Sometimes my gender dysphoria is strong an sometimes it is nonexistent. That's what I feel and have read on countless articles. I feel like maybe it will go away when I am older and I see that there are other people who felt the same way but it didn't go away. I have been realizing more and more recently that no matter what I feel and no matter how much I feel like staying a guy at times, my dysphoria will come back. That is starting to sink in and I am starting to come t a realization that I should do something about it. I have wanted to tell my parents in the past but just couldn't bring myself to do it (maybe because I was rushing it) but I am getting closer to a point of being ready. I have been on this site for almost a year now as we'll and I am seeing that I will probably continue with these feelings. I have gone this summer without hanging out with any friends (partly because of other issues but also because I have been figuring myself out) and I have been realizing more and more that this is affecting things that I do every day so I know I need todo something. I realize that it will be tough but that is a journey I believe I am ready to begin. Ian at a point where I need outside help and cannot help myself any further. Did anyone else ever come to a realization like this?
Hi Britt.
I'm Laurie, mtf, just in case we haven't met before. (hug). You asked "Did anyone else ever come to a realization like this?" You described how more and more your dysphoria is affecting your life and feel the need to do something about it. I'm a little older than you are and when I was facing this feeling the words gender dysphoria were not in my vocabulary. I now know my need to crossdress was how my dysphoria manifested itself along with anger, insecurity, fear. It was eased through my crossdressing but the symptoms were always there. I went through many attempts to stop which included purges of my secret wardrobe. Eventually after many many failures I finally accepted that dressing was something I just had to do and I stopped trying to stop. That helped but did not stop the other issues that plagued me. It was not until I added those words to my vocabulary last November why I was the way I was and began to transition. I had hit that point where something had to be done and once I saw a solution I jumped on it. As a result my attitude and life are changing. There are ups and downs but I think I am happier over all and less angry. It's a work in progress and so far I am liking it.
I hope you have made the decision that works for you. Whatever that is I wish happiness and calm come to you.
Hugs,
Laurie
There was a time when looking in the mirror boosted my confidence. Enough people tell you you're attractive, you start to believe it. The funny thing is I couldn't see it myself. Still cant. The big difference now is when I walk into the bathroom and glance towards the mirror, it surprises me. It doesn't match who I am on the inside at all. I remember everything hitting me like an epiphany. Like I gained complete self awareness. Then memories that were all but forgotten came rushing back as clues. I experimented with feminizing myself and found that my sense of self worth rose. I've tried letting it go. Burying it. It's not happening. There's no going back. Whether it stays buried for a little while or years, it will always be there. The diamond has been uncovered. Now I'm slowly chiseling it into Robin.
QuoteI'm Laurie, mtf, just in case we haven't met before.
Who are you, if we have met before? :D