My boyfriend is going to the endocrinologist in two days to finally get his first shot of testosterone, but for me, I still have a few months before I can start. I've tried to get him to wait until we both could go on it at the same day, but he wasn't willing to. I don't know how to cope with this - In my eyes, I'll always be inferior. He'll drastically look male before I even do, and I feel really alienated. I know that he'll always be transitioning faster than I am and pass better. He'll get called all of the proper pronouns and have all of the approval of being a man, and I'll be stuck in his shadow. Until the day that we die, he'll always be more of a "man" than me.
Not to mention, because I'm pre-T, whenever we are togeather, we will be seen as a straight couple, and I'll be misgendered even worse.
Welcome to Susan's Place. HRT for MTFs is a little hit and miss because estrogen isn't that powerful at feminizing a person. Testosterone on the other hand is very powerful and I don't think I have ever seen a FTM who has been on testosterone for an extended period of time who didn't look masculine. I have seen some amazing transformations over just a few months so even without seeing what you look like, I think you will find the results satisfactory. Yes, your friend may be getting a head start but you will be catching up shorty.
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