I think I finally figured out why I never manage to pass.
I have a big chest, I'm talking DD's. And I'm a pretty skinny guy, 140 lbs of mostly muscle. So trying to flatten those things down is a challenge. I've made peace with the fact that nothing short of surgery is ever going to make my chest look completely flat. But I thought that with a binder, a baggy shirt and slouching my shoulders, at least my chest wasn't really noticeable to anyone other than me.
Apparently I was way wrong. I've had it pointed out not once but twice now, first by another FTM guy and then by my therapist, that even when I'm binding...I don't look like I'm binding :icon_confused:.
Now I'm not upset at either of them, they were both really nice and trying to offer advice, one about how to cover up my chest during the summer without needing a binder and the other talking about how I might not even need top surgery. But really?? I'm wearing a binder that is a size smaller that I should be wearing and yet I'm still an obvious A cup?? Sighs, bangs head on desk.
I guess now I know part of why I always get read female. Not sure how to fix this short of surgery, but I haven't even got my letter for T yet, so that's years away. I can't wait for winter to get here. Yay layers.
Dude, I can empathize with this 100%. Pre-surgery, I was a C or something (honestly, no idea, I wore sports bras or binders my entire tittied life) which isn't really huge, per se, but they were perky as f***.
I couldn't bind them down to save my life. I, too, bought a binder smaller than I needed and no matter how far I tried to part them, how carefully I tried to bind them... I'd just end up with a uniboob. A very uncomfortable uniboob.
The BS slim hourglass figure didn't help, either. My mid section was very trim so I couldn't get away with the chest just looking like a little extra heft. It was very obvious they were there.
I'm sorry I can't really offer you any advice but I can certainly commiserate.
I have F cups, and I'll be honest: I've just let myself go and gained weight because of this. The weight redistribution to my gut caused by T also helps. Like you've noticed, past a certain size there's just no getting them flat, so you have to either pass them off as pecs or the result of being overweight.
If you're skinny, you might be able to shift stuff around and go the pecs route. The muscle mass you eventually gain from T will help you pull that off.
I can't offer advice at all, but I can sort of understand you (although my case is different).
I'm pretty small (I guess something between A-B, I guess, 'cause I never used bras neither), but I'm unable to bind effectively. I'm, overall, small; my chest by itself is small, but proportionally with my body, it is like normal, probably near a C (or maybe I'm just dramatic xD). But yeah, I'm small as hell and pretty slim too. I'm using the smallest XS from underworks, the 997, and the chest is still noticeable if I'm not using at least two layers. If I try with a baggy t-shirt, even a shirt, they are obvious (I think it is because a combination of both my slim body and that the XS is still a little big for me). I've tried to place them the most carefully I was capable of, but they end up doing whatever they want.
I guess it's all about patience. Having those is a total pain in the ass, but I can tell that it's worse to try out more extremist solutions; I tried with a home-made binder (or at least, a binder attempt) and when I use it I end up with a mild rib pain.
I'm sorry about your situation, and I'm sorry too I can not offer you any advice at all, but I can empathize with this, 'cause I'll probably have to wait some years before getting the surgery too. Good luck, and be patient.
I pass as a guy about 40% of the time. I have G-cup. I am over weight though. I don't wear a binder to work. People in public says he to me very often. Jackets and stuff helps a lot. But I bought a binder from 2G something. It worked wonders. My chest magically shrunk to b-cup. But because of my weight I pass with that.
What if you use both sports bra and the binder?
I started out as a C-cup before starting T. I can bind okay, all things considered. I'm stocky and it just looks like well...more fat.
That said, I think I could fit into an A-cup now after being on T for nearly five months. I have exercised pretty heavily for the last ten months to try and boost my natural T levels, build muscle, and relocate some of the body fat.
Maybe after you're on T, you'll be able to bind more effectively. It won't make 'em go away, but for me, it definitely made the problem smaller and easier to manage.
I have an H cup or bigger so I feel your pain. I am heavier so that helps but my chest still gives me away. I pass almost 100% from the back but as soon as people see the front it's "sorry ma'am"...
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I too can relate to some degree.
I think that some of the problem is that so many men push their moobs down instead of pressing them flat against their ribcage.
I'm a D cup, almost a DD, and I wear UnderWorks tri-top binders. I press my moobs against my ribcage, position the nipples to a relatively normal position, and it looks like I have pecs. My being stocky and somewhat muscular helps as well. If you have muscular arms, it should help as well to look like you work out.
Ryuichi
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Currently, I am about 50 or so lbs overweight, DD cups, and binding does little to help. I use GC2B binders... I like the full tank ones myself. And I still get read as female. Course the only people who ever see me are people who know me to be female anyway because they are family. So I compleeeeeeeeeetely understand the pain.
I did notice you said that you wear your binders a size too small though... Believe it or not, that tends to be counterproductive (and unsafe but won't go into that). From both what I've read AND experienced, simply because there's just less space to put a whole lot of flab (for lack of a better word). And think about it, people as a rule noticed over stuffed (or way understuffed hahaha) things more.
Say you're making a... uh... um... lets go with apple pie. You have your bottom crust, right? Put your apple filling in, and then put that beautiful top crust on, and put it in the oven. Now.... too little filling, that crust will sink, (not to mention I'm pretty sure people will be wondering where the filling wandered off to) and well, yeah you notice a crust that sinks into itself, right? Too full, the pie will just look like a mountain... if it hasn't exploded yet that is. Just the right amount? The pie crust has set beautifully across the apples, and people can focus on what really matters... The taste. (Which you as a chef will naturally be overly critical of so you go looking for people's praise, because hey, everyone is their own worst critic.)
A binder is the same way. A binder too big looks like you're wearing (in my case anyway because of the type I prefer) a tank top. A binder too tight, well, hello to the pillows thank you very much. A just right fitting binder--it might not be perfect because they are made to fit a non-descript person so that more people can wear it-- is more likely to make you look flat chested. And also, like someone else said, (Think Ryuichi?) if you can get them down enough, (and lookinhg like you have A-cups in a binder definitely is enough) just play around with the pillows until they're in the right spot and they'll look like pecs. Cause remember, even guys aren't always flat chested. Heavens, look at those models in magazines that we drool over... Six packs and pecs seems to be ideal...
Quote from: Rowena_Ellenweorc on September 06, 2017, 01:25:00 AM
I did notice you said that you wear your binders a size too small though... Believe it or not, that tends to be counterproductive (and unsafe but won't go into that).
Don't worry, I definitely practice safe binding. The last thing I want to do is permanently mess myself up. The size thing is mostly because of the type of binder I use. I actually have 4 binders, 3 correctly sized, and 3 different types. The one that is a size smaller is the Underworks Cotton Lined Tri-top, which is actually really stretchy and super comfortable. I can wear that thing for 12 hours straight without any discomfort. The correctly sized regular Underworks Tri-top however, I can't wear for more than 4 hours max before I
have to take it off. For some reason it's really uncomfortable and the only binder I've ever worn that causes pain. The only down side of the Cotton Lined Tri-top is slightly less binding ability. But when I weigh the 10x more comfortable than the regular tri-top plus no pain vs slightly better binding ability plus pain and I can't breath, I go with the cotton lined. I can see what your saying about the less space of the smaller size making them more noticeable though. It was interesting that both times someone brought it up I was wearing the smaller sized one.
Hi Kylen,
I like your name as it is one letter different from my son's name which was Kylan. Sadly he is no longer with us but that isn't what I want to talk to you about.
I see that you have been around for quite a long time and do not appear to have gotten a proper greeting. You have been slipping through the cracks for a very long time. As you already seen well establish here I will not ask you to go to out Introductions forum and create a post for us though you are welcome to do so if you would like to.
You also probably do not need the usual cautions and links but to make your stay with us I will post it for you anyway. I'm glad you are here and participating.
Laurie
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I'm a DDD/F and it makes me extremely miserable. I only have one binder because I had to custom order it (it was expensive as ****), so I can't wear it all the time. The local gender clinic has my letters and is supposed to get back to me soon, but if I ask for top surgery they'll probably tell me I have to be on T for a year first.
I very occasionally pass if I'm wearing the binder and 2 layers of shirts, but mostly I'm read as female.
So impatient to get rid of these ****ing things.