So I work in the film industry and I spend a lot of time hiding microphone packs under actors' clothing. Recently I noticed that several actresses have been making the same comments when I place the pack on their thigh because they are wearing a dress: look I have a dick now! I am not out at work and I don't think that these actresses mean to be transphobic when they claim that having a mic pack attached to their thigh looks like they have a penis. (You can't even see it through the dress, that's the whole point of hiding it there!) Am I being overly sensitive or is what they're saying actually inconsiderate? Also, what's the best way to address this? Most of these women are my bosses and/or well regarded in the industry and I can't afford to ruin my reputation when I'm this close to joining the union. (Union = health insurance = access to HRT) Any tips to approach this topic courteously?
-eliot
That's hard to say without knowing the person. Some people have a totally feeble sense of humor but try to make jokes anyway. Are these women otherwise respectful to you? Do they make other comments that could be taken as anti trans?
If it turns out they are trying to rip on you, the next time one of them says " oh I have a Dick now." just say "but didn't you always?"
Quote from: TheOtherLucas on August 29, 2017, 04:17:17 PM
So I work in the film industry and I spend a lot of time hiding microphone packs under actors' clothing. Recently I noticed that several actresses have been making the same comments when I place the pack on their thigh because they are wearing a dress: look I have a dick now! I am not out at work and I don't think that these actresses mean to be transphobic when they claim that having a mic pack attached to their thigh looks like they have a penis. (You can't even see it through the dress, that's the whole point of hiding it there!) Am I being overly sensitive or is what they're saying actually inconsiderate? Also, what's the best way to address this? Most of these women are my bosses and/or well regarded in the industry and I can't afford to ruin my reputation when I'm this close to joining the union. (Union = health insurance = access to HRT) Any tips to approach this topic courteously?
-eliot
After reading this over a couple times and flailing a bit to frame this in a transphobic light, I find myself failing. I think they're just mindlessly making a lame joke, sort of like people that put balloons under their shirts and strut around like they have huge racks. It's just something dumb that humans do.
In my honest opinion, I don't really think addressing it with any of them is going to do anything but make you look weird/overly sensitive.
Honestly? If that bothers you I'd say you're pretty thin skinned. I fail to see anything transphobic about it.
The current culture has people worrying about every comment made, every look you might get.
I think it's important not to get caught up in that. If you're going to worry about comments you're never going to stop having to think about them.
i guess its just my paranoia for being closeted at work. :/
Quote from: TheOtherLucas on August 30, 2017, 05:58:28 PM
i guess its just my paranoia for being closeted at work. :/
If you're closeted, how could their comments be an intentional slam on you? To me, it sounds like a bemused statement to diffuse the obvious awkwardness of having someone else strap something to a relatively private part. I'm not reading their eyes/voice, but that's how it looks based on what you've provided.
Quote from: TheOtherLucas on August 30, 2017, 05:58:28 PM
i guess its just my paranoia for being closeted at work. :/
Yep I'd go with that and it's valid to have the feeling, smart to check in someplace safe rather than letting it eat at you.