven't actually started HRT or anything, yet. Perhaps I should go into some background/history how I ended up here *takes breath*:
I grew up predominantly as a cis male. Did mostly cis male things, including being a brother. I did, however, have a big fascination with girls clothing. Would regularly wear my sisters cheerleading outfits, dance leotards, and regular skirts. Never told my parents cause they were a traditional Christian family and well, it would have gone pretty poorly. Did this for a few years, then got into highschool and stopped for the most part. Was preoccupied with school to really focus on other things.
Fast forward to about 10 months ago. I had met a mtf person online that I became friends with quickly. She would tease/compliment me here and there about wearing women's clothing (in a nice way). It was at this point my memories of younger me and my experimenting came back. I started getting that urge to look and feel beautiful. I had no clue up until this point that transgender was a term I'd end up using for myself. I went back and forth for probably a good 2 months, highly considering transitioning and then not wanting too. That ended up being out of fear/uncertain with myself. Since I could not make up my mind (and it was a constant battle daily), I decided to label myself as gender queer (or gender fluid). Ended up getting myself a few dresses, some makeup, etc. I embraced both genders. I felt much better and continued my daily routines.
Met another mtf friend 4 months ago. Then about a week ago, I got that urge to transition...again. I was confused, as i thought not tying myself to one gender would give me the freedom my mind craved (or so I thought). So I decided to think it over, do some talking with my friend and others. I then decided that transitioning was something I want, and not just some random urge. I realized that being a women, physically and mentally, was something I would not be able to satisfy with being gender fluid/queer. I wanted it (and still do). I'd look at women just while out and about and found myself wishing I was that beautiful/pretty/etc (in a none creepy way of course!).
That leads me to hear. Was recommend this site by my friend and encouraged to see what other help I can find. I know that the transition will take a lonnng time (in terms of mental and physical l and it will probably be awhile before I can really even look into starting HRT or anything similar. That's my story and I'm sticking to it lol. Again, hi and I hope everyone is having a wonderful day wherever you may be. :)
Hi Las or Emma
I'm Laurie, mtf and unofficial greeter by self appointment. Welcome to Susan's Place (Hug) Please do come on in and sit yourself down. You friend was doing good by you to steer your here to us. This place has a lot of experience, information, and support. Help is but a question away. The one thing I would suggest to you first is to find yourself a therapist, preferably a gender therapist. If you have a primary care physician they can help you find one. or your local LGBTQ+ center should be able to also. To find a center near you try a search with LGBTQ and your city.
From what you have told us you have given this some thought and you sound pretty sure about wanting to do HRT, That is good, HRT is not to be taken lightly at all and should always be under a physician's or an endocrinologist's supervision. I wonder though about your limited exposure to crossdressing and other feminine activities, at least it seem a bit limited as you have related it here. That Emma does not imply you are not trans I just want you to be sure you have given all this the in depth assessment it deserves. It is your diagnosis you know, you are the only one that can really say if you are trans or not. Discussing it with a therapist might help you lock it in.
I myself was a crossdresser from an early age and right on up through age 64 when I realized there was a lot more to my feelings and behaviors. That was when I discovered I was trans and began HRT to transition. It took me a long time and much destruction in my life that could have been avoided had I known sooner.
Anywho I welcome you again to Susan's Place and hope you find all that you need here to embark on your personal journey.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Emma :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along
Please be sure to review:
Things that you should read
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
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Hugs
V M
Hello Emma, and welcome!
I am MTF, located in the Seattle area.
Based on what you are describing I definitely recommend talk to a gender therapist if you have access to one. They might be able to help you quite a bit - in helping you discover more about yourself so you can make good decisions. It is also helpful to learn about other individuals' experiences here by interacting on Susan's. I had done both, and found each is a great help in different ways.
An HRT prescription can be an important part of transition but is just one component. For the time period where I wasn't certain, I went ahead with other things I figured would be beneficial even if I didn't decide to transition. I started and almost completed permanent hair removal 3 years before I began HRT.
Best wishes on your adventure.
Kendra
Welcome to the site.
Congratulations.
It is not an easy path. However, finding your true self is worth it. I hope you are able to have smooth acceptance, "coming out" and journey. Took some of us a long time. It may seem late to you but take your time and progress thinking and feeling things through. That was a big difference for me. I can feel so much more now.
Take care and continue to ask questions.
With warmth,
Jacqui
Thank you all for the kind welcome :D I'll def read through the rest of the rules and yes, interacting here I can see being a big benefit. Yeah, I do want to speak to a therapist further about this, to confirm it (like you mentioned Laurie). Especially since I haven't had a ton of experience crossdressing and just getting to practice being in a feminine environment. Which honestly comes from lack of funds to buy feminine clothes/other things. That and possibly lack of friends nearby that I could talk with or could help me (I'm fairly introverted... working on it though!). I think is a good suggestion Kendra, to just take things slow and figure everything out. Yes, I have started looking into other things I could do in the meantime that would be helpful. I did have a period of time earlier this year where I would shave my legs weekly. Very good idea though, I'm glad you mentioned it! Again, thank you all for the suggestions!
Hi Emma! Welcome!
Facial hair generally doesn't change much with MTF HRT so that's a good area to get started on at any time. Depending on your goals, body hair is annoying but can change with HRT and is less visible than your face. Just something to consider when setting priorities and budgets. More details in the Hair Removal forum. A smooth acceptance as Jacqui said. Yeah I am really bad with puns.