Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Its_Cayden on August 31, 2017, 07:11:10 PM

Title: I posed in the wrong area...
Post by: Its_Cayden on August 31, 2017, 07:11:10 PM
Here's an update of what been happening in my life while I've been away. First things first, I'm on the road to finally starting testosterone! I got a job and saved up to pay off the therapist, continuing to see her, and I found an Endocrinologist for the hormonal therapy. I go in as a new patient the 13th of September, after that blood work, and I find out if I can be on testosterone! I can't believe it's taken 4 years to finally get here, but here it is. Now I have to save up for top surgery and a hysterectomy.

One more thing that I would like some help with. So 6 years ago I was a freshman in high school, and this is when I realized I liked girls. I met the girl that was just perfect, I won't say her name for her own privacy, but the last time we spoke was the beginning of my Senior year with the last words "I can't love you the way you love me." Now I never understood what she meant at the time cause I never pushed her to do anything with me. I never held her hand, or tried to kiss her, nothing. Cause when I was around her my heart would beat fast, I'd stutter, and I would do some weird hand movements. But I couldn't go throughout my day without seeing that beautiful smile of hers. She hasn't spoken to me since, I was basically ghosted, I never felt such pain. It's been 2 years since then and a few days ago I met her and she did my first tattoo. I tried to play I cool, but dear lord it was AMAzING seeing her again. I had asked to hand out with her and she said she was down. I invited her to see IT with me when it comes out and she won't respond. I don't know if I should leave it at that, or if I should message her about it. Though I don't want my hopes up, I'm fine with out being with her in the dating way, but I'd like for her to stay. Any advice?
Title: Re: I posed in the wrong area...
Post by: Contravene on August 31, 2017, 08:10:17 PM
Congrats on starting T soon.

As far as the girl situation goes, I wouldn't bother after being ghosted once let alone a second time. She's obviously either not interested or has something that's holding her back. You can't force her to respond or show interest so I would just move on if I were you. If you absolutely have to text her one last time you could just simply say that you didn't mean it as a date then wrap it up by saying it was nice to see her again and that you wish her well. It's pretty childish in my opinion to just not respond to someone. The least she could do is let you know she isn't interested even if that means that she isn't interested in pursuing a friendship with you either which she may not want to do because she knows that even as friends you'd still have feelings for her. Be the bigger person and wish her well then move on.
Title: Re: I posed in the wrong area...
Post by: Its_Cayden on September 03, 2017, 12:10:43 AM
Right I'm so excited!! 4 years and I finally made it!

With the girl, she messaged me back and I'm just leaving it at that. Moving on like the bigger person.
Title: Re: I posed in the wrong area...
Post by: WolfNightV4X1 on September 03, 2017, 12:29:58 AM
Aw yeah, man you're going to do so well on that. I definitely follow your IG as usual so if you get to posting updates I'll definitely follow how well that turns out. Feels awesome, glad you made it!

And sorry about that girl, Contravene made the best advice I've seen can't say you'll get any better than that. Here's hoping you find someone that feels the same way in the future
Title: Re: I posed in the wrong area...
Post by: Its_Cayden on September 04, 2017, 04:54:32 AM
I plan to post a ton about my transition! So I can look back and see how far I made it. I'll gladly keep it updated. 😁 Nothing exciting has happened now so it's kind of dull, but in a few weeks!

Yea your right, moving on.