I'm extremely worried that I would be unable to pass due to being over 6ft tall if I did come out and start transitioning. What does everyone think? Please give honest answers and opinions.
Thank you so much! :D
Hi vetra :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
I wouldn't worry on it, I'm 6'2" and I've met cis women who are taller than me
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along
Please be sure to review:
Things that you should read
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's Place. I am 6'2" and I don't seem to have problems. We have a member who is 6'5" and she also passes well. Height isn't normally an issue when passing and most of the time it's not a single item that the source of the problem. It's when enough feature combine that you have difficulty passing.
Quote from: Dena on August 22, 2017, 11:58:24 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. I am 6'2" and I don't seem to have problems. We have a member who is 6'5" and she also passes well. Height isn't normally an issue when passing and most of the time it's not a single item that the source of the problem. It's when enough feature combine that you have difficulty passing.
Thanks for the welcome! :D That's good to hear. My height has been one of my major fears due to the fact while being in the closet, people talk a lot about my height. In fact, there is a running joke with my friends where they call me 'beanstalk'.
Quote from: V M on August 22, 2017, 11:53:37 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
I wouldn't worry on it, I'm 6'2" and I've met cis women who are taller than me
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along
Please be sure to review: ...
Hugs
V M
Thank you! I did a quick read through the rules. I feel like I'm near the end of the questioning road right now, so I'm worried about every little thing. Haha
Quote from: vetra on August 22, 2017, 11:37:45 PM
I'm extremely worried that I would be unable to pass due to being over 6ft tall if I did come out and start transitioning. What does everyone think? Please give honest answers and opinions.
Thank you so much! :D
As with all questions regarding passing, I think it depends. It depends on the steps one takes, the environment/context, things beyond probably what I personally know about.
I'm 6'1" and have had times of doubt and times of great (positive) surprise. I also am larger than a typical ciswoman, broader shoulders and all that. Also voice is a biggie. I've made some strides but it is the biggest thing that gives me away... but I've made strides and I keep on working on it. I don't want to find the stereotype voice as much as my own voice, if that makes sense... but part of my effort is to make attempts at stereotypes... it's a give/take there to find a happy medium or zone of effort.
My current focus is to find happiness in how I feel about myself which is different than having to pass 100% to be happy. I'm prepared to reconcile I'll never pass 100% time, while also not giving up on my ability to fit positively into the role, including efforts to be as close to 100% as I can discover. I try to remember how much I thought I'd never improve or get over certain things only to be pleasantly surprised if not much more so.
So height is not the only thing, and being over 6' is not a definite deal-breaker but I also don't want to make it sound like it's a breeze... but I'm also referring to height and related "bigness" like broader shoulders, posture, how do I overall appear? I try to be honest with myself... sometimes I'll video myself walking across the room, or cleaning up the house, so I can play it back a few days later to see what i think... that's a great tool. You can see yourself at different angles, leaning over, cooking or whatever. It helps me see what to improve and perhaps what to accept until I improve (assuming I do... or perhaps help me reconcile if I don't).
For me it's been a journey of having faith in my chances with a little reconciliation along the way. I feel mind over matter is what I believe in, but I'm okay relaxing into wherever I am along the way. I'd prefer to be happy as an authentic feminine self than defeated because I don't pass based on how others rate me.
Today I wore my hair down for the first time shopping... hadn't done that before... but today something just worked... I think it was some hair care steps coupled with where my mind was at. I sort of feel the mind is really powerful here. And today I was very confident out and about... didn't even think of my height... not that I do think of it normally but I've sometimes thought of myself as too tall. So perhaps I had confidence today and my mind was in a powerful place, so the hair and height and voice worked. Likely each is not reaching a perfect "passing" bar but I bet less folks noticed... I think folks see non-passing more when someone's mind is really negative about where one is at... so going back to what I said above, my current mode to really enjoy transition by being the feminine self I can be. A big part of that seems to be having the right frame of mind.
We live in a new world... it's okay for people born as genetic males to express in a feminine way, to live in the female role, to work to pass as a woman... many levels in there... so I feel there's more room these days for each of us to define our own journey... women have done that since the beginning of time (as have men)... so there's no reason why you can't figure out how to be your own woman given who you are ... I think I'm saying I feel that's the healthiest approach I've found for myself.
Regardless of height... just make it work the right way for you.
Welcome to Susan's.
Is the goal to pass or is the goal to be happy and well adjusted? I certainly think that passing might make transition easier, but in my experience, relatively few trans women pass 100% of the time, and many of those whom I know personally who state they do clearly don't. All I infer from this is that a) we want to be seen as women, b) We feel disappointed when we are not. I am no different in this regard.
A recent anecdote might help:
I was in a long line for the women's room this weekend. An elderly woman behind me touched my shoulder and said, "Goodness honey, how tall are you?"
"Six foot two," I lied (I'm 6'3").
To my ear, her question indicated to me that I passed for her up to that moment. Of course, she was behind me and we had not yet spoken. Whether I passed when I spoke or when she saw my face is beyond my knowledge. What I do know is that we shared a smile and co-existed in our mutual wait for a brief time. She treated me like a woman, and that was sufficient for me.
Whether or not your transgender past is invisible to people is largely dependent on factors beyond your control. Yes, you can practice mannerisms and speech, and you may choose to do this, but I would still be willing to bet, simply because you asked the question and are well beyond average size for a woman, that you will be recognized as transgender from time to time, if not much of the time. Can you live with that?
If I want to be seen as a cis female, I will often be disappointed. If I want to be treated like a woman, I will usually be quite pleased, whether or not they can tell I am trans. Such is life in 2017. This is not to say that being trans is easy. At times it is quite difficult. People who, through fortune of genetics or aptitude for mimicry, consistently pass may present smaller targets for transphobic violence. This does not mean that they are happy or unhappy per se. That depends on their goals and experiences.
If you spend much time here, you will encounter a lot of people loaded with angst about whether or not they pass. My advice is try to let it go. Expending a lot of effort to keep one's personal history hidden post transition is like stepping out of one closet and into another.
You are who you are. You were who you were. Who you will be is up to you. Don't leave it up to total strangers.
Quote from: Ashley3 on August 23, 2017, 12:38:26 AM
As with all questions regarding passing, I think it depends. It depends on the steps one takes, the environment/context, things beyond probably what I...
Thank you so much. That really sticks out to me. Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm in such an early stage that I feel like I have a lot to learn. I've just been worrying about every little thing. No one knows that I have been thinking about such things in my life at the moment. I only told one close friend that I've been needing to go to a therapist for something I wasn't comfortable talking about. I hope to over time to be more confident and comfortable with who I am. :) Thank you.
Quote from: rmaddy on August 23, 2017, 12:54:11 AM
Welcome to Susan's.
Is the goal to pass or is the goal to be happy and well adjusted? I certainly think that passing might make transition easier, but in my experience, relatively few trans women pass 100% of the time, and many of those whom I know personally who state they do clearly don't. All I infer from this is that a) we want to be seen as women, b) We feel disappointed when...
Thank you for the welcome and your experience. I'm pretty much at the end of the questioning road so I'm trying to understand everything that is ahead of me. I feel that I will learn the most when I start getting experience talking to people about it.
Being tall means being noticed. By itself, it won't get you clocked. There are very tall women in the world, and they don't get misgendered just for being tall.
When it comes to passing, what does matter is the "gestalt" you present to the world, like Dena said. That begins with your face and your voice. Facial hair removal is a must. As is training your voice. They will both take some time, so get started now! And for many of us, facial surgery is also necessary to pass consistently over the long-term.
Beyond that there's the matter of body proportions. Sometimes HRT can be transformational, helping us to grow breasts and redistribute fat to our hips and derriere. Sometimes we also need additional help in this department -- like getting breast implants and a "Brazilian Butt Lift" (where fat from other parts of the body, like the belly and flanks, is harvested and transferred). Obviously, bottom surgery (called GCS today, SRS back in the day) is pretty much required to pass when naked.
After that, passing is largely what's between your ears and how you present yourself to the world day in and day out. On the easy end of this are things like makeup and an appropriate wardrobe (though frankly it's nice to pass without makeup). Mannerisms have been brought up, true. More important is the matter of socialization, of understanding how to participate in conversations and what social protocols are expected of women in our culture -- in my opinion, this all hinges on active empathy.
Finally, if you don't want to be misgendered after you've gotten to the point where people gender you correctly, you might want to consider practicing non-disclosure -- which is simply a matter of not telling people your medical history... and removing yourself from as many situations where that medical history is already disclosed.
-----------
Of all this, what's most important as far as I'm concerned is voice. I've been stealth for nearly two decades. In that time I've been misgendered a handful of times (I'm tall and a bit stocky) in casual public situations -- standing in line at the grocery store, for example. Each one of those times, though, as soon as I spoke the person behind the counter practically fell over themselves to apologize, with completely appropriate gendering now locked into place.
Having a very good voice is the only thing I know that can reverse a potential clocking.
There are some who say what's most crucial is your own confidence and belief in yourself. I agree actually... because I believe these things are also crucial to finding your voice. This is ultimately a spiritual journey you're going on, for lack of a better phrase. I wish you the very best of luck.
Your height would bring attention, and unless you are extremely lucky and deep down the road, attention will get you clocked. So, don't fool yourself thinking you can fool anyone but the most unobservant dude from the distance of 100 yards.
Having said that, in this year (2017) and in this country (USA) it is not popular among general public to tell you anything negative. People would either ignore you if they don't approve, or genuinely like you if they think you're brave to be you. I'd rather not worry about what other people think, only how you want to live the rest of your life.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I think all transwomen get outed when they first transition. And a lot of the time we bring it on ourselves by the way we act. When I first transitioned I developed like social anxiety. I wouldn't go anywhere I didn't absolutely have to. My dad finally started making me go places with him. He would take me to the mall and we would spend like half an hour walking around. We weren't shopping. My dad was forcing me to interact with people. He told me what would get me outed was the way I was acting. He said I was acting totally suspicious. (He's a cop) He said not making eye contact with anyone, looking at the floor and walking against the wall like I was trying to blend into it were all things that made other people suspicious . The one thing that he said stuck out to me. He asked me if I thought it was wrong to be trans. I told him of course I didn't. He said " then stop acting like you're doing something wrong. You're not". Because of the way society treats trans people and especially how some trans people are treated by their families, when we first transition we feel like we are doing something wrong. And to a lot of people we are. But screw them! It's easy for a person to judge us when they have no clue what it's like to be trans. Even if you're not very passable if you carry yourself with pride and confidence people aren't as likely to judge you as harshly.
I think I pass pretty well but I can't know that for sure. Just because no one has said anything to me doesn't mean they didn't out me. I won't say I don't care if I pass or not because I totally do but I can't let the fear of being potentially outed hold me back or I would never leave home and I would become like a shut in or something and start hoarding cats and aluminum cans.
Just remember that you have every right to be yourself and you're totally not doing anything wrong or that you should feel ashamed about. That's another thing people like to throw out there. My uncle asked me once if I was not ashamed about transitioning. I told him the only thing I was ashamed of was him for being so ignorant and small minded.
Julia.
Tall women are statuesque and beautiful. Do you want to pass or looking more beautiful than a cis female. In Thailand they say if the female is too beautiful and tall its a Katoey (tg). Be happy with who you are, thats where true beauty lies.
Quote from: Julia1996 on August 23, 2017, 08:29:31 AM
He asked me if I thought it was wrong to be trans. I told him of course I didn't. He said " then stop acting like you're doing something wrong. You're not".
My gosh. If only more trans people would adopt that attitude.
I had identified my height, 6' tall, and my voice, to be the 2 main elements why I would never pass. That was last year. This summer, most everyone says Miss to me, and it's certainly quite obvious that I'm not a cis woman, but it seems like I now have enough feminine features to outweigh even my voice.
I still meet haters too, but most people on the street smile in support to me, especially cis women, but men also.
I said last year: I'll never pass.
I'm saying this year: it doesn't matter
I feel good, I feel sexy
passing doesn't matter, what counts is being I guess accepted as who we are, and that seems to come easily once we accept ourselves?? idk, not sure, but for sure the more I feel comfortable as what and who I am, the less I see commotion of people around me, is it that I notice it less, is it less there... va savoir
Quote from: Julia1996 on August 23, 2017, 08:29:31 AM
I think all transwomen get outed when they first transition. And a lot of the time we bring it on ourselves by the way we act. When I first transitioned I developed like social anxiety. I wouldn't go anywhere I didn't absolutely have to. My dad finally started making me go places with him. He would take me to the mall and we would spend like half an hour walking around. We weren't shopping. My dad was forcing me to interact with people. He told me what would get me outed was the way I was acting. He said I was acting totally suspicious. (He's a cop) He said not making eye contact with anyone, looking at the floor and walking against the wall like I was trying to blend into it were all things that made other people suspicious . The one thing that he said stuck out to me. He asked me if I thought it was wrong to be trans. I told him of course I didn't. He said " then stop acting like you're doing something wrong. You're not". Because of the way society treats trans people and especially how some trans people are treated by their families, when we first transition we feel like we are doing something wrong. And to a lot of people we are. But screw them! It's easy for a person to judge us when they have no clue what it's like to be trans. Even if you're not very passable if you carry yourself with pride and confidence people aren't as likely to judge you as harshly.
I think I pass pretty well but I can't know that for sure. Just because no one has said anything to me doesn't mean they didn't out me. I won't say I don't care if I pass or not because I totally do but I can't let the fear of being potentially outed hold me back or I would never leave home and I would become like a shut in or something and start hoarding cats and aluminum cans.
Just remember that you have every right to be yourself and you're totally not doing anything wrong or that you should feel ashamed about. That's another thing people like to throw out there. My uncle asked me once if I was not ashamed about transitioning. I told him the only thing I was ashamed of was him for being so ignorant and small minded.
Julia.
Yup. Doing something wrong=shame. Shame is bad, at least in this case. It's paying a debt we don't owe.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm 6'2" and wear 3" heels everyday at work. I have no problems with passing in my day to day interactions with people. It all starts from within. Attitude and confidence go a long way in not getting me clocked. I know I am a woman and that's what I show the world. I have only had a couple of incidents since I transitioned and only one of those was negative (the fact I was walking outside of a club on trans night may have played a role in that incident).
I was afraid when I started out on my journey and now I don't give it a second thought. I am just a tall woman (who happens to be trans) making her way through life.
6ft here, it's the main reason why I have anxiety over the process.
I do look at tall women clothing shops and think hey, there's tall cis-women to but hey ho....
Quote from: J2J on August 23, 2017, 07:31:49 PM
6ft here, it's the main reason why I have anxiety over the process.
I do look at tall women clothing shops and think hey, there's tall cis-women to but hey ho....
The thing to do is look at a site that caters to tall women exclusively. One of them is Long Tall Sally (http://www.longtallsally.com). All of the models have to be tall just to be able to show the fashions.
Quote from: Dena on August 23, 2017, 07:38:29 PM
The thing to do is look at a site that caters to tall women exclusively. One of them is Long Tall Sally (http://www.longtallsally.com). All of the models have to be tall just to be able to show the fashions.
Something related that may also give you some additional confidence. On that site, there are "regular" woman (not the models) that submit reviews and some have their physical stats/sizing listed. There are many 6'+ woman providing reviews and I don't think they are all trans :)
Everyone has given such amazing advice and heart warming stories! It really helps. Height is just something I have to accept. Haha I think the largest problem is that I realized while reading that I haven't accepted my height while being in the closet. It's really a lot to think about and I would like to thank everyone for their stories and advice! :D
I'm a little over 6'5" and don't have any issues with passing. My voice is really good so that does help. You will get noticed more, but it doesn't automatically clock you as trans. I know 2 cis woman taller than me. One 6'6" and the other 6'9" plus another who is the same height as me.
Quote from: Dena on August 23, 2017, 07:38:29 PM
The thing to do is look at a site that caters to tall women exclusively. One of them is Long Tall Sally (http://www.longtallsally.com). All of the models have to be tall just to be able to show the fashions.
The thing with LTS is that the sizing is more for cis women: narrower on top than down below. I would be many tall trans women are bigger up top. To put it another way, at a thinner weight, I might be a size 20 skirt but a size 24 top. Dresses don't work like that. The other thing is torso and arm length. I'm 6'5, but have a 34" inseam. Not leggy at all. The only solution I see is to have stuff made/altered. There are a handful of places that do it. EShakti and sumassura come to mind. When I get down to my normal weight, I'm going to give them a try.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
I realize that being tall is like a major worry for transwomen. But I think this is one of those things that really doesn't matter but that seems like a major thing to us. Most people, male and female think a tall woman is attractive. They associate a tall woman with models. My mom is 5'10 and has always gotten positive attention for it. I was with my brother and his friends once when they spotted a really tall woman who had to be at least 6'1. His friends were like "look at that! She's at least 6 feet tall. That's so hot!" The thing about transwomen is that we are never happy with what we've got and wish we had something another woman has. I think we are worse than cis women about that.
A lot of transwomen think being small is the ideal. I can tell you it's not! Shorter people are overlooked and ignored a lot. And few people would actually want to trade places with a short person. There was a girl I went to school with who was almost 6 feet tall. Once she was saying she wished she was shorter. I told her being short wasn't that great. She laughed and said she meant like maybe a couple of inches shorter. She said no-one would want to be as short as I am. Once one of my friends was talking about how she thought her feet were too big and said she wished she was smaller. Another girl asked if she wanted to be shorter. She said " OMG no! I just meant I wished my feet were smaller". When my boyfriend met my mom for the first time he said he thought she would be shorter. I asked him why and he said my dad and brother are both very tall so he assumed my mom would have to be short to explain why I am. Then he asked me if albinism affects height too. He wasn't trying to be rude. It was just a " guy puts his foot in his mouth" moment. One time a few months into hrt I was complaining about having a flat butt and narrow hips and my grandma said not to worry about it and that many models had narrow hips and a flattish butt. My mom said " don't tell her that. Models are tall and statuesque. She's only 5'4, what could she model? Hats maybe."
I know a lot of you think being tall is a bad thing. But it's not at all so own it. If I could trade heights with one of you tall people I would believe me. I have always wanted to have long legs. So be tall and be proud. Tall women are awesome!
Julia
Quote from: Gertrude on August 23, 2017, 11:01:54 PMThe thing with LTS is that the sizing is more for cis women: narrower on top than down below. I would be many tall trans women are bigger up top. To put it another way, at a thinner weight, I might be a size 20 skirt but a size 24 top. Dresses don't work like that. The other thing is torso and arm length. I'm 6'5, but have a 34" inseam. Not leggy at all. The only solution I see is to have stuff made/altered. There are a handful of places that do it. EShakti and sumassura come to mind. When I get down to my normal weight, I'm going to give them a try.
I find it really helps to go with separates! So I can get my tops in a different size, for example.
But it's also a matter of putting the right clothes together. So, long skirts that are worn where my waist
should be, proportionately, for example, with a top that also accentuates where my waist should be, which is higher than where it really is. I like "empire waist" tops, that are fitted just under the bust line, to do this. Another trick is going with long tunics when wearing (high waisted) slacks or jeans. Also, wearing tops that are darker than the rest of the outfit -- dark colors help to visually minimize the larger areas of our bodies.
All of this really does become easier with being thinner, alas.
Quote from: Sophia Sage on August 24, 2017, 06:12:30 AM
I find it really helps to go with separates! So I can get my tops in a different size, for example.
But it's also a matter of putting the right clothes together. So, long skirts that are worn where my waist should be, proportionately, for example, with a top that also accentuates where my waist should be, which is higher than where it really is. I like "empire waist" tops, that are fitted just under the bust line, to do this. Another trick is going with long tunics when wearing (high waisted) slacks or jeans. Also, wearing tops that are darker than the rest of the outfit -- dark colors help to visually minimize the larger areas of our bodies.
All of this really does become easier with being thinner, alas.
It'll be another 7-8 months at the rate I'm going until I get down to my normal weight, which isn't that long. I'll have to buy a lot of new clothes. As far as pants and jeans go, yuk! :) only if I'm working on something.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Tall girls exist and aren't that uncommon, I know many volleyball and basketball players who are about 190 cm.
You can always lie you have gigantism tho.
I am 5'11" and the thinner I am the better I pass. I expected to be androgynous, but with weight loss, I am never misgendered.
Quote from: Julia1996 on August 24, 2017, 06:09:08 AM
I realize that being tall is like a major worry for transwomen. But I think this is one of those things that really doesn't matter but that seems like a major thing to us. Most people, male and female think a tall woman is attractive. They associate a tall woman with models.........
You are absolutely correct on this. I was at a huge wedding for my youngest cousin this past weekend and the groom is the same height as me at 6'5" and has a sister that is 6'2". I was wearing a size 16 dress from Lane Bryant that looked really good on me and I got a ton of compliments. I didn't feel out of place at all and several people commented on my height saying I should be a model. I told them at age 47, I'm too old to be a model and they were stunned that I was 47.
Quote from: Gertrude on August 23, 2017, 11:01:54 PM
The thing with LTS is that the sizing is more for cis women: narrower on top than down below. I would be many tall trans women are bigger up top. To put it another way, at a thinner weight, I might be a size 20 skirt but a size 24 top. Dresses don't work like that. The other thing is torso and arm length. I'm 6'5, but have a 34" inseam. Not leggy at all. The only solution I see is to have stuff made/altered. There are a handful of places that do it. EShakti and sumassura come to mind. When I get down to my normal weight, I'm going to give them a try.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Old Navy has tall sizes on line for lots of stuff. Jeans they have the tall sizes in the stores. I've bought a few pair of jeans in the store and ordered some tops on line that fit well. I tried stuff on in the stores and then ordered the tall of that size online. (I'm 6'3" 225 and trying to drop)
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Quote from: TonyaW on August 29, 2017, 02:10:01 PM
Old Navy has tall sizes on line for lots of stuff. Jeans they have the tall sizes in the stores. I've bought a few pair of jeans in the store and ordered some tops on line that fit well. I tried stuff on in the stores and then ordered the tall of that size online. (I'm 6'3" 225 and trying to drop)
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
I'm 6'5 and north of 300. I've lost 42lbs in 10 weeks after Deborah turned me on to the ketogenic diet. When I was young, fit and male mask presenting, 235-240 was my fighting weight. A bigger version of Pierre Coetzer. Now that I'm older and with less muscles, I figure 220 would be fine. I figure size 18-20 then. Not into jeans though, at least as a fashion statement, except for working on something.
I am 5'9, which is tall but not unusually tall for a girl. However, I have 2 coworkers who are cis women and they are both over 6 feet tall. My younger sister is 6'2. People just think they are tall girls......which they (we) are, thats all :) I have started noticing tall women more since transitioning. Theres a lot of them out there.
Alloy, ASOS and Jc Penny has tall sizes. i wear 16 and love to shop at venus.com. However it's not age appropriate. Still I am able to find some things and they are all so cute. But if you are a younger person you will think you have died and went to heaven.
I'm 6ft and achieved my life long dream (50 years) of being seen as an accepted as a woman
A female friend friend of mine, the "runt" of the family at only 5'11".... need I say more?
A doc in the practice my wife went to... 6' blond and a size 7, the bitch. I take solace in knowing how IMPOSSIBLE it is for her to find clothes that fit
My ex Wife, 5'11, another size 6.... Her BIG complain 3/4 length sleeves EXCUSE ME
OK Jeans are a maybe. Skirts and dresses always work if you like girlie-girl. Dress slacks for work.... Soon on my horizon I fear
Quote from: DawnOday on September 09, 2017, 05:15:49 PM
Alloy, ASOS and Jc Penny has tall sizes. i wear 16 and love to shop at venus.com. However it's not age appropriate. Still I am able to find some things and they are all so cute. But if you are a younger person you will think you have died and went to heaven.
Most tall sizing I've seen is limited in size and not always proportionately taller. Some just make the hem longer and the chest/bust size relative to waist/hips is CIS oriented. To put it another way, taller isn't just longer.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Being tall is only an issue in our mind. As time goes on, height should become less of a concern.
My first two years, I wa totally paranoid. Now, the only time I think about height is when I read these forums.
Quote from: NJOttawa on September 10, 2017, 10:55:00 AM
Being tall is only an issue in our mind.
A little easier to say at 5'10" than 6'3", dontcha think? ::)
Being tall doesn't make one less of a woman, but it does attract more scrutiny and leads to more frequent problems with misgendering.
My favorite supermodel of the moment is Karlie Kloss, who, while a genetic woman, is 6'2". She wears heels all the time and has probably never been "misgendered". While she's unquestionably beautiful, her ever appealing personality has as much to do with her success as anything, I think. If people find you delightful to be around it can make up for a lot of appearance issues even if.
Check out Karlie's YouTube channel. It's always a spirit booster for me.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH5Qu8Sd-m-7Zk4xc_J5VzA/videos (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH5Qu8Sd-m-7Zk4xc_J5VzA/videos)
Quote from: Lyric on September 12, 2017, 10:37:56 AM
My favorite supermodel of the moment is Karlie Kloss, who, while a genetic woman, is 6'2". She wears heels all the time and has probably never been "misgendered". While she's unquestionably beautiful, her ever appealing personality has as much to do with her success as anything, I think. If people find you delightful to be around it can make up for a lot of appearance issues even if.
Check out Karlie's YouTube channel. It's always a spirit booster for me.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH5Qu8Sd-m-7Zk4xc_J5VzA/videos (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH5Qu8Sd-m-7Zk4xc_J5VzA/videos)
She IS inspirational, but she has also been quoted as saying.....
"I think I would look like a crazy woman walking around N.Y.C. in heels since I'm 6'1″ and 6'4″ in heels. Plus, I take the subway, so I'd stand out even more!"
She wears heels when she is "suppose to" or is expected to (modeling etc), flats/sneakers when it's her choice.
Maria Sharapova is 6'2", Gabriel Reese is 6'3" there height does not seem to limit them. Maria is a record of 3 grandslam titles. Gabriel was a multiple olympics champion. Passing is in the eye of the beholder. How much effort you put into mimicking a woman;s behavior will determine if you pass or not Outfits not so much. Also eliminating facial hair and growing your own hair out will go a long way.
While I thoroughly believe that we are who we are and that we make do, the comparison formula, "Well, so-and-so is tall and she's beautiful" cuts a few logical corners. Yes, there are tall women, but being tall is only one of many things that tend to gender me male to others. It's sort of like when my cis friends say "Hey, I got called sir once" when I tell them about it happening to me all day long.
I wonder if we lived in a world where trans people were accepted, would we try to fit the binary, exclusively?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Quote from: Gertrude on September 12, 2017, 11:08:33 PM
I wonder if we lived in a world where trans people were accepted, would we try to fit the binary, exclusively?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
I agree Gertrude. It's a shame we choose the most shallow end. Acceptance, equal rights. confidence about how we feel. Not how we look per se. will go a lot further.
But I understand why kids might have the opposite belief.
Quote from: rmaddy on September 12, 2017, 09:55:41 PM
While I thoroughly believe that we are who we are and that we make do, the comparison formula, "Well, so-and-so is tall and she's beautiful" cuts a few logical corners. Yes, there are tall women, but being tall is only one of many things that tend to gender me male to others. It's sort of like when my cis friends say "Hey, I got called sir once" when I tell them about it happening to me all day long.
Nobody called them beautiful because they are tall they were offered as examples of known tall women that I think the reader young and old have seen and can relate. As stated one is a tennis champion multiple times and in the era of Serena and Venus all the more impressive. The other is a 3 time olympian champion I believe but that really is not important. It is their visibility. For COMPARISON. See? ... there are CIS women you are as tall as. I know as someone whom herself is 6'3" that it is comforting, because while rare does not make me a freak in the general public. So much easier to pass if you have the confidence you fit in.
Quote from: DawnOday on September 13, 2017, 12:36:39 AM
Nobody called them beautiful because they are tall they were offered as examples of known tall women that I think the reader young and old have seen and can relate. As stated one is a tennis champion multiple times and in the era of Serena and Venus all the more impressive. The other is a 3 time olympian champion I believe but that really is not important. It is their visibility. For COMPARISON. See? ... there are CIS women you are as tall as. I know as someone whom herself is 6'3" that it is comforting, because while rare does not make me a freak in the general public. So much easier to pass if you have the confidence you fit in.
Passing is, contrary to the prevailing wisdom here, more something that happens than something you do. Take Serena or Venus. Perhaps the eye is first drawn to the fact that they are tall or strong, but waiting behind these characteristics are literary hundreds of cues that they are female, whereas for the average transwoman, even one who has been out for quite some time, there are hundreds of cues shouting male. You can spend a lifetime trying to snuff them all and you will never succeed.
If you've read my posts before, you will know that I don't think that very many transpeople really do pass, or here's the important bit...
should try to do so very much. It's
mostly privilege, like being smart, pretty or anything else desirable. Not passing doesn't make one an ounce less a woman (triple negative, for those counting).
No arguing that confidence is a virtue of course, so long as it's tempered by competence, modesty, etc.
Truth be told, passing is a vanity trait not a practical goal. Having acceptance as a human being, with human rights to equality. We are not seeking special treatment but equality and acceptance If someone thinks I pass, all the better. But I still look for cue's that we fit in. I am not looking for an argument. I could reference Suzy Smith but the person reading the post would go Suzy who? I was merely pointing out that CIS women can be tall. That was the comparison height, not beauty, not femininity. These examples happened to be well known sport performers. I will never pass but if I happen to stand next to Gabriel Reese we will be the same size, so from a distance... If I really want to fit in I would practice my gestures, speech, style, hair, makeup. The question is, can a tall person pass. Not a beautiful person not an ugly person, not a feminine person. A tall person and if you put in the work and you have confidence in yourself you stand a better chance of putting it all together. I hope I have explained myself to your satisfaction. I didn't plan on starting a debate. That's my problem when I try to explain myself, I step in it.
Quote from: rmaddy on September 13, 2017, 01:59:44 AM
...
If you've read my posts before, you will know that I don't think that very many transpeople really do pass, or here's the important bit...should try to do so very much. It's mostly privilege, like being smart, pretty or anything else desirable. Not passing doesn't make one an ounce less a woman (triple negative, for those counting).
No arguing that confidence is a virtue of course, so long as it's tempered by competence, modesty, etc.
I haven't read all of your posts but I feel agreement with what you're summarizing here.
I'll only add that for myself it's important to remember there was a time not long ago when trans-women had to pass to survive or stay out of jail. Literally there were places in the U.S. where a genetic male could end up in jail for wearing a dress—silly by today's standards if not generally. Today we can have rmaddy's latitude openly but that wasn't always the case.
I'm fairly certain passing will be difficult for me generally. There's just size and voice issues that actually become hugely more permanent and ingrained when transitioning later in life, if not earlier anyway. That doesn't change the fact that I feel more comfortable when I make strides in improving my passability.
Improving passability, or having levels of passability is a very real thing. Like the gender spectrum, improvements in passability matter (to some, including me) which means efforts to pass—or to learn why one doesn't pass—
can matter. (I stress 'can' because it depends on who any one person is... for some it may not matter, more power to them.)
Even without 100% passability, I'm able to function more fully as my feminine self given the efforts I've taken and want to continue to take. So I work on my voice, improve aesthetics, and all that. I figure if I either reach a point of being settled, or continue to make strides, it's truly all good... doing one's best here matters, it counts. At least for me.
As this journey of mine continues, and I find such gained comfort from feminizing steps has me wondering if there isn't some sort of optimum set of limitations that will leave me appreciating those limitations. At the end of the day, I only have one me, just as each of us has only one of ourselves... it seems there must be joy in us really appreciating exactly who we are, including limitations in the efforts to fully pass.
Yes...
My cis-friend is 6'1. She is femme and very attractive. The height is not a problem, if you present as female, you are female. No matter height.